I'm Still Breathing
The time has come. Angie, Andy, and Dede couldn’t sleep, so they watched television. Andy in a very uncomfortable chair; Dede and Angie on the sofa at either end covered in a blanket waiting for a phone call.
“What time is it?” Dede asked for like the tenth time.
“A little after midnight. We should hear something soon.”
“I hope he’s alright,” Andy whispered.
“If he dies,” Angie let that hang and stared at her brother.
He lowered his eyes and watched the cable channel. The news was bad; isn’t it always?
Minutes later, the phone rang then Angie picked it up on the first ring. “Bill?” She put the call on speaker.
“It’s me; we got him; but he’s on his way to the hospital; he may not make it.”
Relieved, she asked, “Are you Okay?”
“Yeah, I’m alright, but one of our own was killed.”
“Oh, no; do I know him?”
“No, you don’t know him, but David knew him from the academy; they were close.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He needed to take his mind off what happened. “Are you free tomorrow evening at seven?”
A moment’s pause, then, “Yes, I’m free.”
“Meet me at the St. Regis Hotel for dinner and we can talk?”
Just talk? She wondered. “I’ll be there.” She hung up and her smile was blinding.
“I’m going to bed,” Dede left the sofa and Andy gave both his sister’s a hug. I love you guys. Thank you.” His eyes watered.
“We love you too. Get some sleep. You Sir, have a meeting tomorrow afternoon.”
“Oh, joy; I can’t wait. Good night.”
“Good night,” she said with a smile.
At the St. Regis Hotel, a little after seven the following evening, Bill glanced at his watch and wondered if she had forgotten, or if she had become busy and couldn’t make it. He checked his text app and there were no messages. Standing by the front door, he watched and waited. Then, minutes later, she walked in through the revolving doors. Looking positively stunning, wearing a black evening coat, high heels, her hair hung long and loose about her shoulders, and her makeup was flawless. Speechless, he stared at her beauty, as well as others in her vicinity. When she saw him, she smiled and came closer and held out her hand.
“I’m late,” she said and took his hand.
“No, right on time,” he whispered. “Hungry?”
“Starved.” He then led her to the coat room. Once checking her coat, Bill stared at the dress, loving how the back exposed her soft skin and he forgot how to breathe. He followed her inside, and being a Saturday night, it’s busy, but Bill had planned ahead.
“Right this way,” he waiter said and led them to a quiet corner near a window. Menus in hand, they glanced at each other every now and then.
Bill spoke up first. “You look beautiful.”
“Why thank you. You look very handsome.”
“Thank you.” After they ordered, he asked her if she wanted to know about the meeting last night.
“Only if you want to talk about it. It may help.”
“You’re right. Everything went to hell as soon as he showed up, then he saw me. The rest went like this:
“Where’s the kid?” He asked, furious at being set up, then he knew. “You’re a cop.”
“You’re not getting any money tonight. Hand over your weapon.”
“No way, dude, I’m out of here.”
Two patrolmen stood in his way. He panicked and pulled out a gun. He fired multiple rounds firing at me and the officers. It happened quickly. I pulled out my weapon, and hit him in the chest, but he kept firing. He hit me in the chest, but we all had on vests, but one officer was shot in the head. He died instantly.”
“How horrible,” Angie said. “I’m so sorry.” She held out her hand palm up; he took it. They sat that way for several long minutes. They stared at each other feeling so many things.
“We’ll eat and then I have some things I wanted to say upstairs.”
“Upstairs? Oh, you booked a room?” Thrilled, she tried to calm down.
“Yes, if that’s Okay?” She did seem nervous.
Before she could answer him, the food arrived. He ordered chicken, and she ordered seafood. They ate in relative silence.
“Angie, please tell me if you’re not ready. I’ll understand.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.”
He gulped down a piece of chicken took a sip of water. “I’m not worried. It’s been a while, for me, I mean.”
“Oh, I see,” she said and glanced at her plate.
“They say it’s like riding a bike. Once you,” he couldn’t finish.
She took a sip of iced tea. “Once your feet are in the pedals, it’s natural.”
“Natural; yeah, I like that.”
They both grinned and continued with their meal. An hour later and after half a bottle wine, they headed upstairs. He handed her the key. “No turning back.”
“Yeah, no turning back.” She stood there, trembling inside while Bill stood behind her. Heart pounding, she fumbled with her key. “I can never figure out these things.”
“Here, let me,” he whispered. She handed him the key, and they entered their suite. A lovely room greeted them, with a king-size bed; a table with two chairs; a flat screen; and a stereo set.
“I’m not nervous; I just; I lied; I’m nervous. It’s been a while for me too.” She admitted it then walked further inside.
“It’s Okay; we’ll take our time.”
