Untitled chapter
Helios and the Stars
Single, individual, yet many in their complexities that brought upon the sky its wonder. Plenty, complex, yet themself in their beauty and nature of the soul of man. So were the stars upon the sky, and so watched Helios upon the beach. A great lot of nature’s boundless wonders had unfolded before him, he had indeed himself played a big part in creating many of them. He saw the large standing mounting as the relentless forces of wind shot themself upon it with no avail to push them aside, he saw the longest niles and their potent powers of fertility, he saw upon the earth the greatest of the old trees with the youngest of the thire virgin fruits and felt in their taste, not one sip of the flavors his eyes devoured every night looking upon the sky. For amidst the endless void of the long dead and yet born, was the infinity light of the stars. For they are the one thing that too is referred to as another in the hope of pressing them would be to insult them, for sin be it ever to refer to the stars as anything else than the stars, yet the young hearth of Helios broke out in sweet blasphemy every night attempting to describe his the one love for the stars. Some had said that day was the brother and night the sister and that they were playing catch with each other, each of them trying to catch the other, running in circles all day and night in an endless run none of them intended to lose and therefore none of them would ever win… this was a lie. There was no brother day as there was no sister night, only where Helios was and wasn’t, is and is not, went and left, Helios is everything. He met every cold land on his way with a smile and brightened up the night with his golden hair, and he brings to all of the countries he visited warmth and safety. He melted the ice, he germinated the flowers, he blinded the predators, he gave the night the day, and the night ran away.
Yet the interest of Helios was never on the beauties he brought about with his light, no for neither animal nor nature could ever satisfy his sensitive heart to tear. His eye was turned only against the naked sky, which was surrounded by the pearly crystals dress of the stars. “It is not naked then” whispered the ocean to the young Helios “For if it bares the stars as a dress then I can’t be naked”. Helios looked brightly at the somber ocean knowing it to be jealous for not having any dress of its own and spoke “ The sky is as naked on the stars as a glove is on a hand, for it is not the sky that wears the stars but the stars that wear the sky, it is but the mantra that displays the true beauty. Yet the stars need the sky for if the sky wasn’t there then nor would the ability to display the stars be, I admire the sky a great, as I admire you the boundless ocean, yet my fullest and true love is only for my pearly stars. I call it the pearly sky and I call you the pearly ocean, with the pearls always in the center, with the pearls always in front. ”. It was then that Helios would gaze down into the great ocean with its countless treasure and seafloor wonder and know that one could lose oneself fully in the ocean in more than one way, and he would understand the reason behind certain barts, yes, the choice of a certain star to make lovers make love to the worlds of an ocean, and he would know that not the most brilliant and interesting aspect of the ocean could compare to even a cloudy sky with barely visible stars, never could anything be above the stars. The Ocean looked then at the bright young man and his beautiful long golden hair that behaved as was it the flashes of light and the fire one a candle, and she knew then that there was no winning a lost soul, a soul that was already lost to love. The ocean had been loved relentlessly for all time, and would be for the rest of it, but how often is it not that we forgot all about our accomplishments when remembering our shortcomings, the ocean was no different. She spoke then in a sober and low voice “If all you ever see in me is but the reflection of someone else, then you don’t deserve to look at me at all”, The ocean was quite faint then and was as so many others there without being there, leaving Helios alone on the beach. It was in these seconds, when Helios was presented with a clear sky, movements before his light would arrive that he could truly see the sky, it was obvious to him then, that the sky wasn’t a glove but an arm, and to lose it would be the same as to kill the stars who would surely bleed out without it. Those brilliant eyes who however always be the focus of his wonderful gaze, but he could not help but be delighted by his now newfound understanding of the pearly sky. What was that he thought, To love something full, yet continue to find a new aspect of wonder in them this is known, was the sole reason for love, to know something yet continuous to discover, to have seen something and yet always see something new, to love something for a reason you are yet to know, this was the stars, and this was helios on the beach, watching his pearly stars. There was not much time left now, his conversation with the ocean and excitement of discovery had both done much to drain the little time he had, sweet full blasphemy, that was love, and in failing a breath of morning air he spoke:
When all the whispered words have gone away,
And morning sings a song of sorrows fate:
When all the solemn words will bring dismay,
And morning turns the night so very late.
