The Resting Place
When I opened my eyes, only a blanket of soft, calming blue surrounded me. I looked above and below me… nothing. I floated slowly and peacefully in this sky-like atmosphere. I felt like my mind and body were still in a sleeping state. Only feelings of tranquillity entered my body and mind. Not even thoughts of Ruth entered my psyche; I felt protected.
My body and mind were waking up slowly now, becoming more aware of my surroundings. I started to move my arms and legs in a graceful manner like a ballerina. I then started to swim across the open blue space to see if I could find any other life forms. I felt like I was flying for days: the best days of my life.
All sorts of creatures were now starting to come about, one by one. In an instant they would appear right before me. All the creatures had one thing in common, and that was wings. I too now had wings and began gliding through the sea of blue. The creatures sometimes appeared to be birds, but not all of them looked like birds. Some even had two heads, or no head, or even other animal heads such as a bear, or a dolphin. It was as if all the creatures of Earth had been given wings and put here in this soothing atmosphere.
I came upon a large, shiny white gate that rested in cloud-like figures. This picture looked much like the ones you see on television that represent the fabled “golden gates” to heaven, except they were not golden. I became frightened now because I thought maybe I had died, and had been sent to heaven. This cannot be true. I still have too much to live for, to learn.
“You are right, my sweet child,” a stunning large bird appeared at the gates. It was also blue like the sky but glistened like silver. The bird’s face transformed from a long beak to a perfectly proportioned woman’s face. It was soft and nurturing like a mother’s. Her eyes too emanated a graceful, compassionate aura. Her body transformed into a glowing, curvy figure with a sparkling blue dress that draped over it. It flowed so elegantly and danced around her body. Her hair was a soft orange, the colour that her beak once appeared to be. It was long, wavy and flowed beautifully in the wind. Her wings were still there, large and spread out so that I could see each velvety feather. The wings exuded power, yet grace. It was the most striking sight I have ever seen, ‘She must be a goddess’ I thought.
“Thank you but I am not a goddess. Well, not a goddess that people on Earth would think of anyways. My name is Harmony. I am also known as Mother Earth.” She spoke gentle and kindly.
“You are Mother Earth? The one who looks after all the creatures and plants and water and soil and-“
“Yes, my child, I am what humans call Mother Earth. Although my role on Earth is not what you would think.”
“I must say I am extremely excited to meet you. I love all Earth’s creatures, and I spend many of my days in nature. I am so grateful for what you have given me.”
“Slow down, Elizabeth, you speak too swiftly. Here you must speak as a turtle walks; slow with ease and grace. I have a lot of explaining to do. First, let us discuss why you are here. I have talked to Oochoo and Goasila. Both have had great pleasure interacting with you, and I hope to as well.”
I suffered some momentary confusion because my memory was not intact. I remembered who she was talking about but memories of Earth and the people there were beginning to fade. “I apologize, once foreign life forms enter here, their memory is slowly taken from them. I will explain later but for now, let’s get your memory back.” The Earth Mother then touched my forehead with her wing, and images and voices flew into my mind.
“I can remember now, thank you. However, I am still confused as to why I am here. If you are going to ask me, I do not know.”
Harmony looked at me with love in her eyes and offered me a friendly smirk, “I do not expect you to know why you are here, sweetie. That is my job, to tell you and teach you. First, I want to discuss what happened last night, with your sister. I know it will be a difficult subject for you, but I believe I can give you some comfort.”
Now that I remembered the terrible tragedy, a great sadness rested in my heart. I could not think of anything that Harmony could do to make me feel better. Being in this wonderful place, did give me joy, but I was beginning to think that was because I did not remember things from before. Harmony embraced me with her soft, large wings. A bright white light shone all around me. It felt as though water was pouring over me, washing all the filth that covered the inside and outside of my body. When she let go, I felt refreshed and uplifted. “Thank you. I needed that.”
“You’re welcome. I thought I had better give you a cleansing before we started our heavy conversation. I hope what you are feeling will stay with you. And if it starts to fade, let me know, and we will do it again.”
“Okay. Thank you. I have many questions about my sister. I knew she was not feeling well, but I did not know it was that bad. I wish I had-“
“You are getting ahead of yourself again Elizabeth. Please rest on this.” Harmony pulled out what looked like a great big fluffy cloud. I lay upon it easily, even with my new bird-like stature. “Better?” She asked.
“Yes, much. I am listening now.”
“Good. First, it is very important for you to understand there was nothing that anyone could to do stop what happened. It was Ruth’s destiny, her journey. She lived on Earth for her time being to learn what she had to learn. Normally, when people commit suicide, either they become ghosts or they return to Earth in exactly the same situation. This is because they have to carry through to the end of their destined life in order to learn what they are meant to learn…Elizabeth, this is very important. I am not usually allowed to disperse this kind of information; however, it is vital for your purpose, and for what you will accomplish. Your sister did not kill herself, nor was it an accident. That is why the notes that were left behind were so vague, and without true emotion. Those poems did not come from her broken heart. I am not going to tell you what brought her to her death. You will have to figure that out on your own. However, I hope this will give you some comfort, and I hope you will not blame yourself or anyone else who does not deserve the blame. Even if she did kill herself, she would be the only one to blame. She would have been the one to make this final decision, no one else. Do you understand Elizabeth?”
