The Balance Mate

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Chapter thirteen

Celine’s Point Of View

Seeing Nathan lock his lips with Chloe was supposed to be a happy moment. This is Nathan’s first kiss with another girl. I’m supposed to be happy but the jolt in my chest tells me otherwise.

I overheard Alex in the back cheering him on, his sudden change in reaction baffles me. Isn’t he the one who’s always taunting Nathan for doing nice gestures towards other humans.

I’m supposed to be the one cheering for I have just had another victory against Alex just to keep Nathan safe from all the danger he’s scheming. Yet something is not sitting right with me, I couldn’t help but froze on the spot watching how intense his soft lips was sucking Chloe’s lips, his hold on her body releases an aura I’ve never seen him released ever before, the more I come closer to them, the stronger I can feel it.

I felt Alex’s energy bringing me back from my frozen state, I showed a smile to mask the strange emotion that I need to figure why it keeps bothering me.

I channeled the light within me to shake it off. It must be Alex’s doing again with his hypnotic snapping, I need to find out what’s wrong with me fast.

I have watched over Nathan for years, I’ve seen him grow, prosper, and thrive. I have never felt this longing in my heart, always by his side but unable to touch him nor make my presence known. I am but a shadow lingering around him, always wanting to reach out, uncertain if he ever felt me beside him all these years.

Having all of these questions came to a halt when Alex distracted me yet again with a snap of his fingers. I was about to wave my hand, a habit that I have developed while hanging out with Alex, to undo what he had just done when I realized that he changed both of our outfits to a more fitting attire as we watched Nathan drive Chloe’s car to a fast food restaurant.

I am fully aware that harboring desire will lead to my demise, as heaven has mandated all of the angels never to assimilate with human perceptions or emotions.

I asked myself how can someone be so near but so unreachable, unattainable in every facet of my existence. How can someone detach themselves and remain indifferent to someone who’s been a part of your daily routine? How can anyone bear to stand simply stand on the sidelines without feeling the need to be involved? What kind of existence is this but a meaningless one. The more I reflect upon these thoughts the more I doom myself.

I wonder if Nathan ever hears my voice? Was there ever a time that he felt my breath consoling him? Would I ever be allowed to be heard and felt one day?

We angels are meant to be emotionless, but the feelings of yearning have swept over me like a tidal wave. These tidal wave of emotions are completely foreign to me. Did something just awaken in me? Seeing Nathan with Chloe locked in warm embrace should be making giddy but why I am suddenly feeling resentment towards Chloe? Why am I picturing myself in her place and wishing that I am the one in Nathan’s arms.

I was suddenly displease with myself with the indecent thoughts I’m harboring. I am well-aware that we are simply soothsayers here and that we are not supposed to conceive unwanted desires. This has to stop before these thoughts fester my sanctity. I have to regain my bearings and control my reactions, otherwise Alex might sense that something is up.

I see Nathan touching Chloe closely to his body and there it is again, the same aura that he’s been releasing that’s been affecting me. I look at Alex and I see him snapping his fingers as he levitate himself near them. I waved my hand and this time to bring out the white light in me. I shine brightly making Alex react and starts yelling for me to stop but the emotion is still here.

This isn’t Alex’s doing.

This is me!

I’m having such an odd feeling inside me.

It’s so strong and it can’t be helped the more I sweep it further at the back of my mind, the more it resurfaces to my consciousness. I have to allude to the teachings of our realms and concur to the absolute rules of heaven.

Is it just perhaps an attachment same as Lisa’s affections towards Nathan? She is the mother after all, Would have this kind of strong sensitive emotion.

Historically, there are no written records of our kind falling for a human and No No No way this feeling is of that.

We don’t need to be laced with emotions, it clouds our judgment and endangers the balance of realms, that is why we choose to act with reason and logic.

Yet, here I am dumbfounded on what I’m feeling, a deep rooted yearning to take Nathan back to his safety. Watching over him had unconsciously made me attached, now I yearn for him. Now I am unquestionably consumed with thoughts of passion, I feel like I’m about to explode from the constant sting in my heart seeing how Chloe and Nathan locked lips once more. I am at a lost here.

I can no longer hold myself back, these thoughts are like a storm that ravages my mind.

“No” I suddenly let out a scream, sending a strong wind towards Nathan and Chloe, making her skirt lift up,resulting to Nathan holding her closer and helping her get in the car.

“What are you doing?” Alex levitates in front of me in full gear fire on both of his arms, stopping me from my outburst. I just look at straight to Alex and I couldn’t utter a single word.