If all the spoken words were not for use,
And every single truth becomes a lie,
If all the merry reasons would confuse,
And all the fate of man be left to cry.
Then let me rest my tired day on you:
And let me hold your hands so very tight:
Then let me be a part of but a few:
And let me give to you an endless light:
May all the pearly stars who I can see,
May all the pearly stars love true to me.
So spoke Helios on the beach, but not a word was returned, for behind the endless streams of light and beauty admitted from the infinite number of stars on the unperceivable large sky was not one single star willing to answer with but one word, silent was the stars and silently watch Helios on the beach. Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, entreat his eyes and shines towards the sky with all the joy and hope that a child expecting praise would have, yet for all his trouble of expression, where his words had bled into existence and woven themself with tear down upon the bloody pale paper, he was an unsuccessful writer never to be praised for his beauty, always to be remained of his shame, by those who saw him, and by those who didn’t. The stars did not remind much longer, Helios was fast, but not even he could outrun his light forever, and the burning bright beacon of nights end arrived, and its brilliant rays as the goldens stands upon the hair of Helios overshadowed the stars and excellent they’re light far from the reach of the eye of Helios. There were no stars now helios knew, and for as long as he would remain, there wouldn’t be. Yet another night of crying, yet another day of stealing, as the day had stolen the night. Why was it, he thought, why was it that every time he would speak, they would not listen, every time he would try, they would fail him. There was no enchanted soul or being that could ever convince him that his love lied elsewhere than the stars, for the very fabric of his being and nature was as drawn to their light. In the old days, when he was young, there had been no light, there had been no nature, there had been no Helios. All light of the day to helios looked like the dark of the night, yet the night was yet discovered to him. Walking in an endless circle, driving by his nature, his nature to walk around the earth, but by whose device and by what reason, step and step and step again did not benign him any closer to any answers, each faint darkness was erased in front of him by light as the light was erased behind him by darkness as darkness was erased once again and again, there was no progress, there was no lighting it all up at the same time there was no complete day as there was not complete night, only where Helios was and was not. Back then he knew himself only as Sisyphus, pushing the endless boulder of the sun towards the faint darkness, but always, in the end, failing to light up all the earth and ending up in the same place he started. It was then, on one summer day, that Helioswould for the first time outrun his sun. He hurt. Every part of him hurt. The endless walking had torn his body apart and Helios hurt. His head, his stomach, his heart, his feet burned him up alive and there was no cosmos in helios, he wanted to run away from it all, and he did, ran towards the night. There was no fear in him quit then as he dared his dearest hearth in outrunning every perpetual sun and the ever-present endless advance of its fulfillment of chasing him as he slowly found that the ever-present sun failed in its hope of picking phase and soon left Helios in a world that was so different from his own that neither day nor light nor right nor wrong could hope to describe the dark scenery that he journeyed through as the strong light grew fainted and allowed the multi-directional landscape to open itself up in amazed and fulfillment in an every hashing dash of Healiso that made him run faster and faster and faster aging until his final moment of recognition when he looked upon the sky and saw! the stars. No culture shock was as great as that of leaving the blue sky of the day and meeting the pearly sky of the night, that anything even exists, the simple possibility of light others than his own was to him so foreign a possibility that never once did he ever dared to consider it possible. That was a long time ago, yet he still remembers the first words he spoke to the stars; why do you decrease me with your beauty, and why are you up in the sky and stand with me on the ground?as There was nothing poetic in his statement, it was but the most simple feeling of wonder, and the most simple feeling of desire; why. Yet as simple as the hearth or as complex as the brain, a lover often hears his own words not repeated and is left standing alone in the rain. Why Helios