Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Doug J Robbins would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

You Don't Scare Uncle Clarence

By Doug J Robbins All Rights Reserved ©

Other / Fantasy

Blurb

Uncle Clarence is very brave.

Chapter 1

In a brick red house, there lived a man named Clarence. His niece, Dorothy was spending Halloween with her uncle Clarence in his red brick house. There she sat in front of the television, little pug nose turned up like a baby snout of a wee little pig,  staring at the television. The wolf man howled on television and Dorothy gave a shudder. ''Uncle Clarence!'' She called to her uncle. 
Uncle Clarence came into the living room, carrying a big green bowl of popcorn and set it on the coffee table. ''What is it?'' Uncle Clarence asked.
''I don't like Halloween. It's too scary,'' Dorothy lamented.
''Why do you say that?'' Uncle Clarence stole a hand full of popcorn.
Dorothy shook her head. ''There are all kinds of creepy crawly things that come out on Halloween.''
Uncle Clarence shoved a piece of popcorn into his mouth and puzzled over the girl's statement. ''You know,'' he said. ''Halloween isn't as scary as you think.''
Someone knocked on the front door. Grabbing the bowl of candy, he hurried to the door and found a very scary thing indeed. He found a purple alien, seven foot two, staring down at him. The big alien dude spoke in a language not of this planet. 
Thinking fast, he got his un-scrambler, a device that looked like a tape recorder and  pressed play. It translated his language and he found out the thing wanted human socks. Shrugging Uncle Clarence took of his socks and handed them to the alien. 
He snatched them and gobbled them up quick. The critter turned with a wave and headed off into the evening. ''He wasn't very scary. He was kind of funny,'' Dorothy stated.
''I told you, Halloween isn't very scary,'' Uncle Clarence said with a wink. 
Next came the howling ghost with the ax in his head. He howled and shrieked and asked for an aspirin for his splitting headache. Uncle Clarence ran to the bathroom and hurried back right quick and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed both to the pained specter. 
He threw the aspirin down his gullet and gulped down the water. ''Thanks, pal,'' the terrible ghost replied. ''I feel like a new man already.''
''You're welcome indeed,'' Uncle Clarence remarked.
He closed the door and turned to his niece. 
''Could I hand out the next bit of candy?'' questioned Dorothy.
Ding dong went the doorbell. 
''Most certainly,'' Uncle Clarence answered, handing the bowl to the kid. 
Dorothy opened the door and saw a furry critter with purple fur staring back at her. He stood close to her height and quivered and shook. A much bigger creature with purple fur stood behind the smaller one. ''Go ahead, son,'' the big monster said. ''The human's not gonna hurt you.''
''Me?'' Dorthy managed to ask.
The little  monster nodded. ''Humans like to eat monsters. It's a fact.''
''No we don't. Who told you that?'' Dorothy questioned.
The tiny monster replied. ''The kids at monster school.''
Dorothy's mouth dropped open and said in retaliation. ''Monsters are the scary ones.''
''We are not,'' The little monster professed. 
''Sounds like you both have misconceptions about each other,'' Uncle Clarence added.
''People and monsters aren't so different,'' The big monster nodded.
Dorothy gave the little monster some candy and the little monster and his daddy monster went off into the night. ''Is Halloween so scary?'' Uncle Clarence asked.
''No. It's not very scary at all,'' Dorothy remarked, smiling.

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Doug J Robbins
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Elizabeth Robbins: 4.5 starsAs far as apocalypse stories go, this one took a new direction. I'm glad someone finally addressed the need for a vampire apocalypse! This is sort of a multi-genre festival of delights. With hints of forced societies, vamps, hunters, romance, apocalypse, government conspiracy, and thrill...

Usagi Kita: This story is emotional from beginning to end. You get to watch the characters struggle and grow, maturing in different ways so that they come to be the people they are meant to be. Inea is insanely adorable, and his antics made me laugh more than once, and Kaedon is perfect for him in so many wa...

JWalker: I loved this story from start to finish! It flows at a really nice pace and the story world feels so real. The fight sequences are a treat especially when Isanfyre is training to become a warrior. I found the names really cool and thankfully easy to pronounce. Personally I have always struggled w...

catd69: Karim is a very talented writer. When I started reading his journey it took me into the book and I was in the story till the end. I've never felt this way with any other writers stories. If you want to read a gripping adventure, this will be the one book I would suggest you pick.

FinnTH: I hope there is a sequel to The Knowing Ones because these characters are very distinct. The imagery of the forest and Adriana's connection to the woods is powerful.

Brie Lundy: I have never read a story like this before. It was riveting. It kept me captive. Once I started it I couldn't stop until it was finished. 10/10. I need more of this book. They need to find the Wizard!!

Lauren Suzmeyan-Raine: I'm so glad you found a place to post your stories. I was horrified when I saw yours had been taken down, they are definitely the best 'reading' stories I've ever read. And I've made it my business to read every one I can. Well done.Lauren

ernbelle: When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...

skippybash12: This story has engaging characters that you care about and a plot that is unpredictable and exciting. It is well written with a believable voice. Great weekend escape and if there was a sequel available I would buy it today -

More Recommendations

Hudson: Your story was fantastic Erin! The Rising Sun was one of the first stories I read on Inkitt, and I have to say I don't regret the three to four days I spent pouring through the story.Probably the biggest strength I see in your writing is your characterisation of Eliana, Oriens, and the rest of th...

sujitha nair: What's so distinct about this story was that it could easily be real. Praveena can be your classmate, neighbor or that girl you saw at the coffee shop today. The important decisions she makes and the dilemmas she faces, remind us of our own twisted lives.

Felisa Yoder Osburn: I really enjoyed the story. Civil War stories are some of my favorites and the intertwining of the past with current times was wonderful. I look forward to reading the next stories.

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral stories!
King's Lament

FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"

The Cyneweard

Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral story!
Spectra

Ro-Ange Olson: "Loved it and couldn't put it down. I really hope there is a sequel. Well written and the plot really moves forward."