Inbred Hillbilly Slavers
“Hey Will I just finished this history book and now I-”
I didn’t finish my sentence as I realized that I am not in Will’s room anymore, nor the castle, nor Colonus for that matter. Actually where the f*ck am I? I take a look at my surroundings and I realize that I am in the middle of the freaking woods. Whelp, I guess I have to learn how to survive in the woods now. I think the first thing I have to do is drink my own urine. I also think I have to pee on my clothes and wear them as a hat so to block off the heat. Wait I think that’s for when I’m stranded in the desert, regardless I am going to pee on things. Wait a minute, did Will send me here? Can he summon portals? When I get back to Colonus, I am so punching Will in the face and giving him a super long rant about the books I’ve been reading for the past week. I might as well start walking and hope that I can just leave the woods.
I start to walk and take a more detailed look at my surroundings and it’s actually pretty hard to see. The trees around me are huge, it reminds me of the trees in the Redwood national parks in California except these trees are a lot skinnier and closer together. I can tell it’s sunny but trees are blocking most of the sunlight. As I kept walking I started hearing weird voices.
“Oooh, look at that one, look at that one!” Said a weird raspy voice in a loud whisper.
“Yeah, yeah, that one looks good. He got that dark meat. I’ve never seen skin so black," said a similar voice.
Um, what did I just hear? Did a disembodied voice just tell me that I got that “dark meat”? Oh, hell nah, I ain’t dealing with this. The moment when disembodied voices start hitting on me is when it’s time to leave. I start to jog instead of walking to get out of there but I still hear the voices. I’m definitely being followed but I can’t see anything. All I see are trees.
“Heheheheh look at ’im run he’s slow” said one of the voices.
“Hah, Daddy’s going to like this one,” said the other.
Oh, hell nah, I don’t even want to know what that means. I started to sprint like a mad man through the woods. I’m running over streams of water and a bunch of rocks trying to get away but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being watched. After running for what feels like forever I finally slowed down to catch my breath. I’m breathing heavily with my arms on my head in an attempt to open my lungs when I start to hear the voices again.
“Ooh, it can run. Not fast though, huh, brudda?” said one.
“Yeah, but it’s tired now so let’s get it,” said the other.
“Alright, f*ck it, COME AT ME DISEMBODIED VOICES I’M ABOUT TO KICK SOME DISEMBODIED AS*!” I scream as I put my arms up.
I’m ready to fight but I can’t summon my aura. Darn it looks like I really am going to need to do that training. If Will is going to keep being put me into stupid situations like this then I’m going to have to be prepared. I look around trying to see where the two voices are coming from but I can’t. I just see that I am at a river with a bunch of trees both ahead and behind me. The next thing I know I felt a weird pinch in the back of my neck. I grab what hit my neck and I see that it’s a weird dart. Well, shoot, I think I know where this is going. I’m suddenly really tired and I’m trying to keep my eyes open but the fatigue is too great. I close my eyes and I plop to the ground asleep.
“Hey, are you ok?” said a man’s voice.
I open my eyes and GOD DA*NIT I’M IN A JAIL CELL AGAIN. I’m getting tired of this. Why does this keep happening to me? Is this punishment for what I did in the old world? I didn’t even do anything there to warrant punishment. All I did was read and go to class. Maybe I didn’t read enough--that’s the only logical explanation. I take a look at my surroundings and the jail cell looks familiar to the last one I was in, with the bucket and everything. The only difference is that the lighting is a lot worse, there aren’t as many torches in the hallway--oh and there’s a guy in my cell with me, should probably focus on that huh? He has on thin brown leather armor with brown fingerless gloves. His face has short brown hair and equally brown eyes. The brown is like that of caramel and now I’m kinda hungry.
“Hey, man, I call top bunk.” I tell him.
Since I’m in jail I gotta assert my dominance. Getting the top bunk is one of the ways to do that. The other way is to knock all his teeth out and then have my way with him. But I don’t want to do that. Not yet, at least. After I say that, I realized that it made no sense as we both just awkwardly looked at the one bench with a pillow on it that’s meant to be the cell’s bed.
“Are you ok? They really messed you up, huh?” he asks.
“Ugh, sorry about that, my prison instincts kicked in. What’s happening right now?”
“You must have been caught the same way we’ve been then. We are currently prisoners of the Murphee brood. They’re a bunch of inbred psychopathic slavers. We’re in the middle of their rumoured tower where they live and keep their slaves before they sell them off to the highest bidder. I guess we know for a fact that it’s not a rumor huh?” he informs me.
Inbred psychopathic slavers? If there is a list of things I didn’t want to hear that would definitely be on the list. I need to get the f*ck out of here, I am not becoming this world’s first black slave. If I am ever forced to grow cotton, I’m going Nat Turner on everyone’s a*s.
“Ok, yeah, that is literally one of the worst things I could have been told, thanks for that. So who are you and how did you end up here?” I question.
“I’m Warren. I am an adventurer or I guess was, since if I somehow survive this they’re going to kick me out of Dragon’s Descent. I’m a nomad rank. I led a bunch of my friends here in an attempt to capture the Murphee brood. The thing is our group only consisted of nomads and lower. We weren’t supposed to take this mission. It was a six star mission but we thought if we could do it they would praise and promote us. Gods, we were stupid. Worst part is-- we didn’t even have the chance to fight back. They caught us all in the middle of the night. I was on watch but for some reason I just fell asleep out of the blue... it’s all my fault” he says as he sits on the bench and puts both hands on his face.
I read a book on the history of Dragon’s Descent while I was cooped up in my room so I understand what he’s talking about for the most part. If I’m correct nomad is one of the lower ranks and the missions are out of 9 stars so this guy basically tried to do a mission he definitely wasn’t prepared for.
“Well if they know you’re gone they’re surely going to send back up right?”
“That’s the worst part. We didn’t tell anyone we were leaving. We wanted it to be a surprise. I’m sure they know we’re gone but they definitely have no idea where we are. That’s my story so what about you? You some sort of foreign druid monk?”
I forgot that my clothes aren’t exactly normal everyday clothes here. I had clothes to change into in my room but I was too busy with my books that I haven’t changed. Jesus I must smell awful right now. Good thing we’re in the middle of a horrible jail cell to cover the smell.
“Not exactly. You hear about the magical quake which summoned the hero from the prophecy?” I ask.
“Yeah I heard about that. It worked? We’ve been here for a week so it’s not like I was in Colonus at the time. By Gods and Goddesses are you actually the hero?” he asks with excitement in his voice.
“No, but I came in with him, so you guys got a two for one special. Your hero transported me into the woods and the next thing I know--I’m here. I don’t know about you but I ain’t dying here. I got books to read and a guy to punch. So I’m escaping,” I tell him.
