Chapter 3 Confused
This place is enormous. I've lost count of how many bathrooms I've come across, and the kitchen is built for feeding a mob. But the decor doesn't scream rich or cold; it's homey.
I get to the end of another hall and notice a large door that looks different than the others. I shrug and knock before opening it a few inches. I peek inside and gasp. Ethan has a huge library. Not as big as the one in my favorite Disney movie, but still.....pretty big.
I quickly step in and close the door behind me. This looks like a good place to relax and collect my thoughts. Something I haven't really had a chance to do since I woke up. Mitch and the omegas only decided to leave me alone about an hour ago, but not before feeding me about 3,000 calories and showing me my new room.
I know they are just trying to be friendly, but I am too overwhelmed. Their hospitality is coming across as pushy and controlling. I need to think.
I find a nice reading chair and sit down. I put my head back and close my eyes. I haven't seen Miranda at all, but when I asked about her, the omegas had giggled. I really didn't need any further explanation. I'm happy for her. She has been so mopey while missing Ethan, and he seemed to be nothing like that pile of crap Bryan. Plus, she gets to live here now. With maids and more bathrooms than I have ever seen. She deserves it.
But do I want to live here? Do I want to stop going to school and become some guy's mate? He is cute and seems super sweet. Almost too sweet, as if he is waiting for me to flip out. Which I guess I can't blame him; I did slap him.
I just don't like having my choices taken away. I never have. I enjoy having the world laid out before me and not knowing what the future holds. I like knowing I can do anything and be anything I want. Now I don't even get to choose who I spend my life with. And even if he is the greatest guy I could ever find, I still wanted to have the privilege of finding him. I wanted to live and learn at my own pace. I wanted to experience some heart break and learn what I like and dislike in a relationship. Dad was so strict when we were growing up; dating was hard. Especially me! I was the miracle. The baby they had prayed for decades for.
I sigh as my thoughts begin to make me angry. I should find a book to distract myself with. I get up and stretch. When I have fully cracked my back, I look around. When I locate a shelf full of werewolf history and basic information, I smile. I guess if I'm going to be mated to a werewolf, I need to learn more about them at least. I select a book title, The ins and outs of mating, and return to my chair. Let the learning begin.
I have absolutely nothing to distract myself with. Since we don't have our power grid up yet, I can't veg out playing video games. I can't watch funny videos unless I want my cell to die. I growl as Heath sends me yet another image of Lorraine.
We can't force her to be next to us. Earlier I could feel her discomfort and her annoyance. She needs space. If we cling to her right now, we will lose her forever.
Heath- But how will she begin to love us if we aren't around her?
Mitch- there will be time for that. Tonight let's focus on giving her time. And I have an idea on who we can talk to......There isn't an older wolf in this pack than the King.
Mitch- King Ethan, I need a favor.
Mitch- yes, Alpha
Ethan- What can I do for you? It's late, warrior.
Mitch- Sorry, Alpha, I was wondering if I could speak to you tomorrow.
Ethan- umm yeah. I will have to pick a free time but sure.
Mitch- thanks Alpha, goodnight
Ethan- Goodnight, Warrior.
Heath- Alpha King will have answers for us.
Mitch- I hope so.
Heath finally lays down in our mind and gives me some peace and quiet, which I need because my stress level is higher than it's ever been.
I have always been mediocre, and I expected my mate to be as well. But Lorraine is light years above mediocre. She is living breathing perfection. Watching her eat earlier had filled me with happiness. I hadn't let Louise cook for her, I had done it, and I had loved it. There was a primal satisfaction in feeding her. Taking care of her needs. Knowing that I had provided for her.
I can't wait for her to see our home. I will be so happy to show her I have a safe place for her to live. I look around, and my smile slips from my face as I take in the rough spots of my rushed build. Uncle and I didn't really take our time in smoothing the wood or making sure the paint was perfect. We focused on getting the structure up and operational.
"I guess I have something to do," I mumble before heading out the front door to go get some much-needed sandpaper.
"Mates typically complement each other. The Goddess handpicks the matches this way to create balanced partnerships," I read out loud to myself.
I think about Mitch's patient face and frown. He seems so happy to be mated to me, but why. He doesn't know me. Is it because he trusts that the Goddess picked the best match for him....That we should complement each other so why complain? What if when she paired us, we had different personalities. I was a handful in middle school and high school. How did she know what I will be like in ten years or even thirty? How does she know we will be able to work through our differences?
I slam the book closed as my heart rate picks up. I drop my head into my hands and groan. I hate being a negative Nancy. I want to give him a chance, but I am so frustrated that I am already tied to him.
"Knock knock," a female voice says, and my head snaps up to find Louise looking at me with a soft smile.
"May I sit," Louise asks after a few seconds of me staring, and I nod.
She makes herself comfortable in a chair across from me, before giving me another comforting smile.
"Mate troubles," she asks, and I huff before nodding again.
"What seems to be bothering you," Louise asks, and I look her over while weighing my options.
I normally only talk over my troubles with Miranda or mom, but Louise is a werewolf. Maybe she will be able to explain more.
"I don't like the fact I have been marked by someone I don't know," I reply, and she nods.
"That is very understandable. It isn't common to be marked by your mate before getting to know them. I mean, maybe a few hundred years ago...but now most of us want a few dinner dates and some romance before sealing the deal," Louise says with a small laugh.
And I smile at her attempt to lighten the mood.
"So, how did you and your mate meet," I ask, and her face fills with love at the mention of her mate.
"We met in school. We are both omegas, and when I turned eighteen, there he was in my English class. We were both in Riverstone pack and immediately in love. But we grew up knowing we had a mate, so you can't really compare our level of acceptance to yours," Louise says, and I nod again.
"I'm not trying to be mean, but what if I don't want this? What if I don't like him," I whisper, and Louise begins to look sad.
"Then you reject him. You walk away and focus on finding what you think you do want. But...I will say this, having a mate is amazing. He will always want what's best for you. He will always go out of his way to please you. He will love you unconditionally for the rest of your life.......how many human men can you say that about," Louise asks, and my eyes widen.
I shrug when I can't think of a guy like that. Even dad has had moments of utter selfishness with mom.
"Exactly, get to know your mate. You might be surprised at how perfect he is for you," Louise says before standing to her feet and giving me a small wave.
She walks away, and I watch her with swirling thoughts.