I scream inside me. No one hears me as always but every time, I do something wrong and everyone seems to care about that more than my own life. I do not understand this algorithm at all. It’s something I can’t even try understand because every time I try, I fail and that’s never enough even if i tried my best. Nah, it’ll never be and I’m used to that ,honestly.
My mother is the queen of this crappy country. Every city from here is in her clumsy hands. She always mess up and she puts the blame on me like she’s used to do. I don’t trust her not even whit a pair of shoes. No one ever tried to stand up in front her.
”It’s impossible!” that’s what they all say, but I do not believe that. She’s a human being like me, like all of us and the only thing that makes her different is that she’s the queen and needs respect, but the thing is where is my respect? Where is my power? I’m the princess, right? I should have at least 15% of the power. That’s not fair but I think i can handle it at least for now. My fetter’s are cut off ,one by one till I’m going to be just a useless little princess. I’m not going be a queen ,maybe in another life, when I’m going to be someone else then a poor unlovable girl that lives whit the most cruel people in a castle full of dumb guard’s. Casting spells? Yes. Are they working? Nope, at least not yet..
My father...well he’s in hell, or I hope so. He deserves that, after what he did to me, to my mind, my soul. Damn it! I need to stop thinking of that!
It’s destroying me even worse then I already am and believe my words that’s enough. I was always mistreated and underrated like a side character that is very...self-aware. I think that’s the perfect word. Always the side kick and no one can tell me otherwise. No. One.
There is a special event in 1 week. A royal party. In the honor of....me? How much of a surprise, but wait! There is a cruel reason then celebrating me. Ohhh and how cruel of them trying to control what I do and who the fuck i marry. Wait ...I need to marry a prince, as my mother told me, I hate that „rule” or what is that. An obligation? Maybe. I don’t need them and I will make it obvious soon enough, when they expect that less. When they’ll let they’re going to let the guard down and have faith in me. It’s pretty impossible but I still believe that some day it’ll happened. It will I wish I wouldn’t doubt it,but I can’t. I will always need to respect some stupid rules that no one likes. Not me. Not my...friends? The friends that I do not have, yeah that is pretty right. I am two faced. Nice and ~powerfull~ in the eyes of the crowd outside. A fool and a disgrace in the eyes of my own mother and my dead father, the dead king. This country lost a lot of things in the last 3 decades.
My cruel father was the first who breaked me, he had to be the first he couldn’t lose such a offer. Mhmmh. I’ve been alone since then, I can’t trust anyone anymore. It is extremely dangerous or maybe I’m just extremely paranoid.
A dress, a tiara full of pure diamonds, a pair of heals and of course the person that’s tortured. Me, more precise. I can decide what the hell I want to do, at least I try…but those boundaries are just…hard to ignore. I have another important event where I need to be by…3 pm and till there are less than 2 hours. I am ready for 15 minutes now and I am extremely bored.
-Dear? What the hell are you doing?!? Don’t you have WORK to do? asks my mother entering my bedroom whit an angry look on her face.
-I did all the work now let me rest, please!
-No, you don’t have time for that! Go study one of the maps your dad give you as the perfect present you’ll ever get! She sais exited.
I was already annoyed this was the only thing that was missing today. I swear! This woman is a headache, my brain cells are drained every day by her! I get up rolling my eyes. She sees it and I know it makes her very angry. Mh.
-You are so disrespectful! How dare you roll your eyes in front of me! After all I’ve done for you! Your such a disappointment child?!?! You. Are. The. One. Who. Always. Makes. Me. Angry! Why?!?
-I don’t choose for you to be angry, you’re the one who just yell and plays the victim ma’am- I say to her what I would not expect to say. Shit! My mind blows up the next second. Somebody please help! I wish I could scream that shit right now. Do I like this moment? Not even close.
-You won’t say something like that again or you are going to pay, whit a month of…~surprise~.
I know what she’s talking about, the only way she thinks I will behave and kiss her feet for mercy, that’s extremely wrong. Torture is not going to make me fall on my knees and make her feel like a goddess she is never going to have my part of respect, never. Not even if I we’re to die.
-Why not? I say without wanting to. What the hell is happening today?!? Truth day?!
-If you say one more word…-
- What? I cover my mouth as fast as I can.
- Mhmm, you really want to fight me right now? Don’t you know the power I have?
My mother speaks and I feel like fire is getting out of her nose like a dragon.
