Chapter 12: Before
Chapter 12: Before (Devon’s POV)
Over the past three years, it's become harder and harder to be with other women. For the last year, I haven't been able to stomach the touch of another woman or her touching me.
The problem is that I want to be with Izza, but I've screwed that up. After telling everyone that my mate died and that Izza is just nanny Nikki, I have no chance of ever having her back. I was just trying to put the mate thing on hold but I ended up destroying it. So now I live with the fact that porn and my hand barely get me hard. If I want a chubby, all I just have to watch Izza bend to put something in the oven though. I do better getting turned on by Izza and running to the bathroom to jerk off. I have a few girls that do live porn for me. I watch as they get off. They do it blindfolded and I pretend I'm watching my mate pleasure herself. It only works on rare occasions.
Jessica was last nights show. She had fallen asleep on the couch last night after her efforts. I didn't have the heart to wake her, as I was still sexually frustrated, so I let her spend the night. I generally try to get them out of here so that Izza doesn't have to see them. I stepped into the shower and daydream about my mate joining me in here. The fantasy isn't enough and I am still left unfullfilled. After a disappointing shower, I dried, dressed, and was getting ready to go down when I heard Jessica exit the room. Crap Izza is probably already making breakfast.
I caught up to her as she was heading into the kitchen. I heard Jax saying something about me working the guys hard and Izza asking if everything was okay. So as I entered the kitchen I responded, "Nothing to be worried about Nikki, just keeping the pack in shape." At the same time, Jessica stretched on her toes to kiss me goodbye. I internally cringe at the feel of her mouth on me, but bring no attention to it. It does upset me because it caused Izza to turn away.
Jessica grabbed some breakfast off of the counter, and said in a mocking tone, "Thanks for the breakfast Nanny Nikki." Izza growled after her, but Jessica was already gone.
I responded with my own growl. "That's uncalled for Nikki. What if she heard you. Your wolf is supposed to be gone" Izza knows better.
She looked like she was going to fight back, but she just said "Yes Alpha" then she put her head down on the kitchen island. Dex whined because we are continually hurting our mate.
I walked around the counter, put an arm around Izza, and whispered in her ear, "Sorry I do try to keep them from coming in contact with you." I squeezed her and was handed my breakfast plate. Grabbing the plate I walked over to sit at the table before her scent took me over. I sat at the head of the table that faced where she was standing. She was in a loose-fitting white tank top that showed a little more of her chest each time she bent forward. Dex and I enjoyed this. We enjoyed this a lot.
Jax mind-linked me telling me that Izza had a favor to ask of me, and I was intrigued. "Leave," I told him and Kelly. They finished their plates and scurried out quickly. I ate as they cleared their plates, but I was just biding my time until we were alone.
When I looked up I caught Izza eye-fucking me. "Like what you see Izza?"
"Ummm, no. I just had a question to ask you, but I wanted to let you eat first."
No. What does she mean no. "Come sit over here and tell me what's up," I said patting the chair next to me. But as she went to sit I grabbed her by the waist and sat her firmly in my lap. This is where she should be. It's where she would be, had I not been such a fuck up. "Seriously, you said no to liking what you see. I think you do. I know I like those short little shorts you sleep in. They make me want to do bad things to my mate." My cock twitched from having her so close, and she yelped and jumped up.
I wasn't having that and pulled her back in down. I nuzzled into her neck filling my nose with her scent. She moaned back in response. I couldn't help myself I ran my hands up her body and found my way to her chest. No bra and hard nipples. I almost came in my pants then. I sucked hard on her mark to heighten her need. I knew if I wanted to keep her in place, I had to keep her in the moment before she thought too much about what we were doing.
She attempted to squirm away, but this only excited me more as she rubbed her sweet bottom into my erect cock. I let out a low sensual growl and I smelled her wetness grow.
"Baby you smell so good right now. I love when I get you excited." I whispered as I rubbed my nose against her ear and ran my hand from her chest, heading to the source of her wetness. This is when she decided to stop me.
"Dexter please don't" She whimpered. "I need to talk to Devon, can I have him back." You can have me however you want me.
She thinks Dexter is controlling the show. I'll play along. Dex does do this every now and then, but when I take over she is no longer interested. Let's see what she does while she's in this position and wants a favor. I can feel the bond pulling on me to keep her close. Is she feeling the same thing?
"Well hello mate. What did Dex do to get you in this position and smelling like I might need to take you upstairs." I said keeping her firmly planted on my cock. "Don't squirm. You already have us excited enough this morning. Now, what did you want to ask us? You have our undivided attention." Placing my face in her hair and breathing in. I prayed that she decided to squirm.
