Chapter 30: Talking
“Please don’t fight me on this Thomas.” I begged, my hands bleeding and throbbing from the immense heat and the strength it took to keep the knife on my heart. “Please just press this knife into my chest and kill me. It will be better for everyone if I just die.”
Thomas’s shocked eyes softened in understanding, “You really don’t want to be a vampire, do you?” he sighed, “Fine, I’ll kill you.” He stared into my eyes as if searching for something. “It was good to meet you, Ash.”
“I’m glad I met you too. Now please.” Everything would soon be over. I wouldn’t have to kill any one again and no one will have to see what I’d become. Thomas increased pressure on the knife and I felt it break the skin over my heart. Death was coming for me.
And then the pressure, the burning hot knife and Thomas vanished into thin air.
For a moment of absolute shock I just stood there with my hands on the rapidly healing wound before I looked around to see Alexander holding Thomas by the throat against one of the far trees. A surge of heat rocketed through my body at the sight of his snarling form and I found myself rooted to the spot even though I knew he was killing Thomas because of me.
Thomas desperately clawed at Alexander’s hand around his neck, “How dare you try to kill her.” Alexander hissed out. “She’s mine.”
“So…” Thomas gasped out, “You’re the… jerk… who turned… her.”
Alexander’s grip loosened and he threw Thomas to the ground. “What do you know about our circumstances human?”
Thomas sucked in the life giving air and his eyes met mine. “Everything, she told me everything.”
Alexander spared me a cold glance and then gripped Thomas’s scull in one hand, “I’ll kill you, I’ll crush your scull, human.”
Thomas laughed harshly. “Do it, she’ll hate you even more.”
All emotion suddenly faded from Alexander’s eyes at that and he let Thomas drop to the ground once more. “Run, leave and if I ever see you again, I will kill you.” He said threateningly.
Thomas boldly stood up and brushed off his clothes, then he looked at Alexander challengingly, “You will leave her alone from now on or I will hunt you down and kill you.”
Alexander laughed humourlessly, “Give it your best shot human because I’m never leaving her side again.” His eyes darkened and he looked at me, “Not after what I just saw.” He started walking towards me, his usual bright green eyes looking dull grey. “Why would you do that to yourself?”
I still couldn’t move a muscle and could only stare at him as he came closer, “I-I don’t want to be a vampire Alexander.” I was close to tears again and I wondered if my unstable emotions had something to do with being a vampire.
With a battle cry Thomas suddenly launched himself at Alexander with his red hot knife out in front of him. Alexander slowly turned around with an unimpressed expression and the knife slammed into his chest. He didn’t even blink. “Strike one.” He said to Thomas who looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head. The knife hadn’t hurt Alexander at all. “I’ve been in the hottest fires of hell, do you really think that puny knife can harm me?”
Thomas stumbled backwards and his voice wavered a little, “You’re a royal, aren’t you?”
Alexander smirked, “So that’s why you were so brave with your little toy, she didn’t tell you who I was. Also meaning you don’t know who she really is, she is my Promise angel. I will kill anyone who ever tries to harm her, even if it’s only a human.” He stalked towards shaking Thomas and I finally found my voice.
“Leave him alone Alexander.” I said and both men turned their heads to look at me. “Leave,” I told Thomas, “Don’t worry about me just… just leave.”
I gave him a weak smile, “I was planning on going back eventually anyway. You don’t have to get yourself killed for me.” I gave him a reassuring nod.
Thomas stood up and slung his backpack onto his shoulder with one last look in my direction he started walking away,, “Goodbye Ash.”
Alexander’s eyes were spewing fire and he growled after Thomas. I could almost see the fury radiating off of him in waves. When Thomas was out of sight our eyes locked and after a few seconds I turned and started walking home without saying anything.
Alexander followed, but instead of catching on to the fact that I really didn’t want to talk he asked, “Are you never going to speak to me again?”
I didn’t say anything for a moment, “You came looking for me.” My voice didn’t even break at all the emotions that were cursing through me because I was a vampire. It was cruel.
“Of course I did.” He said like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Do you… want to talk?”
I continued to walk without even looking in his direction. I couldn’t talk to him right now… I just… couldn’t.
He turned me into a vampire.
“Ashira…” Alexander said softly, following behind me. With my new hearing I could hear his steps falter a little before they gained weight again and he suddenly grabbed me by both my shoulders and spun me around, “Ashira!”
I ignored the fire that spread throughout my body where he was touching me and looked away from his face. Surely I would lose my hatred for him the moment I looked into those eyes, that was the curse of being his Promise angel.
I still loved him even through all of the hatred I had for him at the moment.
I could never hate the man I really did love with all my heart…
His grip on my shoulders tightened and he gave me a little shake, “Look at me! Look at me dammit!”
