All But Rejected Mate (EDITED/COMPLETED)

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Chapter 23: Already Gone 

Chapter 23: Already Gone (X’s POV)

Drip... Beep... Drip... Beep...

The constant sound of machines is all the hope I have had for well over a month. The damage done that night had been more than one body should have lived through.

A claw puncture of the lung. Skin ripped from his body. Teeth marks mar battered flesh. All healed now. Your body looks whole again, but you still sleep. My other half. Will I ever feel whole again if you don’t wake?

I sit and talk with my brother even though I doubt he can hear me. Maybe he can. He is the only one left who would listen. I fucked everything up.

Yes, I am Alpha now. Not just because Xand couldn’t handle the pressure. I now hold the full power. Apollo Eclipse Pack all bow to me. They look to me as their leader. They look to me as their role model and I feel that pour through the Pack-link.

After their previous Alpha showed his true colors, the Pack looks for a better man. A true leader. As I look at what I have done with my life thus far, I fear I am not much better than him.

I pushed my mate into an agreement. There shouldn’t be agreements like that between mates. Xand was right I should have been all in or rejected Lexi from the start. If I had maybe I wouldn’t feel as shitty as I do now.

I tell Xand the story of what happened after Conner was slain and he was secured in the ICU.

“Thank the Goddess Jax, you are here.” I breathe out as I see my father’s former Beta approach. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since I left Elders Island, but each moment since I saw Xand laying at the bottom step has been filled with one horror after another. Xand’s heart has stopped at least three times since then.

Jax pulls me in for a hug. I needed this. I needed someone who is family, someone to hold me together. Jordan is here with me, but he has been with V while I have been with Xand.

“I need to tell you something.” Jax looks like he has aged 10 years in the last day.

“He’ll be okay Jax. He has to be.” I assure Jax, even though I’m not so sure myself.

“I’ve already talked to the doctors.” He tells me, taking the seat I had been sitting in just before he arrived. “That’s not why I’m here.”

Confused I ask, “Okay... Then why are you here?”

“X you need to go home. I will stay with Xand.”

He barely gets the words out before I start to argue. “I will not leave him.”

Jax holds up his hand to stop me. “Lexi had her pup.”

My whole world stopped. What is he talking about. It’s too early. Lex still has a few weeks before she is due. I open my mouth and quickly close it. Not sure what to say because I know Jax would never joke about something like this.

“I will stay with him. Go be with your mate and your pup.” His voice is stern. He challenges me to argue with him.

I turn from him to go make arrangements to head back to Elders Island.

“X,” I turn back to Jax as I reach the end of the hall, “Don’t repeat your father’s mistakes.”

I nod in response. Arrangements were made and I was in Elders’ maternity ward within six hours of finding out my daughter was here.

Lexi was asleep when I entered her room. A see-through bassinet was set next to her bed. It looks as if she fell asleep watching our daughter sleep. The site is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. My heart swells. I feel tears fall to the scruff that has grown out on my chin.

My first glimpse of my daughter brings a fresh wave of emotions and more tears. Mikey stirs in the back of our head as he takes in her delicate scent. “Mine”. Yes, she is ours. Out of all of our selfish motives we helped create the most beautiful baby girl. I reach out a hand and gently brush a single finger down her cheek. The power of our familiar bond already has me in her grip. She already has her daddy wrapped around her tiny finger. I am so fucked, but I love the feeling of it.

My eyes travel to a card at the end of the cart that says Baby Girl Izza Fury. My heart almost stops. Lexi named her after my mom. I told Lexi that it was her choice what to name her. That my dad had named my brother and me while my mom was knocked out. I knew that this was unfair to my mom, so I didn’t want to influence a decision that Lexi had more than earned.

Lexi stirs on the bed causing me to tear my eyes from our daughter. A protective growl emits from her chest until she recognizes me in her sleepy state.

“Xavier, what are you doing here?” She asks her voice is defensive. I don’t blame her.

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” I look back down at baby Izza. There is nowhere else I would rather be right now. After the horrors of the past day, I needed something good, and this is the best kind of happiness I could have ever asked for. My daughter is here and she looks happy and healthy.

“I only ask because I heard about Xand and V. Are they...” She trailed off.

“They are stable,” I respond quickly. Not ready to go into detail. Not ready to leave this perfect moment.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” I whisper while taking a seat on the edge of her bed. I reach out to put a hand on her leg, but she pulls away.

Lexi looks me dead in the eye. She is still angry with me. I would do anything at this moment to take back everything I did. I know now that I should have claimed her the moment I caught her scent. She is perfect. The compliment to my every flaw. Mikey growls in my head. “Mine.”

“I, Alexis Naomi Parks, reject you, Alpha Xavier Davis Fury, as my mate.” Lexi’s words are cold. She says them through gritted teeth.

I want to tear the room apart. She’s doing this now. I don’t want this. I don’t want to accept this. I am frozen in my place trying to control my actions. Trying to control my wolf who wants to burst from my chest. The sight of my daughter a mere foot in front of me keeps me from making any rash movements.

“Is this what you really want?” I look up at her. Trying to see this from her side. I have never given her a reason to stay. Never given her a reason to think I wanted more. Never given her a reason to think that there were options outside of our original agreement. I have never given her anything. I only took what I wanted. I am the worst example of a mate.

“Yes.” Her response is firm. My mate wants to reject me. Every part of my body and mind wants to deny her request.

Jax’s parting words fill my mind. “Don’t repeat your father’s mistakes.”

