I'm mohamed yacoob, let's see my phases like a story. I'll start with the love phase, I've had a lot of loves starting with the school one, her name was
, she's more of a crush to me, a good friend, that lasted 3 yrs.
Then I changed my school, I came to chennai where I met Harini cute as doll, sweet as sugar, we had a good bond not that much talking. But we have always been close. My friend started loving her I didn't have the guts to purpose to her. I still feel butterflies in my stomach whenever I think of her. She's a singer, has a nightingale voice. I still remember a lot of moments about her. The best one is I gave her a rose that she accepted with the smile. That felt like something I've never felt before. The thought of giving the rose completely different yet that felt good. I still want to meet her and share my feelings about her. That went on and I came to college.
The best four years of my life, I'm an engineering graduate. There I met Gayathri a senior of mine, I didn't even knew her, I first saw her at my bus, that was a classic shot felt like I was in movie. I was at the back of the bus we had a lot of distance and the bus was much crowded. I just say her face, everything else got blurred. I was unconsciously smiling and not getting my eyes off of her. I was getting a background music and that felt like movie. I didn't understand whether that was love or crush but I genuinely felt something for her. I was a typical college student at that time so I did some awkward things to get her number. I used to wait for her in the break hours, I literally stalked her. My first text to her was 'I'm yacoob' she said 'I know' I replied ' I love you'. She was shocked and started advising me. Her most common thing to say to me was 'I'm older than you'. Yep..! She was older than me exactly 20 months older, I skipped that part and started of with my feelings for her. I knew that I'm getting something from her, but she refused to tell that. Days went by, that phase started to fade away, my mind said she was getting close to me but she's afraid of others, that didn't last long and we got split over a small issue and she never answered me. I still don't know whether she loved me or not.
I was so much fed with the love and I started ignoring myself from girls. Then she came, Annam... as the name she's too rare. I started seeing her as a to irritate my friend who had crush on her. As I was doing this often I felt something different in me, the way I saw her was so much different from above others. I realized that as the days pass by, I got her number, and I started texting, I had a thought she'd never knew me and she'll think of my friend as I text her but she surprised me, she knew that I'll text her and she was waiting. That really took me, I was confirming whether she knew me or not, her answer started to impress me. I don't wanna cheat myself by not accepting my love to her. We had a good flow and I kept that as it was, we traveled a lot together, I often discuss about our future together and that went so well. I believed that she was the one destined to me. That thought didn't last long I finished my college and came back to chennai to work here. I worked for about 8 months that duration changed a lot between us, it broke the bond between us, our time began to thin and gradually disappear. Like a strom it all went apart, she abandoned me and took off. I can't take that and I went to take her with me, that moment realized that we were never meant to be together. I asked her to come I literally begged her to be with, she did nothing but standing still with tears in her eye. At that instance all my dreams fade away and I can't say anything. I can't take the fact that she will no longer be mine and we are breaking apart. I can't do anything and got out of that place holding my tears back. On my way back home I no longer hold my tears and it just burst out. I was crying all the way and I'm angry that I can't do anything. Days went by she sorted out everything and I was so broken. At that time I needed someone to tell me that I'm okay, and its all going to be all right...! I couldn't find no one.
I was so desperately in need of a person to talk and a shoulder to cry on but none came. Then came the most needed person of my life, Atchaya... she was there when no one else was, she's been everything I've needed and that felt good. When you are so desperate and need of someone even a small smile from some person will change everything we've been facing right.?, that moment we built a strong friendship, I was there for her and she was there for me, I hope that in future too. She gave me a good vibe and I regaind my everything that left with my last. She became the reason for my smile, my happiness, my confidence, my daily routine. People around us can't understand us and that least bothered us. We had a great sync and we were like mirror, we never let that stop and carrying it. She is a colleague of mine, our relationship was not understood by them, that friendship was not between just the two people, its between about 7 to 8 people of same age group and we changed that sex barrier. That was not appreciated by our company they fired all of us over a silly reason. That really created a great impact on us. We people got split and that didn't break the bond between her and me. I used call her pops, paapu... that was her nickname no one except me and her family called her that. I was more like a family to her and she too for me. I met their family they were so sweet and didn't treat me as a stranger, I was so comfortable around them. Her mom even called as her own son, that affection and love took me off . Everything about her made me so happy, I didn't wanna spoil this relationship by involving love in this. I always wondered what this relationship means and what is the name of it. I've asked her many times but neither of us knew the answer it was something, and I felt so good. I don't wanna miss her and I gathered the confidence and I confessed that I was in love with her and really want to spend the rest with her. I asked her to marry me in her house with her mom around. Since we were mirror she already knew that I was going to say this. But there was small hesitation in both us, we overcame that and let the truth stay still. She's a great woman with so much courage, her way of approaching problems and her attitude towards others and me kept me falling for her again and again. I still love her and whenever I see her I still fall for her, I just wanna keep falling in love with her daily. Her everything completes me, I believe she's the one I wanna lie,when I'm in deathbed.
I just wanna say," I will always be with you paapu..."