I wanted to look at him, I really did, but that would mean that my human side had completely given up and my vampire side wanted to please her creator. I wasn’t going to accept this fate so easily.
Feeling like my body was about to burn out if he didn’t stop touching me I jumped out of his grasp and hissed at him. “Don’t touch me, demon!”
Unlike the previous times Alexander didn’t flinch back but ended up charging right at me and in a moment of shock I lashed out at him with my nails, no, my claws.
He dodged me as easy as breathing and took hold of my wrist, spinning me around and pinning my arm behind me in a rather painful manner. “Let go of me!” I growled and clawed at him with my free hand that just couldn’t reach him at the angle he was holding me. I hissed again, “Let go of me!”
“Ashira,” he whispered in a tone he’d never before used on me, the voice that held power over the part of me that was a vampire, the voice of my creator, “Calm down.” He simply stated in his commanding voice and an unnatural calm overcame me.
My body relaxed in his arms and he let go of me. I slowly turned to face him, still refusing to look at him. He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t order me to look at him… no…
“Ashira,” he said authoritatively, “Look at me.”
It felt like my heart was being torn to pieces. No. How could he do this to me? He was ordering me like I was nothing more than some slave. Unwillingly my head turned to look at him and by the time my eyes met his bloody tears were covering my vision. I could barely see him through all the red.
His eyes widened in realisation, “Ashira… I’m so sorry I wasn’t-“
His hand that had comfortingly went to my shoulder again was slapped off. “Just because I’m forced to look at you doesn’t mean you can touch me.” I hissed at him under my breath.
I snarled and screamed at him, “If you say my name one more time, I swear I will rip your throat out!” I took a breath to calm myself but it got caught in my throat.
Oh dear goodness no. That scent. I turned to look at Alexander, my eyes probably bright yellow. I licked my lips.
It was him.
He was the one who smelled even more divine than Rustin had.
I refuse to let this take control of me. I dug my nails into my palms and the slight pain a bit of my vampire side subsided, but I still wanted to kill him. No… not kill just… devour…
I wanted his blood.
I’ve never wanted anything this much before. Why? Why?
“The only thing that will quench your thirst now that you’ve finally smelled me is my blood.” Alexander said calmly like he’d read y thoughts and he bared his neck for me “So come and take it because the only thing that will ever satisfy your hunger again is the blood of the one you love.”
I swallowed hard “But I don’t love you.” Lie “I don’t want your blood.” Lie “I don’t need it.”
I turned and continued walking without waiting for his reply. The palms of my hands were itching like crazy and I was shaking slightly. The blood of the one I love? How cruel.
“Does that include you too?” I asked him when he fell into pace with me.
“Am I the only one whose blood you want?”
I couldn’t even look at him anymore. I hated this, I hated being a vampire, I hated myself for what I’d done but I could never hate him. I could never hate my demon. No matter how hard I tried I would always love him.
“Have you slept yet?” Alexander asked me carefully, “Since… since I turned you?”
I shook my head, “What’s the point? It’s not like I need it anymore.” My voice was so emotionless I barely recognised it.
“Well, you don’t need it, per say, but sleeping helps keep our hunger in check. You can go longer without blood if you sleep daily.”
“I’ll sleep tonight then.” I said and we continued to slowly walk in silence.
So vampires did sleep, how… interesting…
Falling asleep as a vampire however was a lot harder than it had been as a human because for starters I wasn’t tired in the slightest. Not to mention after a long day of slowly walking behind Alexander in silence, we still hadn’t reached home, I had to fall asleep on the hard ground. We’d just kept on walking slowly even though we could have reached home a lot faster if we ran. I didn’t know why and I didn’t care why we hadn’t.
I sighed, frustrated with trying to fall asleep when it was so clearly impossible and I rolled over onto my side. After a few more moments I sat up and turned my head in the direction Alexander was.
Our eyes met and my body froze in place.
I cursed him and laid down again, not moving this time and pretending to be asleep. Maybe he would stop looking at me like that when he thought I was asleep.
I had a strange suspicion that his eyes never once left me through the night and I faked slept right through it.
When the sun finally peeked over the horizon I was unbelievably glad because boredom had kicked in about five hours ago and I was starting to slowly lose my mind. I sat up quickly and Alexander followed right behind me and I knew that he’d definitely been watching me the whole time. What a creepy stalker, I had to force myself not to smile at the thought.
“Let’s go home.” Alexander said, “Then we can talk.”
In the five hours of boredom I’d come up with a plan and he was ruining it with every word he spoke, “I’m not going back Alexander.” I said softly. “I don’t want to go with you.” Who would have ever thought I was this capable of lying?
He was standing in front of me in an instant, “No.” his hands flexed at his sides. “You have to come with me, we have to talk.”
I took a step backwards, “I’m not going with you.” I told him firmly, “I want to live my own life, away from you.”