“Good luck with that. They have a magical inhibitor somewhere within the tower which is preventing us from using either aura or magic. You should just accept your fate,” he says dejectedly.
"Ah hell nah, f*ck that and f*ck you for suggesting that. So what you just gave up? I don’t wanna hear all that. You and I are getting out of here. Who knows maybe your friends are still alive”.
“I doubt that. There were 9 of us locked up here and one by one they dragged us out. At first there were screams. Then there was just silence. They are all either dead, sold into slavery, or worse. If the other rumours about the Murphee brood are true that is. The only ones left are me, Adam, the one who has been crying this whole time, and maybe Nerva. She was taken yesterday so she could still be alive but I doubt it,” he informs me.
I hadn’t realized but there has been a whimpering that’s been happening this whole time. I guess I was too busy focusing on Warren to notice. I look out the cell to the one across the hall from us and I see a guy in a ball crying in the corner.
“Hey! Stop that s*it, I don’t wanna hear all that.” I say to him.
“I’ve been listening. You’re not gonna succeed. We’re all gonna diiieeeeeeeeee. They’re going to do horrible things to us. They’re going to make me a sex slave!” He says while crying.
“Hey, your name’s Adam, right? You’re gonna have to stop being a b*tch, Adam. I already told you, I don’t wanna hear all that. We’re going to get out of here and everything is going to be fine.” I assure him.
I can’t believe that I have to escape with these guys. They’re gonna have to get their act together. If they are the reason I die, my ghost is going to kick their as*ses. Before I could say another word to either of them, I started to hear footsteps and humming come down the hallway. It’s a little girl who stops right in front of my cell. She’s in dirty peasant clothes and on top of that has a bunch of weird brown spots all over her body.
“Wow, brother was right, you really do got that dark meat. You gonna sell for a lot of money. That is, after we have some fun with you first. Hehheheheheh” she says.
“Hey, kid, how old are you?” I ask.
“You’re about to be six feet under.” I threaten.
I am not afraid to beat up a child. I don’t care if they’re 9 or 99. The girl just laughs and walks away though so I guess my threat didn’t work. Well that does it--I’m punching her face into a wall.
“Oh, we’re definitely getting out of here and we’re kicking everybody’s as*. So, look, if you both don’t grow some balls right now--I’m killing you both. Listen, if we all work together we can do this. ” I tell them.
“Heh, you remind me of Nerva. Though not as angry, and you don’t cuss every sentence. Ok, I’ll help. I mean we can either stay here and die and if we fail we’ll still die. So might as well choose the option that could end with us surviving this.” Warren says.
“Yeah, but attempting and failing will result in horrible horrible torture. . .” says Adam who got out of his fetal position and is facing us from across the hall in his cell.
Having a better look at him he has clothes similar to Warren, so I guess this guy is somehow an adventurer. He has curly blonde hair and green eyes with a bunch of snot coming down his face from crying.
“They were probably going torture us anyway, Adam. Besides, don’t you want to save Nerva or at least try?” Warren asks him.
“No. She’s evil and hurts me.” Adam replies.
“Ok, then, choose to help for a different reason. I mean there is that girl you like right?” Warren inquires.
“I-I mean, yeah, but she doesn’t know I exist.” Adam states as he wipes some snot from his face.
“I’m sure if she hears about how you freed yourself from slavers she’ll be all over you” Warren assures.
“Y-you think so? Ok, I’ll help, but I still think I’m going to die” Adam says.
“Ok, we done? This is getting stupid. Warren just tell me everything you know about these inbred f*cks. It’ll help us form a plan to escape.” I order him.
“Well, it’s been said that the Murphee brood used to be an aristocratic family in Colonus before the night of a thousand knives. After that, they fled the city and moved into the woods where they were presumed to be dead. But, over the years, there’s been reports of them still being alive snatching people in the woods. It eventually became known that they were responsible for the slave trade in Dreden. There was also the rumour of them operating out of this tower which we know to be true now. It’s been said the only reason they’ve survived without contact with the outside world is by inbreeding with each other and living off the land. Presumably they’re all immediate family members. With sisters and brothers being made to mate with each other. . .” Warren informs me.
The night of a thousand knives was an event I read about in my history book on the history of Dreden. Apparently it was the night that Borin became the lord. He apparently assassinated the previous lord himself with his followers killing all of the previous lord’s supporters which included the aristocracy of Colonus. The people were fine with it because the previous lord was a tyrant and the people hated the aristocracy anyway. The imperial government didn’t care as well since Borin said he only cared about taking over Dreden and had no plans to challenge the other states nor the emperor. This happened 35 years ago, if my book was published recently. Borin is more hardcore than I realized. But back to the horrible situation at hand.
“How many of them are there?” I ask Warren.
“No idea. I just know that there’s a lot of them in order for them to run this slaving operation,” he tells me.
“Can you at least tell me who’s in charge of it all?” I ask.
“That would be Seth Murphee, or Daddy Murphee, as he is called. He’s the one we adventurers were supposed to apprehend. He’s in charge with his sister/wife, who also has a bounty on her.”
“Ok, that helps a bit. What do you know about the tower?”
“Next to nothing. I doubted this place even existed. It looks old though which could be helpful. Maybe we can make a hole or something. I’m also guessing that the inhibitor is somewhere on the upper floors. I doubt it’d be anywhere near us.”
“What’s this inhibitor anyway?”
“It’s a magical artifact. It’s a statue of Chestus, you know, the God of Magic. I’ve never seen one myself since they’re rare but I’ve been told it emits a bright blue light. The good news is that the Murphees can’t use their aura or magic either. The statue stops all.”
Over the past week, I’ve also read a book on the history of religion and it turns out Chestus was that little boy I saw on the mountain which showed the faces of the Gods and Goddesses. It also turns out that Vienna is the Goddess of Fate.
“Ok, I got a plan. We’re going to get a guard to come over here. We’re going to knock him out and take his keys. Then, we’re going to scale the tower and destroy the statue. Then once we have our abilities back we’re kicking everyone’s as*es and getting out of here” I tell them.
“T-that doesn’t sound like a plan at all. You’re just winging it and what about Nerva didn’t you want to save her?“Adam asks.
“I’m sure we’ll find her at some point, if she’s alive. Plus, do you have a better idea?” I ask Adam.
“. . . No. But, we’re so dead”
“It’s true, you might die, and that is a sacrifice I am willing to make,” I tell him.
“You might want Adam to live. He’s a healer. I’m only a swordsman so if we get hurt he’s the only one who can help us. If anyone deserves to die during this, it’s me. I’m the one who got us into this mess anyway. Also Adam, don’t worry about Nerva. Once we destroy the inhibitor I’m sure she can free herself. She’s probably too angry to die, once I think about it.” Warren interjects.
