Chapter 10: MAD Room
Chapter 10: MAD Room (Xand’s POV)
Fuck my head hurts. Where am I? What did I do?
“Good morning Beta Fury.” Doctor Maggie tells me in an overly cheerful voice.
“Mags, you have known me my whole life. Please just call me Xand.” I say softly trying to keep my head from exploding. Why is the sun shining in my room and why does it have to be so bright. Fuck you sun. Nobody likes you. “Can you close the blinds?”
Maggie, I’m guessing does as I ask, and I can finally manage to open my eyes. Looking around me I start to get an idea of why my head hurts so bad. I am in a room that I am remarkably familiar with. I have spent a lot of time here. X and V built this room for me. They built it while I was at my worst. They built it to contain the beast that wanted nothing more than to burn the earth to ashes while I laughed my head off at others suffering. I was suffering so the world should have been suffering too.
This is my MAD room. It’s padded. I have a tv, but it’s behind bulletproof glass. I have built-in bins that hold my clothing. My bed is a small, raised platform that is double padded in memory foam for “My Comfort”. There is a window, but it has more bulletproof glass and bars to keep me from escaping when I need to be controlled. It used to be white, but during one of my more clear-headed times, I told V that the white hurt my head, so we painted it. V is a talented artist. She painted the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland with the words “We’re All MAD Here” in a few diverse ways, all around the room. That’s why it’s called the MAD room. V has always had a way of helping me tame my demons.
“How are you feeling today Xand,” Maggie asks bringing me back to our present conversation.
“I feel like I was beaten upside the head with a butcher’s block. Wait that’s because I was.” I say smiling at her. The event that led me here is starting to come back.
I had finally made it home. I had tried to talk to Court but she told me to fuck off again, so I decided to go against doctor’s orders and drink. It was late when I got home. Maybe two in the morning. I could smell her the moment I walked in. I just wanted to go to bed, I tried to run quickly to the stairs and disappear to my room, but there she was. Lexi was bent over in the kitchen getting something out of the fridge. Before I could stop him, Lucifer took over.
We were balls deep in her from behind before she could even sense we were in the room. I took her there bent over until she came, and I followed with her. I closed the fridge and moved her over to the counter, so she had more support and continued to go at it hard. I know we finished at least one more time before she knocked over the fruit bowl and X came out. He thought just because he is the Alpha that Lucifer would submit. He should have known that Lucifer would never back down. Lucifer raged back at him and he cowered away. Or so I thought. He had let me get distracted by Lexi again before he knocked the fuck out of me.
I know I have been given my meds. I can feel the calm from them, but I think they gave me something else too. “Mags, what the hell did you give me. Other than my headache I feel more relaxed than I ever have in years.”
“I spoke with V about your outburst where you destroyed the kitchen. She told me that you were doing so well on your meds, but you still had an edge. That you needed something to mellow you some and help you relax.” Maggie gave me a big smile before handing me a large wooden box. I opened it and was a little confused. There was a large bag of gummies, what looks like a vape pen, rolling paper, and a baggie of... oh no shit they are giving me pot, “Welcome to the world of medicinal marijuana Xand. Take it easy on the edibles they will sneak up on you and kick your ass. When you are ready to leave, you can go shopping at the Pharmacy and see what else you would like to try out.”
I giggled at her. I actually fucking giggled. My doctor is telling me to get high. I think this may be the best day ever. “Thanks, Mags. I never thought you would be my dealer.” I laugh again. I smoked a little in high school, but mom found out and well I am a momma’s boy. I told her I would stop. Now I’m being told that being a pothead will help with my anger issues. Mags leaves. She also dropped a big crate of snacks and drinks by my door. I’m not locked in. I can leave when I’m ready, but who wants to leave right now. Not me. I can’t go home anyway while Lexi is still in heat. I try not to repeat the same mistake twice.
