Fornever (Book 2)

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Blues

“Oooopmh—”

Lily jolted up in the bed, her mouth barely blocking the bile ready to erupt in her throat.

She dashed to the bathroom. Time went by in a blur as she threw up in the sink. When she had the chance to breathe, she noticed the two large hands holding back her hair and rubbing her back furiously. Exhausted, she allowed Ezra wash her face and carry her to bed after she calmed down.

It was midnight, the moon high and bright.

“Do you need something?” Ezra wiped her wet hair back and settled her in his lap. “Should I call the doctor?”

Lily worked on her swallow and shook her head, her heart throbbing nervously.

“No, I’m alright. I think it was the spaghettis. I don’t like it.”

Ezra scowled in distaste. “Then why on earth did you make it?”

“Because you like spaghettis.”

“I don’t like it if it bothers you.”

Lily pursed her lips and let her head fall over his arm. Her body was limp in his lap. Deep down, it warmed her heart. She couldn’t remember the last time someone holding her when she was sick.

“Water?” He reached over for the glass and tilted her head.

Lily silently sipped on the cold liquid and sighed as it washed her sore throat. “Thank you.”

Ezra put the glass down and leaned against the headboard, dragging her with him. Lily fought the warmth spreading in her chest all the way to her toes when he placed her head on his chest and caged her in his arms.

Her angst, frustration and pain died in his embrace. His scent, his heat and the demanding beats of his heart coaxed her into peace. It was a miracle that her wounded dignity didn’t object.

“Does it hurt anywhere?”

The innocent question made her eyes blurry. She shook her head and buried her nose in his broad chest. It hurt. It hurt a lot more than she could explain.

Not in her body. Not the ache in her shoulders or soreness in her throat. It hurt where she was most damaged.

“Go to sleep.” He whispered into her hair before placing a firm kiss on her hairline.

If she had an ounce of energy, she would have slid off his lap to sleep but she couldn’t move a finger so let her neglected wolf bask in his presence and slipped into oblivion.

That’s how she woke up in the morning. Tangled with him. He was wrapped around her like vines and she was clinging to his arms. Although her sleepy mind found it endearing, her conscious mind begged to differ. The moment she came to her full senses, her body flooded with dread.

As silent and swift as possible, she untangled herself from him and went to the bathroom. After cleaning up and changing into a long sleeved creme dress, she went down to the kitchen.

It felt like a norm. Cooking for him. It was the shard of her broken dream lingering in her mind. She was pouring coffee into a mug when she heard Ezra enter the kitchen. His hair was a mess, eyes red and sleepy and his night shirt wrinkled.

“Morning,” he groaned and walked up behind her. The throaty rasp in his morning voice zinged to her core. She held back her gasp of a breath as he plastered up to her spine and buried his face in her neck.

She waited, frozen, for him to do something but the big goof was snoring lightly against her skin.

Is he... sleeping on my shoulder...?

“I made coffee.” She blurted out.

“Hm-hmph...” he sighed and turned his face then went back to sleep-standing.

Lily inhaled shakily and gripped the counter. Either he was unaware or it was a deliberately move but the effect of his boner on her was unacceptable. Just...no.

“Coffee!” She exclaimed and huffed when he jolted up.

“What?” He asked after a pause and rubbed his eyes.

“I said,” Lily gritted her teeth, “I made coffee.”

Ezra detaches himself from her to wash his face in the sink and gurgle. Lily rolled her eyes and placed his coffee mug on the kitchen table then prepared sandwiches for both of them.

“Are you still feeling nauseous?” He asked after joining her at the table.

“No.” She said,“I’m doing okay since morning. No more nausea. It was the spaghettis. Thought I told you.”

Ezra watched her carefully whilst sipping from his mug. “I heard...”

The weight of his scrutiny made Lily shift involuntarily. She didn’t bother looking up from her mug because she could recognize the heat of his gaze anywhere.

Perhaps it was selfish. Unkind. Pathetic. Dumb. Unethical and a dick move keeping the news of her pregnancy from her but the way things were going, it was the only choice he had. Telling him would be like handing him another rope to tie her down.

Could she blame him, though?

No. Surprisingly, after every thing that happened between them, her mind still refused putting the tag of damage and destruction on him. Things went downhill and it was both of them.

It didn’t give him the right to take away her freedom. That was the only thing that suffocated her. He was punishing her for what he mistook as love.

“I might come back early today.” Ezra said when he took the last bite of his sandwich. “Do you wanna go out with me?”

Lily looked up into his fascinating blue eyes. “No.”

Something flickered in those blues, his jaw tensed and throat moved. She waited for him to demand a ‘yes’ or ask why.