“Ugh, ok, fine, we’ll try extra hard to make sure he lives. Now, let’s get the f*ck outta here. Adam scream like a b*tch to summon a guard” I command.
“Ugh, ok. Help. Help me. I need help.” Adams says in an unconvincing tone.
This man can’t act. Whelp that didn’t work at all. Only awkward silence followed after he said that. It looks like we’re going to have to try something more drastic. I was about to suggest something but it looks like Warren has an idea of his own.
“Hey, what’s your name? You never told us it” Warren whispers to me.
“It’s Quincy” I whisper back.
“Ok, follow my lead, I got an idea. . . NO! DON’T DO IT! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR! STOP QUINCY, THE MAN WHO HAS THE BLACKNESS!” he screams.
Ok, I think I know what he’s trying to do. Though, everybody pointing out my skin color is making me kinda sad. I guess I’ll allow it in this instance because I think I’m valuable because black people don’t exist here, or at least not in this part of the world.
“IT’S TOO LATE. I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF. THAT WAY I WON’T BE SOLD INTO SLAVERY FOR A BUNCH OF MONEY. SO MUCH MONEY. LIKE SO MUCH F*CKING MONEY!” I scream.
I think it worked because I’m starting to hear the sound of footsteps.
“This way, Cletus, come on, you heard the screaming. If the dark meat dies, daddy is going to hurt us!” Says that little girl from before.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming. Calm down little sistuh. Da*n overalls are chafing me!” He complains with a southern drawl.
Oh shoot, in order for him to actually open the cell door I gotta look like I’m dead. I proceed to lay on the bench with my face facing the wall so he won’t see what I look like.
"What in tarnation is happening here?” he asks Warren.
“Oh, it’s horrible, my cellmate is about to die. He needs medical attention. You need to help him quickly!” Warren begs with a sense of urgency.
At least Warren can act. I have no idea what Adam is doing right now. Probably peeing himself.
“Ok, hold on. Sis, you watch the other one, I’m opening the cell door. You stand against the wall and don’t move. Let’s see what’s wrong with you, boy.” He says as he opens the gate and walks in.
I feel his presence behind me. I’m going to have to make my move.
“QUINCY, NOW!” Warren screams.
I turn around quickly to get up and see Warren holding Cletus in a chokehold. I look at his belt and attempt to grab his keys but Cletus kicks me into the stomach making me fall back onto the bench. For a guy getting choked out he sure can kick cause it knocked the wind out of me. As I try to breathe normally again, Cletus hits Warren in the stomach with his right elbow--causing Warren to let go of him and reel back in pain.
“Yeah, Cletus you get ’em. You show em what’s what!” The girls cheers on.
Cletus turns around and gives Warren a right hook to the face making him fall to the ground. I finally got my wind back, so it’s time to kick this guy’s a*s. I give Cletus a right straight to the back of the head and da*n this guy has a hard head. My fist is in pain but it did damage as Cletus stumbles forward and bumps into the wall facing him.
“You f*cking dark meat you’re gonna pay for that!” He yells as he quickly turns around and puts both hands around my throat and lifts me up into the air.
“Warren, a little help. . .” I barely say since I’m being choked to freaking death.
Warren gets up and punches Cletus right into the face making him let go of me and pushes him back into a corner. I’m free now but I can barely breathe. On the bright side, we got him surrounded.
“Don’t worry about me, sistuh, I’m about to finish this right now,” he vows as he spits a tooth out.
He charges at us and tackles us both to the ground. He now is choking the both of us out. He has his left hand over my throat and his right over Warren’s. F*cking hillbillies, why are they so hard to kill? In a desperate attempt to save myself I give Cletus a kick to the head with my left foot and Warren does the same with his right. It looks like it’s working because Cletus’s grip is starting to loosen a bit. We keep kicking harder and harder alternating back and forth and see that it’s doing damage.
“Yous’ sons of b*tches. . .” he mumbles in-between head kicks.
His grip is definitely loosened now as I notice that I’m able to put more and more force behind my kicks. I glanced at Warren and instinctively we knew that we had to hit him at the same time to knock him out. We proceed to do so—and thank God, it worked. Cletus finally got knocked out and falls on top of us. Darn this a**hole is heavy but Warren and I push him off of us and get up.
“Uh oh. . . ” says the girl as she starts to run down the hallway.
“Quick, we gotta catch her!” Warren shouts but starts coughing since he hasn’t recovered from being choked. Actually, neither have I, but I don’t care as I start to run after her.
“DADDDDYYYY! DADDDYYY THE MEAT IS LOSE!” She screams running down the hallway.
Luckily, she’s small so she didn’t get very far. She is about to make a turn but I lower my shoulder and smash her into the wall. Do I feel bad that I just rammed a six year-old? Of course not—f*ck children. Especially evil inbred hillbilly slaver children. She’s definitely knocked out so I stop in an attempt to catch my breath. I feel awful. Running right after almost being choked to death is not something I ever want to experience again. My throat and lungs are in so much pain. That fight would have been a lot shorter had I been able to use my aura. I still can’t control it, but the inhuman strength and reflexes would have helped big time. I proceed to slowly walk back where I came from and see Warren with the keys letting Adam out of his cell.
“Well, that was an experience. We should avoid trying to get into any more fights till we destroy the inhibitor huh?” Warren jokes but proceeds to cough some more.
I nod my head in agreement. It was hard for the two of us to take one of these freaks down. I can only imagine what would happen if we had to fight more than one.
“You guys are insane. You both almost died. I felt so helpless. . .” Adam meekly speaks.
“Yeah, you were pretty useless—no doubt about that. You can repay us with some of that healing magic though, once we destroy the statue inhibitor thing. Come guys, let’s go.” I tell them.
We make our way to the end of the hall and make the turn that I prevented the little girl from making. Adam sees the girl on the floor and looks horrified and is about to say something, but Warren stops him. We keep walking and see that we’re at a spiral staircase. It appears that we’re not at the basement level as the stairs also go downwards. I look up and see that this tower must be tall as I can barely see the ceiling. We are definitely near the bottom though as I look down and see that the bottom is a lot closer.
“If these guys are smart, they would have done what I guessed earlier and put the inhibitor on the top floor. It might be guarded as well so we’re going to have to somehow sneak our way in.” Warren tells the both of us.
“Hey guys I think someone should stay back here and watch over the people we knocked out. You know in case they wake up we have someone here to stop them from ringing the alarm. I think I should stay here while you guys go on ahead.” Adam suggests.
I know what he’s trying to do and I’m not going to let it slide. I won’t let him coward his way out of helping us.
"Ah, hell nah, you coming with. We’re all going together. In fact, you’re going first now.” I tell him.
“B-but please don’t. I don’t wanna diieeeeeee. I’m so scared I wanna go home.” he pleads.