"Ummm... So next week is my birthday. And ummm... some of the people from the clinic want to take me out for drinks this Saturday and I was asking if it's okay if I could go." I listened as I went back to my assault on her soft body. She feels so good so right pressed against me. I haven't ever felt anything like this. I'm trying to keep my cool though I know I don't have a chance in hell. Not after what I have done in our past.
"So nervous Izza. You know that the answer is no but you still asked. I do enjoy your obedience." I spun her in my lap so that she was now straddling me. "Maybe though, I can give you one night. Show me that you can behave while out." I took the opportunity to rub myself against her soaking core causing her to moan again. If we keep this up I will have a happy ending in the kitchen. I would live a happy ending. Right here right now.
"Please." She whimpered back. As I pressed into her again and again.
"Please what Izza," I responded as I returned to kissing her mark.
"Tell me what you want Izza?"
"I... I... I want... Please either stop or..." At that moment the boys entered the kitchen looking for breakfast. Izza jumped up off my lap and grabbed the twins' breakfast. Please stop or what? Did she want me to take her? Did she want me as much as I want her? Have I not blown my chance with my mate.
They couldn't have given me five more minutes. Now I'm left hard and wanting of something I'm not going to get. I adjust myself multiple times, but if I keep up I'll be jerking off at the table where my boys are eating. I look up and Izza is leaning on the counter again and I can see even more down her shirt. I want, what is mine. I gave up on my plate and walked it to the sink. I looked my mate up and down as she faced the boys. What I wouldn't do for a piece of that ass.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and press against her a few times as I leaned over to whisper in her ear. "We will finish this conversation later." And I was not talking about her birthday. I quickly kissed her cheek before the boys noticed what I was doing. I rubbed into her a few more times just for good measure so she understood the situation she has left me in and headed upstairs to take care of this myself. I hopped back in the shower and played the morning over again in my head. I was finally able to find my release not once but twice. I needed to get out to training so I redressed and made my way back downstairs.
As I stepped off the bottom step, Izza was yelling for the boys to come on. She was wearing the tiniest blue and green string bikini. While I stood and stared she ran right into my chest. I had to grab her waist to keep her from falling but she dropped everything she was carrying. In a flash, she had turned and picked up the towels and lotion. When she bent over it put her behind right in my crouch. I couldn't help myself, I grabbed her hips and rammed against her hard. If I had been wearing any fewer clothes I would have been in her. I wish I was in her.
"You have to stop teasing me today, baby. My control will only hold for so long." If she keeps this up I will have her right here, right now.
"I didn't mean to."
"Then why are you wearing this," I asked running his hands along the string of her swimsuit. So easy to remove. "Mmmm... You look good enough to eat." I let go of her as the boys came into the room.
"Daddy, Daddy. Nanny Nikki is taking us swimming. Are you gonna join us?" I watched Izza's face fall as Xavier called her Nanny Nikki. And that right there is part of the reason I have no chance with my mate. About the dumbest decision I have ever made in my life.
"No boys Daddy has to go to work," Izza answered for me. She doesn't want me to stay.
"I can't go swimming with you boys, but I can come out for just a few and watch you guys," I responded back. I just can't leave Izza alone today. She has been so responsive. I just want to keep it up. The boys ran ahead jumping into the water and splashing about. I walked behind my sexy ass mate as we headed outside. Her hips swayed as she walked, and all I could do was imagine what her ass would look like up in the air as I thrust into her from behind.
It was my turn to run into her as I hadn't noticed she had stopped. This time I grabbed her and pulled her in close. I nuzzled into her neck again and said "Now back to that earlier conversation,"
"Dex stop it. You never gave Devon back control did you." She thinks Dex is running this show. I wonder what she would think if she knew this was all me this morning. That she is all I want. She is what I need.
"Not Dex, Izza. Just your very horny, turned on mate. Your arousal is killing me. I have to go soon before I do something I can't take back. Your smell is drawing me in so strong today. I can't take it." I stopped talking for a moment to suck on her mark, while my hands moved back to her chest. I twisted and rolled my mate's hard buds between my fingers. This caused her to moan out my name. She pressed into me and I grew even harder.
Trailing kisses to her ear, I moved my hand south and whispered. "So responsive. And for this little treat, I'm going to let you go out for your birthday. Please don't make me regret this. I don't want to kill any of my warriors." I will rip anyone that touches what is mine to shreds.
"Oh okay. Thank you, Alpha." Alpha what the fuck. This was a mate to mate moment.
I growled in her ear. "When your Izza, I'm Devon or even better Dev. Not Alpha okay." I stroked between her trembling legs and rubbed myself harder and faster against the crack of her ass.
