Talk to Me
Song - Talk to Me by Stevie Nicks
“Please, leave me alone,” I sob into my pillow.
“It’s me, Bea,” dad’s voice is soft on the other side of my door.
Mom and Ash have been trying for the last hour to get me to open the door but I can’t face them.
I pull myself from my bed and unclick the lock. My head feels swollen and heavy. I fall back into my bed and try to calm myself.
“Bea,” dad’s voice makes my lip quiver, “It’s not you. I know it’s hard for you to believe that but I can see the same fear and confusion in him I had when I met your mom. I’m so sorry that everything is the perfect fairytale that you deserve but it’s not your fault...it’s his.”
“Why did he leave, Dad?”
“He has to take care of things at home, Bea. He was informed of an attack against our pack. He needs to go handle things on that end.”
“Why didn’t he tell me that? Why doesn’t he tell me anything? He won’t let me in.”
“Maybe, he’s afraid of what you’ll see, I want to crush him like a bug when he makes you cry but I was him, baby. I thought your mom would learn the truth about me and run for the hills. I was confused and full of hatred, then I met her and it’s like there was color in the world again. I was so afraid of losing that, so I shut her out and lied to her.”
I wipe my eyes on my sleeve.
“You know, someone told him that all wolves are greedy and hateful. He expected to come here to find a lawless wasteland where everyone is cruel.”
“Wolves killed his father when he was very young, Bea. I was eighteen when my parents died and grief twisted my mind around. I can’t imagine what it could do to a small child.”
I lunge into dads arms, holding his shirt tightly.
“I love you, dad.”
“I love you, baby, more than you will ever know. I have to believe that everything will work out in the end.”
I snort and look up at him, “you sound like mom.”
He laughs, “I guess I do. Her positivity is growing on me.”
“What should I do?”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to go to him. I know he left but... I think it was the wrong choice. He needs to stop running away and blocking me out.”
“Give him a few days, let him sort out whatever he thinks he needs to do away from you.”
“Are you ready for the attack?”
This time he snorts, “are you joking? We’re actually looking forward to it. It’s been awhile since we had any action aside from a drill. These fuckers have no idea who they’re messing with. I need you to stay with your mom, just in case.”
“Of course,” I smile at him as he squeezes me before standing.
I feel better after our talk but my body and my wolf feel physically weak. He didn’t mark me and then he left, the bond is wreaking havoc on me.
This is worse than the first week after we met. I can’t keep anything down and I have no strength left.
It doesn’t matter how long I stand under the shower or how many times I scrub my skin raw, I can still smell him. I can feel his touch, the tips of his fingers sweeping over my body.
I wonder if it’s the same for him. If he’s suffering like I am. I watch the hours tick by in a strange sort of slow motion. I must have fallen asleep around four because my phone ringing woke me at five.
My eyes burn and my vision is blurry. I can’t see the name on the screen but my heart lurches in my chest.
“Leo,” my voice cracks and I hear him inhale a sharp breath like I slapped him.
“Bea, I’m so sorry. I can feel you, how sick you are. I feel the same way, baby. I’m trying to fix this but I’m too weak to do anything.”
“Just talk to me, hearing your voice helps, tell me anything,” my cracked, dry voice shakes.
“When I was a kid I used to watch human movies about vampires and I would get so angry at how they would portray us. Pale and sickly, afraid of sunlight, they actually have us turning into bats.”
“What about us? Instead of being a wolf they have us shift into these hideous human-wolf hybrid things.”
“Well, I’ve never been in a coffin in my life,” he jokes quietly.
We both chuckle weakly into the phone. The hurt is still there but his voice is soothing.
“I miss you,” I whisper but I know he hears it.
“I should have marked you, I should have let you mark me. We would feel this separation but it wouldn’t hurt so bad if I had completed the bond. I’m sorry, Bea. I keep trying to do the right thing and it turns out wrong.”
“You want to mark me?”
A strange sound comes from the back of his throat.
“Of course I want to mark you. I know I’ve been closed off but... it’s not because of you. I told you I’m being buried alive right now. I want to mark you so much it’s consuming me.”
“Maybe, if you tell me, I can help you.”
“If I tell you, you’ll hate me. I can’t bear the thought of you hating me.”
“I don’t know what’s going on but I can promise you, I won’t ever hate you. Let me help you. We’re stronger together.”
“I’ll tell you when you get back. I promise. It has to be in person.”
“Ok” I concede, knowing that I’ll be there much sooner than he thinks.
“Is your pack ready?”
“For the attack? Yes. Don’t worry about that, we have more warriors here than any other pack in the country.”
“You’ll be safe? You’re weak right now,” his voice is strained and full of worry.
“I promise. Dad is having me stay back with mom.”
“Your dad’s a good guy, Bea. I’m glad I met him.”
I can’t help the smile that stretches across my face.