A Warriors Heart

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What's your name again?


I thrust my hips forward roughly, pushing myself into the back of her throat. She gags around me and my spine starts to burn and tingle.

"Fuck," I groan, gripping her hair tighter, guiding her mouth over my cock. I pump forward while bringing her head forward at the same time. She shifts on her knees, trying to steady herself against my rough, fast paced assault.

I start to feel impatient, this is taking forever. Getting my dick sucked used to have me cumming in minutes. Eventually, I had to fuck the girls face to cum. Now, even that's becoming a bore. Fuck.

I work my hips faster, finally feeling the tension building in my abdomen.

I grunt as the impossible pressure releases and I spurt down her throat. She coughs and gags as I release her hair from my grip.

She runs her hands over my legs as she stands. She's a mess, cum, drool and tears are all over her chin and cheeks. Fuck.

"Not tonight, sweetheart," I pat her shoulder, "I have an early morning."

"What the fuck?" Her voice wobbles.

I groan internally, please, don't get emotional. As I walk toward the door she gasps, "You are such a fucking prick, Cole!"

"Yes, that's true, but you already knew that, didn't you, Stacey."

She hurls a large book from her shelf at my head, "my name is Stephanie!" She screams.

Oops, shit.

Another book flies into the door as I quickly pull it closed behind me.

I chuckle as I sit on my motorcycle, I was nearly sure her name was Stacey.

I ride down the dark empty roads, forcing myself to think about the most recent mission. Most of the time I can block it out. Sometimes when I'm alone my mind will drift there subconsciously.

I'll be thirty seven soon. For a few years I searched around frantically, every mission we went on, I would look for my mate. Eventually, I gave up. I don't have one. Instead, I dedicated my life to training warriors and helping packs that are in trouble.

Fuck mates and fuck the Moon Goddess.

My bike roars down the winding roads toward the packland. I have a meeting with Elijah in a few hours and I need to shower. I can't show up with what's-her-names smell all over me. I'm sick of him giving me shit about my "debauchery."

I don't have a mate so I'm supposed to die a virgin? I don't fucking think so.

I remember when he met Sorsha, I wasn't old enough to find a mate yet but I was so ready after seeing them. He fucked up so bad and she loved him anyway, but that wasn't my fate.

As I park my bike I see Elijah and Sorsha walking toward the packhouse. She sees me and gives me a sad smile. Shit. Why are they awake right now?

"My office," Elijah shouts without looking at me.

I follow them up to his office. I can feel tension rolling off of Elijah, somethings definitely wrong.

When I get to the office the door is cracked open and they're seated at his desk. Beta Julian is so here. Shit.

"My son, Lucas called, his mates father was killed and the Beta of his pack is saying it was rogues. He didn't want to discuss it over the phone but he doesn't believe that to be true. Julian, you're watching the pack, Cole and I are going out as support while this gets figured out. We're wheels up in one hour."

I nod and stand, going to grab my go-bag. I feel that familiar buzz, the high of a mission. I live for this, the hunt, the planning, the attack.
Let's do this shit.

When I get back to my room I rummage through my closet, looking for something clean to throw on after a shower.

I rush through a shower, eager to get on the road. I used to feel an excited tug, a longing, whenever we would go somewhere new, a secret hope, deep down, that I would find my mate, that's been gone for years.

When I meet Elijah at the car he looks irritable, which is normal if he's looking at anyone other than his mate or kids.

"Where were you tonight?"

I sigh, here we go, the third degree.


"When you find her you're going to regret all this shit."

I snort, "find who, man? I'm almost forty. I have accepted that I don't have a mate. Why can't you? I can fuck as I please. Give it a rest!"

He sighs and drives the rest of the way to the airfield in silence. I know how much he loves his mate, I've had a front row seat for twenty years. He wants that for me, I can't be mad at him for that, it just isn't in the cards. He still has hope for some reason, mine shriveled and died years ago. Waiting, longing, I can't do that shit, it makes my wolf weak.

I had to push it aside and learn to live without it. I refuse to wait around, to spend my life wanting someone that doesn't fucking exist.

When we board the plane I see him texting her, letting her know we made it safely to the airfield. He'll text again when we land. Then when we make it to the packlands. Then several times a day while we're there.

I used to give him shit for it but over the years I've grown to respect their communication.

I pass out as soon as we take off, falling into the same, restless, dreamless sleep I've had every night for years.

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