"Yes, Dev." She breathed out as she had started to pant. I focus hard on rubbing her nub. Her suit had been pushed to the side, while I rubbed against her to find my release. I was more interested in her finding hers though. I have never had the pleasure of making her come and I was very excited to do so. I found that secret spot hidden in side and curled my fingers and received a joyous cry. "Oh my, oh Dev." She moaned and came as quietly as she could. Pride rippled in my chest and I rocked my way to my finish before I finally stilled. Kissing her cheek, ear, and then finishing on her mark. I told her "I have to go. I need to change and get to the grounds. That was a great start to my morning though. You need to ask me for things more often. I like the result." With a huge smile on my face, I smacked her ass, backed into the house. The moment I was out of her site I placed the fingers I had used on her and sucked them clean. She tastes like heaven.
After cleaning up again I finally made it to the training grounds and was meet by Jax. He mind-linked me, "You look happy. What were you doing that took so long."
I just smiled back. For the first time in a long time, I felt sated. I had to get to the office. I had a video conference in an hour. I just wanted to make sure all was going well with training. I train the boys hard because we get a lot of bad weather. I want to make sure they are prepared to help with the elderly and make sure we don't have any casualties.
When the time came I was sitting in my office ready for my meeting. Their video footage was down so all we had was sound. I was bored as they ran numbers out. My accountant was on the line as well. I wasn't really needed. As I sat in my chair all I could think about was my mate. I could still smell her arousal on me. I ended up daydreaming about Izza instead of paying attention and wound up with my cock in my hand. As I was about to find my release, I realized they had asked me a question and I had to get to work. From that point on my day was nonstop. I was having a blue balls issue and needed to take care of this because it would only get more painful. Jessica stopped by as I was leaving and told me she had forgotten her purse in my room this morning.
Izza would be gone before I got home because she was at the clinic tonight. So there is hope that she won't see Jessica come home with me. I want her to think about possibly giving me a shot. Not me with other women. I don't want to watch Jessica get off. I want to watch my mate. Touch my mate. Hold my mate.
I got to the house and tried to get Jessica upstairs as quick as I could but Izza was still there. Fuck. She had been smiling until she saw my arm around Jessica. It was innocent, we were just talking about training and she wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked and to not be a total ass I did the same.
But it didn't look good that it was the same girl from this morning. And it didn't look good because my mate doesn't know that I have not been sleeping with anyone. I watch because I'm bored. I'm horny. I watch because I can't have what is mine.
I froze because I was caught. I wanted Izza, not Jessica. Why was she still home?
"Iz... Nikki, I thought you would have been to the clinic by now. Everything okay?" I asked not able looking to look her in the eye. I am such a coward. "Jessica, why don't you head upstairs. I'll be right behind you."
"Awe but dinner smells so good. Can't we eat first?" Why did she have to speak. I'm done for.
"Bitch shut the fuck up before I snap your neck. This is not the time for your shit." I mind-linked Jessica.
"I don't cook for sluts. Fuck you both. I hope you get chlamydia and die." Izza shouted.
At the thought of my whore eating the dinner she prepared for her family, Izza lost it. Out of nowhere, a chair came flying at us. I stepped out of the way and Jessica took it full-on in the face. She dropped like a sack of potatoes. I could care less. I was more worried about Izza. She had grabbed her bag and was almost gone.
I meet her at the door and grabbed her wrist to stop her.
"What?" She snapped at me. Her tone held her Luna power in it.
"What did I do?" I asked. I knew. I just wanted to understand what part she was most upset about.
"Wow. Men really are stupid. What did you do? You broke your own rules this morning. You touched me and kissed me and held me like you wanted me. I should have known better. You never do those things. It made me think things had somehow changed. But of course, they haven't. You are still the same man whore you have always been. I'm just the dumbass that keeps waiting for you to change. I have to go." She pulled her hand from my grasp and slammed the door in my face before I could even react.
"You fucked up man," Dex said in my head.
"No shit" I responded back. I walked back into the kitchen and told Jax to tell Jessica to go home when she woke up.
"I don't want any of them coming here anymore. I'm done with them. I'll never have Izza if I keep doing this." I made my way upstairs trying to come up with a new plan. A plan that ended with Izza and me together. I know she is mad at me, but today showed me that she still wants me. She will still fight for me. This may be my last shot, so I have to make it the best one.
When I got to my room I looked around for Jessica's purse. I don't need her to have an excuse to come back again. It was no where. There was no purse here. That bitch lied. All of this could have been avoided. Goddess I hate this.