It has been two days, I’ve done nothing but train, I couldn’t contact Bree. She blocked me on facebook, her number isn’t working anymore. I am so tempted to book a flight to Europe- I don't care where, but I couldn’t leave my father here. I have to fulfill my promise since I have disgraced my father in a lot of ways, I have to become alpha. And maybe,
Maybe she would come back, once I become a better person. I looked at the mirror of my bathroom, I have dark circles under my eyes, I already shaved my stubble this morning.
I can still remember her laugh, her beautiful laugh… her funny antics in the kitchen. It saddens me more that I didn’t even take notice of her until it was too late, I didn’t even get to know her that well.
I didn’t know what her favorite color was, her favorite food… her hobbies, her likes and dislikes.
Ever since I woke up in the hospital I couldn’t feel my wolf, I would hear his howl every now and then from grieving of rejection. He wouldn’t talk to me, I could feel myself beginning to feel weak.
But i have to be strong, I need to be.
I couldn’t hide it anymore, tears started to fall from my eyes. I am so dumb!
I hate myself! I disgraced my father, I didn’t wait for my mate, I let a pack member be bullied, I didn’t do anything! I don’t deserve any shit! I don’t even deserve to live!
I felt my knees becoming weak, I knelt and broke down in tears. I’m grieving for the loss of my mate and her accepting the rejection, I am grieving for my mother who’s looking down at me with distaste and disappointment in her face, I am crying because of my lack of responsibility, I am crying because of how selfish I am!
My wolf, Kevin began to speak. ‘I hate you.’ he said.
'But even though I hate you, it is not entirely your fault. it’s the bitch macy’s fault ‘cause she put a spell on you. Partly, it was your fault. If you hadn’t give in easily to her and waited for your mate we wouldn’t be experiencing this much pain right now.’ He said.
I need you, Kevin. We need to be better, she might come back.
‘I’m scared, Kade.’
‘She might meet her second chance mate out there and she’s not going to give a fuck about us anymore.’
He was right.