Chapter One - Evil
Just as I dozed off, the front door slammed. As a normal reaction would be to jump from the sudden noise, I only cracked my eye open.
“Jesus Christ, Joanna, we are going to be comprised again.” My father yelled at my mother in the kitchen.
“We went out to the bookstore, Miles. It’s not like I paraded her around town.” She snapped.
I closed my eyes once more. The book on my lap weighed heavier than before. I begged my mother for us to go out, just to the bookstore. I wore my sunglasses and my contacts. I made myself look completely normal, just as ordinary as the rest. Still it wasn’t good enough for Miles.
God, I was so sick of running. Going to the next town, city, suburb… I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed to be free of this torturous cycle. I wanted to be gone. Disappear. Whether it was running away, or just ending my life completely.
“Nix!” I heard my father trudge towards me. I opened my eyes and he lifted the book off my lap. “A love story? How sweet.” He twisted the last word like it was sour milk in his mouth.
“Father, I just wanted something different.” I pleaded to him.
He scoffed and opened the woodstove and threw it in.
He walked towards the bookshelf and threw a linguistic book towards me. It hit me in the stomach. I wanted to gasp as the air was taken out of me. But I just glared at him from under my lashes.
I gritted my teeth.
“Read that instead.” He spat.
I grabbed the book and stalked off to my bedroom, and I slammed the door behind me. Fuck him and her. I hated them both so much, my blood boiled just thinking of them.
I sat on the edge of my bed, my head lowered between my legs, and I gave a deep breath. My anger was getting the better of me, but I learned how to control it because of them. I always wondered what would happen if I just let my anger take over.
I dismissed the thought and began my breathing again. I laid back onto my soft bed and let my eyes close. I gave into sleep.
My dreams floated around in my head never lasting long. They bounced in and out but then one stood out from the rest. My brained tapped into the dream and then I heard her.
My name being called over and over. The voice sounded familiar like I already knew who she was but I just couldn’t remember her name. I could see her but she was so blurry, it was like she was behind hundreds of panes of glass. I could smell her sweet scent. She smelled like the earth and fresh rain. She smelled wild but good. I reached my hand out to touch her and just as our fingers were going to touch, I was pulled into another dream.
I was in the middle of the forest, the thunder was deafening and lightning flashed. The dense forest was making me claustrophobic. I looked around wildly seeing a way out. I ran, narrowly missing trees and branches that thrashed at my face. My brown hair whipped around me from the wind, and then I could hear them shouting. My parents.
They were chasing me and that made me run even faster. The voice I heard from earlier began shouting out. I was so close to actually being in her presence. It wouldn’t be long until I would see her.
I stopped short as I seen my mother had the gun to this voice, a tall exotic looking woman. All I seen were those grey eyes, and then my mother shot her in the head.
I screamed with anger and sadness, and everything around me started to break. Trees snapped and my mother ripped apart into thousands of little pieces. I ran to this woman collapsed on the ground, her blood pooling around her. I was just in reach of touching her face and then my eyes snapped open.
I sat up and wiped the sweat on my forehead. I looked at the time 4:23 a.m. I let out a loud breath, my god what a peculiar dream. I swung my legs around to sit on the side of my bed.
I eyed the side window looking at the forest behind our house. I opened it and heard the morning doves and chickadees chirping. The air was fresh and the grass was dewy, it was a beautiful June morning.
I changed my clothes quickly and grabbed a pair of boots in the corner of my room. I snuck out the window for a break. Maybe some clarity.
I walked into the forest, it wasn’t like the one in my dream. This forest was beautiful, hypnotic even... Everything was so lively, the grass was lush and bright green.
I continued walking until I reached my favourite spot. A small pond full of lily pads and frogs. I sat near the edge and thought of my dream.
In all my 20 years, I had never had a dream like that. Never. And I never heard a voice like hers. It’s like she knew me, her eyes were so beautiful, hauntingly beautiful. It made my stomach sick just to remember how my mother shot her between the eyes just like she had to so many others.
A twig snapped in the distance in front of me. I lifted my head just to catch a glimmer of something. I don’t know what it was. A squirrel jumped on a log near it and scuttled along. I chuckled and continued to watch. Another squirrel jumped on the log and began chirping.
I skimmed my hand across the water and looked at my reflection. My blue and purple eyes were worried as always. The purple was standing out even more today, they were bright and twinkling.
I slapped the water and sighed. I stood up brushing the dirt off my pants. My butt was wet from the damp grass. I stuffed my hands in my sweater pockets and marched back to the house of horrors.
Another crack sounded behind me, I didn’t stop or turn around. Fucking animals. I continued to walk until I was in the clearing of the backyard again.
I hoisted myself back through my bedroom window and peered back into the forest. I didn’t see anything until my eyes narrowed in on the outline of a wolf. The fur was white as snow. Such a beautiful creature actually. It peeked from behind the tree and then ran off deep into the brush.
That wolf must have been watching me, sneaky little bugger, I thought.
I looked at the time on my clock now 5:00 a.m. I threw myself back onto my bed with a grunt.
One hour until I had to wake up and begin combat training with my dad. All before noon this would be done, and then I would be pushed to do more training until 2:00 p.m. Then it was free time. Yes, I was 20 years old still taking orders from my parents. I didn’t have a choice in the matter, unfortunately. They lessened their training by ending it at 2:00 p.m. instead of 4:00 p.m. They left me alone to do what I wanted for the remainder of the day. Wasn’t I the luckiest girl in the world?
I tried to fall asleep again but my alarm went off making me groan. I rolled out of bed putting my gear on for the day. I met my dad outside at 6:15 a.m. sharp, and not a minute late either. I learned my lesson long ago from being late.
Just as my decision to kill him struck my mind, my mother shouted. “Nix, UP!” I leapt up from my place and crossed my arms.
My father stood up and nodded at me. I averted my eyes to the forest. I smirked when I saw the wolf far away into the forest watching.
My father walked up to me and followed my gaze but already the wolf was gone. He grabbed my face tightly and forced me to look at him.
“Don’t get any ideas.” He jerked his hand away from my face which made me stumble back. I rubbed my stinging cheeks, and looked over at my mother.
I ran off into the bush back to my little pond. I looked at my reflection. Bloody, of course. My father’s training felt more like a beating today, and those beatings were getting chore frequent.
I knelt down and washed my face in the cool water. I splashed water onto the back of my neck trying to steady myself. My hands were tinged blue with my blood, I kept washing until I didn’t have a trace of that colour left.
I could have done it, I grimaced. I could have killed him right there. I should have done it instead of thinking about it, I should have acted. Fuck, I’m stupid. My mother of course would have done everything to stop me, but I could have killed her, too.
I pooled water into my hands to rinse my mouth. It was blue as I spat it out. I was so sick of being different. Whoever wanted me could have me. I was beyond done with my life. I laid back onto the now warm grass and listened to the birds. I wished that death would come, but it never did. But I did manage to close my eyes and sleep.