All But Forgotten Mate (EDITED/COMPLETE)

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Chapter 6: On Hold

Chapter 6: On Hold (Devon's POV)

After taking the day off I woke up the next morning ready to get back to work. I told the girls that I had a new fetish to fulfill and to tell the rest of the sluts that hung around. This wasn't anything new. I told them that from now on only blondes entered my room. The lighter the blonde the better. They nodded in understanding and I dismissed them from my house. I ordered for more to return tonight, specifying that they are blonde.

I got another shower this time alone. I ran out every fantasy I could think of with my Izza. I had my cock in my hand and moaned her name knowing no one could hear me in my soundproof room. This would be my secret, my want for my mate. I still didn't want the other things that came with having a mate. The need for her was driving me insane though. I just want to feel her. That was impossible though. Even if I wanted her as my mate, I had left her torn, raw, and pained. If she didn't hate me she was in no shape to be in my bed.

Before I headed out to the Packhouse I decided to pass by Izza's room just to make sure Kelly was following her new orders. I had spoken with Jax the night before and he was going to make sure she knew what to do. Jax mind-linked me, as I was getting dressed that Kelly was making Izza's breakfast.

Her room was three floors down from mine on the opposite side of the house. It was my bedroom before my parents passed and since then it has just been a random guest room. I reach the bedroom just as Kelly had closed the door behind her. I sunk back into the shadows so I could listen to their exchange.

"So you're the prisoner of war?" Kelly asked. I almost gave myself away from laughing. Wait Jax didn't tell her that Izza is my mate. He deserves a raise as my Beta for lying to his mate for me.

"Ummm... Huh?" Izza replied sounding confused. Her voice sounds angelic. It makes my chest tighten. I am right to keep my distance. I will do nothing more than hurt her by letting her close to me.

"I was told to come here to take care of the prisoner. That I was to make sure you were feed and watered at least twice a day and to make sure you had the necessities to not die. Seems like they gave you a nice enough room though. It's bigger than mine and Jax's room, and it has a bigger TV. Just so you know, I really can't cook, so I made your fried eggs, fried spam, and toast with a slice of tomatoes. I hate tomatoes, but I figured I should give you a veggie. There is a bottle of water and a carton of juice. You can eat it or starve. I did what I was told. It looks like you have everything that you need here. So I will be back at about six tonight to bring you the same thing for dinner." Kelly rambled out quickly. I heard her set down the plate and turn towards the door.

I was not happy with some of the things she said like "necessities to not die" why would she put Izza and dying in the same sentence. This did not make Dex happy and I didn't like it either. Not to mention her comments about the room that she gets to live in only because of Jax. Ungrateful bitch.

I heard my mate laugh. It was a beautiful sound until I heard it be followed by a light whimper. She's still hurting from what we did to her and it smarted her just to laugh. I sighed. I am an asshole. No, we are assholes Dex. Dex just hides in the shadows at the back of my mind.

"What is wrong with you?" Kelly snapped at Izza as she stopped from exiting the room. The door was open now and I could smell my mate from here. I unintentionally took a few steps closer. A few deep breaths and dizzy almost drunk on her. I need to walk away but I can't.

"Oh, so I get to speak now. And as for what is wrong with me, let's just say I had a very long and bad night. I hurt, it just took me about two hours to take a shower, and put on a t-shirt. And what made me laugh out loud, is your Alpha's sense of humor. I guess in a way though, I am a prisoner of war, but just more of a personal war. Oh, and I love tomatoes so thank you for thinking I might need something not fried to eat." Izza calmly responded back. I held my breath hoping to hear her speak again. After a moment she continued "Close your mouth honey, it'll attract flies."

My cock stirred again at the sound of her soft voice. She had completely burned Kelly while never raising her tone. She's feisty and has a great sense of humor too. Her personal war comment got me. Did she know how much I was fighting with myself to be with her? I hated that she was hurting but I'm not that mate. I will only hurt her in worse ways.

Kelly called her a bitch as she locked the door and went to close it. Dex wasn't happy about this, so he was on her heels as soon as she was out of the room, causing Kelly to yelp in surprise.

"So sorry Alpha, I was just attending to the prisoner. She seems to be more comfortable than a prisoner should be though. How did she warrant being imprisoned in the house instead of the dungeons?" Kelly had the balls to ask.

I growled "Kelly shut up. Don't dare to question how I handle my business, because I will not think twice to snap your neck. I will not care that you are my Beta's mate. I want you to do something for me. Talk less Kelly. Especially to the girl in that room. Bring her the food and make sure she has clean linens, soap, TP, and whatever else. When you come back with her dinner bring a first aid kit. I want her alive. Do. You. Understand." I shouted the last few words at her.

"Yes sir, Al-Alpha, I will do everything you asked." Kelly stuttered back.

I laughed at her and she pulled the door close and scampered away down the hall, like a dog with its tail between it's legs.

I lingered for a minute taking in her wonderful scent that still hung in the hallway. Dragging myself away I headed out for the training grounds. I reached the grounds to be faced with an angry Jax. To keep the conversation private he mind-linked me.

"What the hell did you say to Kelly? She mind-linked me crying after she dropped off Izza's breakfast." I understand his anger, but he needs to know why she pissed me off.

"Really, man. Did she tell you why I yelled at her? Did she tell you how much of bitch she was to Izza, her complaints about your living quarters, or about the fact that she called Izza a bitch. Dex got pissed at how she treated our mate... I mean his mate. I couldn't disagree with him. So I scared her a little bit to keep Dex from scaring her. I would never hurt Kelly because it would hurt you but she needed to be put in her place." He needs to put a leash on her. Hmmm... I wonder how Izza would look tied to my bed. Stop it Dex.

