Chapter 11: All Yours
Chapter 11: All Yours (V’s POV)
Hmmm... I am so comfortable and warm right now. It’s official I am never moving from this spot. I don’t know how I got so lucky to be snuggling X in my sleep, but I’m not going to complain. X likes his space when he sleeps. I like to cuddle, spoon and damn near lay on top of him. I’m going to take advantage of this while I can. I bury my face further into his neck, shift my leg over him further and drift off to a deep peaceful sleep.
When I do finally wake up, I am graced with the brilliant white smile of Xander’s sweet face. I smile back at him until it hits me. Xander not X. Fuck... Fuck! What did I do? Yep, I’m naked. He’s... Naked too. Crap!
He lays there bare and proud with his arms behind his head after I yank the sheet to cover me. He has every right to be proud. No wonder my lady parts feel as if they have been rode hard and put away wet. Very wet. I thought X had a large package. He has nothing on his big brother. He is the bigger brother in every sense of the word. Goddess, I’m surprised he didn’t split me in two with that thing.
“What is wrong love?” I watch the smile that had been so happy just moments before melt into a frown.
“What did we... What did you do?” I know he would never press me to do anything I didn’t want, or more likely beg him, to do.
“What did I do? You asked for this.” Of course, I did. I am never drinking again. Ever! “You gave yourself to me. You wanted a pup and I provided you with what you needed to try.”
“This was a mistake, Xander. I’m sorry.” Why am I being such a bitch. I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. Even more, after he pulls away from me when I go to reach for him.
With a low growl and a stern tone, he explains to me what we promised to each other. He has every right to be pissed at me right now. Xander has always been there for me. Before he went nuts and even after he has been my comfort whenever X has broken my heart. The year I came home and found the cheerleader spread out on his bed I was crushed. After I came out in tears, there was Xander with his arms wide to hold me as I cried. Years later I lied to X and told him that I was jealous that it wasn’t me and that I had considered joining. That was something he was into. I never wanted that.
The only time I don’t regret it is when it was our three-way with Xander, and it’s not because I had two guys at once. The only time X let another man in our bedroom. It’s because I was helping Xander. I know you’re thinking, yeah right, but it was. Lucifer was becoming increasingly agitated, we thought he might hurt someone. After he was much calmer. I wanted to do it alone. Just take care of him and move on, but X wouldn’t have that. His excuse was that I could be hurt.
When the time came, X sprawled me out and played with me getting Lucifer excited. I was on my knees taking Xander in my mouth with his legs spread out on the bed, his hand gentle in my hair, when X took me from behind. He slid in the back door since he couldn’t wait to put on a condom. I was mortified, but I kept going because of Xander. His eyes closed as he worked my head at a slow bob up and down his shaft. With everything that was going on, I never registered the sheer size of him. No wonder he didn’t pound into my face, he may have suffocated me.
X was preparing to finish so he told me to suck hard and lick Xanders tip, as he told Xander to jack the rest of it so he could come in my mouth. After a few more strokes X finished and ordered Xander to hurry up. The moment Xander finished, and I swallowed I was pulled out of the room. X never made the offer again. I don’t think he liked being outperformed.
Xander rises and grabs a handful of gummies tossing them back. He has been trying so hard to get it together. To be stable. To be there for everyone again. He has been through so much. He deserves better than this.
I advance on him quickly before he can pull away again wrapping my arms around his waist before burying my face in chest. I lift my head, my eyes blurry with unshed tears, “It would be an honor to be yours, Xander. I will proudly bear your pups. I am a woman of my word. I do not break it. You have offered me a gift and I will be yours in return.”
“I thought you said this was a mistake.” I deserve that. He has always been so good to me. Too good to me.
“I was wrong.” I took a deep breath, breathing in his fresh morning scent. I have to ask one thing. I must end things with X before I can continue this with him. “I just must ask you for tonight. I need to see him. He needs to know what he has lost. What is now yours.”
He pulls away from me, sitting back on the edge of the bed burying his face in his hands. “I understand V. Go.”
