Matters of the Heart
“Until you get your act together and get your shit figured out, I don’t want to see your face! Now get the fuck out of my office!”
Everyone in the house could clearly hear Farris screaming. Deene sighed as he headed in that direction to see what the problem was now. Just as he arrived, a young warrior-in-training, Ewan, emerged from the office, looking at though he could burst into tears. He fought back the desire, cleared his throat and offered him a bow of respect. Deene nodded at him in return before entering the office and closing the door behind him.
“Is something wrong, Farris?”
“Just putting another pup in his place.” Farris grumbled.
“What did he do?”
“He was late to training this morning?”
Deene was surprised to hear this. Ewan had been a very hard-working and dedicated recruit. He had rarely ever been late to training and even when he was, it was not by much.
“How late was he? What was his reason?” Deene pressed.
“Are you serious? You bit his head off like that because of a minute?”
“Our warriors need to be disciplined and that means being on time.”
“What is going on with you?” Deene, questioned, raising an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?”
“You have been in a bad mood for days now. You have been tearing into wolves for the simplest mistakes. What has you so on edge?”
“I would like to remind you who you are talking to…” Farris growled.
“See…that is exactly what I am talking about. Usually, I can talk to you openly without you going all Alpha on me.”
Farris merely rolled his eyes in response.
“Did something happen?”
Farris ran his hands through his dark hair and then down his face. If he was going to talk to anyone about what had happened, it would be Deene. So, he might as well get on with before he terrifies his pack.
“I kissed her.” He spoke so quietly that he knew Deene would not be able to quite hear him.
“In English please?”
“I kissed her.” Farris repeated more plainly.
“Mystique. I fucking kissed Mystique.”
“Mystique?” Deene paused, processing the information. “You mean, Mysti, the…uh…mutt.” He hesitated to say the last word. He was not one to speak ill of people in such a way and he was also unsure how Farris might react to someone speaking poorly of his mate. He did not wish to be next victim of his wrath.
“Yes. The mutt. I kissed her.” Farris sighed, exasperated.
“Alright…well, last that I checked she is your mate, so there really is not an issue with kissing her. So what exactly is the problem here?” Deene questioned, not understanding how this had caused Farris’s anger.
“I was trying to avoid her. Avoid the whole mate bond until I could make a damn decision. But instead I walked right up to her and kissed her. I told her that I wanted to mark her!” Farris jumped up from his desk and began pacing around his office. “I was going to do it too. The only reason that I didn’t is because she stopped me. She stopped me because she thinks that I am supposed to hate. I am supposed to hate her! But…I…I…well, I don’t hate her.”
Farris felt deflated. There were so many mixed emotions rolling around in his head. He had always been taught to believe one way. Now he was doubting those beliefs. He did not really see anything wrong with Mystique. She may not have been the strongest of wolves, but she had also been deprived all of her life. She could only shift during the night, but was that really such a major problem? He would not want his mate out fighting a battle anyway. He would want her at the pack house. So, did it really matter if she could not be a wolf during the day? Why was that so much of an issue?
Then there came the even bigger issue that Farris had been wrestling with. The Moon Goddess was meant to pair you with your perfect mate, the other half of your soul. They were meant to complete you. Anywhere that you may be lacking, they are meant to fill; just as you do for them. Why would the Moon Goddess have paired him with Mystique if they did not belong together? Was it really his place to question the wisdom of the Moon Goddess? He never had before; why should he now?
“I think that it is time that you make a decision, man.”
“I have been trying. Haven’t you been listening?”
“I have been listening. It sounds to me like you have been trying to come to a logical conclusion on whether or not you should accept your mate. The problem is that there is very little logic in matters of the heart. You need to stop thinking with your head and start thinking about what your heart truly wants. Don’t worry about what your dad would have said or what others might say. Just focus on how you feel and what you want. Do YOU want to be with YOUR mate?”
Farris grew quiet as he contemplated Deene’s words. Deene left him alone with his thoughts, knowing that he needed time to let his words sink in. Deene hoped that he would finally get through to his friend. Mysti had suffered for long enough. Farris either needed to man up and embrace her or finally get the rejection over with. Leaving her to dwell in this limbo was simply not fair.