“Adam, listen to me, the only way we can go home is if we get out of here. Just stay right behind me. I’ll protect you. Go on ahead, Quincy. You know if he goes first he’ll probably pass out due to fear.” Warren states.
As much as I want Adam to man up here and now, Warren is right. Great, now I’m going first though, dang it. I proceed to walk up the stairs with Warren and Adam following behind me and as we go up I hear what’s happening on each floor. We pass one door where we hear a bunch of people chatting and I smell food so I guess that’s the dining hall. Darn there really must be a lot of them if they need one. We keep going up and on another floor we hear swords clanging and people grunting so I guess that’s the training floor. The more I learn about this dumb family the more it worries me. I wasn’t expecting them to be so organized. We go up a few more floors and eventually we see a door with a blue light emanating from it.
“Hey, Warren you think that’s where the thing is held?” I whisper to him.
“How can that be it? The floor isn’t nearly high enough.” Adam whispers.
“Adam is right, but I think we should check it out. Everyone, just stay low and move slowly.” Warren instructs us.
I proceed to slowly open the door and exit the staircase. I see that we’re in a dark hallway and see a door open with a bright blue light coming out of it. I slowly inch my way towards it with the guys behind me and peek my head in. There’s a freaking huge fat guy in overalls sitting in a chair. This guy must be like 8 feet tall this man is an absolute unit. He has a bald head and a thick black beard and moustache. He’s sitting at a huge table and across from him is a guy who kinda reminds me of Guts from Berserk. He has on this black armor with a bunch of edges on it. He has slick black hair like he’s put way too much hair gel into it. For his face, he has an eyepatch over his right eye with a scar going diagonally across his meaning he definitely didn’t lose that eye from natural causes. He also has two huge, black, swords on his back. The room itself is pretty empty besides the huge table except with some drapes in the background making me think this is some sort of meeting room. I also see a glowing statue on the table. Hooray we found it. But oh no since these guys look like they can totally kick our a*ses.
“What do you see?” Adam asks me.
“Shhhh,” I hiss to him as I continue to observe.
“How’s the inhibitor working for you?” The man with the eyepatch in a super silky voice.
“Hehehehehe this baby works wonders. If only it wasn’t so da*n bright. But, besides that, I love this thang. It’s been so easy to move the meat since they can’t do anythang. Take for instance, some of them fancy adventurers we caught recently. Heards they was trying to capture me if you can believe that. Caught ’em at night and moved ’em into the cells and they couldn’t do a thang it was great. It was so easy to move ’em and have fun with ’em. You know how children are with them urges and what not. I told them they can have their fun but to always keep having children within the family. Anyway, my job got so much easier since we entered our partnership. Speaking of our partnership, how’s them slaves doin?. They helping with your rebellion thang?” he asks.
“They’ve been a great help. Very useful in helping us accomplish our goals. Soon, we’ll have enough strength to kill Creon and take over Ayana. After some time, we’ll destroy the other lords as well. Once we’re done with them, we’ll go after the emperor. I look forward to killing him myself for what he’s done. Therefore, our partnership will continue for quite awhile--for all that will take time.”
“Oh, oh, I’ve been wondering. I heard y’all got demons is that true? Everybody is talking about it.”
“I won’t confirm or deny, for it’s not your place to know. Just keep doing what you’re doing now and all will be fine.”
“Ah, you stingy. You could tell me it’s not like I’m going to go around telling folks. Maybe you can at least answer this. You heard about them lords summoning their hero, right? In that magical quake? You scared that hero is going to come cut you down?”
" I’ve seen the boy, he’s not a threat. We’ve been watching him since he arrived in this world. If he does become a hindrance, we have our own hero to deal with him.”
“Ooh y’all so mysterious. Well, ok, keep ya secrets.”
“It looks like it’s time for me to go. I’ll see you again next week. By the way, you have some guests in the hallway. You might want to deal with that.” He warns.
The eyepatch man proceeds to open a portal with his hand and walks through. The f*ck, I thought no one could use their magic or aura with that statue thing being active? Guess I’ll have to learn about that later because--HOLY S*IT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT US.
“Huh? What he on about? I ain’t got no guests,” he mumbles as he picks up and examines the statue.
OK, this is good. He’s too stupid to understand that the scary eyepatch man was trying to warn him. Maybe we can just hide somewhere to wait until he leaves. Or, if he takes the statue with him just follow until he puts it down.
“HE KNOWS WE’RE HERE! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?” screams Adam behind us.
It’s official. I hate Adam. Warren and I both turn around with a look of disbelief on our faces.
"What in tarnation was that? Who in the hallway? Cletus, that you, boy?” The fat man calls out.
I look at Warren and we both knew what we had to do. We were going to have to rush into the room and destroy the statue. Probably die in the process.
“Ok, now!” I scream as Warren and I both rush into the room.
I run straight for the table and leap onto it to grab the statue. I pick it up, run to the other side of the room.
“Hey, what in tarnation are you doing dark meat?! Don’t you destroy my thang” he commands me.
He was too busy focusing on me to notice Warren right in front of him, who proceeded to give him a punch to the gut. I take the statue of the little god boy in my hands and throw it against the wall destroying it. Hooray we did the easy part. Now we just have to survive.
“Oh, I see what y’all doing. You’re gonna pay for destroying my thang, boy, I liked it,” he says as he picks up Warren with a single hand and starts to squeeze him.
I was expecting Warren’s punch to do a little damage but it’s like the guy didn’t even feel it. Curse fat men, they have extra armour. Now that the statue is destroyed I feel a surge of energy flowing through my body and I see that my aura is back. Huzzah, it’s time to kick some a**. I run up to the big man and lower myself as much as I can. I give the hardest right uppercut I could muster into the big man’s balls.
“OH GODS AND GODDESS--YOU BROKE MY BALLS, BOOYYYY!” He screams as he lets go of Warren to grab his nuts, falling to the ground.
Warren and I run out of the room into the hallway, noticing that Adam is missing. Well we thought he was missing till we turned to our right and saw him running down the hallway screaming and flailing his arms as about a dozen rednecks armed with clubs and swords chased him.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Adams yells as he runs right past us.
I turn around and see Adam running towards the spiral staircase making his way up it. I have no idea where he’s going and I bet neither does he. Warren and I attempt to run after Adam but each of us gets tackled by a few rednecks. I’m on the ground with my arms up blocking kicks and Warren is doing the same. I’m not feeling any pain though as this aura is protecting me and these guys’ attacks pale in comparison to the butt kicking Armstrong gave me (yes, I eventually learned his name and yes it was from a book). I start to get up while being kicked and hit with clubs. I punch one redneck on my left with a jab, knocking him out immediately. The other four guys wailing on me back up in disbelief, looking at each other. Yeah, they know they’re dead. I get into my boxing stance, jumping in front of one to give him a jab straight into his mouth. I felt his teeth being knocked out but I barely used any force. He falls to the ground and starts to choke. Ha, he must be choking on his own teeth. The redneck next to him lunges at me with a club but I grab his wrist and squeeze it as hard as I can.
