All But Rejected Mate (EDITED/COMPLETED)

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Chapter 21: Home

Chapter 21: Home (Lexi’s POV)

I’m rocking in a chair in the nursery when I hear the door open and slam close. I waddle to through the living room and come face to face with Xand. His hands are full with boxes and an extra-large duffle bag slung over his shoulder.

He startles when he sees me. “Oh shit. Sorry I didn’t wake you did I?”

“Why would you have woken me up? It’s like two in the afternoon.” I respond with a dumbfounded look on my face.

“Umm... You’re pregnant. Pregnant chicks nap right?” He’s standing here with full hands having a full-blown conversation with me. If it were me I would have had to put that shit down, but he standing there like it’s no problem.

“Oh, no I wasn’t napping. I was just sitting in the nursery.” His smile falls. “So are you moving back in?” I ask trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, I hope that’s okay.”

“You do realize this is your house right?” I can’t believe if he just asked that it’s okay if he is here.

“It is, but the last time I lived here I overstepped my boundaries. Or at least Lucifer did. I’m sorry about that by the way. Had I of known I would have never come home.” His shoulders are slumped like he is defeated.

I don’t want to think about the fact that there is still a small chance that this could be his pup. The larger possibility is that it’s X’s, but... “I don’t blame you for that. And I have no problem with you being here.”

“Good because I can’t stand being in my apartment or the Mad Room.” He looks like he hasn’t been sleeping. “I’ve spent the last week sleeping on the couch in my office. Let’s just say it’s a good-looking couch but not very comfortable to sleep on.”

“Why are you now just coming back then,” He just shrugged. “What’s the Mad Room.”

“My room at the clinic. I’ve stayed there on and off. Whenever I’ve been in a dark place. She helped me decorate it. It’s Alice In Wonderland-themed. Too many memories their right now.” He rushes out as if he is trying to not think too hard about who he was referring to. My guess is that V will be referred to as “She who must not be named” for the foreseeable future.

“I get it. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nothing to talk about. She found her mate. It’s as the Goddess always intended. Just like when you met X.” He moves into the living room and finally sets his stuff down.

“I promised her before she left that I would be here for you, so if you need to talk, I’m your friend.” I put a hand on his shoulder and I realize that the initial attraction that I had for him is gone.

“Thanks, Lex. I need that right now. I need to work on myself. I need to work on my mental health. I do think we finally found something that works though.”

“That’s what I’m told. I don’t know what you were like before, and I can tell you have demons, but they seem to be tamed.”

“For the most part, they are. I’m sad that they are gone. I had a small taste of what happiness was, but I always knew that there was a time limit on it. I had just hoped that the Goddess would have let me meet my pup.” He gives me a small smile before grabbing his stuff to carry it upstairs.

I don’t know what pushed me to ask, “Were you in love with her?”

“More than she will ever know.” He responds as he disappears up the stairs.

My heart breaks for him. If anyone in the world deserves a shot at happiness, it’s Xander. I hope that one day he will find someone that will make him whole again.

Later that night when X returns he looks beat. He has been quiet this week, but while he has only spoken more than a few words to me, he has been very affectionate. He has been very touchy-feely. Not in a sexual way exactly, but more so intimate touches.

As he walks in, I am laying on the couch but I sit up to greet him. Without a word, he sits where I had been laying. He pulls me back so that he is now my big muscly pillow. He plants a kiss on the top of my head and sets to rubbing my shoulders. It feels amazing. It’s like he knows exactly how to make me feel better. This is something a friend would do right?

A low moan escapes me and I feel something stir against my back. In an instant, I am sitting up and putting some distance between us. I can’t slip up and fall into bed with this man again. He doesn’t want me like that. He never will. I already have the mate pull and all these damn pregnancy hormones messing with my head. I don’t need misread signals to cloud my head even more.

Deciding it would be better to talk than run since all I can do is waddle with this belly anyway, I ask, “Did you know that Xand moved back in today?”

He nodded. His eyes are still pure black with lust, but there are also purple circles under his eyes. Has he not been sleeping either.

“Okay.” Well, that was just a lovely conversation. I go to get up, but he circles my wrist with his hand. He closes his eyes and when he opens them they return to their beautiful green color.

“Stay, please.” His voice is barely a whisper.

“Are you okay?” I ask not sure what is going on with him.

“I’m fine.” He responds a little too quickly. Like it’s an automatic response.

“You don’t look fine.” Well I mean he looks delicious, but that’s beside the point. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” The words are spoken deep with no room for argument. “Nevermind.” He mumbles as he gets up from the couch and leaves the room. The sound of something smashing comes from the direction of the kitchen. By the time I manage to get up from the couch and waddle to that room, he is gone and one of the stools from the island is missing.

What the hell is his problem. What did I do to piss him off? While I’m contemplating this Xand descends the stairs.

“You okay I thought I heard something.” He asked his voice full of concern.

“I’m fine.” I sigh and add, “Have you noticed... I don’t know... I’m worried about X.” I finally say feeling defeated.

“We have all been a little off this week. It’ll get better. Or at least I hope it will.” Xand says looking as defeated as I feel. He lays an arm around my shoulder and pulls me in for a halfhearted hug.

The stair creeks and I look up to find X staring at Xand and me. Xand quickly lowers his arm and takes a step away as X lets out a low growl.

“Just what I thought. You push me away, but you let him put his hands all over you.” His eyes are black again, but this time in anger.

“Whoa, hold on,” Xand replied with his hands up in surrender. “I was strictly within friend zone areas bro.”

