~In my journey to become more human.
I believe I've become more of a monster.
I meet my next victim
She is a philosophy major which to me sounds rather pointless to me as a major but strikes me as the perfect type of girl I'd like to get to know a little better and kill for her heart. An enlightenment so to speak.
I feel badly for my thoughts. I have deevolved into something of a predator as of late. I can not seem to succeed in finding my humanity. I'm almost afraid to see Luke again, as he would be disappointed in the type of person I have become. Someone that hunts for human hearts in the name of love. |
Was this what love looked like?
I doubted that very much.
I have become a monster. Just like Drake. Just like the man I hated so much from my past that hurt me. Did that make me evil? Did that mean I deserved now, my evil fate?
I had always been the innocent victim. Now, as the murderer, was I beginning to deserve my evil destiny.
I sigh, staring into the girl's eyes. I try to feel love for her. try to feel the true friendship the devil required me to feel so that her heart would absorb my love, think me a true friend and then she could die and I could bring her heart to the devil and see Luke again.
All I can think about is Luke now. He is my life. My world. My first and final love.
I would do anything for him and this was the manifestation of all of her loveful promises to him. She would do anything for him. She would die for him. Do bad things for him. And at this point, even kill for him.
I am devastated as I realize this.
I press to the philosophy major girl in front of me, "But why ask why? Why not just go with the flow of it? And what of love? What of that?"
"I just think existentialism is more important than the flow of it," the girl replied, smiling enthusiastically.
A true friend?
I felt my lips curl into a smile and my mouth water at the thought of killing and de hearting the woman. The monster I've become has no mercy on its victims. I have transformed from woman to beast and I am no longer the innocent girl I once was those thousand years ago.
I am vampiress. And I hunt my friends.
My next victim continues to smile at me and I continue to smile back.
I take her to my room, and find myself, in a mad hysteria as I pull out a butcher knife and stab her to death.
Poor Luke. If he were to see me like this, he would cry. I was no longer the girl I once was. I was no longer sweet and kind and good and a queen that could care for him and make him happy. If that were true, then why was I still doing this to see him? Why was I bringing the hearts of young woman to the devil just to disappoint Luke when he was to see me again.
I lap up her blood, as a vampiress, I do require it still. And though I do not prefer human blood, I am no longer Luke's Angel and now I feel like I do crave human blood. The blood lust and smell of blood and feeding frenzy drives me mad with pleasure as I drain every drop of blood from the poor woman's body.
The girl is dead and I sob to myself. For my sake. For Luke's sake. And for the girl's Sake.
Why did I do the things I do.
And what could keep me from playing the Devil's game for all eternity. I did not know. I was a tragic and stupid woman. A stupid woman indeed who would kill just to see a man who would surely reject her on sight after seeing what kind of monster she had become.
Luke had been good and honest and righteous. When he saw her again, should that day ever come, he would clearly be disappointed and angry that she had become what she had become. A murderer. And in his name as well. That was all she was.
A murderer. And her friends, her victim.