To put some distance between them, she placed her coat and purse on the side chair near the window. Taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart, she looked out the window. Moments later, she felt his warm breath on the back of her neck. It thrilled and exhilarated her to think she could excite him so much, but she felt nervous about doing it.
“I love your hair this way,” he pulled her tighter against him as his lips sought the sensitive skin on the back of her neck. She relaxed, enjoying his kisses, then leaned into him. A few moments later, the warmth was gone.
She turned from the window. “Bill, what?”
He removed his holster and placed it on the side table, then she saw it. “I’m sorry; I thought you knew; I always carry it, off duty or not.”
She didn’t know why it upset her, but it did. “Bill, it’s not the gun so much, but it just reminded me of last night. You put yourself in danger every day and, to be honest, I wish I could predict,” she stopped when he turned from her.
“I know you do.” He came closer and took her hands in his then raised them to his lips and kissed each hand in turn. “I’m glad you can’t because I don’t want to know.”
“But your family, maybe you could have,” she stopped to see his eyes fill with tears. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean.”
He clutched her to him tightly, loving having her close to him like this. “If only I could.” He buried his face in her neck. “Let’s not talk anymore.” He pulled away and smoothed her hair behind her ear.
“It’s just being with you like this, I think about it a lot, more than I should because you and me, it’s not going to be easy. I’m afraid,” she couldn’t finish.
He touched her lips to stop her from speaking. “Angie, there’s no need to be afraid because I’m not afraid, not about that.”
“But Bill, we,” she began, but he interrupted her with a kiss. She closed her eyes and melted against him, then eagerly returned his kisses. She loved kissing him. He reached up and placed his hand on her neck and then they were kissing desperately. His tongue met hers, exciting them both. Her hands moved to his shoulders pulling him closer. Bill’s hands roamed over her curves, then stopped after a moment and rested his forehead against hers.
Instead of speaking, he turned her around and unzipped her dress. “When you walked in, my heart stopped and I couldn’t look away, so glad you made it. I was worried,” he admitted.
“I would have called.” She stepped out of the dress and turned to face him. There she stood in her underwear, and her breasts were exposed. She tried to cover herself. He reached out and touched her breasts. She closed her eyes joying his touch.
“I know, but it’s me being silly and a little love-struck.”
“A little?” She asked and watched him undress.
“A lot actually,” he admitted it. Only in his boxers, they came closer. “Once I had that dream of you the night before David and Ashley’s wedding, I wanted to wait for you.” She took his hand and led him over to the bed, then the doubts. “Maybe we should step back and think about this.”
She shushed him. “No turning back, remember? Everything will be worked out; you’ll see.”
“Wait, we should take precautions; you know?”
“I’m on the pill,” she replied and pulled his hand.
Relieved, he truly did trust her, but the doubts came back. Getting close to another person terrified him because of his dreams, and now he couldn’t resist her, not anymore. He wanted and needed her in his life.
Smiling, she reached up to pull him closer. “Do you like this?” Her lips moved lower to kiss his throat. “You smell so good.” He closed his eyes, pulled her up and kissed her deeply. Angie knew she was in heaven. Her mind flashed back to their kisses at his place. “Oh Bill,” she managed to say between kisses. “You may not know this, but you Sir, are an amazing kisser.”
He smiled. “How about this?” Bill closed his eyes and smiled against her throat and immediately began thanking her for believing in him and trusting him. Soon they were naked on the huge bed touching hip to thigh, the feeling indescribable. The feeling in the room swirled around their heads while the only sound was their ragged breathing.
She pushed him away just a little. “We can slow things down just a little,” Angie whispered and touched his lips. “I remember when I first saw you and not in a dream.”
“Do you really want to talk right now?” He asked with a slight grin.
“Well, just let me say this.” He nodded. “I saw you not far from my apartment and you were in the street talking to a patrol officer. It stunned my mind and my heart; I couldn’t believe that I’d found you. I’m so happy.”
“I feel the same way about you, so let’s get to it.” He smiled and kissed her repeatedly, thrilling her and turning her on.
She certainly isn’t nervous anymore, he thought. Angie moaned as he kissed his way down her throat to her breasts, applying his tongue to her aching nipples. She moaned again, louder this time arching her back, stroking his hair, loving his mouth and hands on her breasts. She licked her dry lips. “Oh, that feels so good.”
A man on a mission, his kisses moved down her chest to her navel then he went lower. He kissed her long shapely legs and smooth thighs. He stroked her between her legs, and she was ready for him.
“Oh, Bill, please,” she purred begging for it. Angie opened her legs wider for him to pleasure her and he did. He went even further and kissed the dark curls moist with desire for him. He breathed in her unique scent loving her sighs and her hands stroking her with his desire for him.
Angie trembled and moaned as she cried out repeatedly as he used not only his lips and tongue, but his nose and chin as well to make love to her as the tension coiled tight and hot in her belly, and she could feel herself coming. Bill pulled away, and Angie whimpered.
