CHAPTER ONE
A Date With Destiny
I first met Holly in the fall of 2000.
She looked shy, and she was quiet, yet she had an aura of serenity about her (and she was very pretty) so I asked her out.
On our first date, we had a few drinks, and then to my surprise, we made love.
I was curious, and I said bashfully, “I was hoping to get to kiss you tonight Holly, so I’m surprised and also delighted that we made love.”
Holly rolled away from me, and placing her hands behind her head, she stared at the ceiling and said, “Yeah, well, what if we’re people who are destined to have really short lives.”
I was a bit bemused by her strange statement, then Holly whispered, “I kinda think that people should make hay while the sun shines.”
I had to use the bathroom, and when I came back, Holly was kneeling in the corner, her hands pyramided in front of her chest in a praying motion, and I asked, “Holly, you okay?”
She seemed embarrassed that I had caught her kneeling in the corner, and she closed her eyes and whispered something, then she jumped back into bed.
Before she left that morning I asked, “Holly, would you like to do something this Friday?”
Instead of answering, she lowered her gaze, and I thought, Damn. If she wanted to go out with me again, the simple answer would be, Sure, or even better she could say, Yes, I’d like that … but no, the answer I got was a lowered gaze. Maybe I was just a one stand for her.
After an excruciating few minutes, Holly raised her gaze and asked meekly, “Really, you want to see me again?”
I had to lower my gaze now, because I was confused. Her response didn’t make sense, I mean if I didn’t want to see her again I wouldn’t have asked her out, but I did want to see her again. She was rather shy and I had to start most of our conversations, yet when she did speak her voice had a gentle poetic rhythm about it, and her eyes seemed to sparkle, and well, she was pretty. I considered taking her over to a mirror and saying, Look in the mirror and that might help you understand why I want to see you again. Instead I looked into her eyes and said hopefully, “I had a really nice night Holly, so yes, I would like to see you again.”
She examined my eyes for a moment, then she said in her shy, gentle voice, “You’re a nice guy James, so I’m sure there’s a nice girl out there for you.”
I’m not bold or daring, yet in a moment of unusual bravado, I said, “Holly, I’m hoping that the nice girl for me is you, and I’d love to go out with you again.”
With her head down, she muttered, “Okay, I guess we can go out one more time.”
She had accepted my invitation, although her acceptance seemed reluctant and without enthusiasm. Maybe I was just going to be a two-night stand for her. The Eternal Optimist part of me was thinking, Treat her like a Princess on the second date, and win her over with your charm and sophistication … but one (or two) things that plain and regular guys like me lacked, were charm and sophistication.
*
We did go out on the Friday night, and I was very excited. I wanted to buy her something nice, yet I didn’t want to scare her off. It was obvious that I liked her more than she liked me, so if I brought her a piece of jewellery she might think, Whoa, slow down pal … so instead I brought her a single red rose. When I picked her up, I gave the rose to her and said, “Red roses are beautiful, and they remind me of you.”
She lowered her gaze and said quietly, “Yes, they are beautiful, so thank-you.”
We had a lovely meal at a restaurant, and then we went back to my place. I was excited by the prospect of kissing Holly again, yet I was still conscious of not scaring her off, so I said, “Holly, would you like a drink, and then we can listen to some music.”
She looked into my eyes, and she kept looking, seemed to be examining my eyes. I wasn’t sure what she was looking for, because I didn’t have expressive eyes that could tell stories; I just had plain dull eyes that helped me see things. She shrugged her shoulders and said bashfully, “I don’t feel like a drink, but I dunno, do you wanta make love?”
Whoa … you could have knocked me over with a feather. Holly had been reluctant and without enthusiasm when accepting my invitation to go out again; and she wasn’t enthusiastic about having a drink or listening to music, it seemed like her enthusiasm only flared when she had the opportunity to jump into bed. With my heart thumping, I said meekly, “Yes, I’d like that.” Holly took my hand and led me into the bedroom, and as she loosened the tie of her skirt, I thought about her strange statement the previous week; What if we’re people who are destined to have really short lives …
*
The next week we went out again on the Friday, and the following week she stayed at my place for the whole weekend. I didn’t want to seem like I was smothering her, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her, so I rang her every second day.
Every time I saw her, we Made hay while the sun shines, and I knew that I was seriously falling for her.
I had never met anyone as nice as her.
She smiled when we saw small children, and she said hello to the elderly, and she patted dogs and she threw scraps to the birds, and if she saw a complete stranger who looked distressed, she went up to them and said, Are you okay, can I help you?
Holly never spoke out of turn, and I had to initiate any conversation, although when she did speak, she spoke of how beautiful everything was, and how nice people were. I worked with a few people who weren’t nice, they were a pain in the ass; yet I suspected that in Holly’s world, everything was Sunshine and Rainbows. And yeah, when I looked into her eyes, I could see my Pot Of Gold.
After being with her for two months, I knew that I wanted her in my life forever, so I nervously approached her one Sunday morning and asked, “Holl, I’d like to go steady with you.”
She dithered for a moment, then said, “I like you, I really like you, but I’m kinda happy with the way things are.”
I was devastated, so I didn’t ring her for two days.
But God, I wanted to see her.
Still bruised by her refusal, I tried to be nonchalant when I rang her, although by hearing her voice, I had to see her. “I dunno,” I muttered, “Wanta catch up?”
We did catch up, and we made hay, and as I dreamily gazed at her, I asked tentatively, “Holl, are you, I mean, I dunno, are you seeing someone else?”
She gazed at me with a look of pity on her face and replied, “No, of course not; I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Okay, we get on so well, and I’m just confused as to why you don’t want to go steady.”
She closed her eyes and was quiet for minutes, the minutes unbearably tense, then she whispered, “Isn’t what we have good enough for you?”
“Ohhh, it is!” I trumpeted. “But I have deep feelings for you, and I want to be with you forever.”
Holly sighed, then said despondently, “Most things aren’t forever James, and you know, maybe I’m not forever.”
Such a strange thing to say, and I thought about it constantly over the next week, and when I saw her on the Friday night, I said affectionately, “Holl, if you want to leave things as they are, well okay, but you have to know that I’m so into you, I mean yeah, I think I’m in love you.”
Then to my surprise, Holly cried.
I was rattled by her unexpected display of emotion, and trying to comfort her, I asked, “Holl, what’s wrong?”
After wiping a few tears away, she said meekly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t want that to happen.”
“What? You didn’t want me to fall in love with you?” I asked in confusion.
“I didn’t want you developing feelings for me, so, so I’m sorry.” she sniffled.
Boy, was I bewildered, yet hoping to reinforce my commitment, I said, “Holl, you don’t have to apologise, because I love you and I love spending time with you.”
Looking straight at me with her big tearful eyes, she said quietly, “What if something happens to me, and you’ve wasted all your time courting me?”
“I will make sure that nothing ever happens to you baby.”
Tears trickled down her cheek as she whispered, “You can’t change fate.”
