Forty Eight : Confession
My head hurt badly, among the other things that were causing me tremendous pain.
I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids felt like they had been glued together.
My arms and legs didn’t want to respond, and just breathing was enough to remind me of the past transgressions.
When I swallowed, my dry throat burned along with my left cheek.
That one action was enough to cause tears to roll down the sides of my face in rapid succession.
Then, my cheek burned even worse because the salt from my tears touched the open wound.
I gritted my jaw and tensed my entire body from the mind-wrenching sensations that tortured all of my senses.
For a minute, I thought I was dead until I realized that if I was dead, I wouldn’t feel pain. At least, that was what I thought.
After a while of lying in complete silence and contemplating if I was dead or not, I took deep gulps of air in through my partially open mouth.
Suddenly, I noticed something rather big come to my side and stop at my feet.
Whatever it was sat down and caused strands of my hair to flutter around my face as it breathed down onto my face like a blow-dryer full of hot air.
My heart leaped up to my throat and I tensed my entire body in fear.
Cold sweat dripped down the sides of my temple in long rivulets and collected on my nose.
I wearily opened my eyes and glanced at the rather dark surroundings in mild confusion.
When my vision focused, I spotted the giant beast lying rather docile at my feet.
I couldn’t see anything around me except for the pair of familiar red eyes that were staring pointedly right back at me.
Immediately, the memories from before I fell unconscious bombarded my mind.
After recollecting all of my jumbled thoughts, I sighed in defeat.
I concluded that after Zanthos and the other pack members failed to detain Eros, he probably brought me this place.
I made a move to get up but a heavy paw suddenly settled onto my uninjured chest and pushed me back down.
I nearly jumped at the contact when sparks scattered all over my body.
Then, I realized that I was completely naked.
My eyebrows furrowed together into a straight line.
“E-Eros?” I called through an extremely dry throat.
There was no reply, just rough and raspy breathing that continued to fan my face.
I pursed my lips and opened my mouth to speak again when I felt something warm and welt lick a way across my stomach.
I froze entirely from the pain and gave a startled whine of irritation.
Before I could reach out a hand to stop Eros from licking my wounds, a low warning growl came from his throat, and I was stopped in my tracks.
Albeit I didn’t know what he was doing, I knew that he wasn’t going to hurt me.
If he wanted to kill me, he would have done it earlier when he stopped Lia’s car.
I sighed pensively and decided to play dead.
Eros licked my abdomen thoroughly.
Then, he moved onto my face. Before long, my entire face was full of werewolf saliva along with my matted hair.
Some of it even got into my mouth. It was slimy, sticky and everywhere.
I silently gagged. And, although I was thoroughly disgusted, I oddly noted that the area where he licked quickly became numb in response to his saliva.
The pain dulled down quite a bit after that, and I found myself rather relieved.
If I had to lay here and endure that, I would probably go crazy or try to knock myself out.
Albeit I wanted to get up, my body isn’t up to par so I decided to lie here and rest while waiting for Eros to return to normal again.
I hope that a little bit of time will help him calm down enough to return to normal again.
“Eros, can you change back into your human form?” I asked in hopes that he would hear my words and understand them.
He cocked his head to the side at my question and his ears perked, but he did not make any other move after that.
“I guess that’s a no,” I muttered dejectedly to myself. After that, I somehow managed to fall asleep.
As I was drifting in and out of consciousness, light started filtering in from one corner of the room, and I was able to see my surroundings better.
From what I noted, this wasn’t a room. It was a gigantic cave of some sort. I was lying on the floor on top of several different colored animal furs with some type of white fur blanket on top of my naked body.
And, if I remember correctly, this looked like Eros’ den. From his memories, I remember seeing him carve out a large cave with his own hands—claws—when he was barely a hundred years old.
It was a traditional practice passed down by his ancestors that he had followed due to instincts.
Some wolves created their own den while others found a place to call their own.
Eros happened to build one himself against the side of some rocky wall.
I didn’t even know that our pack house was close to a mountain, or whatever this is.
I knew that a werewolf’s den was usually a safe hideout for when they are injured or running from enemies.
It was a place fortified by werewolf magic and hidden from prying eyes. And, from research, I knew that it was also the place where their pups will be born.
This large cave will probably be the place where my children will be born.
It’s been two days now since Eros hid me away in this den of his. Zanthos and the pack members have tried coming to the mouth of the cave, but not once have any of them succeeded in entering or luring Eros away so that they could rescue me.
I didn’t think that I would survive this long without any medical help, but I guess I am a lot more resilient than I thought.
My wounds still hurt from time to time but Eros always manages to numb it before the actual pain starts to bother me.
His werewolf saliva was actually helping the healing process quicken in ways I didn’t think were possible.
Not only have I been getting hourly baths in his saliva, but I was also prohibited from leaving the fur bedding.