My mother lied for years about being our nanny because she knew my father would never accept rejection. He kept her caged. I won’t do that to Lex. If she wants to be free, I will grant her that wish. I will let go. We got into this because of what I wanted. She is in control now. I will give her whatever she wants. This is my fault, to begin with.

“If you are sure about this,” I look deep into her eyes. Looking to see if there is any uncertainty in her dazzling green eyes. There isn’t. I have already lost her. She is already gone. “I, Alpha Xavier Davis Fury, accepted your rejection as your mate. Alexis Naomi Parks, you are free of me.”

The pain in my chest doubles, then triples. It continues to increase until I feel as if my heart will never beat again. I try to drag in a breath but find no relief. My feet find the floor and I am out of the room before I can blink. Shifting into my wolf does not ease any of my pain. We howl as our heart shatters.

I continue to talk to Xand as if he were awake. As if he would offer some advice. There is no change in the steady rhythm from the monitors here at the Pack hospital in Apollo Eclipse. My new Pack home.

“Lexi e-mailed me an agreement for visitation of Izza,” I tell him. “A fucking e-mail. Now that she’s back with her parent’s pack in Arizona, she seems to have forgotten how to use a phone.”

I take a deep breath and continue “I’m going to stay here Xand. It’s closer to them. So I need you to wake up. I need you to take back what has always been yours. You have always been the better man for the job anyway.”

An erratic beep pulls me out of my troubles. Xand starts to thrash in his bed. I scream for help and the room is filled with staff. “Alpha we need space. Let us take care of him.” One of the nurses tells me as she guides me out of the room.

Ten minutes. Ten long minutes later the nurse returns to tell me, “Your brother is awake.”

“What?” My breath is caught in my throat.

“He’s awake,” She says with a kind smile. “He was resisting the respirator. That’s why he was thrashing around. He is asking for you.”

I give her what I hope is a thankful smile and dash around her. I open the door to Xand’s room and find him fighting against the restraints from his bed.

“Xand, you need to calm down.” My voice booms over everyone and Xand relaxes some.

“They won’t let me up. I need to find V. I need to make sure she is okay.” He grunts as he continues to try to fight his way from the bed.

“Everyone leave us.” I use my Alpha tone so no one can even think to argue. Once they are all gone I sit in the chair next to Xand. I watch as he works to losses his restraints. I don’t try to stop him, but instead, I tell him, “It’s not going to do you any good.”

He stops all movement, “What do you mean. Tell me she’s okay. Tell me her pup is okay.”

I look to the floor. I never wanted to be the one to give him the bad news. Never wanted to have to hurt him with the truth. He’s going to lose it. If it were up to me I would wait but there is no stopping this now.

“V is okay.” My voice has almost a question in it, because while she has physically healed, mentally she is not great. “She is back at Elders. The pup though. It didn’t make it. It was gone before we even got here.”

Xand drops his head in his hands. “This is all my fault.” He starts to pull on his restraints again. “I need to get out of here. I need to speak to her, hold her.”

I put a hand on his shoulder and hold his gaze with my eyes. “She doesn’t want to see you.” I had begged V to come visit. She said she couldn’t she wasn’t ready. She made me promise to help her. To help her have some space while she dealt with her grief.

“She hates me. I ruin everything I touch. I never deserved her. I never will.” Tears are streaming down his face. He looks every bit of a broken man. I wish, as I have for years, that I could fix him. Make him whole again.

“V just needs some time to heal. Give that to her.” He nods not sure if he really hears me. “You’ve been out for almost two months. A lot has changed. When you’re ready, we need to talk about a few other things.”

“What else has happened,” Xand demands, but Alpha to Alpha doesn’t work like that. I am no longer his Beta pretending to be Alpha.

“I don’t want to pile everything on you at once. Get some rest. We will talk more tomorrow.” I stand to leave. He needs to rest.

Xand finally manages to get his arms free from the restraints and grabs ahold of my shirt. “As you said, I have been out for months now. I have rested plenty. Tell me what else is going on.”

I sigh and sit back down, “When I killed Conner, I became Alpha of Apollo Eclipse Pack.”

“So you are what, going to leave our Pack for these assholes that almost killed V and I.” There is a growl behind his words.

“They were acting on their Alpha”s orders. And I need to stay Xand. It’s not just about the Packs.” I feel defeated. Disappointing Xand, leaving my home. This was never my choice.

“Enlighten me then about why you are leaving us.” His jaw is tight and he is not looking at me.

I want to punch him in the face. I know he feels like I am abandoning him, but I need to do this for me. For my pup. For Lexi. “Lexi rejected me.”

His head snaps towards me, staring at me like he can’t believe what he is hearing.

“She had our pup and then rejected me. She is in Arizona now with her. I need to be closer to protect them. To protect what’s mine. Even if Lexi doesn’t want me she will always be mine. Rejection will never change that. I have been so stupid. Your not the only brother that feels like they have ruined everything.” These are the regrets I get to live the rest of my life with. I didn’t make my father’s mistakes, but I made a lot of my own. So did Xand. Maybe the next generation will get it right.

“I’m sorry. I’m being selfish. You are right. This is where you need to be. It’s time for me to take back Elders. You should have never had to take over anyway.” He leans his head back.

I pat him on his shoulder. “I’m gonna let you rest now. We can talk more later.” Xand nods as I leave the room.

There is a shuffling noise in the hallway that catches my attention as I close the door. My little brother Jordi has a woman pressed against the wall. The nurse from earlier who had a kind smile. “Jordi, what’s going on?”

Jordi turns to face me and growls. “Mine.”

I put my hands up to show no harm intended. “Treat her well little bro.”

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