Dragon Versus Bacon

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Chapter 6: Don't Stop Believing

It had served many masters. Passed down from generation to generation, Styvronikas Atialyis Maxtrogitone was the true soul of the mighty bumblebee clan. Throughout the many wars with the butterfly clan, it had watched a thousand souls separate from their mortal bodies. Consequently, it felt no remorse as it watched this outsider inch closer to his death. Then, the sword realized something. If its new master died, that harpy wench, Aevynha, would take it back and try to copy it again.


Screaming with a mixture of bloodlust and fear of returning to the whore goddess of slut island, haven of harlots, it wiggled furiously, dislodging itself from the wall. The sword roared and glided through the air in a wide, beautiful arc. It drifted through the dragon, easily paring it in two.

“Bacon strip! Hear me! We will go to the land of my people. There you will learn to fight with me in a symbiotic relationship where we slice and dice as one! Then, we will kill this ultimate dragon! Once we have mastered our full potential, the skanky witch dies!”

“I hate her too, but she isn’t really a who--”

“SILENCE, FOOL!” The sword slapped Bacon with its blunt edge. “WE RIDE!”

It floated down the street, not really paying attention to whether or not Bacon was following. Bacon sighed, retrieved the DEI from under the carriage and then hurried after the sword.

He followed it for several miles before it stopped at a run-down tavern. It pounded on the door with a distant, yet complex pattern that could be described as “Tap, Tap, Tatap, Tap Tap, Tap... ...Tatatatap Tap Tap, Tap. Tap tap tap, tatap taptap tatap,” for a minute repeatedly before a black salamander person with light-blue spots wearing a bathrobe opened the door.

“Sensei Arukoru! I have returned!”

“Ahh! My old friend! What brings you here?”

“I need you to train this walking bacon strip how not to suck at sword fighting!”

Bacon spoke up, “I need to kill a legendary dragon, but I don’t think I can. I believed in myself and I felt like I was strong enough before, but he still beat me easily when I tried. Now he’s even stronger and I have become weak and tiny!”

Arukoru frowned. “No, Bacon Strip.” He shook his head for emphasis. “Do not stop believing! Hold on! Hold on to that feeling.”

He turned and walked inside, beckoning Bacon to follow. “The only people who are truly weak are those who believe that they are weak. These people do not know the strength they posses. One man can destroy a nation if he believes in himself and if he believes in his sword. If one man can do such a thing, then a bacon strip can also destroy a dragon if he believes in himself and his sword.”

“That doesn’t make sense!”


He spun around and paused, staring deeply into the Bacon Strip’s very soul.

“No. You do not make sense.”


“Your face... it does not make sense.”

He turned to the sword. “Go now and rest, Atialyis. I will train your Bacon Strip.”

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