“AHHHH!” he screams as he drops down to the ground in pain.
I give him a kick to the face which makes him fly down the hallway. The other two guys attack me at the same time with their clubs. I gave one on my right a right hook and the one on my left a left hook and they’re knocked out. I turn to see if Warren needs my help but he can take care of himself. He grabs the foot of one of the rednecks and yanks it which makes him fall and drop his sword. Warren picks up the sword and starts slashing the legs of the rednecks around him. Two of them fall to the ground in pain while another two jump back in the knick of time to prevent themselves from being slashed. Warren springs up and immediately impales one of them with his sword. He takes his sword out as the final redneck charges him. He parries the redneck’s attack to give him a horizontal slash across the neck. I would have helped but it all happened so fast and I probably would have just gotten in the way. I hear the moans of the ones still alive and I see Warren kill the rest of them by impaling each one with his sword. Whelp, I’ve seen a lot more murder that I ever thought I would see. I’m not going to say anything either because this guy has been through hell and these guys deserve it.
“Ok let’s go find Adam.” Warren states.
We both run back to the staircase expecting to run up a bunch of stairs to figure out which floor Adam hid himself on but it turns out he’s just a few steps above us whimpering.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I saw a light coming from one of the other doors and I went to go see what it was and it was a crowded bathroom. Then everyone started chasing me and WARREN I’M SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME!” he pleads to Warren, trying to wipe some snot off his face.
“It’s ok Adam, it’s ok. Let’s just get out of here alright?”
Adam nods in agreement when all of a sudden the whole tower started to shake. I hear some faint screams coming from the lower floors.
“Ugh what was that?” I ask.
“That must be Nerva! Yes, she’s alive!” Warren claims excitedly.
“Should we go down there?”
“No, it’s better to let her do her thing. We need to get out of here before she blows the whole tower up.”
“Ok let’s make a hole. I know we’re pretty high up but with my aura we should be fine if you both climb onto me” I tell them.
I punch a hole into a nearby wall and we are in the middle of nowhere as I see nothing but forest for miles. I look at the ground and see a clearing with a bunch of tents near the base of the tower. I also see a hay bale at the bottom. That’s good that means I don’t have to carry both of these guys. Come to think of it that probably would not have worked since they’re both about the same height as me.
“Um, you sure we can’t just walk our way down?” Adam asks.
I shake my head, throwing him out the hole. He screams the entire time he falls and lands safely into the hay bale. He gets out of it looking very dazed. I would say I felt bad about that, but I don’t. We’re not even that high up. We’re like seven floors above the ground. Ok, maybe that is high up, but eh. Warren and I both jump down to the hay bale with all going according to plan. The plan being to not die. We both exit the hay bale and great now I have hay all over me. When I get back to my room I am definitely taking a shower. We start to walk away from the tower until we heard the ground rumble again.
“We better take cover now!” Warren intructs as he runs to hide behind a tree with Adam and I following.
The tower freaking blows up in a huge explosion with a bunch of debris falling all over the place.
“AHHHHHHHH,” screams Adam as a piece of debris lands right next to him.
A bunch of dirt covers everything and it becomes hard to see anything. After a few minutes the dirt starts to clear up allowing me to see a figure in the distance.
“THAT’S ALL YA MOTHERFUCKIN’ HILLBILLIES GOT!? WHERE THE REST OF YA FUCKERS AT?” the figure yelled.
I get a closer look and I see that it’s a girl. She has red hair in short twin tails. The tips of her tails however are orange like that of a flame. For her clothes she has on skinny dark red silk pants with black boots. Her top is a long sleeve red silk shirt with some armor on. She has on a silver breastplate and silver wrist guards. Her eyes are also orange like fire. At the base of her feet is one of the rednecks coughing up blood.
“W-what are you? Y-you freak of nature. . .” he growls as he spits blood at her.
“I’M JUST A BADASS BITCH, YOU INBRED, MOTHERFUCKIN, PIECE-OF-SHIT!” she curses as the palm of her hand starts to glow orange.
She puts her palm onto the redneck’s head, making him scream in agony.
“AHHHHHHHH!” he yells before dying..
This is a very angry child. I can only imagine what her blood pressure is like. She also has a potty mouth. No, scratch that, she has diarrhea mouth. I think I’ve found worst girl.
“Nerva! I knew it was you!” Warren calls out as he runs up to her.
“Warren did you think I would fuckin’ die to these fucks? You know me better than that. Hey Adam is that you, you bitch?” she calls out to Adam who this whole time has been trying to hide behind a tree.
“H-hey Nerva. If you don’t mind I’m staying back here. You know so dirt won’t get in my lungs. It’s bad for them, you know.” Adam timidly replies.
“You still a bitch, ain’t you, Adam? Now who the fuck is that?” she questions, pointing at me.
“Um, I’m Quincy. I helped you escape. I’m the reason you were able to use your abilities again.” I say.
The girl runs up to me, sizing me up. She’s looking at me from head to toe I think in an attempt to see if I’m lying.
“He’s cool, Nerva. He really did help. He destroyed the inhibitor. He was summoned during the magical quake.” Warren explains.
“This motherfucker the hero?” she asks still eyeing me.
“Kinda? It’s a long story.” I tell her.
Now that she’s right in front of me I see that she’s really short. She must only be like 5′1 if I had to make an estimate. She would not look threatening at all if I hadn’t seen her blow up a tower and burn a guy’s head with her hand.
“Alright, then, if Warren likes ya then you alright with me. Just don’t be a bitch,” she commands.
“Yeah don’t worry about that, I ain’t an Adam.” I assure her.
“. . . . Hey, that’s mean” Adam says still behind his tree.
We were about to start walking our way out of there when we started hearing some debris being moved. We all turn around and see Daddy Murphee emerging from the rubble looking unscathed. Then from the trees came a bunch more of the inbred rednecks. Oh great, now we’re surrounded.
“ALRIGHT, YOU FUCKS STILL ALIVE. COME ON THEN, MY OVARIES ARE BIGGER THAN YOUR BALLS, BITCHES” Nerva yells as she grabs her groin for emphasis.
This child scares me. Some of them start running towards us and the first thing Adam does is pass out due to fear. Gee, thanks, Adam—that was just what we needed. Warren has his sword at the ready and I get into my boxing stance but it looks like Nerva has got this.
“BURN, MOTHERFUCKERS! HELL GUN, GO,” she screams as she puts her glowing hands up.
