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You Don't Scare Uncle Clarence

By Doug J Robbins All Rights Reserved ©

Other / Fantasy


Uncle Clarence is very brave.

Chapter 1

In a brick red house, there lived a man named Clarence. His niece, Dorothy was spending Halloween with her uncle Clarence in his red brick house. There she sat in front of the television, little pug nose turned up like a baby snout of a wee little pig,  staring at the television. The wolf man howled on television and Dorothy gave a shudder. ''Uncle Clarence!'' She called to her uncle. 
Uncle Clarence came into the living room, carrying a big green bowl of popcorn and set it on the coffee table. ''What is it?'' Uncle Clarence asked.
''I don't like Halloween. It's too scary,'' Dorothy lamented.
''Why do you say that?'' Uncle Clarence stole a hand full of popcorn.
Dorothy shook her head. ''There are all kinds of creepy crawly things that come out on Halloween.''
Uncle Clarence shoved a piece of popcorn into his mouth and puzzled over the girl's statement. ''You know,'' he said. ''Halloween isn't as scary as you think.''
Someone knocked on the front door. Grabbing the bowl of candy, he hurried to the door and found a very scary thing indeed. He found a purple alien, seven foot two, staring down at him. The big alien dude spoke in a language not of this planet. 
Thinking fast, he got his un-scrambler, a device that looked like a tape recorder and  pressed play. It translated his language and he found out the thing wanted human socks. Shrugging Uncle Clarence took of his socks and handed them to the alien. 
He snatched them and gobbled them up quick. The critter turned with a wave and headed off into the evening. ''He wasn't very scary. He was kind of funny,'' Dorothy stated.
''I told you, Halloween isn't very scary,'' Uncle Clarence said with a wink. 
Next came the howling ghost with the ax in his head. He howled and shrieked and asked for an aspirin for his splitting headache. Uncle Clarence ran to the bathroom and hurried back right quick and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed both to the pained specter. 
He threw the aspirin down his gullet and gulped down the water. ''Thanks, pal,'' the terrible ghost replied. ''I feel like a new man already.''
''You're welcome indeed,'' Uncle Clarence remarked.
He closed the door and turned to his niece. 
''Could I hand out the next bit of candy?'' questioned Dorothy.
Ding dong went the doorbell. 
''Most certainly,'' Uncle Clarence answered, handing the bowl to the kid. 
Dorothy opened the door and saw a furry critter with purple fur staring back at her. He stood close to her height and quivered and shook. A much bigger creature with purple fur stood behind the smaller one. ''Go ahead, son,'' the big monster said. ''The human's not gonna hurt you.''
''Me?'' Dorthy managed to ask.
The little  monster nodded. ''Humans like to eat monsters. It's a fact.''
''No we don't. Who told you that?'' Dorothy questioned.
The tiny monster replied. ''The kids at monster school.''
Dorothy's mouth dropped open and said in retaliation. ''Monsters are the scary ones.''
''We are not,'' The little monster professed. 
''Sounds like you both have misconceptions about each other,'' Uncle Clarence added.
''People and monsters aren't so different,'' The big monster nodded.
Dorothy gave the little monster some candy and the little monster and his daddy monster went off into the night. ''Is Halloween so scary?'' Uncle Clarence asked.
''No. It's not very scary at all,'' Dorothy remarked, smiling.

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