It never came. His protest.

“Okay.” He said. “As my Lillian wishes.” He stood up and disposed the cup and plate into the sink.

Slightly taken aback, Lily stared at her mug. Her mind paused for a few moments. She stood up in her haze and turned only to bump into his hard chest.

The mug dropped and crashed. Lily jumped back and gaped at the mug

“I–I... Sorry, I wasn’t looking, it–” she bent to pick up the pieces of the mug but Ezra beat her to it.

“Hey, no problem.” He scolded, “Don’t hurt yourself for a stupid mug.”

Lily swiped her sweaty palms on the side of her dress. The mug had broken into three pieces. Ezra was about to throw it in the bin when something stired in her mind.

“Wait,” she stopped him. “I like that mug.”

Ezra’s eyes flicked to the broken mug then back at her. “It’s broken.”

Lily met his gaze. “I know.”

“I’ll buy you a new one.”

“It won’t be the exact same.”

Ezra frowned at her response. “Yeah but it’s broken.”

Lily peered into his puzzled eyes. “I’ll fix it... Please.”

Ezra stared at the mug for a seconds before pursing his lips and placing the broken pieces on the table. Lily stood on her spot watching as he rummaged through the cupboards, grabbed a few tissues and a tube of glue.

“Fine. Let’s fix this.” He plopped down on the chair and wiped the three pieces of mug carefully.

Lily dragged a chair closer and sat by his side. “Let me help–”

“No.” Ezra ordered. “I don’t even know what’s so fascinating about this but I’m not about to let you hurt yourself.”

Lily clasped her hands on the table and remained silent after that. Ezrs scrunched his forehead in concentration as he applied glue on the mug then put the broken piece there. Same he did to the other piece.

Slowly, Lily reached out and plucked that piece off. It made the frown on his face deepen.

“What are you doing?”

Lily shrugged. Ezra shook his head and took the broken piece of mug back from her before repeating the process.

Again, Lily plucked it off.

Ezra sent her a death glare. Lily calmly absorbed the intensity of his eyes.

“It’s not fixed.”

Ezra took in a deep breath then repeated the process all over again. He was prepared this time when Lily moved so he gripped her hand and held it down.

“When you break something, you can’t repair it in a matter of moments. Let the glue settle. It takes time to fix things. Give it some time.”

The corners of her lips stretched half an inch. It drew his attention. They sat there, looking at each other until the scowl on Ezra’s face dissolved. His breathing got deeper and his eyes fled to the mug.

Lily got up from and her chair and slipped her hand from under his. She bent behind his chair, her lips near his ears as she reached around him and rotated the mug in front of him.

“Yes, it needs time.” She told him. “But, is it as it was? Mending broken things can’t remove the scars. It will only put it back together. Don’t expect it to be perfect. It’s a lot weaker now.”

She placed her lips against his temple and closed her eyes. It wasn’t a kiss yet nothing less than it. Hurting him followed teaching him. She still didn’t like the idea of him suffering but she wanted him to understand her perspective too.

“Can you blame the mug for needing time to repair? Can you blame it for being weaker? Can you blame it for losing it’s original charm?” She straightened up steadily and continued, “Can you blame it for its scars, Ezra?”

She waited patiently for any sign from him but she got a reaction instead. Ezra marched up to his room, leaving her behind. Lily decided it was better giving him space. She peered at the mug long and hard before putting it in her handbag and leaving for the cafe.

Throughout the day, she was distracted. Her throwing up frequently wasn’t helping her secret. It worried her too. What if I have a problem? She made an appointment with the local doctor and visited her. Ezra’s guards followed her to the market but she sneaked out and lost them.

“How did you find out you’re pregnant, Lily?” The doctor asked her as she read the reports of her blood samples.

“I took a couple pregnancy tests and all of them were positive.” Lily replied.

The doctor adjusted her glasses on her nose and put the reports down. “Well, congratulations. You are pregnant.”

Lily didn’t know how to feel about it with the gigantic knots in her stomach.

The doctor put on her elastic gloves and geatured Lily to the bed beside a monitor machine in the corner of the examination room.

“Shall we?”

After five hours of waiting in the hospital, Lily was finally going to see the live growing inside her. It made her feel dizzy. Her legs were getting weaker by the seconds. She took a desperate breathe before climbing the bed in her hospital gown.

“How are you feeling?” The doctor asked her and grabbed the bottle of lube.

Lily gulped. “Nervous.”

The doctor gave her an encouraging smile. “It’s totally fine, dear. All mothers go through it.”

Lily stopped breathing when the cold gel made contact with her burning skin. The doctor turned on the monitor and turned it towards Lily. The device slid across her belly, in search of her little pup.