As much as I want to share these thoughts to Alex, I choose not to. I have to convince myself that this nothing more but a misstep on my part, a temporary lapse in judgment and that these emotions are unreal. I have to deny culmination of these events from disturbing my sanity.

I steady myself and remind myself that desires are transient, that with enough willpower, I can overcome it steadfastly. But desires are not necessarily evil, it can exist to motivate and influence change. It all boils down how it is manifested and how it is fulfilled. I tell myself that with reason, I do have the choice to override my desires.

I have never seen Nathan’s face this happy and for the first time it’s quite refreshing seeing his face this bright. I convinced myself that what matters most is Nathan’s happiness. If he is fervently happy and satisfied, I should be too. After all, seeing him smile brightly makes me happy as well.

Alex snapped his fingers and a table with a full on complete set ready for a fancy dinning is laid out in the middle of the parking lot, right in front of me. Nathan and Chloe had decided to hang out in the parking lot before deciding to head home, and I hear Alex snapping his fingers and a table with a full on complete set ready for a fancy dinning has been laid out instantly in the middle of the parking lot, right in front of me.

“Come on Mademoiselle,” Alex says as he pats the chair, indicating that I am now the one who is brooding while he moves his two fingers on his face stretching his cheek to a smile.

“My little mate, to show you that I am not a sore loser and a handsome sport about losing, I will treat you to a fancy human dinner.”

“You’re in such a great mood, What is it now? I waved my hand to transport myself, sitting right on the chair. Alex starts talking and for some odd reason, he’s become pretty chatty ever since we arrived at the shore.

He’s now willing to answers all the questions I asked him earlier. I have to give it to Alex, he has knack for the weird and unusual gestures. This was unexpected of him, he’s not that bad after all. In fact, I find his behaviors quite entertaining tonight, one thing that’s guaranteed with Alex, it never gets boring when you’re with him.

Somehow, I’m grateful for having him as a balance mate, he may be a total odd creature from hell sometimes but he’s always been true to his nature.
Yes, he is annoying but he makes me laugh hysterically at the same time. He has his mood swings but he always keeps his word. For now, I will allow myself to enjoy his company and dismiss these thoughts that have bothered me and challenged my virtue.

As the night ended, Nathan comes home singing like never before, he gets stopped by Lisa who has so much papers laid out on the small dinning table. Nathan ran to her then picks her up and kisses her on the cheek while he yells repeatedly he’s in a relationship with Chloe and that he’s going to the annual dance. He ran upstairs to shower before even Lisa could react to his news. I see Alex cheering him and followed him upstairs while I stay behind.

I look at Lisa’s reaction and she simply gives out a smile and shakes her head. I put my face close to her and study her reaction to see if she has the same as mine when nothing came of it, I waved my hand to see what she was thinking.

I senses her worry right away. I knew it perhaps what I felt was just the concern as well like hers, giving me the much needed relief. I flutter my fingers in such a happy mode putting me back to my normal state.

I ready myself to head up as Alex is being very loud, cheering Nathan for who knows what again, but not before I see lisa grabbing her pad list at the bottom of all those papers and crossing the last item that’s says new work shoes changing it to Nathan’s suit.

The next morning Nathan woke up with extra energy not his usual lazy grumpy self, the change in him had a major effect on the way Alex is as well.

I remind Alex about our wager and to behave but to my surprise he just agrees without the usual come back.

I feel the huge shift that’s transpiring with each day that passed, Nathan and Chloe are growing closer, they often spend their free time together and often goes on dates. Perhaps, this how humans cultivate their feelings and establish their bonds, spending most of their time together have made them almost inseparable.

Watching them caring for each other felt like something is stinging me from the inside. When ever Nathan holds her hand or caressed her hair, felt like I’m drenched in sorrow. I see him smile from ear to ear, yet I can’t find solace seeing Chloe wrapped her arms around him tightly.

All I can do is watch Nathan and Chloe get physical and Alex cheering them on some more is becoming unbearable. I find myself once again slowly sulking whenever Alex is busy doing his usual stuff. I try to keep my smile on and wait on Alex to do a snap on his fingers for another round of trouble.

I wave my hand for a bucket of water on top of Alex’s head as I thought he’s about to snap as Nathan ignored him but to my surprised he solely pop a huge couch to lay on levitating on top of Chloe and Nathan.

I hear him snap his fingers and suddenly the water is now poured on me. I waved my hand to sit next to Alex accepting that blow.

“It looks like you needed it” Alex’s grin only confirmed one thing about my new found feelings.

I am in some serious! serious! whole lot of trouble than I thought.

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