I spend a good while testing out the goodies that Mags gave me and have the greatest sleep I can ever remember having. The next day I hang out in my MAD room. I have to say Mags was right about the gummies. I ate a handful of them and took an unexpected three-hour nap. I had just eaten my dinner that consisted of an extra-large pizza, fries, two burgers, and a whole cheesecake. I had just rolled a joint and was propped up against the wall in nothing but my boxers when V came to join me.
She had a bottle of rum in her hand, and she looked like she had been crying. I opened my arms to her, and she crawled in next to me. “I’m not going to ask if you are okay because you obviously are not. Do you want to talk about it?” She shrugs. “Do you want a gummy? I remember when you used to smoke you would not shut up. You also get the giggles.”
She smiles at me. An all straight, white teeth and dimples smile that makes her caramel-colored skin glow like a bronze medal. My boxers tighten at that smile. I hope she doesn’t notice, but V would never say anything about it. She knows I can’t help it. She is wearing a thin lilac wrap dress that in the right light I’m sure would be see-through. She is nearly spilling out of the top of it, and it has ridden up at the hem as she scooted up the bed.
“I prefer to smoke my pot instead of eating it.” She says with another smile. I pass her the joint in my hand and a lighter.
“Well light it up then V.”
After a while, she finally started to talk about what was wrong. “And now he is giving her the one and only thing I have ever asked him for. You know I asked him the other day if I chose him over my mate if he would make me his and he told me no. He told me no. After everything. He will never make me his. I don’t know why I bother anymore. He didn’t call me. I didn’t know she was already in heat. I thought he had ditched me.” She rants on and on in circles about how fucked up X is. She has had half a bottle of rum, a joint, and two gummy bears, so I don’t expect her to stop talking anytime soon.
She shifts so that she is laying in my lap and I try to place a pillow in between us, but she keeps moving it away. “You would give me a pup if you were X wouldn’t you Xand? If I asked. If I were yours?”
I chuckle. “I would. My wolf wants to spread our seed far and wide. I may have given one to Court. I may have assisted my brother in creating his heir. Lucifer dipped into that honeypot and painted her from the inside twice before X even knew she was gone from his bed.” I am pretty toasted, and I get overly honest when I am high.
“So, what would be one more Xand. I would be yours if you helped me become a mom.” What? She wants my help. This is crossing into territory that I do not let myself think about.
“I would love to V, but you have a mate somewhere. I would never keep you from them.” I could never be the cause of someone losing their mate.
“I understand,” She says but then a devious smile shines across her face. “What if I’m yours until this mystical knight in shining armor shows his face. If he does not want me because I have a pup with another wolf, then he can be rejected, and I will then be yours. That’s if you would have me.” She tells me as she rolls over and runs a hand up my thigh.
“If I would have you, V? I have told X so many times how stupid he is. How perfect you are. You have been everything to us since we lost our mother. I would give you want ever you want, and I would be a proud man to call you mine if you do not choose your mate. I have always wished for someone to choose me. I have been feared but never wanted.” I say with a sad tone seeping into my voice.
“I’d choose you, Xand.” She climbs on top of my lap straddling me. Grabbing my hand she places it over her stomach. “Plant your seed here my sweet Xander. I have never feared you and I promise to want you.”
V pulls her dress over her head. Leaving her in just her panties. I have wanted her in our past, but she has always belonged to X. She wants what X refuses to give her. I could give her what she wants. I just need to reach out and take it. She reaches between us and releases the monster from my shorts. I have been hard since V walked in and it has become increasingly painful having her all over me. She slides her underwear to the side before placing me at her entrance.
“Please Xander,” She begs in a small voice with a pout across her perfectly plump lips.
I cannot deny her. I rotate my hips up, entering her quickly. She feels divine. Soft, warm. and tight. She rides me as if her life depends on it. I look down watching the sight of my cock disappear and reappear from her caramel mound. Her nipples are perked hard and trembling in anticipation as I take one into my mouth. I buck her harder from beneath in my excitement.
