More Than Just Broken

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Chapter 4

After i took my homework out of my locker and put it in my bag, i said goodbye to Adeline and I walked home,

She did offer me a ride but I declined as walking was my only time of peace, I didn't tell her that ofcause.

As I was walking my thoughts wonderd off to how today was acually not so bad, the first time in a while I acually enjoyed a day.

I think I made a friend.....well I hope I did, it does get boring being alone sometimes.

As I was walking towards my hell hole formally known as my home I noticed that my dad's car was in the parking lot and the feeling of panic, fear and cousiousness crept in.

Should I go in? I should sneak in he will probably be too intoxicated to notice.

I try to convince my self but I knew that it was to good to be true my dad is never too drunk to leave me bruised.

I walk in slowly so I don't make noise and all of a sudden I feel a painful sting on my check and when I look up I see my dad looking wasted as usual.

"I HATE YOU" He shouts and i wince in fear as I fear for what will come next and i know it's not gonna be good.

After a few minutes of him telling me how much of a worthless bi*ch i am.

Well he should stop telling me that because I already know. He starts kicking me in the gut,

there is most deffinatly gonna be a painful bruise there.

After a couple of minutes which felt like hours he stopped and told me to prepare lunch but not eat any including supper.
I noticed that my mom was not home so I only made lunch for him,

my mom is a nurse at a local hospital down town so she works a lot sometimes she has night shifts sometimes morning shifts so I don't see her much not that it would make a difference if i did.

She doesn't usually come home for lunch but my dad, if he gets a chance to come home for lunch he does or he goes to a bar to drink then goes back at work. He fixes cars or something along those lines I don't really care to find out.

After I prepared lunch for him I went to my room and did my homework. When my stomach started to growl complaining of the lack of food.

I was hurt and hungry. Great!

Today's gonna be a long day...

I sigh.

After a few minutes of a painful, empty, complaining stomach I couldn't take it anymore so I went down stairs to sneak in an apple maybe.

I love red apples, I read somewhere that apples are in the family of roses and i love roses so it would only make sence if I loved apples too.

I think an apple and a rose would be like cousins since they don't really look alike maybe an apple married an apple that was sisters to a rose so when they had children the children were an apple and a rose and they were cousins.

I mentally giggle at what I just thought.

Yep..my hunger gas gotten my brain all mushed up.

I also love the colour red. It represents love, something that I've never felt but also danger something I'm always surrounded with.

I got to the kitchen and opened the fridge, I took my apple and bit into it and moaned because of how good it tastes.

Apples are amazing or maybe it's the hunger that's talking.

I clossed the fridge only to be met by a very angry looking man....dad. oh crap
I dropped my apple and started walking backwards while he was walking towards me.

" didn't I tell you that you won't be eating today!?" He shouted angrily.

I didn't say anything

"Answer me dammit!!". He screamed at my face.

I won't lie I was scared.

"Y-yes you did...I'm sorry." I shattered out. I don't even know why I said sorry I mean I have a right to be hungry and satisfy that hunger.

Kick after kick, blow after blow, lossing and gaining consciousness until he finally decides to let me go. I couldn't even move so I just layed there and cried until I got the strength to lift myself up and go clean my wounds so I don't get an infection.

After I was done, I went to bed but I couldn't fall asleep because it was 6 and i was sore everywhere.

Sigh...

Why me, I've never done anything wrong to anyone even those who deserve it for example my dad.

Maybe it's the fact that I exist thats the problem, maybe my father didn't want me.

I can't live like this but

I can't leave.

Where would I got with no money no food no shelter...i can't leave
Why is this so complecated

Maybe I must just kill myself and get this over with

Yes i should just die but I don't want my dad to hit me to death I'm gonna do it my self, I'm gonna kill myself. I guess now I know what I'll be doing tomorrow.

Can't wait to end it all.

* Hey pretty people how was that...bad, good. Talk to me tell me how you feel after that intence chapter.

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