Her hands became like a machine gun as a bunch of fireballs rapidly came out of her hands. She’s hitting rednecks left and right with them and the area definitely has a lot more fire than before, which is saying something, since the tower was on fire since it blew up. She doesn’t get all of them though, as a few of them get close and I give one a hard punch to the stomach dropping him instantly. I turn around and see one about to attack me when Warren ran to him and gave him a slice across the back. A few more come at us and we dispatch them with haste. After I gave a final kick to the head of a redneck I see that we somehow survived that. Wow, there are a lot of dead guys around us. Plus, the smell of burning flesh. I’m sad I’ve gotten used to it. During the entire fight, Daddy Murphee was just watching us with a big smile on his face. He slowly starts to walk toward us.
“Heheheheh, you meats really can fight! You took out like 20 of my grandchildren. I am definitely going to get a lot of money for y’all. Ya think since ya blew up my tower, that we done? Of course not. You ain’t even seen the whole family. My wife’s gonna be so mad once she returns with the rest of the young ones. They gonna want to take out their anger on ya. So I better capture ya real quick,” he says.
Ok this might be tough. Usually blowing up a building with someone in it kills them but I guess that’s not the case. Maybe I can hit him in the balls again. Just keep doing that over and over until he dies. That sounds like a plan. Well not a good one but a plan none the least.
“BRING IT, YOU FAT FUCK!” Nerva exclaims.
Well at least someone is looking forward to this fight. Warren and I just look at each other knowing that this is going to hurt.
Nerva starts to shoot fireballs at Daddy Murphee but the fire isn’t doing anything to him. It’s just bouncing off him like it never happened. He’s running towards us now. Why is he so fast!? Fat people are supposed to be slow—it’s only fair. Oh no, he’s coming towards me. I put up my arms to block as he rams me with his shoulder. I get knocked off my feet and roll into a nearby tree. Ow, looks like my aura isn’t helpful when fighting strong people. I get up quickly, but I’m dazed. I look ahead and see Warren with his sword attempt to cut Murphee’s leg but it doesn’t cut through. Murphee just laughs as he gives Warren a punch which sends him flying in another direction. He turns his attention towards Nerva who’s been firing fireballs at him this whole time. He laughs as he slowly walks towards her.
“OK, YOU WANNA GET SERIOUS? LET’S GET SERIOUS, YOU UGLY INBRED, MOTHERFUCKING, DISGUSTING, STUPID BASTARD” she yells as she puts her hand on the ground.
Suddenly a bunch of fire comes out of the dirt Murphee was standing on, enveloping him.
“HA, it tickles now!” he says just standing there, ignoring the flames.
He rushes out of the fire and smacks Nerva with his palm which sends her flying past me down a hill.
“FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” she yells as she rolls her way down the hill behind me.
Whelp, we lost Nerva. Her curses are becoming more and more faint. I’m also about to die now. Murphee is now right in front of me.
“You know, dark meat you didn’t do that bad. I haven’t had fun like this in a long time. Now, it’s time to get ya back to yer cage. You won’t be doing this again,” he tells me.
He raises his foot to stomp me into the tree I’m leaning on but stops midway.
“Huh? Now what do we have here?” he asks as he puts his foot down to examine an arrow that is now in his shoulder. I look at it and there’s this weird piece of paper on the back of it. The arrow quickly explodes.
“AH, WHAT?!” Murphess yells as he reels back in pain.
He proceeds to jump backwards from me giving me time to move to a different position. I run to my right to give myself space.
“You fiend! You dare attack my friend!? You shall perish!” says a voice that I haven’t heard in awhile.
I turn around, seeing that it’s LUTHER. OH MY GOD, I’VE MISSED YOU.
“Kaneki! My friend! I’ve finally found you! I’ve seen you become a man of faith!” he says referring to my monk outfit.
“Luther, it’s been so long. I’ve missed you and no I’m not a monk it’s a long story.” I say with tears in my eyes.
“I look forward to you telling me it then. For now, I have a fiend to deal with. You there! The man with the fat! You’re Mr. Murphee, I presume?” Luther inquires, walking toward him as he slowly unsheathes his samurai sword.
“Who the hell are you? You some sort of joke of a knight? Also you fat too, ya bastard!” Murphee scowls as he wipes his eyes.
He must still be recovering from that arrow. It must have been powerful since that hurt him but a building exploding didn’t.
“No, you are mistaken. I am the peak of physical condition. Do you not know who I am, fiend? I AM IMPERIAL KNIGHT LUTHER. I have three girlfriends. All like sex. One of them is here as well to defeat you!” he proclaims.
I think Luther has ruined the life of another woman since I’ve last seen him. I don’t care though, I’m in awe. I love this as opposed to when I saw him for the first time.
“He’s lying! I’m not with him. I don’t even remotely like him. Barely tolerate him for that matter” Marianne corrects as she comes out of the woods from behind me.
“My queen! We are in battle. You should be wearing your beautiful helmet” Luther lectures.
“I told you to stop calling me that! I also told you that thing ruins my vision.” she responds, getting next to Luther.
They are now staring down Murphee who is looking extremely angry.
“Seth Murphee! The emperor has put a death warrant on you. Accept your fate, quietly.” Marianne commanded.
“Heh, the emperor really wants to kill little ol’ me? That makes me blush. And they sent the poster girl of the Imperial Knights? I was mad at first, but now I’m looking forward to selling you all. You gonna earn me a lot of money, pretty poster girl” Murphee threatens.
“You dare to sell my love Marianne!? You fiend! You shall perish!” Luther exclaims.
I don’t think I should interfere with this. Mostly because my body is in pain and because it’s clear that I am no match for this guy. Luther lifts up his sword in preparation to fight and Marianne takes the giant lance off of her back. Dang she’s strong. She’s carrying that thing with one hand. It looks like Murphee was about to charge them but then everyone stopped as they heard Nerva come sprinting in next to me out of breath
“I. AIN’T DONE. WITH. YOU. YET, MOTHERFUCKER. LET’S GO. ROUND FUCKNG TWO,” she finally says after breathing heavily in between each word.
“Heh, the more the merrier” He replies, proceeding to clap his hands.
The clap of his hands causes a huge gust of wind to be flown in our direction. I get pushed back hard into another tree and Nerva got sent down the hill again.
“FUCK, NOT AGAIN, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK,” she yells again rolling down the hill.
I wipe my eyes and look forward, seeing that Luther and Marianne haven’t moved an inch. Jesus, how strong are they? Maybe I will become a knight since they’re tough as nails.
“What? How are you two still standing!?” Murphee angrily questions.
“You fiend, stop messing around and fight us seriously!” Luther commands.
“That was serious, you bastards. Ok, then, I’m crushing you both with my bare hands!” Murphee says as he starts running towards them.
