Neither you, nor I
When I was little, that didn’t bother me that much cause I considered her to be my entire world. I didn’t grew up with a paternal figure, she was both mother and father or tried to be and failed miserably. She is so protective of me that makes me wanna get as far from her as possible. Her sole presence makes me feel suffocated like I am in a prison and she is the guardian.
I know that a mother should not make you feel this way, I have read enough to understand the concept of parentship and I have seen my fair share of parents doting their kids on the street, in shops, at school and where not. My relationship with my prison warden is not a conventional one but she is still my mother. A mother that I should respect and never answer back to her. So why am I not happy? Why am I felling this way?
Am I just a difficult person and my standards concerning people are too high?
I don’t want the typical answer that everything has a purpose and people are in your life to guide you to be that someone that is written for you to be.
It’s just like you would say that a parent that abused his child did it for the greater good, to shape him into the man that he will need to become one day. That’s true bullshit.
For me is my mother, what she created, the way she formed me, always being thoroughly analyzed by her transformed me into an introvert. It became hard to communicate, to make friends, to go out and have fun like a normal 22 years old girl.
I have little to no friends, well if you could call them that. There is this one girl that I talk to occasionally but since we finished highschool we hadn’t seen each other at all. I told her that I would like to see her but she was always so busy. She made a new boyfriend and she is always travelling and spending time with him. I get it, I can’t compare myself to her boyfriend. I am not that important and that’s okay.
Anyway, passing all this depressing shit as I was saying before I was cooking. Correction, I am trying to cook because I am very hungry. My stomach hurts cause I haven’t eaten since this morning and now it is 5.00 P.M. I had classes until now and I am way too lazy to wake up earlier to make myself something to eat.
I hate mornings , I am more of a night owl. I like the peace that the dark can offer you, the vast night that has no end. Something about this obscure world fells enchanting.
My thoughts were interrupted by a ring at the door. I don’t usually have visitors and when I say usually it means never. Going to the door I check the peep hole and saw a handsome man around 25 years. Of course I opened and forgot how to speak.
Before me was a man of a handsome so rare, that I could say I can watch the sun but not him. His eyes of a blue that could compete with the sky on a face shaped like a God, with a stubble so even and black that matched his rosy lips.
MAN : “Hi!”
JOYCE : “Ye..ahh.. , hi!”
Damn, I can’t even talk. Get it together.
JOYCE : “How can I help you?”
MAN : " I am here to leave a message for your mother?”
JOYCE : “She is not home”
MAN : “I can wait”
JOYCE : “I can pass on the message, you can tell me your name”
That was the last thing I said as he passed by me and entered the house.
JOYCE : ” Where are you going?”
MAN : ” As I said before, and pay attention, I don’t like to repeat myself, I am going to wait right here.”
I was a little shocked at his harsh tone but I did not wait long before I answered back.
JOYCE : " And who let you entered my house?”
He laughed in my face, he actually has a very beautiful laugh. Damn this man.
MAN : ” Do I need your permission? Tell me Eudora, do you know to whom you are speaking?”
JOYCE : “What? You have the wrong person, my name is Joyce.”
He sighted and then sat down on the sofa. I didn’t knew what to do, should I call the police? Most probably.
As I reached in my pants for the phone, the door opened again and my mother came in the house with a frown on her face. As soon as she saw the handsome man, her face transformed from astonishment to shock into a matter of seconds. Does she know this man.
He made a sign of greeting with his head, not getting up from the sofa.
DONNA : ” Joyce, go to your room!”
JOYCE : " Do you know this man?” I asked my mother.
DONNA : " Yes but it does not concern you, so go away!”
I left my head down and started to move towards my room. I was really curios about what my mother and this wonderfully handsome man were talking about. And why did he called me “Eudora”? Was this a mistake cause he doesn’t seem the kind of man to make mistakes.
Maybe I can get something out of my mother later. Oh shit! I forgot my food downstairs. I will pass really quickly to fetch it without them knowing it.
As I descended the stairs, I could my mother whispering that she is not ready to give me up and that she has not yet told me the truth.
Was is she talking about?
MAN : "Tomorrow night I will be here for her. Do prepare her!"
And then he got out, just as he entered without a second look back
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