Sweet Revenge part 1

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-15- Jaleena

“Julian? What are your powers exactly?” I notice I'm getting more curious about him. They’re all still a mystery to me. Sometimes it feels like I'm the one with all the cards on the table. It’s freaking unfair. He guides me towards the chair in front of the desk and I take a seat next to him.

“I can read minds. Well, it’s a part of it anyway. I can read minds, but only if I have an emotional connection to them or after I touched them,” he explains.

I look at him, stunned that he has such a powerful gift. Here I am, causing destruction everywhere I go and he gets this cool thing, I think to myself. Immediately I wonder what my father really felt or saw every time he looked at me. I wish I could do that.

Okay, change of subject please, before I go collision overload in my brain.

“So, is that the reason you can get all this in here?” I wave at the screens on the wall.

He nods. “One of the reasons, yeah. It’s not that I know what someone is thinking word for word, but I can feel what they’re feeling or what they really want to say. I can also feel when someone is lying or twisting the truth, so that can come in handy. Do you know the saying that’s basically in every mob movie?” He clears his throat and drops his voice. “I can smell your fear,” he says with an Italian accent. He looks absolutely ridiculous and I can’t help but laugh out loud.

“You’re fucking weird,” I tell him while I wipe away my tears. “Thanks though. I needed that.”

He looks up, beaming at me. There is something I want to know now. It doesn’t add up with what he just told me. “Why did you say all the things you said to me? You could’ve felt the truth right?”

He looks away, his cheeks turning red. Fuck, I wish I could use that mind-reading thing. He’s damn hard to read when he’s not throwing a tantrum. When he does that, all his emotions are in plain sight in front of you. But when he’s acting normal, he has this blank look on his face. He still doesn’t look at me and for a moment I'm afraid he won’t say anything.

“When I first met you, I didn’t have a connection with you. Without that, my power is pretty useless. When I first touched you, I knew in my heart that what you said was the truth. The thing is, Jaleena, I like the guys. Cass was the first one I met since I died.”

I remember Cass telling me that last week. He also told me Julian was lonely and not only in the year since he died but also when he was alive. I still can’t wrap my head around that. If he wants, he can be a really nice guy and I’m having trouble believing that that was different on earth. Then again, I know there’s still a lot of people who can’t accept that someone is different. Or not different, they’re the same, but they live a different life. Which is also a bunch of crap, because even straight people live different lives. That’s how it's supposed to be, you can’t expect someone to always color between the lines. We need more rainbows and glitter on the planet. Maybe we can focus on that after my father is dead. You know, make rainbows and release unicorns so they can shit glitter all over planet earth. That would be epic. Turning my attention back at Julian, I keep pushing, not satisfied with his answer.

“Then you also could’ve known that I don’t give a shit about how you lived your life. Because I don’t. As long as you’re not in my way, you should just do what the hell you want. I know I certainly will.”

I don’t know why I keep explaining myself, but it feels important that he knows how I think about him being bisexual. I honestly couldn’t give a fuck. Hell, I’m attracted to three different guys. Talking about unconventional. Julian scrapes his throat and I snap my head up.

“Did you hear what I said?” He asks with a twinkling in his eyes. Nope, obviously, I was lost in thought, longer than I expected.

“Sorry,” I mumble.

He sighs. “There’s something else.” Of course, there is. There’s always something else. “If I have a really deep connection with someone, I can see through their eyes.”

Wait, what? “What do mean by that? Like, you can see what they’re seeing?”

He nods and takes my hands again. “Something like that. It goes deeper than that. I can show you, but you need to trust me. Like, really trust me.”

I think about that for a moment. I thought about it this morning before he snatched me away and I did decide that I believe him when he says he’s on my side. My thoughts from earlier come back to mind. What if something happens that he’s not comfortable with? We fight a lot, everybody knows that, and okay, maybe that’s not entirely his fault. But just maybe, because I’m damn near perfect, I grin at myself. I know I can be stubborn as hell and I go from zero to one hundred in a split second, but that’s not all I am.

“How do I know you won’t back out?” I ask him. I need to know what his game is before I can even decide anything. Not only that, I don’t know how this mind-reading or eye seeing thing works and I’m not comfortable with him picking my brain.

“You don’t, but I want you to remember that I can feel your emotions, so I know what you want and what you expect from me in the end.” He takes a deep breath before he looks me in the eye. “I also need to warn you that I do have a connection with you, so I see what you see if I want to. It’s not that I can see everything in the back of my mind, but if I focus, I can switch from my sight to yours. When you had that nightmare, you caught me by surprise. It was the first time that I could look through your eyes and because I didn’t expect that to happen so soon, I couldn’t close my mind fast enough. Jaleena, I saw a part of your nightmare and no one deserves to go through that.” he explains.

I feel the color drain from my face. He saw what happened to me. He felt what I felt, the pain between my legs, the pain in my face from Levi beating me, and worst of all, the darkness that surrounded me for years, begging me to just end it all. Thoughts about leaving this world, because I would never be good enough for my father or someone else. My life was tainted and so was I.

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