“No matter how big the lie is,
Repeat it often enough and the masses will regard it as
- John F. Kennedy
“You are more like us than you think.”
No, I cannot be. I will not be. My home is with the Organization. It is to my Mistress that my allegiance lies. Only she knows who I really am. Only she knows what I really am. But his words speak the truth. I am different from my colleagues. I have and always will be.
Pack. Alpha. Mate.
The savage primal side of me whispers and taunts, dark tendrils snaking out from the darkest recess of my head. My loyalties trap between two halves of my heart, mind, and soul. Terror, doubt, and confusion eat into my mind. I am dancing along the edge of insanity as I try to push down the emotions, keep them buried.
The noise of the battle around me soften to a murmur, as the two important people in my life stand waiting for my decision. Waiting to see who my heart and mind will choose to pledge themselves to.
The lull between the storm is deafening. Even the once noisy rumblings of the dark clouds above our heads, distant echoes of clanging metal and loud booming gunshots have blended noiselessly into the background.
All is silent, waiting.
Then, a shrill scream grows louder and louder, pounding inside my head, threatening to burst my eardrums. I stand hunched in on myself, tormented by the cacophonous cry in my head. The thin tendrils of chaos, as though feeding on my own doubt, insanity grows, their whispers increasing in volume as they chant one word over and over again.
Kill. Kill. Kill.
I can’t push them away any longer. With blood lust at the forefront of my mind, I leap into the fray, my heart boiling with emotions.
Fury, vengeance, sorrow, regret. My emotions threaten to crush me. To try and stop me from doing such a sacrilegious act. Until finally, I mastered the last lesson she taught me. I shut down and aimed for the kill.
Everything is moving so fast, yet so achingly slow.
The deed is done.
The once vibrant eyes fade to a dull mockery of their beauty. The empty eyes sear through my soul and I know that as long as I shall live, I will always remember the shock and disappointment in those eyes. I will always remember how I ravaged a part of my heart.
The twin sword in my hands that should be gleaming bright silver under the moonlight is now glistening red. Deep crimson liquid drips onto the green forested carpet, joining the pool of blood oozing from the corpse that lies still beside my foot. I turn my head, avoiding the accusing eyes. My heart is stinging, filled with regret, pain, sorrow. And in that moment, I know that I shall never be the same person I was.
I have destroyed the threat, but I too have been destroyed.