I was tremendously confused by this information. I knew she had reasons to kill herself but I did not know anyone else had any reasons to kill her. I could not imagine anyone wanting to do such a thing. What could she have done to make someone angry enough to kill her? “Elizabeth? Do you understand? You look confused sweetie. I know it is hard to understand why anyone would do such a thing but it happens often with people living on Earth, too often.”
“But why my sister? She was such a nice person and never wanted to hurt anyone else. She kept to herself and didn’t even interact with very many people. Yeah, sometimes she skipped school, but what kind of reason would that be to kill her?! I am so, so… I don’t know.”
“You have a right to be angry Elizabeth. And you should be. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment, especially your sister. But you must understand Elizabeth that your emotions cannot take over you right now. You need to be strong for Ruth. She needs you more than ever right now.”
“Why? Why me? Right now? If she was murdered that is up to the police to find out right? How can I possibly help with that?” I asked still fuming and flapping my wings in distress.
“You will find a way. I know you will. The police will call it an open and shut case. Everyone knows she was showing symptoms of depression, and they will just assume she killed herself. And because it appears that no one had any reason to kill her, they won’t even try to find a murderer. Not to mention, if anyone starts to ask questions, your father will not allow it.”
“Yes, all that is true but why would my father care? Wouldn’t it look better for him if she didn’t kill herself because many people blame the family or friends for not recognizing signs or getting their loved-one help?”
“You make a good point but your father is more concerned with police snooping about and asking questions. Remember, it is vital for him to keep his secrets and, if the police are around and wanting to pry into the family’s business, keeping secrets will be hard to do.”
“True. Okay, so I still have to ask, what am I supposed to do?”
“I want you to pry into other people’s business, like a detective. But be subtle about it, if people get suspicious you know what they will do.”
“Is that right though? I feel uncomfortable doing that.”
“It is right, for your sister and for you. Even if the person who does it never gets caught, you will know for yourself, and have peace in knowing. Also, like I said, this is important for your development as well,” she said with the outmost certainty.
“I know that I will find out why it is important for me later but what about Ruth? Is this what she wants?”
“Yes it is. She cannot come back to Earth for a new life until this one is resolved. The truth has to come out one way or another. It is her “unfinished business”. She must be comforted that at least one person that loves her knows the truth, or she feels her life has been one big lie.”
I didn’t know what to make of all of this. I felt honoured that she would want me to be the one who found out the truth, but I was also scared. I didn’t want to put my life in danger, but I knew it was for the best. I did not want to go through my life never knowing and like Harmony said, Ruth needed this, which brought me to another question, “Mother Earth?”
“Is this where she will be at peace?”
“No. This is where she waits. All of the creatures you see here are waiting for their old life to be done and their new life to begin.” She said with enthusiasm as her wings fluttered.
“So all of these spirits will come back to Earth?”
“Yes. But not every creature that dies comes here. Some get to move on to other dimensions because their life on Earth has taught them all the valuable lessons they can learn from there. Some creatures are only here for what seems like a few seconds. The spirit is able to be at peace and decide its new life. The ones you see that are here for longer, like Ruth are waiting for something to be done on Earth first, before they can move on.”
“You had said that people who commit suicide become ghosts or go back to Earth and experience the same life right?” I asked, a little suspicious of how everything works.
“That is correct.”
“So are ghosts only made up of spirits that have committed suicide?”
“No. I am sorry. I know it is confusing. Ghosts can be people who have committed suicide. They think they are still living on Earth, playing out what may have been their future, to try to learn what they are supposed to learn so they can move on, but that never works of course. They have to come back as real people to really experience what they should. Other ghosts are sometimes people like Ruth who are just checking in to see if their problem has been resolved yet. Ghosts also can be spirits that are there to guide people, to teach them something. They are from the highest dimension and are trying to help people get to the next level so they don’t have to come back to Earth. Some of these highest dimensional spirits also sometimes come back to Earth as a real creature. They are there to remind all living things why they are on Earth to begin with. The ghosts that are high dimensional spirits are usually there to impact only one or two individuals. These same kinds of entities that come back as real creatures are there to make a large impact on society, the culture or even the world because it seems to be stuck.”
“Are these people like prophets, like Jesus?”
“They can be but not always. Sometimes these people are under the radar, and do not stand out, and perhaps are not even remembered. Other times, they are people who are always in the public eye like celebrities. Sadly, most of these people who are in the public eye end up destroying lives or doing more bad than good. They do not realize the power they have over the many people watching them. They could influence others in the most positive way, but unfortunately, most of the time this burden is too great, so they fall by the wayside.”
“I have always felt that too. Often I ask myself why so many celebrities choose to be bad role models, or better yet, not be good role models. It’s so sad to see so many of the girls my age, and including my sister Sam become so influenced by these celebrities that they destroy their own health just to look like them.”