Getting the feeling that he doesn’t trust me to return. I kneel before him, pull his hands from his face, and place a gentle but surprisingly passionate kiss on his lips. “I will be back. I promise.” I cup his cheek in my hand before leaving.
The Packhouse was my first stop. I need a shower and to grab some clothes. The items that I took from The Fury house are all still packed, so I can just take them with me. I think it will be best if we hang out in the Mad Room for a little while. Regrettably, I shower quickly. I find myself not wanting to lose Xander’s scent. It is comforting and gives me the strength to face X, but it would be bad to go to X smelling so strongly of Xander.
After my shower, I sit at the foot of the bed going over what I should say to X. This is going to be bad; I know it. He needs to know that things between us aren’t working anymore. If I’m being honest, they haven’t for a while. We haven’t really been together since Lexi got here. Well other than when we got caught in the office. She hasn’t been here long, but even though I was upset that he hadn’t called me, it was also kind of a relief. It’s my fault because I started it, but he controls everything we do. I want to be more equal. I want some of the control. Someone I can lean on but that will also lean on me. I feel like I’m comparing them in my head. Each comparison Xander keeps coming out on top. Why hadn’t I figured this out sooner?
X has tried to call me a dozen or so times, but I can’t answer. I’m afraid to answer. I’m afraid that instead of saying hi, I’ll blurt out something like, I slept with your brother. That is not something that he needs to find out over the phone. This is a conversation that needs to happen in person.
I asked one of the warriors that were headed out for the night if they would drop my things off at the clinic for me. He grabbed the bag and with a nod was out the door. The warriors barely talk to me. They are afraid that X will make their lives a living hell if they look at me the wrong way, so I’m not surprised by his curt response. I enter the Packhouse a little before midnight. I slept most of the day, but it feels like this day has lasted a week, and I still haven’t confronted X yet.
My tears are already flowing before I open the door to his room. I know I’m the one ending things, but that doesn’t mean that this isn’t tearing me apart. I care about him, just not in the way I used to. He is on laying on his back with his hands behind his head. He looks up as I approach opening his arms for me and pulls me in.
“I am so sorry baby. It’s done. Hopefully, this will be the last and only time I have to do this.” He murmurs in my ear as he runs a hand gently through my hair. The river of tears flowing from me is unstoppable. It was at least an hour before I could make a coherent response. Finally, I cried out, “I did something. I did something that changes everything.”
“What could you have possibly done that would cause you to be this upset my beautiful girl.” He says while still gently stroking my hair.
I sat up wiping my face. I need to do this. “I... I did something, I can’t take back.”
“V, you’re scaring me. Tell me what is going on now.” He commands as he sits up facing me.
This kind of pissed me off. He didn’t need to use his Alpha tone and cause me to blurt out, “I slept with your brother.”
“Please tell me that it was Jordi, not Xand.” He says through gritted teeth.
“Why would that be any better?” I ask stunned by his question.
“Let’s start off with the latest reason.” Pulling at his hair in frustration. “While I was with Lexi this weekend, I caught him fucking her on the kitchen counter.” He screams at me.
“It’s not his fault you didn’t tell him she was in heat, and then you left her unattended,” I scream back.
“So that’s what this is really about. You’re jealous over Lexi. And your defending him for fucking my mate.” He might as well have slapped me. “You had nothing to worry about V. This is just to...”
“It’s just to get her pregnant. So, you can have your heir. Did you ever consider that I wanted to be the one to do that? That I would have given you everything. I would have given up everything for you. I would have given up my mate for you.” My voice comes out as a high pitch screech.
“It doesn’t work that way V.” His voice is back to being gentle and quiet.
“It would have if you would have marked me. I could have had your heir, but no you are too much of a pussy to have a mate.” I’m still yelling at this point.
“Just because I don’t want a mate doesn’t make me a pussy V, and you would do well to watch what you say right now.” This causes me to rise from the bed. I start to pace the room. I pick up a book that is on my nightstand and throw it at him. He stands from the bed and is in front of me in an instant. “You need to stop this shit right now V.”
