Chapter 2-Broken Faucet
There was utter silence between the two men. Renard quickly turned towards the door, which signified Benjamin to move from the entrance. Benjamin took one glance and Renard and shivers were sent down his spine. Benjamin’s mind was blank. Renard dashed towards the entrance and struggled to keep his act together while he ran. His tie was flailing around like a falling kite while his body felt as if he was crashing down. Everyone stood up and no one dared to move a muscle after they’d just seen him dash.
There was only silence, everyone stopped what they were doing. Papers stopped flipping, people stopped chatting, the boss stopped typing. And the only sounds that were heard were the muffles of his voice and the careless taps that echoed and haunted each step. It was, to say the least, the most peculiar day for everyone. Renard blasted open the doors as hard as he could, as the doors slammed hard against the walls, he ran down the stairs just as fast.
Just when the echoing slam of the door had disappeared, so had Renard. “...Renard…” Benjamin uttered under his breath as he endlessly looked down on the spiraling stairs from above. The sight of the stairs had made him a little dizzy, but what had happened was something he was aware would happen a day or another. “Stay safe, chap…” he softly said as he exhaled a sigh. He walked rather the same way Renard would, with his hands in his pockets and his head falling low. Benjamin really had no reason to be feeling positive, especially after what he had seen in the Bathroom.
Renard was panting and gasping for air as the tears escaped his eyes. His tears were crashing just as the memories of his past came flooding in. Flashbacks of his past were breaking into his mind uninvited along with the painful stings that stabbed his heart with every memory. The laughter of children, the kisses of his wife, the soft giggles of the love of his life and the hugs of his family. He’d never feel these again, and deep inside his heart, he knew he had just been running away like he’s always been doing.
He ran and ran, running only straight forward through a narrow hallway which had an exit at the other end. He kept running, and crashed open the door that revealed the streets. He threw his tie off and threw it into a bin, and all eyes were all on him. The honkings of the cars were inaudible, and he managed to keep his mouth shut. But the tears still would not stop. Stabbing pain, knots in his stomach and cramps in his head. He felt as if there were blisters growing on his feet.
He ran through roads despite the cars running through. People shouting, cars stopping-he did not care for any of this. He wanted to close his eyes and just wish everything would go away, hope that silently the pain would stop grabbing him and holding and just leave him the fuck alone. But...it wouldn’t, no matter how fast he runs, no matter how hard he runs and no matter how much he tries to forget...it will never be enough to outrun the pain that grows in his mind that’s only fed more and more with the ever growing ignorance that he has showed to his pain.
It was too late to turn back time, and let it all flow. Too late to do something about them...if only he wasn’t at that very night shift three years ago, his wife and kids would still be here...waiting for him at home...with their warm, big smiles...if only...he could’ve done something...but it was far too late now.
With all those thoughts dashing across his mind, the pain felt endless, but time seemed to move so fast. As if the pain was slowing his life but speeding up his days as the only things that flew past were regret, pain and pure sorrow. They pierced him like ice shards as he ran forwards. He got into a taxi rapidly and demanded the driver to drive directly to his estate. The driver quickly turned the key and pulled the gears and started the car at a slightly steady pace. Renard looked outside at the evening sun, along with the clouds that were turning gray.
The driver parked the car near his apartment, the clicking noise of the Amp was signaling that he needed to pay the amount written on the digital screen. Renard paid the driver and quickly hurried out the door. As he made his way towards his building, the car had started and had left, leaving Renard alone on his way. He pressed the keycode which gained him access into the building. He got into the elevator and tried his best to maintain his current state. He stood shakily in the corner of the elevator, trembling and sweating yet maintaining his manners while he shared the elevator with a few other people.
The air inside the elevator was tightening, it made him sweat severely and he felt he couldn’t breathe. The anxiety that crawled between the corners of the elevator, and the gloomy aroma that roamed inside the elevator was only further intensifying the uncomfort that Renard was feeling. Right as the elevator door to his opened up, Renard jolted forwards and quickly dashed to his door. That very moment, he felt a rush of anguish weighting over him. He hastily tried to take the keys out of his pocket, however the Golden Locket he was trying to keep close to him, fell out and landed onto the rug. Renard was far too tired, heartbroken and disheartened to allow the sound of the locket to reach him.
He managed to grab hold of the key and place it into the keyhole with his shaking hands. He opened the door, and left the memories that he treasured inside the locket out in the open corridors. Renard closed the door, locked it, and didn’t bother to turn on the lights. His eyes were too blurry for him to see anything around him, too tired to bother doing anything but cry and too shattered to do anything but slowly walk. He barely managed to put a foot after the other without slamming into the walls. He could barely see and couldn’t withstand the pressure he was feeling inside his soul.
He slammed into the door of his room, forgetting that he needed to turn the knob and enter. He placed his sweaty and shaky hand onto the door knob, and twisted it slowly. So slowly that it almost seemed as if he was twisting a heavy knob. With the slight click of the door, Renards head was laying low and his eyes were glued to the floor while he slowly walked towards his bed. It seemed as if he was walking a plank and was going to jump off the cliff. He slowly sat on his bed and looked down with his watery eyes. His tears dropped to the floor and there was no sound that was roaming the room.
The orange light of the evening sun was shining onto the photos of his family. The pictures of the days when the most normal thing he could do as a father was hug his children, the times of when he would be greeted by sweet lips in the early morning and the times of which he would know he was doing his job as a father. But what now? What would he do now? He couldn’t take care of his children when they needed him most. He couldn’t protect his wife when she cried for him, and he wasn’t able to protect his family-as a husband or father...or even as a person. So what was the point of looking back when all you can do is look down. Why bother trying, when you’ve already lost?
Renard laid his back onto the soft mattress and closed his eyes. His tears streamed through but his face stuck in a frozen expression, and expression that showed nothing but only emptiness. Was it too late to start again? But what he loved was already gone. Thoughts raced through his mind along with memories. He knew it was too late, and he knew he had to let go of them, but how could he? It was too hard, too exhausting and too painful to forget...when there wasn’t even a goodbye.
He laid there on the bed, alone with his thoughts
Alone...and in pain...