He is lowering his shoulder the same way he did when he attacked me. Luther jumps in front of Marianne and lowers his own shoulder. Murphee hits him dead on but Luther doesn’t move an inch. Murphee is stopped dead in his tracks, grabbing his shoulder in pain. Marianne jumps up, giving a horizontal strike to Murphee’s head with her lance, sending him rolling a dozen feet to the left.
“YOU BITCH!” Murphee screams, getting up with blood coming down the left side of his head.
“YOU FIEND, YOU NEVER CALL A WOMAN THAT! DEMON BLADE FOURTH CONFIGURATION!” Luther cries as he rushes Murphee with his sword. His sword lights up on fire as Luther gives him a slash across the gut. Murphee looks at his stomach as a lot of blood seeps out of the deep wound. Murphee tries to punch Luther but Luther bounces back. Marianne rushes in a blur and rams him with her shoulder. He rolls back a few feet.
“H-how is a little knight like you so strong?! I’m the strongest!” He asks in disbelief.
“I have an affinity for air if you really want to know. I remove the air surrounding my body which lowers air resistance. It allows me to move at incredible speeds and allows me to hit a lot harder.” Marianne explains.
“And, I exercise." Luther adds.
Luther never change. You are one of my favorite people now. I forgive you for abandoning me.
“Ok, let’s end this. Anastasia Ganiadi Theano Remeli now!” Marianna shouts.
Ice started to sprout from the ground, enveloping Murphee. It covered his legs first and he attempts to break it by punching it but it’s no use. An explosive arrow then comes out of nowhere and blows off his arm. Another appears and blows off his other arm.
“No! No! This is not how I should end! To die in this way?. Not to see my sister ever again!? Nooooo!—” he cries as his body slowly becomes completely covered in ice. Marianne aims her lance like a spear, chucking it at him which shatters Murphee into a dozen pieces. That’s the end of him, I guess. Jesus, this was a horrible adventure. I sigh in relief as Marianne and Luther both walk up to me.
“Second hero? Why are you here? You have to start your training in the morning.” Marianne questions me.
“Ugh, it’s a strange story. Will kinda sent me here through a portal. Also you can just call me Quincy”. I explain
“My friend, you must be confused. You are Kaneki” Luther tells me.
“Ugh, about that, Luther—I lied. I didn’t know if I could trust you, so I used a fake name.” I tell him.
“My word!? How could you not trust me, my friend?”
“It’s ok I definitely see why you did that” Marianne interposed.
“Wait! My friend is the second hero? That’s amazing! I never knew my dear friend is a warrior!” Luther cheers, giving me a hug.
I’m just gonna accept this hug. I’ve been through a lot today.
“Hey guys, we’re clear. You can come out now. It looks like most of the Murphee brood is dead” Marianne calls out.
Out of the tree where the arrows came from drops down a man in a light set of green leather armour. He has a bow with a bunch of arrows on his back sporting a green hood He reminds me of Green Arrow actually. Except for the long fancy blonde hair he has.
“I’m glad all the filth is dead. These creatures disgust me. Just look at them. Covered in dirt and what now. Who is this by the way? He looks like a peasant. Don’t you dare get any of your dirt on me, scum!” he orders me in a fancy aristocratic accent.
I was about to go off on this guy but Marianne goes to his side while he’s looking at me and throws some dirt on him.
“Hey Ricon. You got some dirt on you” she informs him.
“Hmm? Where?” he asks as he looks to his side, seeing the dirt on his clothes
“AHHHHHHHHHHH” he screams, taking out a knife to cut off all the clothing that had any dirt on it.
After he cut it all off he’s now missing huge chunks of his clothes which now makes him look stupid. The guy hates dirt got it. I start to laugh at how he looks when I see that knight who froze me when I first entered Colonus appear. I did not miss her at all. I still have nightmares of her not blinking at me and the social awkwardness she has caused.
“Do not laugh at me Anastasia Ganiadi Theano Remeli” Ricon orders.
“.....” she responds.
“You’re laughing on the inside aren’t you?”
"How dare you."
“Nonsense. You look great, my friend!” Luther interrupts, trying to pat Ricon on the back.
“Luther, don’t touch me.” He growls.
Oh shoot, I forgot about Warren. Is he still alive? He better be, we fought an inbred hillbilly together—that makes us friends. I run to where I think Murphee threw him seeing him unconscious next to a rock. He must have hit his head on it when he was knocked over here. I slap him across the face to wake him up. It didn’t work. I slap him again. I did this about three more times until he finally woke up.
“Ugh, what happened?” he asks as I help him up.
“Well, we won. Kinda. We got saved by those imperial knights over there,” I inform him, pointing to where the knights are. From here they look so incompetent. Luther is chasing Ricon trying to give him a hug. Marianne is just talking to the ice girl as the latter refuses to blink.
“No wonder we survived. What happened to Adam and Nerva?” Warren asks.
“Nerva is mostly likely running back here after being thrown down the hill a second time. Adam is still knocked out” I inform him.
We walk over to Adam and I work my magic again. I slap him. He only needed one though as he jumps up.
“W-what happened? We’re not dead? How are we not dead?” He asks in shock.
Warren and I point to the knights.
“Hey Adam, you mind, ugh, healing us? I think there’s blood coming down the back of my head” Warren requests.
“WARREN OH NO. IT’S OK, I’LL SAVE YOU. DON’T DIE!” Adam screams.
He goes on to heal us both by shooting a green light from his hand. It’s amazing, I don’t feel any pain at all. It’s just like when I woke up in the hospital but this time I can feel myself healing in real time. Warren and I head back to the knights when we see Nerva come run in from the woods again. She is more exhausted than before.
“OK. MOTHERFUCKER. ROUND 3. LET’S. GO. . . !” She yells but is on her knees making her not look threatening at all.
I gotta say, this girl doesn’t give up. She looks up, noticing everyone staring at her.
“Where the inbred-fuck go?” she asks everyone.
“It’s ok, Nerva, we won. Well, the knights saved us but yeah we’re alive,” Warren informs her.
“We didn’t need help, I could have fucking handled it,” she tells everyone. She then eyes the ice girl specifically.
“Sis? The fuck you doing here?” she questions.
The ice girl approaches Nerva, stares. She tries to hug Nerva but she pushes her away.
“Get the fuck off me, I’m fine. Don’t think you saved me, bitch—cause you didn’t.”
“I’m fucking fine, don’t worry about it, I barely broke a sweat”
“I SAID IM FUCKING FINE.”
“SIS. BACK OFF, I’M ALL FUCKING RIGHT.”
“FUCK YOU” Nerva squawks, walking away from her, getting next to Warren.
“Oh, so that is your sister, Anastasia Ganiadi Theano Remeli? What a nice young lady,” Luther compliments.