“I want to feel you come around me,” he said with a sexy smile and rubbed the head of his erection against her swollen lips exciting them both. He closed his eyes as he felt her tight sheath close around him. He felt as if they could do anything, and they would be alright; he prayed it was true. He then took her mouth in a hot wet kiss, as he gathered her tightly against his chest. He began that ancient rhythm and Angie matched that rhythm stroke for stroke.
Panting and moaning, Angie cried out, then her arms and legs circled his body, pulled his head down and kissed him long and deep as he drove into her again and again. Shaking and moaning having never felt anything so wonderful. Then her stunning climax caused him to come as mind-numbing pleasure shot through to his soul moments later.
He slowly pulled out of her warm body, kissed her temple and stroked her hair, then pulled her close to his chest sighing into her hair. Angie was beyond thought.
“Wow!” Angie was in shock. She truly hit the jackpot with Bill.
He chuckled and pulled her closer. His senses were filled with her. To think he had given up on them, but Angie wouldn’t let him go. He had to say it or he would burst, but was she ready to hear it?
“Angie, are you awake?”
“Uh huh,” she replied quietly, still in a bit of a daze.
He was quiet, too quiet. Angie leaned up on her elbow. “What is it?”
She looked worried. He stroked her hair behind her ear. “Nothing is wrong,” he whispered. He leaned into her and kissed her softly.
A little while later, after making love again, they both fell asleep.
Now, almost dawn, still at the hotel, Bill, without waking her jumped in the shower, trying to bring up enough courage to tell her how much he loved her. After last night, there was nothing standing in their way.
“Hey, you!” It’s Angie. Naked, she stepped into the shower startling him.
“Angie?” He chuckled and pulled her under the spray. She squealed and jumped into him. He caught her easily and then he kissed her slanting his lips across hers. She felt so good to him. He was immediately in that mode ready for her.
Still kissing her, he pushed her up against the shower wall and then he was inside her. “You feel so good; I can’t get enough of you and I don’t want to.”
“Kiss me, just kiss me,” she whispered dying for it.
“As you wish,” he whispered back and kissed her passionately. She immediately responded to him. Then he began to move, and he didn’t need to worry about losing her in a dream or anything, because they would be together no matter what.
“Oh, Bill, I… I,” she began wanting to say it so badly.
He stopped his movements. She whimpered, not ready for him to stop. He waited for her to speak.
He touched her cheek. “I love you, Bill,” she finally said it.
Eyes shining, he whispered back, “I love you too.” He then kissed her deeply, slanting his mouth against hers, his tongue swirling and then he began to move slowly at first exciting them both.
“Oh yes, that’s it,” Angie whispered against his throat, kissing him repeatedly.
Soon, though, their feelings rushed to the surface and then it happened. They came at the same time, moaning and shaking for minutes on end.
He slowly pulled out of her and then they showered and left the bathroom. Drying each other off, they kissed and caressed, not being able to get close enough. Back in bed, they cuddled close, thinking about their future together, well Bill was thinking about it.
“Hungry?” Angie asked, knowing his insatiable appetite.
“Hungry for you,” he answered and then he kissed her again.
“Um, you are the insatiable one, no question about that.”
He pulled away, suddenly serious. “It’s just,” he couldn’t finish.
“You waited a long time for me; didn’t you?” It’s a statement.
“It was so worth the wait, Angie. You are the only one for me and,” he started.
She smiled. “And you’re the only one for me too.”
“I love you so much,” he said becoming emotional.
“Oh, Bill, I love you too, very much.” She paused and thought about their past. “I was such a fool.”
“No, no, Angie, don’t say that. I knew you weren’t ready for any of this, and I knew you were worried that maybe you were wrong about us, and that’s mostly my fault.”
She shook her head. “I knew you wanted me, but I just wasn’t sure.” He bowed his head. “You were willing to wait for me, even if that meant you were miserable.” Her eyes watered.
He shrugged, but didn’t say anything.
“Come here.” She pulled him close, his head under her chin. They both sighed both blissfully happy to be together; truly together.
A few hours later, getting ready to leave, Angie turned on the early morning news, and there it was. They both listened as the details of the sting operation was making rounds.
“He said that Barry ‘Jimbo’ Burke died from his wounds last night?” Angie asked.
“Yeah, I’m not surprised, he was hurt badly when the ambulance arrived,” Bill replied staring at the television. The announcer then went on the speak of Jimbo’s connections to the mob. Bill picked up the remote and turned it off.
“I know what you’re trying to do; shield me from the truth. Do you think these mob bosses will come for you or me?” Angie asked terrified.
She needed to know. “Yes, it may happen, but I won’t let anyone hurt you or your family.”
She went into his arms, holding him close. No words were spoken as they digested that possibility. They left the hotel, both determined to protect each other, no matter what.