too late for regrets
At seven pm, though my eyes were glued to my laptop’s screen, my mind was on a complete different dimension of its own. Since the blood test, I kept thinking that this were the last hours I was going to spend in my bed, before I disappear or get killed. For the first time, I thought of all the things I had not accomplished in my bucket list. Say, I didn’t have a girlfriend yet, I knew nothing of my biological parents, and I have never been on a train or a motorbike, never tried out for dancing, among very many other things.
A knock on the door interrupted my four hours long string of thoughts. I sluggishly averted my gaze from the laptop towards my door. My dad had his head pop inside the room through a small space.
“What do you want?” I asked candidly “And why do you have your eyes closed?”
“In case you were on the nude, I heard some voices “he said opening one eye. I quickly checked my laptop and there, an X-rated film was playing. I had no idea I was watching it, that was how much I had zoned out. I speedily paused it.
“I want to ‘hang’ with you” dad smiled while tip toing towards my bed
“You never hang out with me”
“Well, today I want to” he grinned. With a small jump, he landed beside me on my bed.
“What are you watching?” he sneakily glanced at my laptop’s screen
“What are you doing?” I frowned when he made himself comfortable. He was the busiest man I ever knew and it came as a surprise to me when he came to my room. Every minute and second counted to him and thus he wouldn’t waste it ‘hanging out’ with me. Though he expressed affection as a father in a financial way, the only way he knew how, he never had the chance to spend time with me. Except when I was sick he would spend a maximum of only twenty minutes asking me what I want and that was just it. I understood he was a man of great responsibility, him being the CEO of one of the largest companies in our country.
“You don’t have to do this” I said
“Do what?” he rolled his eyes while pressing play on the laptop. The movie had stopped on an explicit scene and you could get how awkward the moment was. I switched it off before my face got red.
“You are growing” he chuckled as he looked at the lotion on the study table beside my bed. I had a pretty good idea of what he was thinking and I wasn’t going to allow him to evade my question. I stared at him directly with no intention of speaking for some while.
“Okay” he sighed gloomily “I’m worried”
He shifted his position such that we faced each other oppositely. My eyes caught his fingers faintly quivering, the edges of his nails were partially chewed and slightly red. He did that only when he was extremely troubled or stressed up about something.
“Dad, I’m cool. You don’t have to be worried or anything” I lied. I was also deeply terrified and confused, I wasn’t just good at showing it off. Somehow, I think my dad always knew when I wasn’t okay because he looked at his watch then abruptly stood up.
“Pack your things” he said “we will take my private plane and leave this country. We will start a new life in someplace where we won’t be found”
“Dad…” I protested
“Better yet, let’s just leave immediately” he started dialing his phone. It only took a second before he called the number, no doubt it was his pilot.
“I’m not leaving” I interrupted him. “I’m not going anywhere”
Dad looked at me with a horror struck face.
“We are not escaping” I said after some thought
Dad came and sat beside me appearing a bit bewildered.
“I…I don’t think it’s safe for you, you saw the doctors, how they left abruptly”
“I know but if we run you will also have a target on your back” I said
“Michael” dad sighed
“I won’t allow you to throw away all the things you have worked for. Your watch company. Furthermore, the blood test is a program run by multiple governments around the world, how long do you think we have before we are tracked. Maybe an hour or two? We can only wait and hope for the best”
“I wish I listened to you earlier, about the tests. I made you take it without doing sufficient research on it…it’s my fault” his face grew weary, like he had aged ten more years
“No one made me do anything” I said “I wasn’t forced or something, remember I was the one who offered my arm”
“You don’t have to worry about me, dad” I added with a smile