“Ok, now that we got everyone—do you mind taking us home? It’s getting kinda late” I ask all the knights.
It’s sunset outside now so my horrible adventure lasted for a few hours since I think Will transported me around noon.
“Of course my friend. We are about half a day’s journey from Colonus. Come on, all we shall take your friends as well, since our job is done. ″ Luther tells me, walking into the woods.
We all follow him except for Ricon who is jumping tree from tree. He said something about not wanting our filth to get onto him or something. We follow Luther through the woods where we eventually find a road with four horses waiting for us. These must be the knights’ horses.
“Hey Luther. How come you don’t just use a portal?” I ask him as the knights mount their steeds.
“You see, my friend, it’s because making a portal anywhere you want involves a lot of magic and only those especially trained can summon them in far off places. None of the standard imperial magicians are that strong. We also didn’t know where exactly the fiends were located. We were searching in the woods for quite some time till we heard a huge explosion and saw some fire. We started running towards it and found you.“. He explains.
I guess Will is powerful then because he did it without even trying. I don’t even know why he did it, the butthole. Maybe he knew I was going to rant to him or something. I look at Luther’s horse and it’s a huge buff black one with black horse armor on so it’s fitting I suppose. The rest of the horses also match with their respective knights. Marianne’s and the ice girl’s horses were white, Ricon’s was brown but had green armour.
“Ok people since there are four of us and four of you just jump on a knight’s horse and hold on” Marianne instructs us.
“Guys. Please, please, let me go with Marianne. She’s famous, and pretty. Plus, she’s pretty. Riding with her would be the best thing that happened to me today. Today was horrible, might I add.” Adam begs, pulling all of us aside into a group huddle.
“I don’t really care, what about you guys?” I ask Nerva and Warren.
“Yeah, I don’t care either, I just want to go home,” says Warren.
“You perverted fuck,” Nerva adds.
“H-hey, that’s not the case. Can’t a guy just feel the embrace of a pretty girl as a reward for surviving the worst experience ever?” Adam argues.
“Embrace you say? Do not worry young lady you can ride and embrace with me!” says Luther.
Wait, when did he enter our huddle the hell?
“...I’m not a lady” Adam replies.
“You are right. You are a queen” Luther compliments.
“It doesn’t matter who’s paired up with me because they are not getting on my horse with all their dirt. They are walking.” Ricon elucidates.
When did he get into our huddle?
“Guys, can we go? It’s getting late” Marianne remarks.
“How the fuck you all keep sneaking up on us in our huddle?” Nerva questions.
“....” says the ice girl who was there too.
Ok after that weird debacle we ended up with Adam being paired with Luther, Nerva being paired with her sister, Warren being forced to walk next to Ricon, and I was paired with Marianne. As we rode our way out of the forest I learned a little bit more about this weird party that’s been assembled. As we ride I notice Marianne is reading a book she took out of one of her bags. I might as well ask about it since books are the only things I like about this world.
“So, ugh, what’s that book you’re reading?” I ask as we ride out the forest.
“Huh? Oh it’s nothing. It’s just a...you know an adventure novel,” she states.
“Ha. That’s a funny way of saying romance novel” Ricon chuckles, riding up next to us. Poor Warren is still being forced to walk.
“I-It’s not a romance novel. There’s no way the mascot of the imperial knights would read such a girly thing. It’s got plenty of action and suspense” she argues.
“What’s it about?” I ask.
“It’s about a girl who you know finds a vampire attractive. The vampire likes her back but then a werewolf comes and he also likes her. So now the vampires and wolves are at war. You know romance barely shows up, it’s like a minor plot point,” she explains.
This girl is reading this universe’s version of Twilight isn’t she? She’s a horrible liar. Romance is the main draw. Which was horrible I’m glad I never read Twilight but unfortunately my mom was into it—so I know what happens.
“Yeah I heard about that story, it fuckin’ sucks,” Nerva comments from behind us.
“TAKE THAT BACK!” screams Marianne
“. . . Geez, bitch, calm down.” Nerva responds.
“It’s ok, my love, I like that story. What about you, Anastasia Ganiadi Theano Remeli?” Luther asks.
“Luther, if you call me your love again I’m putting you in another coma.” Marianne threatens.
“Um, changing the subject why do you call the ice girl by that long name? Why not just call her Anastasia?” I ask everyone.
“Because that’s her name, you peasant. When addressing aristocracy, you should pronounce the name in full, it’s a sign of respect and reminds people who’s on top.” Ricon tells me.
Whelp, if I ever see Ricon again I’m throwing dirt at him. But, right now, I’m too tired to care. I guess it’s a dumb cultural custom.
“Well I’m not saying that so I’m just gonna call her Ice Cube. You ok with that, Ice Cube?”
“. . .”
“See? She likes it.”
Not much happened for the rest of the journey back. When it became night, the knights set up camp and nothing extraordinary happened. Luther kept hitting on Adam because he still thought he was a girl—which was hilarious. Nerva kept cursing about stuff and Warren was surprisingly quiet. But besides that, we all went to sleep quickly due to the horrible day we had. In the morning, we head off and we eventually reached Colonus. Luther tells me that the knights have to fill out some paperwork—leaving us behind as the rest of us enter the city.
“...I am never leaving Colonus, scratch that—my room again.” Adam claims as we walk our way through the plaza that I wrecked not too long ago.
“Well, guys, I guess we gotta head back to Dragon’s Descent, huh? Can’t wait to get either demoted or kicked out.” Warren says, looking at Nerva and Adam.
Warren has been extremely reserved ever since we left the forest. He obviously has a lot on his mind. I wish I could help but after this I’m probably never going to see these guys again. Which is probably for the best. Also I don’t want to hear all that sad emotional stuff.
“Quincy, it was nice meeting you man. Wish we could have met under better circumstances” Warren says to me.
“Yeah definitely it was nice meeting you guys. Except you, Adam. Let’s just be glad we never have to do that ever again.” I comment, shaking his hand.
We turn our separate ways as they head off to Dragon’s Descent while I head towards the castle. I head through a portal to get there, fall again, see I’m right in front of the castle. Will is walking with Armstrong, shoot—I forgot training for the both of us starts today. It’s morning too so they must not have started yet. I ran towards Will, immediately punched him in the face.
“Ow! Quincy what was that for? Where have you been anyway?” he complains, holding onto his aw
“Will, you put me through so much. I’ll tell you about it later. Just know, you are also going to have to listen to me ramble about history as punishment.”
“It must have been bad then”
“Hah. If you two are done who’s ready to start some training?” Armstrong asks.
Great, I guess we’re training now. That’s fine ,I have a lot of anger I need to work off. Maybe I’ll have an excuse to hit Will again.
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