Harmony looked at me with her loving eyes and spoke softly as she always seemed to do, “I am very happy you are not one of those girls, Liz. As for your sister, I truly wish her the best. Even though you are younger you can have a positive impact. You are very bright Elizabeth, as many of your teachers have told you, although you don’t always get the credit you deserve, especially from your family. Your strong-willed, yet compassionate nature will serve you well. Just ignore the negativity from your family. You are strong enough to get past it, I promise…For now, one of them needs you and that is Ruth. She wants to talk to you now. Would you like to?”
My eyebrows jumped with excitement and I flew up into the air with joy, “Yes, please, that would be incredible!”
She appeared slowly into the air, her eyes first, then the rest of her new-found body. It was one similar to a cardinal. She looked more beautiful than I had ever seen her. She radiated incredible softness like rose petals. Her colour too, like a rose, was red, powerful, passionate and loving. She was in her true light. Her bird self then transformed into the same physical appearance that she had on earth, only this time she exuded the same beauty that her bird-self did. I was so happy to see her in this light. On Earth, her appearance was always dark, tired, and gloomy. She finally was transformed, yet, I was sad that I could not see her this way while she was still alive.
“You must help her move on, or she will not keep this beauty you see alive. She may even fade or become a pesky ghost.” Harmony whispered, knowing my thoughts. Her ability to do this would normally be creepy, but it seemed so natural in the heaven-like surroundings.
“Please Elizabeth, my dear sister. I wish that I reached out to you sooner, but now is not the time for regrets. We both must move on, in a more positive light, and to do this, the truth must be shown.” My sister’s eyes were concerned. She was showing so much maturity, it was if she aged 100 years.
“I will Ruth. And I agree, the truth must be shown. I will do anything you ask. I love you.”
“I love you too. I do not want you to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing, like Harmony said. Be subtle. I know you are able to be discreet. You always seemed to sneak past dad and get out of the house. I even learned some techniques from you.” We both grinned.
“Well, I will agree with you there. I have a knack for going invisible. I never knew you learned some of my techniques though. No wonder, for awhile there, you were always the one going missing.” An uncomfortable pause passed quickly, “Can I ask you a question?”
“You want to know why was I sneaking out all the time?”
“No. Well, kind of. Why did you begin to sneak out all the time?”
She took a heavy sigh, then said, “Well, for the same reasons you did: To get away, to be free, to collect my thoughts.”
“How come you didn't ask me to go with you?” I was now yearning for the closeness we were achieving at the moment, but never got to experience when she was alive.
“I didn't think you wanted me to. I thought you always hated me. Actually I thought everyone did. Also, I figured you wanted to be alone, like I did.” Her face reverted from maturity to a frightened little girl, as I always saw within her on Earth.
“I do like to be alone, but also I wished we could have been closer. And of course I didn't hate you! Nobody hated you.” I was deeply hurt by this, because it seemed impossible that there was even a chance I would hate her, or anyone else.
“I know that now. But, at the time, I felt like that. Maybe because I felt dad hated me so much.” The little girl was still present.
“I wouldn't take that personally, though. He seems to hate everyone. I am sorry for what he did to you.”
“Thank you. But you are not the one to be sorry. Also, you will soon know the hell he put me through. And the torment I am still living. That is why I need you to do this for me, or I just won't feel right.”
“I understand. So what is it exactly you need me to do? Investigate how you died?”
She came into her new found essence again, as she radiated a soft ocean blue haze. “Well, yes and no. I do want you to search for clues, not just in the school, but everywhere. In our house, even in my friend's houses, in the forest- wherever you feel will get you closer to finding out the truth. Follow your gut and your heart. I trust you.”
“Okay. I will search as long as it takes. `` I said determined to make her proud.
``Good. I just hope it won't be too long. I need you to make this one of your priorities. I know school is ending in a couple of months, but I am sure your teachers will understand if you’re not there, and besides you should be in at least 2 grades higher. I rather you spend your time finding out the truth than grieving my death. I am here for you, always, and we will meet on Earth again soon, once the truth comes out.``
Tears kept coming down my face like streams down a steep hill. ``Please don`t cry Liz.``
``I can`t help it…I am going to miss you! ``
``I will miss you too, but remember you will see me a lot in the next while. I want us to be able to communicate during this process, and Harmony will help us. Keep yourself busy, and you won`t miss me so much. I know you - you know how to do that. You can`t stay in your room for more than a half hour. ``
I brushed my tears away gently, and smiled. ``I guess you are right. Now that I have something to investigate, I definitely won't be able to stay in my room. ``
``Good. Well, little sis, I have to go now, but remember I am always here watching over you, with all my love. ``
``I know. And I will be keeping busy, so you can be at peace. ``
Her ambiance faded slowly, with a serene elegance. My heart was moved, beyond explanation. All I could do was cry. Harmony embraced me with her silky soft feathers. I felt as if I was in the womb again: warm, safe, and nurtured. Time was passing so passively, so naturally. There were no distractions, physical or mental. The emotions also started to fade like a river seeping into a still, glass pond.