Unless I had to use the bathroom, Eros would not let me up.
And when I had to use the bathroom, I was forced to go to the furthest corner of the cave and squat like a caveman to do my business.
And don’t ask me what I used to wipe myself afterward because I am not going to tell anyone.
This has got to be the most embarrassed and disgusted that I have ever felt.
As for food, Eros has hunted random animals, dragged them back, cut up pieces and fed me raw meat every few hours.
Initially, I gagged and nearly threw up all over myself, but Eros did not relent.
He continued feeding me the bloody meat until my stomach ached from being too full.
I don’t know how I even managed to chew and swallow that stuff down, but I did. And it was disgusting.
Suddenly, Eros growled loudly.
His red eyes narrowed as he uncurled his large body from mine and immediately trotted to the mouth of the cave.
He quickly disappeared from my sight after that.
I closed my eyes and sighed.
The noise of another battle started seeping in, but I continued to play dead.
This was starting to become an everyday occurrence. Zanthos and the pack would come by the cave.
Eros would run them off. Then, the process would start again the next day.
And there was nothing that I could do about it. But, so far, no one has died yet. At least not to my knowledge.
When Eros came back, his coat was matted with more blood. I don’t know if it was his or the pack members. Immediately, my eyes burned with unshed tears.
Eros was wearing himself down.
He kept constant watch and continuously battled with the pack members that would not stop coming.
Although I wanted to be saved, I didn’t want them to hurt Eros or get hurt in the process.
Eros cleaned off some of his wounds and sat down to my side instead of his position previous on the fur.
My eyes trailed from the mouth of the cave to Eros’ form on the floor and saw the puddle of blood that was gradually getting bigger.
Alarmed, I tried to get up but his paw immediately pushed me back down again and again.
“Eros, please. You’re hurt. Stop this. Please…” I begged with a fistful of his dark fur in the palms of my hands.
I was smelly, tired and frustrated. I just want to go back home and take a shower and eat real food and talk to real people and get my stomach patched up.
I was getting tired of having one-sided conversations.
More importantly, I wanted Eros back.
I wanted the man who treated me like I was his whole world, the man who loved me so wholeheartedly through all of the ups and downs, the man who treated me better than any queen could be treated.
I want my mate back.
At the thought, I cried and wailed brokenly like a child until tears and snot created a mess on my face.
The emotions erupted from my body like the water bursting from a dam. I couldn’t control the overflow of apparent frustration and hopelessness.
In his beast form, Eros couldn’t comprehend human emotions.
He cocked his head to the side and whined in the back of his throat as if he was really confused by my sudden outburst.
And, although he wanted to comfort me, he didn’t know how. I cried even harder.
“Eros, please come back. Please!” I begged pathetically as hot tears seeped from my eyes.
It’s been days now since he’s been in his beast form. And I feared that the longer he stayed in this form, the harder it would be to get his logical side back.
Not only that, but I was scared that he would lose himself to his beast forever and become instinct ridden and kill everyone he cared for, everyone he tried to protect.
As I got up, he didn’t stop me this time. My fingers curled around a tuft of his fur and pulled his wolf face down to me as I stared directly into his red eyes.
“Come back to me...please...I-I love you.” I choked out through irrepressible sobs as my voice cracked.
I don’t know why but the need to tell Eros I love him bubbled up in my lungs like the fire coming from a flamethrower. The words burned through my chest because of how long I have kept them hidden and buried there.
It ached in a way that made me sob even harder while I confessed my feelings for him.
“I was terrified to tell you my feelings because I thought that you would abandon me like everyone else in my life, that you would only need the pups and not me. I wasn’t giving you my all. I’m sorry, Eros.” I cried, wailing like a broken record as all of my insecurities gradually became uncovered. “And thank you for coming for me, for not abandoning me. Thank you.”
Being so caught up in my emotions, I nearly missed the moment when Eros’ paw circled around my body and dark fur turned into naked flesh.
In seconds, he transformed back into his humanoid form.
I stifled back a surprised hiccup and glanced up at his face with teary and red eyes. What I saw made me cry again.
Eros’ face was completely covered in blood. In fact, his entire body was.
If I didn’t know that this was him, I wouldn’t have even recognized him.
Wounds littered all across his body, some were so bad that it looked like his flesh had been gouged out in chunks. It was disturbingly gruesome to look at.
I immediately removed my gaze from his wounds and focused on the beautiful blue eyes that stared back at me. Relief washed over me in tranquilizing waves.
’I love you, Eros. I love you. I love you. I love you,” I chanted like a mantra in fear that I would never be able to tell him I love him again.
The thought of losing him was enough to make me nearly go crazy.
“I love you too, Emira,” he murmured with a raspy voice full of love and everything else that filled my world with color again.