Life goes on like the wind. Sometimes I feel too overwhelmed and wonder how the dots would eventually connect in the future. Being a single child has its perks and may look appealing from the outside but, sometimes it gets too lonely.
Others might say, “Hey! You have your mom and dad.” however, I have always been a bit reserved when it comes to confiding my thoughts to mom and dad. Anyways enough with these philosophical thoughts! I had reached the 10th standard this year and couldn’t afford any slack in my studies. Besides, mom is being extremely strict regarding my studies these days. So right now I am busy trying to learn my history chapter before I get in trouble.
“Divisha! How many pages have you completed till now!” Oh my gosh.. I am gone. I mean no matter how many pages I learn mom is never happy with me. “I have done 2 pages. They are very vast so it took a lot of time to learn at least this much mom.” I say, trying to prevent mom from getting angry at me.
“Ok fine. Go to sleep. Its getting late.” I try to evade having to go to bed by saying, “Mum I have to drink milk but its too hot” Oh no
“I am fed up with your excuses everyday. Because of you papa doesn’t sleep on time and has to deal with a headache next day!” Ouch that hurt. “Ok sorry. I am going.” I feel sad when mom talks to me like that. I don’t know if this makes me sensitive but whenever she blames me for not actually caring then it hits a spot deep within me. I know I am not good at showing love and affection even to my parents, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care or worry.
Anyways I can’t do anything about it. I go to my room and shut the door behind me getting ready to sleep. I have a whole set of a routine before I go to sleep and trust me I like to take my time doing it. It relaxes me and helps to make all the bad things that happen move in to a box kept at the back of my mind.
You know with the online schools going on during the pandemic I really miss my friends especially Omya and Kavya. But despite being a little nostalgic about all the good memories that we had in school I am reluctant to go to school if it opens.
First and foremost reason is that I have gained weight and all my jeans have become so tight that I feel very uncomfortable in my own skin. I am self conscious walking in front of my own parents! Trust me I have started doing exercise everyday but my body type is very different. I don’t eat much junk food but still I seem to gain fat especially in my thighs.
But I have got to be patient. They say patience is a virtue. But I have also had problem with being disciplined and being regular with my goals or you could say agenda. For instance I do forget to do exercise or my music practice. God has given me the capability to sing and don’t get me wrong. I do want to use it for good and not let this blessing go waste. But I feel that I start procrastinating sometimes and forget my priorities.
Anyways I am not going to give mom another reason to scold me tonight. I had better go to sleep. I always find the time before going to bed as peaceful. Everything is quiet and restful. I have never been scared of the dark. In fact many nights before sleeping I sit on my bed and just stare at the dark contemplating things.
I feel that there is a reason why I and others of course have been born in this world. Maybe I sound mystical, but I really wish to know what is the goal and the objective of life. Being a student I keep on studying and all that jazz and that’s fine I guess. However I have never really done it for a reason. I still don’t have any defined or set goal in life and it bothers me.
I lie down on my bed and feel relaxed. “Well Divisha lets see what life has in store of me” I say with a sigh. I feel very peaceful during my night time. Everything is quiet. I close my eyes and take a deep breath trying to get sleep with an empty mind.
I am weightless. frictionless. I am feeling as if I am made of nothing. I am nothing. I feel something hard under me as if it is the only thing stopping me from falling. Wait, I am hurtling with blinding speed towards the sky. I realize I am on my bed and frantically grab the bed sheets to steady myself. After some time which seems endless I notice the sky and I am filled with awe. My heart almost stops upon seeing it.
It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. Its filled with stars covering every inch like a blanket. Its scintillating. I feel like I am drowning in them. I see the Milky Way Galaxy stretching across the sky. It dazzles me. I feel at peace seeing such a stunning scene chasing the stars.
All of a sudden the bed stops and floats in the sky. My heart is in my mouth as I tear away my eyes from the sky and lean over the bed to see down. Before I can see below the bed jerks and I frantically grab the edges looking at the sky again. My heart wrenches at the beauty of the sky and I try to memorize the way it looks forever in my mind before I head towards my death. “Be what you are” I gasp hearing a voice which reverberates through my body.
All of a sudden the bed disappears and before I can even comprehend something I start falling towards the ground. Or what I think is a ground. I fall so rapidly that I feel as light as a feather. I feel nothing. I feel as if there is no molecule in my body left. For the first time I feel so free. As if all the ties and bonds setting me back have been severed. I see the sky go further and further away and can hear the wind whooshing in my ears.
Time is endless. I could be falling for minutes or hours. I have no idea. Its infinite. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins reverberating in every part of my body. I start wondering about the ground but try to forget it. All of a sudden I feel an Earth shattering impact which squeezes the breath out of me.
Are you enjoying my ongoing story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Infinite_Faith15Write a Review