“Right. I’m sure you were.” X fires back.

“X, it was nothing. Why are you so mad right now.” I ask, but realize that may have been the wrong question.

“Why am I so mad?” He asks as if I were stupid. His voice is ice cold.

I’ve had enough of this shit tonight. I’m tired, my back hurts, and I just want to go put my feet up but fuck it. I ask the question again. “That is what I asked. Why are you mad right now?”

Another growl rips from his chest. I watch as his muscles ripple as if he is trying to contain not only his anger but also his wolf. “Do you know how many times I have walked into this kitchen to find you in his arms?” He yells and points as he points a finger towards Xand. “You are my mate, not his.”

My anger and blood pressure start to rise. I should not be working myself up like this, but he has a lot of nerve. “Well, that’s news to me, because I haven’t been treated like your mate since we met.”

He starts to speak but he wears a face of pure anger. He looks like he is struggling to string together words that just won’t form in his current state.

Since I’m already yelling at him I might as well continue and get this off my chest. “No, come back to that, right, because you know it’s the truth. You got stuck with me. The mate you never wanted. The pup you fathered only out of duty to your family.” I was breathing hard. I needed to calm down but I couldn’t. My wolf wanting to come out and shred this asshole for the nerve of being mad at me.

X just stares at me as if I have grown a second head. I take a few deep breaths and I feel a tear form and trail down my cheek. “It’s fine though. In a few weeks, our pup will be here and we can then be released from this hell that is being mates. Then... Then I can go home.” My voice cracks as the last word escapes me. I’m so tired of this. I want to go home. I want my mom to hug me and hold me as I cry over this idiot of a man.

“Home.” He breathes the word as if I just kneed him in the balls.

“Yes home,” I say as I push past him and do my best to stomp away as I waddle to my room. Shutting and locking the door behind me. I lay on my bed and let the tears flow. The tears that I have held in for having a mate that doesn’t love me. For being stuck with an asshole that is still hung up on his ex. For being jealous of V. She has a mate that she’s with, but she also has the heart of both of the men that live in this house. Even with her gone, I can’t compete with the memory of her.

A small knock comes through my door. I’m not sure which brother it is, but I don’t care. It doesn’t matter anymore as soon as my pup is here, we will leave. I can raise her to be a proper Alpha from Arizona. She does not need to be infected by this fucked up family. When it’s her turn to take over, she can return then. It’s not like X ever really wanted this anyway.


*******(X’s POV)*******

“Home.” What does she mean by home? I feel as if that one word has knocked all the air out of me. I don’t even try to stop her as she pushes past me. Shock. That’s what this is. She wants to leave.

I have been so wrapped up in my own shit that I hadn’t stopped to consider if she would even want me. I just assumed she would. Fuck. Xand is right. I’ve been acting just like my dad. What the fuck is wrong with me.

My feet carry me to her room and I knock lightly but loud enough on the door for her to hear me. She may answer thinking it’s Xand. I left him standing in the kitchen with his mouth hanging open. She doesn’t answer though. She doesn’t even acknowledge the knock. I can hear her soft cries through the door as I lay my head against the wood.

I am such an idiot. Before I can cause her any more pain, I rip myself from her door. Not even looking up at Xand as I ascend the stairs to my room. I crawl into bed with a heavy heart. My head won’t stop replaying how she looked when she said home. She was so mad. So hurt.

I am not a good man. I have come to that conclusion. I had put my claim on V for years. All but marked her as my own, but I never had any intention of making her mine. Never had any intention of giving her what she wanted. Even if she didn’t have a mate out there, I have just been that selfish. I know V being gone is killing Xand but I am happy that one of us was man enough to be good to her. There were times where I thought that I had loved her. Looking at my brother now, I know that I may have loved V but I was never in love with her.

When it comes to Lexi I still don’t know how I feel. Could I be the man that she needs? The kind of man an incredible woman like her deserves. I know she’s too good for me. That I’ve not been the kind of person who deserves a chance much less a second chance.

It would be wrong of me to ask her to stay. I fear that I could never be the man she deserves. My feelings are all mixed up. Is this the mate bond? Is this burning in my chest when she enters a room real? Every touch that sets my skin on fire. I can barely stand to be away from her these last few weeks. The feel of her in my arms is better than any I have ever felt. Do I fight this? Do I become my father if I do? She doesn’t want me. Do I even get a choice?

My head runs in confused circles. By morning I have yet to sleep. I have another meeting with the new Alpha’s this morning. This time was by video conference. I stop by Lexi’s door on my way out. I knock. “Lex, can we please talk?” No answer. I wait and wait. I knock again. “I’m sorry Lex,” I say before I walk away. Slowly.

I listened as I walk towards the door on my way out. Barely breathing. Hoping she’d decide to hear me out. It didn’t happen. I hang my head in frustration as I walk to my office at the Packhouse.

The meeting with the Alpha’s is long and tedious. Xand sits across from me. I think he is more stoned then than present in the meeting. I can only imagine how hard it is to listen to the asshole, that now has your whole world, talk for hours. We have worked out some fair trades and we are nearing the end of the call.

For Xand I have to ask, “So Conner, how is V adjusting to life in Texas.”

Conner had worn a cocky expression until this moment. His expression changes to an evil leer that is accompanied by a low growl. “My mate is none of your business anymore.” The video chat ends abruptly.

I look to Xander with a questioning look. A few minutes after the meeting my computer dings with a direct message from Conner. I open it to find the following message.

Conner Briggs: HELP ME. CONNER IS NOT A GOOD MATE.

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