Lily was eagerly watching the screen until she found what she was looking for.

“Ah, there it is.” The doctor chuckled and pointed out. “See that black spot? That’s your baby.”

Lily died inside looking at the little dot then resurrected to life. The world around her blurred into ashes. Useless, meaningless ashes. All that mattered was the shapeless, colorless, soundless and barely there cluster of tissues. Hot, burning tears welled up in her eyes as her melted into a puddle of mush.

My baby.

All this time she thought the fruit of her suffering would be her mate. The concept of love changed for her in that room. She would sacrifice a thousand mates for that little life protected inside her. The ice around her soul evaporated like it was never there. She had never felt this way.

It was so empowering.

She was a mother.

A mother.

The new sensations coursing through her veins reduced her into a sobbing mess. The doctor awwed and gripped her hand reassuringly as Lily cried her pain out.

“I’m a mom,” she sobbed through her tears, “I have a baby.”

A new layer of mixed feelings covered her skin. It was all so new and intense. She felt overprotective, super possessive, happy, light, alive and so much grateful.

It took her an hour to collect herself then another to clean herself up while shedding a sea of tears.

Mamma loves you baby.

She couldn’t show up as a mess. Ezra would freak out and ask questions. So she bought herself a healthy meal and strolled in the park until it was nearly sunset.

Seated on a bench, she was eating her sandwich when she noticed an old lady sitting on the grass beside the small pond. She was staring at the sandwich in Lily’s hand.

The joy swarming in Lily dimmed downed a tad bit. She thought the lady is hungry so she sat beside her on the grass and gave her the rest of her meal.

“Here. You must be hungry.” Lily put the bag of burger and chicken nuggets in front of her.

The old lady had a wrinkled face, white hair in a tight braid. Her dress was a faded color of maroon.

“Thank you, dear child.” She patted Lily’s head and took the bag. “May the goddess reward you for your kindness.”

Lily smiled at her then asked, “Why are you sitting here? There’s a bench over there.”

The lady gestured at the pond. “I’m a psychic. Water is my element.”

Lily stopped the frown of confusion on her face. She didn’t want to offend her.

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

Lily snapped her eyes up. The lady had a knowing smile on her face.

“Uhh...” Lily struggled, “No, I mean...”

“It’s alright. Many don’t. That’s why I usually prove to them my powers before telling them your fortune.”

Lily took a small bite from her sandwich and nodded, not knowing what to say.

“Would you let me try?”

Lily paused.

“I will tell you your fortune.”

“I’m okay. I don’t want to–”

“Don’t be silly,” the lady waved her protest off. “You don’t believe in it, anyway. Just let me try.”

Lily thought about it and shrugged. Where was the harm if she didn’t believe in it?

“Okay.” She put her sandwich down and put her hands in the awaiting hands of the lady.

She hummed and closed her eyes. “Beautiful.” She said, “Your father and mother had a wonderful bond. Your sister was a gem too.”

Mentioning her family struck a cord in Lily’s guts. She tried retrieving her hands but the lady held them firmly.

“Ah, your mother was an excellent cook. That’s where you got your talent. And my, my, your mother’s garden was extraordinary.”

Dread strangled Lily.

“I-I need to go. Can you please let my hands go.”

“Oh, honey. It was a tragedy. You were so young.”

“It’s getting late, please.”

The lady suddenly snapped her eyes open. All traces of emotions left her face. Lily froze looking into her eyes.

“You’re cursed.”

Lily started shaking. “What?”

“You’re cursed,” the lady squeezed her hands painfully tight. “Everyone you love is destined to die. The moon goddess had cursed you, child.”

“I,” Lily panted, “I’m sure there’s some kind of misunderstanding–”

“You’re cursed.” The lady repeated urgently. “You hear me?”

Lily was ready to choke on air when the voice pierced through her horror.

“Lillian!”

That was enough for her to yank her hands out of the lady’s clutches and run. She ran without looking where she was head. Ezra caught her before she could have stumbled.

“Relax.” He urged her and cupped her face. “What’s wrong?”

Lily pointed at the pond but when she turned, there was no one there.

“What?” Ezra followed her finger with his gaze.

“She... I...” Lily stuttered.

“You’re shaking, baby.” Ezra drew her closer. “Where were you all day? I was worried.”

Lily was too shaken to answer or comprehend anything else. Her eager hug surprised Ezra. Whatever it was, it bothered her more than he could bear.

“Let’s go home.” He scooped her up in his arms and strode away from the pond.

Lily peeked over his arms hoping it was all a hallucination but the lady was there again. Looking right at her.

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