-Y…- I am trying not to say anything and I fight whit my own body to shut up. It’s hard and I’m trying. Don’t say it! Don’t say it! I repeat in my head multiple times. I can’t. Get out! I want to say that but I cannot .The dragon, the star, the moon and the tree’s. This words are like a poem in my head.
What the hell! This is not something normal…it’s just the fact that I just speak what I don’t want to, maybe…I could want to say something bad I would speak the correct thing. ~You filthy b-~
-Please get out…The words come out of my mouth like I didn’t plan but I did. I discovered the secret of this…spell. I’ve been weak for a long time and I wish I could everything I don’t want to. The things that piss her off. I just like it that way. I want to die or escape from here. There is no third option .I don’t want to be a free fool then a imprisoned wife that is used for nothing then they’re own ~safety~. For money? For power! That’s still not enough of course. I am not a toy but at least for now…I need to act like one. Like I will always be one, needs to be believable enough for me to not be a slave for the rest of my life.
All I want is freedom. Do I really ask for that much? Every night I just think of that, dream, but I wake up in this stupid palace. I love luxury but…I like freedom more.
-First of all…You will behave, I do not care what “problems” you have, is that clear? I think of the wrong answer
-Yes, my queen. I bow my head looking at my feet. Why did I do that ?That’s the most stupid thing I ever did in my whole life. A brize of air is dancing in my back. I am so annoyed for no reason. WHY?!?!For real now. I’m serious. I don’t have time for this stupid things. It’s like I’m high or poisond. Breathe .I say to myself.
-Leave her alone! GUARDS!!!I hear the queen screaming for help…but why? I don’t see anything wrong just her like a statue not screaming, not moving. My whole body is blocked by something, but I do not see it, some inexistent wall. For love’s sake!
-What now? The words do what I say now , I’m in control of my mouth. My body is still paralyzed . Huh? What? The room is like a tornado. I’m going to fall. I…I …I can’t stay on my…feet and..my breath is almost gone. I almost blackout and I fight…whit myself, like always. I giggle even if I think no one hears me.
I have my head hardly trying to wake my body up. Let’s see the good part, there is none. My eyes are slowly coming to normal I start to see something, but I still cant distingue anything. I feel like I’m moving.
-Hello, sunshine!I hear a deep voice. Someone is here and much likely to be a criminal or something like that. I stand up .
-Mhm, what…whe…where are we? I talk whit a tired voice.
-We? Already playing games, don’t you? The man says laughing .
-Just tell me, idiot. I say messing up my stupid plan.
-Idiot? Well if you think your that intelligent then say for yourself .He says like a child, an annoying one for sure.
-Uh, for the love of my mother ~ inexsistent I am just joking~ tell me already! I rather yell then say nicely .
-Oh come on, can you be nice for once? Maybe twice. He cries.
-Insanely jerk. No I won’t be nice, you just kidnapped me what the hell am I supposed to do? Be a “lady”?
-Are you kidding me?I yell.
-You are a jerk…uh.
A long moment of silence is between us.A tall,young man,forest green eyes,fluffy hair and loads of muscles .Does he needs to be quiet right now??I want to know where I am.I see trees ,mountins and we are on a boat.He does not move and we still going straight ahead.How?!?No one is doing anything and there is no mechanism.
-We are now in Greenishlands.Don’t come here alone or if you have a wish of death,and before you ask where we going,well it depends.Right or left?
-Luck?You really do what luck says?
-Yes.Now choose what you feel like choosing .
-Left.Now tell me what we’re the options ?
-Right was Misfoter and left,the destination is…The fairy lands,where you belong more specific.That’s not luck sweetie.That’s your lost home.
-Your real place where you truly belong.That castle was just a phase,I am truly sorry if it will be hard to forget that place but…
-It will not,that wasn’t a life,that was…hell on earth.
-Well I don’t know if you noticed but your not on earth anymore.Your on a lost planet.A magical one .Our home.Of course I’m just a traveler I get people here,where they belong.Not every time it’s perfect and maybe they don’t accept they’re own destiny and I take them back,where they want.I don’t force anyone into leaving a place they lived all life,but just you to know…or maybe not,someone has …a information to give you so…you don’t really have a choice,it won’t take more then 2 days if you want to get back.
-I don’t .
-You don’t what?
-I don’t want to go back.As I said before…that was hell on earth for me at least.I don’t want to see that monster again.I say.
-Which one?Your father or your mother?He asks sobbing .
-Why are you crying first of all,second of all none.I don’t wnt to see anyone anymore.I’m done whit them,I always wanted freedom and now I ..
