I was stuck in a never ending cycle. The tediousness of it all had gotten to me.
I needed out.
Co-workers had been gossiping all week about some band coming to our small town. I had never been to a concert before. I also had never been the daring one. I was never brave. I was always the safest option.
Lucky for me, a few of the girls three rows down had saved me a ticket. I was itching for unfamiliarity. I wanted exciting, rich, and bold! I wanted anything other than the life that I had.
The beginning of the night was filled with the usual. A group of girls who locked themselves in a room to play dress-up. Semi loud music and lots of banter. I was glad they included me, but resentful as it made me realize how much I had missed out while growing up.
When the taxi had arrived, we flocked to his passenger doors. I recited the address word for word, but he waved me off without looking back. As he drove, he seemed to know exactly where he was going.
A longer than anticipated ride the taxi driver spoke up, "Here you go ladies!" He said with a little too much enthusiasm.
We looked out the window confused. "uh, this is just a cornfield?" I muttered. I looked out each window and found that the corn had surrounded us on all sides.
The taxi driver couldn't hide his chuckle, "Yep! Just a short walking distance to your venue!"
We groaned when we learned that we would have to get out and walk the rest of the way. Regret hung heavily over my head as I slipped the high heels off of my feet.
In protest, we made our way slowly down the dirt path, flinging stalks out of our way. I was determined to do this. Nothing was going to stop me.
After what felt like an eternity, we arrived. "You've got to be kidding me..." I spat out under my breath as we faced an abandoned barn. The front had all but fallen down with remnants scattered all over.
“Come on guys, let’s just to try it and if it sucks we can call another taxi.” Layla tried to sound cheerful. She tried to usher us to the door where two men dressed in all black stood.
We got closer and Kirsten blurted out. "Does anyone remember who's actually playing?" We all shared a puzzled look. In fact, I don't remember very much about the event. Any information we had gotten was from small town gossip.
When it was my turn to hand my ticket up to the bouncer, my hands had already been fumbling through my purse for a few minutes. I was becoming worried it wasn't there. Till my fingers grazed it and I plucked it out like I had just won the lottery, but my face fell when I got a closer look.
The small pink ticket was a generic one that you got from a carnival. There were no names or times.
I fumbled through my purse to find my ticket and looked at the back of it. I never noticed till then, that it was a generic ticket. There was no names, or location, or anything.
How strange. I thought.
When it came to our turn in line, the bouncer took our tickets and scanned them. I half expected the bouncer to yell at us for trying to sneak in with fake tickets, but when he let us in, I was shocked. It almost felt like I was committing a crime.
Inside the building, I was blown away by the strange new world. I finally understood why the band had chosen that place for a venue. It was a rave; complete with strobe lights and music loud enough to burst your ear drums.
Layla had quickly spotted the bar. She quickly yanked me by the wrist, pulling me through the crowd. I stumbled through, enamored by the faces I saw in the crowd.
The first round of shots were on her. The alcohol had gone down rougher than I thought, but I swallowed. I was determined to keep up.
Our other friends had waved to us from the dance floor. Layla came to them willingly while it took me a few forceful words to coax me. I wanted to ease into the night.
Nervously, I ordered a drink. Anything to keep me from being engulfed by the sea of people. I let the sting of the drink calm my nerves. Well enough to build the courage to join my friends, but when I looked back, they were gone. They had been consumed by the vast ocean of people.
I decided that I would stay put. Why not order anther drink? Or, two? Or, three? After the fifth, the alcohol had finally hit my bladder. I tried screaming over the music in hopes of catching the attention of the bartender.
“Bathroom?” I slurred. I didn’t remember the stool being so wobbly.
The bartender pointed and I fled in that general direction without any acknowledge of his kindness. My bladder had more pressing matters.
Behind the bar, a large set of industrial stairs were in plain set. With two uncoordinated high heeled feet, I climbed the stairs to the landing that overlooked the entire venue. It was definitely a shock and awe moment. It lasted for mere seconds before my bladder so rudely reminded me.
The hallway that merged with the landing had red painted doors that were measured and spaced out evenly. Behind the first door I opened was a motel setup.
Well, that’s not creepy at all.
I tried every single door before the last one had an additional door. I raced inside and almost ripped the door off the hinges. I rushed to find the waistline of my panties and push them down. “Oh thank god!” I giggled to myself. I couldn’t help but to take in the moment of squatting in someone’s potential room.
A rapid knock at the door had disrupted my laughter and I froze instantly. “Oh, I’ll be right out!” I stumbled over my words and nearly escaped falling into the toilet.
My face crashed into the chest of bouncer. “You’ll need to come to downstairs.” He said in a stern voice as he towered over me. “I think you should drink some water.” He said to me as he followed behind me to the bottom of the stairs. He pointed to a table in a corner, near the bar and disappeared. I walked to the table and looked for him. He was no where to be found.