“Answer this one question. Would you ever have given me the pup that I have begged you for?” My voice is low but filled with conviction as I hold eye contact with him. His eyes widen before he looks away, “Can’t look me in the eye and lie to me. Can’t you X?”
“Look, I really don’t even want the one that I’m trying to make with Lexi, but I have to do this for my family.” He’s still not looking at me.
“Why didn’t you just admit this years ago?”
“Because you would have left me. I care about you V.”
“Do you love me? Have you ever loved me?”
“I don’t know if I am capable of loving anyone. You know I have trust issues, and yes, that makes me a selfish asshole. I am well aware of that.” He walks away putting some space between us.
“So, after all of this time, you’re saying that you never trusted me?”
“No, I don’t. It seems as I had good reason not to trust you since you fucked Xand.” His response is so cold when he responds.
I close the few steps between us and slap him as hard as I can across the face. “Go to hell ashole.” Fuck that hurt, I cradle my hand with my other. Even though his eyes are blacked out showing that Mikey is currently in control he reaches out to check my hand. I step back from him. He runs a hand through his hair, “So what’s the plan now. Do I forgive you and let you crawl back into my bed?”
“No.” My voice is so small, I’m not even sure if I spoke it aloud.
“No? Then what the fuck are you gonna do without me.” The cold voice is back.
I want to slap him again, but I need at least one good hand, so I hit him with the lowest blow I can. “I’m going to go crawl into Xander’s bed with him. I came here to tell you this, us, we are over.” My voice is calm, even, and strong. I’m happy to know that Xander will be there to hold me after this.
He laughed, “Don’t come crawling back to me when he hurts you.”
“Go fuck yourself.” I storm to the door. I’m done with this. Before I slam the door behind me, I yell, “Xander would never hurt me.” I know it’s true. Even in his darkest times both he and Lucifer have always been gentle with me.
My tears are so thick I’m not sure how I made it back to the clinic and down to Xander’s Mad room, but I am there somehow carting my suitcase behind me. Xander is awake lying on his bed much in the same way that X was when I entered his room tonight. He sits up and takes in my appearance before opening his arms for me. I climb in hugging him tightly as if he were my lifeline. At this point he is.
“I promise you this is the last time you will see me cry for him. Once we wake in the morning, I am yours mind, body, and soul. I will give you all of me. Thank you, Xander.” I sniffle into his neck trying desperately to stop my free-flowing tears. I place myself so I am laying half on his chest with barely any of my body on the bed.
“I understand V. Cry, my love. I am here for you.” He coos as he runs a soothing hand up and down my back. “He will hate me forever for this.”
“He has only himself to blame.” Why can’t I stop crying? Xander doesn’t deserve to see me torn up this way over X. “He admitted that he would never have given me what I wanted. He would have never claimed me as his. With or without a mate. I remember that you are giving me the option. I respect that you will not take someone’s mate. I also know that you will keep your word to make me your chosen mate if I choose to reject him.”
As I snuggled in closer, if that’s even possible, I heard him whisper into my hair. “I would give you the world if you let me.” With that sleep takes over me.
I wake this morning a little disoriented. Xander’s arm has me pinned tightly to his chest and I am in heaven. He feels so good wrapped around me. I feel safe here. Happy. Once I stir, so does he.
“Hey.” His morning voice is gruff and sexy, but his face shows concern as he lifts his head to search my face.
“Hey,” I whisper back. I’m not sure how to handle this. Should I kiss him? Should I get up? I’m supposed to work today, but I think I’ve earned a sick day.
He lays his head back, drops his arm that is around me, and asks as he stares up at the ceiling with a frown on his face, “Are you sure about this V?” I start to pull away from him, but he pulls me back. “I don’t want you to get the wrong impression, just you were so upset last night. I know I said some harsh things yesterday, and it kills me to say this, but if this isn’t what you want... If you still want him... Fuck this is so hard. I’ll understand.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Xander. Not just because I promised, but because this is where I want to be.” I lean forward placing my lips on his. He cups my head and pulls me in closer. He is gentle, not pushing for anything more than this. I know he will be patient. Gentle Xander is so full of passion, and it explodes in our kiss. I swear it is the best kiss of my life. I don’t want it to stop, but I need to breathe, and nature calls.