-You have it now,but if you ever want to go back I’ll be at the barn drinking some eligent beer.
-What’s that?I ask him curiously .
-The most tasty drink you’ll ever try.
-Hmm sounds pretty good.
-Yes,it is.Tell me what do you wanna know about fairy lands till we get there?
-Well how exactly is it there?
-You’ll have more freedom them you will ever want.A little house or a mushroom one.Maybe a flower one.A palace?A cute garden.Maybe a zoo,loads of neighbors that are to sweet for this world and magical beings all over the place.
-Sounds like paradise.
-I never heard of it,not even in old storeys .It’s like it didn’t existed till now.
-No one knows on earth that we exist.They will,at some point,they think we are some aliens,but the only difference is that we are magical and they are not.We are pretty normal.The same like you but…we found our destiny.They didn’t .
-Aliens?More of humans think that is stupid.Other want to contact you,whit some sort of Sci-fi connection .Wirdos.
-WHAT?!?!He starts laughing hardly and loud.
-I don’t see the funny thing here.I just don’t .I explain to him whit my sweet voice.
-I do.He continues laughing .
I shut my mouth annoyed by his laugh.Again.I see land in front of my eyes a forest and a field of wheat.It’s beautiful …magnificent ,it’s like I’m dreaming.
-And..we are here.Welcome to the Fairy lands.
-I…this is…haven on…?What’s the planet name?
-Erafio.A weird name,but you’ll see why it’s named like that later.
-Long story.Long road.He says proudly.
-Well she’s gonna tell you that,all of it,when we get there.In the actually city.
-Wait a second!We are not in the actually fairy lands?
-Yes and no.There are villages and one big city,where the queen lives.
-She…is our salvacion.
-You seem disturbed …
-It’s nothing.He claimed .
I let him think in silence,cause maybe he’s gonna tell me at some point.I hope so,I don’t like lies either untelld secrets.I just don’t like them.It’s insupportable…eating my brain.I can say I’m starting a new life,a different one,I will have the freedom I always wanted if …oh I don’t know his name.
-What’s your name buddy?
-Jaled.And…~buddy~?Are you serious?
-No I meant jerk.
-It’s better ~buddy~.He says.
-Now you gaved me another proof that you’re a jerk of prime class.Everyone I met was cruel…you know.I never been treated as an equal…
-You we’re the princess I thought you…-
-I was,yes,but for them it was nothing.I was a useless princess.I say whit regret in my voice,subbing my tears away.
-Are you crying?he asks me concerned.
-No,I’m …I’m fine.I don’t cry I never cry.
-I think you do now…He comes closer looking at me whit a sad smile putting his hand on my cheek whipping a tear of,another.He hugs me tightly and whispering in my ear.
-Hey,it’s fine,it’s ok now.He’s rubbing my back trying to calm me down.I think it works.I don’t even remember when I ever get a hug from anyone…I hear his heartbeat.Pompping his blood.That heart beats faster and faster whit every second we stay hugged.I back off,whipping my tears till they won’t come out anymore.I take a deep breathe trying to calm my heartbeat that’s running like it’s some marathon.
-I’m so sorry,sorry.I say sorry multiple times being extremely energetic walking left and right like a crazy assassin.I was looking like I was going to kill him or kill myself till…he grabs my arm stoping me.Who tell him to do that .
-Stop.Calm down.You look like you’re going insane,did I do something ?He says calmer then me.Turns out I really am a problem for every human or alien being.
-No…it’s just….I-…I …cry…you-…never….get a ….hug….and…and..I.
-Shh…It’s fine.He hugs me again and saying.We have a long road.You can tell me what’s wrong,okay?Now we need to go.He wisphers in my ear kissing my forhead.I nod.What the hell just happened ?Am I not real.He did what?I want to…write something for no reson.
-Do you have a pen and a piece of paper?I ask Jaled.
-I don’t think so,but why?
-Well…no reson.I say anxious.
-Hmm.Okay.He just continues to walk like nothing happened.I feel something is wrong but I don’t get it.Did I do something stupid?Again?I just stay quiet and walk whit little steps.The smell of the field is just impossible to ignore.It’s a new smell,a calming one.I just wanna fall and sleep exactly right there in the middle of nowhere .We just got closer to the forest and I’m already feeling that this place is where I belong,he is right,at least for now.
It’s been a few hours and the field is endless but I realize we’re close,500 meters and we are there ,at the entrances of the forest.The energy that is transmited is extreamly obvious .I feel like I am falling in a trap,I really hope that what I feel is just a joke.I am just thinking stupid moments that sure won’t happened.
