Good evening ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the latest and greatest new show on television today. Here we will take a look at the unsung heroes who strive valiantly to keep our streets safe from evildoers dastardly devices. You may have heard of the incomparable Mrs. Universe who recently saved the earth from a rogue asteroid on a collision cause with our fair metropolis, or maybe you follow the exploits of the great and wonderful Magician who caused an Alien invasion fleet to declare war on themselves and depart our sphere of influence believing that they had gained the upper hand after departing with 25 boxes of girl scout thin mint cookies for the wonderful low price of 20tons of rare metals per box.
Those heroes we salute, but our focus tonight is on those who are down in the grit and grime of our fair city, who fight the valiant fight to make wrongs right, those who do the dirtiest of crime fighting to make this city just and fair. Those whose tales of daring go unheralded by the world at large, until tonight that is where we shall turn our laser like focus and admire these unsung crimefighters for their contributions to our fair city.
So who shall we focus on tonight? Well why don’t we start with the most overlooked of all the heroes, yet one who is indispensable to those who dispense justice, one whose voice calls the caped crusaders into action. He who is known as “The Observer.”
He declined to speak to us, but assented that we may watch his work as he fights the dark side of the city.
Here he stands, ever vigilant at his chosen post. His senses constantly scanning the city for dastardly devilish deeds done in darkness. Nothing can stop his super hearing from picking up the smallest of sounds, and his eyes can penetrate the thickest of walls to see what lies within, whether it is the latest exhibition at the museum, or the great shadow entering a bank vault, the observer will perceive it all.
And looks, he see's something. He pauses on his ever circular sweep of the skyline. What is it he perceives? A bank heist in progress? A super villain up to no good? Could it be the mysterious *blank* removing art from the gallery once again?
Maybe we can take a quick peek over his shoulder perhaps and gain a glimpse as to what has caused him to pause? Ah what is it? Why it is the town beauty, Ms. Scarlett stepping out of the shower, naked as the day she was born, and what is this? she has a tail plug placed in her unmentionable regions? Quick, cut away, we do not want to be sued for privacy violations.
Ahh, the observer resumes his ever vigilant sweep which continues day and night, in fair weather and foul, in the heat of summer of the chill of winter, he is ever vigilant. Again he pauses on his sweep, is it another beauty that has caught his eye? No it is a mean mugger manipulating Mrs. Marchins massive mansions in an attempt to gain her money. The observer sends out his patented telepathic call to what ever hero is close enough to respond, and the blob raises his fist and slams it down, causing the mean mugger to mince away in madness.
Ah, how satisfying it is to see justice prevail, and no one hurt. We can rest in peace tonight knowing that a hero such as the observer is ever vigilant and watching over us.
But what is this? A desperate cry for help, and close by at that. Maybe we can watch the Observer prevent a criminal catastrophe close at hand. The screaming draws ever closer, and look it is a woman, her dress is torn from an unknown assailant. She passes by the observer, and he vows to protect her.
Her comes her assuredly amoral attacker now, and he has an accomplice with him. They draw near to where the observer keeps his vigil, they are right underneath him, cackling cowardly about their cavalier attitude to heroes in general. The observer drops in unexpectedly, just as a hero should. He lands with a crash and pins the dastardly duo down causing the attack to finish, and here come the police to arrest the pair now. The observer must have, in his momentary falling, sent out a call to the police about the events that have transpired, and the brave boys in blue responded as only our fair cities finest may do, arriving to make the arrest and take down the statements of all. Even though the observer may not speak, rest assured that this nights events are forever immortalized by our intrepid film crew who captured this amazing event tonight with great aplomb and courage. Well done lads. Quickly now, before the observer is returns to his perch above the city, see if you cannot get a statement from him. What is this? He just points to his perch? There is a plaque, quickly now read what it says before the words fade! What does it say? It says
"This statue is dedicated to all those who gave their lives in the building of this statue."
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