"Oh, so this was all for the benefit of your mate. The mate that you have forced yourself on, threatened and locked away. You've set such a great example of how she should be treated. What's your problem anyway? Mates are great they make you feel complete. Why are you fighting this so hard?" He just doesn't get it.

"You wouldn't understand. I have the whole pack and the Elders on my shoulders. I have had that burden since I was fourteen. I work, and then I play. When I come home I don't have to answer to anyone. I don't have to worry about the health, safety, or life, of anyone else. The girls that come to me, they take care of me, my needs. Then they leave. I can relax. With my mate, yes I'm sure she will take care of my needs better than any of those whores can, but it would also be about her. It would be about her emotions, her needs. I wouldn't be able to relax." I replied back.

"Can you truly relax with the way things are now though?" He sounds disappointed in me. I don't blame him.

"No, but I have peace of mind that no one is hurting her. No one is trying to make a move on her. If I put the whole mate thing on hold until..... I don't know. I guess until I'm not a selfish asshole anymore. Until I'm the man that can be the mate that someone as perfect as her deserves. I'm a long way from that man. Izza was right, she is a prisoner of my own personal war with myself. Nice cover-up by the way." I pat him on the shoulder. He is a better friend than I deserve.

"It was the only thing I could come up with to explain to Kelly why she had to do this. Well other than that, she's the Alpha's mate. Kelly does talk too much, so I figured that you wouldn't want her to know." I do get a smirk from him. So he isn't as mad at me anymore.

"Your right I don't want anyone else to know. As far as the Elders, all they need to know is I went to The Claiming and came back alone. I do need to talk to Luna Grace to make sure this isn't going to get back to them. I have a feeling that she is going to yell at me, but she'll respect my decision." (When I call her that's exactly what she did, for about a half-hour straight, before agreeing.)

Jax nodded and we walked around instructing different groups on tactics, strength exercises, and fighting technics. As I made my way to where the female warriors were, I saw that several were just getting into position. The once brunette and ginger she-wolves were now dyed blondes. I told them that their punishment was to be taken care of in my room later that night. Just another cover for what I really want.

Jax mind-linked me "I guess you have a new type. All blondes now, huh. I respect your point of view, but I have another one for you. You will never be happy until you are with her."

I just smiled sadly back at him and continued with the training. I knew he was right, but I also knew that if I tried to be with Izza now I would just screw things up beyond repair. I know my decision to place things on hold will be painful for us both, but I really think it will be better for us in the long run.

As I came back to the house to shower, I detoured by Izza's room again. I was only hoping to catch a whiff of her scent before heading to my room. Kelly had just entered with Izza's dinner and she had left the door ajar behind her. She had only taken one step into the room before starting her shit again.

"Diner's served bitch, and I was feeling nice so I brought you a first aid kit. Maybe you should say thank you." Kelly screeched.

"I agree with your Alpha. You talk too much. Shut up, leave my shit and get out." Izza said back sounding confident while holding her own against Kelly. I guess I don't have to defend her as much as I thought. That was a comforting moment. I will have another talk with Jax though. I don't want Kelly talking to her like that. If I thought Kelly could keep her mouth shut I would push for them to be friends. But I know that wouldn't be possible.

Kelly caught me in the hallway again, she bowed her head as she passed me and mind-linked me, "Goodnight Alpha." Then she headed in the direction of Jax and her room.

I took in a few deep breathes of Izza's scent before moving to leave. I could hear her heavy breathing just on the other side of the door. It seemed that she was sitting on the floor eating. I could also smell burnt food. I felt bad but the more I care, the more I get involved, the worse it will be. I pressed my head against the door telling Dex that Izza is fine, and we should go. He finally loosened the grip I didn't realize I had on the door frame and allowed us to walk in the direction of the stairs. I felt the nudge of a mind-link come in. It was from Jax, so I let it through.

"Thought you would find this interesting. Kelly is worried about Izza."

"Why? What's wrong. Do I need to get the pack doctor in there?"

He laughed at my concern, "No she's worried that you may be trying to take advantage of the prisoner. She has found you creeping outside of the room twice now, and it has lead to some questions about your intentions. I told her that you guys have some history between the two of you from before she came here, and that you would never hurt her. That your past is the reason why she is being taken care of, instead of being held in a cell."

"Nice, did she buy it?"

"Yes, I don't like lying to her but she would definitely blab to others about this. So I can keep your secret. Her response was amusing too."

"What was that?"

"She said she didn't know you had a heart." With that, he closed the mind-link and continued his night with his mate. Jax does deserve a bonus for that one. I don't know how I would be able to get through this without him. I don't know if I really do have a heart, but if I were to ever be with my mate again it would be consensual. I couldn't take anything more from her. I have already done that enough. I made it to my door and was greeted by five blondes.

For the next six months, I followed the same routine. I made sure I was hidden nearby whenever Kelly went to Izza's room. There were no more issues between them, as they barely spoke. I just wanted to catch her scent of blueberries vanilla and coconut. I, of course, continued my Alpha duties, and to break the tension I kept a steady stream of blondes in my bed. I would fantasize that they were Izza and I dreamt of her lying in my arms every night.

Then one day Kelly mind-linked me in a panic telling me something was wrong in Izza's room. That day changed everything.

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