The tree’s are right in front of me now.We finally passed the wheat field and I think they’re two actually .It’s been to long for it to be just one.Jaled is looking at me whit the most disoriented look I ever saw.
-What?Is there something wrong?I ask him confused.
-Well…as you see the sun is fading away and it’ll be dark soon enough,we need to camp here.
-Oh…ofcourse.Can I help whit something?
-No,I mean you don’t have to,just stay here Aelin.How does he knows my name I have never mentioned it,or at least I don’t remember.
-How do..you know my name?I didn’t mentioned it.How?
-You we’re the princess and you have a name right?
-Everyone knows your name Aelin.He explains.
-No…no one knows.I was showed as Searra.Aelin is just a side name,they use it just when they’re angry,like it’s a bad thing.
-Uh…I …you…y-yo-you?Shit!He starts running.That can mean just one thing,he wasn’t who he said he is.Liar.I knew it,but why would he run??That’s the real question .From me?There is no chance.I was left alone.It’s not the first and surely not the last time when this is going to happened.Now I need to find that city by my own.Whitout a map or a rute.A fool on a dangerous road,but that is not to tell yet,but I’m gonna convince myself when I’m going to find out all the ark secrets of this mysterious planet.I feel the lies and the secrets flying in the air.I can’t stay here now that Jaled knows where I am.I need to find another place,in the forest maybe.
The trees are pretty tall and very colorful.Red,light pink,white,bright green.The flowers are all over the place.It’s like a cute little garden.I put my head on the soft grass taking a deep brathe.I need to cal down and found a way to get to the main city or at least one of the villages ,anything that could help me at least for one night.Even a little tent would be enough for now,at least.I grab my bag that I have in my back all the time.There is nothing but a candle,a stick out of nowhere and a simple bottle of water.I hope it’s enough till I found a place to spend the night.
My steps are silence in the dark and the only thing that it’s helping me see something is the moonlight.There is no other light,I don’t have anything to like the candle so I let it on the moon and the stars that are fully visible for me even if the tree’s are in my way.I am a philocalist,I love beauty,appreciate every little thing in this universe.
Stars are born in chaos so that makes me a star I suppose .They are born after they collapse ,a meteor is destroyed when he touches the surface but a star is surviving through though times or it’s reborn like nothing happened.A survivor that no one ever notice.A hero that is not taking the credit.A worrior that can lose a fight and win the war.Nothing is ever lost.We take it over and over again and we pass by and realize it wasn’t that bad.We survived to everything till…we can’t anymore ,the end of all.Someone is going to be upset about it,or maybe not,but what matters is that we always got up when we could and be brave enough to try again.Multiple times and sometimes we won,in some stupid way,a success whit a collapsed matter of time.Time passes like wind and never comes back in the same form.
I am in the middle of the woods and I think I am going to found something here.I start inspecting the area and I fell some kind of fog.It’s right touching my cheek whit a soft wind.As a kind of friend,not an enemy.It’s like all the forest knows who I am and what I’m looking for.I hear some rustling behind me and I jump scared.I don’t sceam like I expected.I feel for the first time that n one underestimates me.No one,I’m the definition of power right now.I don’t know why I feel that,but I do.My home?My place?I think I’m closer and closer whit every step of mine.It’s quiet,not even the wind is moveing.The tie stopped for a second.Relaxing.This feels are…calming.The rain is droping on my face forming tears of joy this time.For some reson I feel like I need blood.A pice of paper and a dagger appear in front of me.I take them readin the manuscript.
One drop of blood and the door is opend.That’s all it says.So if I understand.A drop of MY blood is going to open some door.I look at the dagger and cut the interior oof my hand open.The blood is not…red,but golden.What?I didn’t know that blood can have this color.Especially not mine.There is something different .I put my blood on the paper and a portal appears out of nowhere.The fog is now sunshine.The dark is transformed in sunlight.It warms my skin.I feel grass under my bare feet.A field,but wait.Cute little houses.Huge flowers whit doors and windows.Pepole live here?It’s like Jaled sayd.There are mushrooms,hobbit holes,this is a hole magic place like in the books I read a long time ago.It’s whole storyes in just one place.I’m breathless.Paridise on what planet this is.I see little creature’s jumping all over the place joyfull.Here is happiness ,true happiness.I don’t see anyone that’s not happy.NO.ONE. I look around,I don’t know this place,but I want to.This is my home from now on.The most beautiful I ever saw,this place is just incredible.