With a genuine smile on my face, I pull back. When I try to remove his arm, he asks, “Trying to run away from me already?” He asks with a shy smile on his face that pops one of his dimples.
Yep, my panties are now soaked. I shake my head to clear some very lust-filled thoughts and bite down on my lip to keep the embarrassing moan from escaping that just his smile has drawn out of me. I don’t have to worry about the physical attraction between us. My throat is dry when I pant out, “Bathroom.”
He takes a deep breath in before saying, “Mmmm... You smell delicious.” I watch the sheet rise at his center, but he drops his arm to release me. I nearly stumble over my suitcase that I drag behind me into the bathroom, because I’m too busy thinking about the monster growing between his legs.
Ten minutes later, I have done my business, freshened up, and changed into something much sexier than the leggings and oversized T-Shirt I wore to the Fury house. When I make my entrance, I expect to get a big reaction, but he is asleep. I don’t think he has slept much the last few days. He is currently spread out arms and legs wide on the bed. He has a smile on his face and from the looks of the tent in the sheets, his dream picked up where we left off.
I carefully pull the sheet back to uncover the source of the tent. It is a magnificent-looking thing. Thick, long and, I’m hoping, at full attention. There couldn’t be any possibility that it gets any bigger than that. I kneel between his legs and grasp him with one hand. My fingers won’t even connect around his girth. A soft moan escapes him as I pull him towards my mouth. Starting with the tip I run my tongue around the crown and then along his slit tasting the salty goodness that lingers there.
His eyes shoot open as I let out a moan at the taste of him. “Please,” He gasps at me just as I pull more of him into my mouth. He places his hand in my hair, but he lets me set my pace. He’s letting me control this. I shift to move my weight to my other arm to take more of him in and I wince. He sits up, pulling me from him before holding my hand with feather-like pressure.
“What happened?” He asks with concern in his voice. How he could be worried about my hand right now is beyond me.
So not the conversation I wanted to be having right now. He tenderly pulled me forward, so I am straddling him with his hardness pressed between us. One arm is wrapped around my back with a loose grip on my rear, and the other is still examining my hand. “I slapped X.”
A small smile graced his face, “That must have been one hell of a slap.” His nostrils flare in realization, “What did my asshat of a brother say to you that caused you to slap him.” I just shook my head. “V, you have a tough time killing fire ants when they are biting you. I know he said something that he deserves a lot worse than the hit you landed on him.”
“Xander just leave it alone. We both said things last night that were below the belt. It was a hell of a slap though.” I smile at him before I grind against him. My hand doesn’t hurt that bad and I have other activities in mind that do not involve me going upstairs to the clinic or chasing behind Xander as he goes after X.
“What does my Kitten want?” He asks with a sexy growl. I only respond with another roll of my hips. His hand tightens on my rear, and he is lifting me. I’m hovering over his tip, and he is soon lowering me slowly down his shaft. Thankfully, I am dripping wet at this point because I’m still amazed that he fits in me. He nears the base and I feel myself bottoming out. He presses up putting pressure on my cervix. I have never felt so full in my life, my eyes are watering from the ecstasy that is flooding through me. Then he starts to move. “Let me know if it’s too much. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Dumbfounded I nod and moan back an incoherent response. As I adjust to his size, I move with him. Our speed has picked up and he slides a hand between us. His thumb rubs circles over my clit until I’m seeing stars, “Oh Gooooooooooddddddddeeeeesssssss!” I scream out crumbling into his chest, but he is still pounding me from below setting me into another round of euphoria that has left me speechless. Then I feel it. Hot liquid explodes inside of me, but he doesn’t stop, just slows our pace.
“You okay Kitten?” His mouth is at my ear as a sexy growl follows his words and vibrates my whole body causing aftershocks to roll through my body.
Panting I respond, “How are you still hard?” I would be embarrassed if I could feel anything other than pure bliss at this moment.
Another growl rips through his chest, but it feels more like a purr. “I’m just getting started with you Kitten. I hope you got plenty of rest last night. I’m going to fuck you till you faint.”