She responds with a scream of ecstasy before she shouts. “Cum with me Xander. I am so close.”
I finish as she clenches tightly around me. I let out a growl as I unload deep inside of her. Filling her to the brim. I have never had a release like this before.
I wake the next morning with V in my arms here in my small bed. We are both still naked. It does not surprise me she still sleeps. She passed out after round seven. My wolf and I would have kept going but her body needed the rest.
She sleeps most of the day. I hear her phone go off a few times but do not dare move. I relish the feel of her in my arms. It is nearly dinner time when her eyes open. She smiles at me and then her eyes go wide, and she quickly sits up. She looks down at our naked forms entangled together.
“What is wrong love?” I ask. I feel the smile that was on my face drop.
“What did we... What did you do?
“What did I do? You asked for this V.” I won’t tell her that she begged. She did. She begged for more each and every time. She begged for harder and faster. She begged for me to fill her and not stop as she screamed my name over and over again. “You gave yourself to me. You wanted a pup and I provided you with what you needed to try.”
“This was a mistake, Xander. I’m sorry.” She goes to reach for my face, to caress my cheek but I pull back from her.
A low growl escapes me. I knew this was too good to be true. “I wish you would have said that before. What will you do if we succeeded last night V? Will you go back to him? Will you go back to someone who gave another what you wished for? Will you raise my child with him? While he raises his child with her.”
I watched tears roll down her cheeks from the venom in my voice. She drops her head into her hands as she asks, “What did I promise you, for you to agree to this?”
I drop my head back to the wall behind me. I hate how I’m talking to her so I try to calm myself and continue in a softer tone. “You promised to be mine until you find your mate. You promised that if he refused you for having another’s pup you would deny him and be mine.”
I get up from bed and grab another handful of gummies. My wolf is angry, and I need to calm him down. Another is refusing us. First, my mate chooses another, then Lexi belongs to X, followed by Court leaving us, and now V is changing her mind too.
Surprising me. She wraps her arms around my neck and holds me close. “It would be an honor to be yours, Xander.” She has tears in her eyes. “I will proudly bear your pups. I am a woman of my word. I do not break it. You have offered me a gift and I will be yours in return.”
“I thought you said this was a mistake.” Shut up loser. My wolf shouts at me.
She caresses my face with the back of her hand. “I was wrong. I just must ask you for tonight. I need to see him. He needs to know what he has lost. What now is yours.” Mine, I like the sound of that. Nothing has ever been mine before.
V leaves shortly after. I really am grateful for my new coping device. I’m sure the entire building would have been in ruins by the time she returns had it not been for the items in my Happy Box. She does return though. It is not a happy reunion at first. She is crying when she climbs into my bed and my arms. But she is here with me, not with him.
“I promise you this is the last time you will see me cry for him. Once we wake in the morning, I am yours mind, body, and soul. I will give you all of me all of my heart. Thank you, Xander.” She whimpers into my shoulder between her tears.
“I understand V. Cry, my love. I am here for you.” I run a soothing hand up and down her back. “He will hate me forever for this.”
“He has only himself to blame.” She says after taking a deep breath. “He admitted that he would never have given me what I wanted. He would have never claimed me as his. With or without a mate. I remember that you are giving me the option. I respect that you will not take someone’s mate. I also know that you will keep your word to make me your chosen mate if I choose to reject him.”
She snuggled into my embrace. My wolf and I for once in a long time feel whole. We are at peace, sated, and happy with our chosen mate. I hope that she will one day wear my mark. But until then we are happy. I know V better than anyone. She will stay true to me. At least until she finds her mate, and then my fate is in the hands of the Goddess. My odds have never been in my favor.
This chapter is dedicated to all those I love that struggle with mental health and have found a little bit of peace with a toke of that Maryjane.
If you have a problem with this statement or this chapter of my book 🤬🤬🤬🤬 You might as well stop reading now. Sorry, not sorry.