The History of Floppytown
“Over two hundred years ago, a man, whose name was Robert Good, founded Floppytown. The legend goes that when Robert was young, he had been a member of the Peanut Men gang. They robbed trains and nearby villages. But one day, Robert met beautiful Helen, the daughter of the mayor of the nearest town. They fell in love, but Helen’s parents didn’t want to give their daughter to marriage to a criminal. “I will become a mayor! And I will marry Helen soever!” Robert declared. As the Peanut Men’s boss, he ordered his men to stop robbing and find an honest way to earn money. After long and hard thinking, they decided to open a peanut factory because they all loved toasted peanuts. The toasting of peanuts was the best non-criminal thing they could do. So they built the factory and started to sell toasted peanuts all around the country. Robert met the governor and delivered the request, signed by all his gang, to register the Wolf’s Hole village around the peanut factory as a town of Kindvill. The governor knew that Robert was the infamous Peanut Men’s honcho, but he had no evidence of Robert’s criminal activity. Anyway, the fact that the Peanut Men abandoned their maleficent ways of living and stepped on the right rails contented him, and soon Robert returned to his people as the Mayor of Kindvill. Yes, Floppytown was founded as Kindvill first.
Now, as Robert had become the mayor, there was no reason for Helen’s parents to resist unwanted marriage.
I must explain that the Peanut Men didn’t use conventional names as we do. They used dog names and knew each other only by those nicknames. And also, their wives named their children by dog names right after the kids were born.
Helen seemed overly sophisticated to her husband's subordinates. They didn’t like her, but for Robert’s sake, they accepted her and called her Somewhat when Robert couldn’t hear them.
As time went by, Robert and Helen worked hard for the good of Kindvill and its people. They opened all those places that make a town a town: a hospital, schools, post office, and our library. Yes, they founded our library, children, and also the church, where the priests served masses, married young couples, and baptized their children.
But only newcomers, who represented the minority of Kindvill, wanted to frequent those places. The Peanut Men and the factory workers tacitly denied the new order.
One day, there was the fiftieth factory opening anniversary, and Kindvill celebrated it with a fest on the municipal square in front of the town hall. All kinds of entertainment people, invited by Mayor Good, came to Kindvill—musicians, circus actors, and even equilibrists walking on the ropes! People drank beer, sang songs, and danced, but then the quarrel began, and as Robert and Helen happily looked out of the town hall window at the celebrating people, the Kindvillers started to fight. And that fight had become so large that nobody could get out unharmed.
Robert screamed, hoping to end the scramble—Stop fighting, please, go home, people, you are drunk! You’ll feel sorry tomorrow! But nobody wanted to obey Robert. They replied brusquely. If we translate it into human language, it sounds like this—Go to sleep with yourself, sleeping Goodie!—that was his Peanut Men gang nickname—together with your stupid Somewhat, sleeping ugly wife! We are sleeping sick and tired of your sleeping manners! And so on.
I must remind you that Mayor Good and his wife, Mrs. Helen, were both in years by that time. After all the good they had done for the well-being of Kindvill and its people, those words offended them very much. They expected to be at least esteemed, if not loved, by the Kindvillers. But at that moment, Mayor Good felt very disrespected in return. He also was upset by public insults to his adored wife. That evening he made a hard decision,” Adeline, the assistant librarian, paused and smiled, looking at the spellbound by her story primary school first graders.
“What decision?” children impatiently urged her on with the continuation.
“Well, a couple of years before that day, Helen adopted a puppy of an unknown breed. That puppy was a brat, unable to be trained. There was nothing that could convince him to be an educated young dog. He had floppy ears, so he was given the name Floppy. The morning after the fight, Mayor Good ordered Floppy to take the position of mayor and renamed Kindvill Floppytown. That is how our town got its current name.
Many people got hurt in that fight. Several journalists, who came to cover the celebration, witnessed the clash. Naturally, they informed their newspapers about what had happened that day.
The reporter from the Official Journal interviewed Mayor Good. And here we have that Official Journal issue with Mayor Good’s interview. The article is titled Kindvill Wild Fight.
It says," Adeline started reading the article, "Kindvill Peanut Factory's fiftieth-anniversary celebration had ended with the wildest town fight we have ever seen. The mayor had to resign, leaving his position to a dog named Floppy, who generously donated his name to the town. From now on, Kindvill is Floppytown. This decision met no objections from the citizens’ side. Official Journal encountered ex-Kindvill Mayor Good right after the transfer of Pawers:
Official Journal—Mayor Good, what can you tell us about the last night's wild fight?
Mayor Good—I’m ashamed! I feel abashed talking about this fight! I am a big failure. Everything failed!
Official Journal—We heard you appointed your dog to your position. Is it true?
Mayor Good—Yes, I did. Those people deserve a mayor like Floppy. He is a cute pup, and I’m sure he will be a great mayor for everybody in this town.
Official Journal—They say that you are going to escape.
Mayor Good—Yes, I want to escape from Kindvill, this country, and from the face of Earth! That is how ashamed I am.
Next, we entered the new Mayor Floppy’s office. He was overwhelmingly happy to see us, and frankly, never had an Official Journal representative have a reception in a Mayor’s office of such joy and happiness. Unfortunately, Mayor Floppy was extremely busy exploring his new office, papers, and documents. He didn’t find time to share his point of view with us. And it is understandable because his appointment at the office happened unexpectedly for him."
Adeline looked at the puzzled first graders who listened to her reading with open mouths and smiled, "Official Journal then talked with people on the streets about such an unpredictable turn of events, and here are the most popular next morning Floppytown citizens’ opinions:
—The fight was disgusting, but what would you expect from people like them? Those factory workers are all nuts. Mayor Good and his wife tried to make decent people out of them, though it is not easy to make a hero out of zero, especially when zeros don’t care to become heroes. Mayor Good always had a reputation as a henpecked man among the Peanut Factory workers. But all they wanted, Mayor Good and his wife, was to build healthy living conditions for those loggerheads.
Official Journal—What do you think about the newly appointed Mayor Floppy?
Unknown Citizen—Are you serious?! That is just Mayor Good's prank, I think.
Official Journal—It is a fact. Do you know that your town is now called Floppytown?
Unknown Citizen—Really? Hell. Floppy is a cute pup, and we all love him, despite the certainty that he is a complete idiot. But as a mayor, he is going to be a disaster."
Adeline finished reading the article and explained to her little listeners the factual state of politics in Floppytown, “Well, the regional government of that time didn’t want to deal with Floppy either and called for the emergency mayoral elections. But nobody wanted to stand up for the position, and they appointed Mayor Rugh. Since then, Floppytown has had no mayoral elections. We have got only mayors appointed by the regional government. Our Mayor Godfrid and the regional council find that Floppytown must finally adhere to democracy. What do you think, children? Is democracy good for us?”
“Floppy! Floppy! We want Mayor Floppy back!” was the kids' reaction.