Pain filled his eyes and it took all my self-control not to throw myself into his arms and go with him.
“Please Ashira, just come with me. We can figure this out together.” He begged, “Please, I can’t- I just can’t live without you.” His dark eyes met mine and he spoke like he was merely stating a fact. “And you can’t live without me.”
I growled at him, “I will not let this form rule my life, Alexander! I will not be your little lapdog, waiting on a command from my master! I will not let what you turned me into ruin my life! I don’t need you.” Again with the lies. “Just leave me alone.” I spun away from him and jogged the other way and after a few seconds I was flying across the earth as fast as I could go. The nerve of that man! It didn’t even matter that every word he’d said had been the truth. I didn’t-
Alexander was running next to me, no, jogging more like it with an adorable little smile on his face, “I won’t let you go this easily, love.”
I scowled at him and tried to trip him in the run, “I said leave me alone!”
His smile disappeared, “How can I when I just saw you try to kill yourself yesterday?” a sad look crossed his face. “Please don’t ever, ever do anything like that again.” There was a moment of silence in which I ignored him, “What do you want me to say, Ashira? That I’m sorry for turning you? I won’t say that because I hate lying to you and I’m not sorry I turned you.” He took a deep breath, “You were just so ill, you were dying Ashira! Dying! You would never have opened your eyes again! You would have just been gone! I turned you because I couldn’t stand seeing the only person I’ve ever loved fade away right in front of me and leave me when I could have done something about it! Even now…” he said sadly, “I don’t care that you ha-” he sounded like he couldn’t even get the word out. “That you hate me. I’m just glad I could have given you a second chance at life. It’s my fault that you were ill in the first place.”
“A second chance at life?” I asked disbelievingly and laughed, “I’m dead Alexander! My heart stopped beating the moment you turned me. If anything, you’re the one who killed me.”
He reached out towards me comfortingly, “Ashira, being a vampire isn’t that bad, you just-“
“You shouldn’t have turned me!” I said, “You knew that I didn’t want to be a vampire, didn’t you?”
He hung his head, “Of course I knew, but I wasn’t going to lose you, I wasn’t going to let you die.”
“I would have been better off dead.” I said softly and we stared at one another for what felt like an eternity. I was feeling so riled up, like I could take down a tank without flinching, but emotionally I was absolutely exhausted.
“But what you did, it wasn’t your fault. You-“
“I killed him Alexander!” I screamed at him in rage before sadness overcame me. “I killed him…” I was shaking again and I crouched down and hugged my knees, “I killed him… I killed Rustin like it was nothing. I didn’t even care when I ripped out his throat because I just wanted to drink his blood.” I clawed at my chest. “It was this unbearable burning that just took over, like watching a movie, my conscious mind had no control over my body… I just wanted to see his blood flow.” I looked at Alexander desperately, “How sick is that?”
Alexander kneeled down next to me and reached out to touch me again but I snarled at him and he pulled away with a sigh, “It’s normal.”
“Oh yes, I’m sure killing people is very normal.” I shot back sarcastically.
“It’s normal for a vampire to-“
With a battle cry and a leap I jumped at him with my fangs out. “I never would have been in that position if you hadn’t turned me!”
He easily dodged me, his speed and strength still far greater than my own but this only seemed to anger me even more, “I trusted you!” I screamed at him when I swung a fist for his face.
He dodged it.
“I thought you knew how I felt about being a vampire!” I ran around him and tried to kick his feet out from under him.
He jumped over my legs.
“I know you knew!” By now I was crying again like some pathetic girl and the punches I threw at him carried little to no weight as they landed on his chest.
He let me exert myself for a moment before he caringly tried to put a hand on my shoulder and said “My love-“
My anger flared and my eyes flashed, “Don’t call me that!” I lashed out at him with my claws and he must not have been expecting it because he stumbled backwards and barely missed me ripping is face off.
Blood dripped to the ground from the cuts on his jaw and my mouth watered. No! I wasn’t going to let this control me. I threw another punch at him just as the cuts closed, “Stop looking at me like that dammit! Fight back, you coward!”
Alexander’s expression didn’t change, he just looked at me pityingly with eyes filled with guilt, “I’m sorry, Ashira.” He moved so fast I barely even saw him before I fell to the ground with and ‘oof’ sound.
I braced my hands on the ground and growled when I got up, immediately going for his family jewels. My kick missed by inches. “How could you turn me Alexander?!?” I screamed at him again.
But he couldn’t answer because I swear I was getting faster and he actually had to concentrate to avoid getting hit now “How could you?” I screamed again through my tears, “I loved you!”
And just like that the world stopped as his eyes turned serious and he easily caught my fist with one hand before I could shatter his face. “How could you?” I softly asked. “I thought you loved me to.”