wondered, why were his words never repeated? Were they not good enough? Was the hearth missing?Or was it the form? Or was it the rhythm? or was every sonnet he ever wrote wasted upon hearing who would not listen? how to make them listen? How to make them see that I am standing right here? His legs were tired from his running, and it could take home days to regain his power, so Helios was once more confined to the walking speed, one, step, at, a, time. This continent has yielded its use Helios thought, having walked through all four of the lands’ time zones had satisfied his natural eyes, and being unable to watch the sats on this continent all reason to stay had vanished, and so decided Helios he would too. The Atlantic ocean out folded itself in front of Helios and he stood and watched fears waves nubulocktic sea. He knew it very well that if the ocean were to catch him it would never let him go. The ocean was greedy, she would have it best to keep all of the treasure of the world to herself. She had started as a small leak on the old earth, making mud of the sand and ground, but had over time overtaken the entire globe, making it blue. It is the nature of all beings to take, as it is our nature to lose, the ocean took the world and then lost it. The volcanoes came and overtook the blue waves, threatening to steal all of the earth for themselves, the ocean wouldn’t have that. War of the elements began leaving the Ocean to lose some but retain most. The volcanoes would never again try to overtake the vast ocean, and the ocean would keep to her part of the world, but Helios’s body was warm that his nerves had become over-sensitive to the cold, and he could feel the cold war waging between the two. The pressure and frustrating building at the center of the volcanos, and the ever-strengthening ties of the waves of the ocean, building confidence, so where both of them. Helios feared a confrontation between the two, for how very easy would it not be to destroy the earth all everything upon, and if the earth were to be destroyed, then how could he watch his stars? If all the volcanoes erupted and created a smoke layer around the world then how could he watch his stars? If the ocean created an endless cloud of water then no light of the stars could ever get through, and what would he do then? Alone, left, forgotten, not to see or to be seen at all by any, what then? “Is that too different from how it is now? ″ whispered the ocean as Helios stood in front off it at the tip cliff. “Isn’t that what you are already doing, all alone on your little beach… if I catch you, then I’ll keep you”. The ocean always made such treats. The Ocean, the volcans, they are all the same, they all desire to gain, yet none of them will ever give, why will no one give?. He stood quite still then, facing the great ocean and peering down into the abyss that threatened to take and keep any man who sank into it. He took a long breath… and bending his leg gently he said “Possibility… possibility is the difference”, and he jumped. Helios jumped over the Ocean as was it a pound, feeling the courageous cold of the air as the wing tried to force him down into the watery abyss beneath him, but the sun is consistent and always gets across the ocean in time, and fiery legs of Healios touch the ground of a new continent just in time for the morning, the morning had come, Helios had come. That day it was raining and the cloud cried gentle tears upon the young Helios, the ocean always cried its clouds of whenever Helios would evade her, forgetting what she has in favor of what she wanted. The rain reminded him of his own tears, those he would weep whenever he was overlooked by his stars. I guess we are all the same Helios thought, all the same in this world. Time visited Helios one day and spoke ”What are you waiting for” despite the fact that Helios did not expect him, he still seemed to arrive just at the right time, punctual I guess. It was a sunny day in Spain, and the golden-haired Helios pushed his heavy head toward the blue sky, becoming one with the environment despite the fact that he stood right next to time. He did not answer so time continued ”What are you still doing here if here is not where you wise to be”, Helios, trying his best to best quit faint but falling, chose to engage in conversion and spoke, “I am the existence of my own nature, and you are the existence of yours, I am of the light as you are of the sand, and we all are where we because of who we are, because of what we are”.
“Tis not your nature to sorrow tis your choice” spoke time.
“Tis no choice for what im I but a sick pertinence, dying of a tumor inflicted upon on the bases on my existence, what choice is there in that”
“ Ah but if the patient will not seek his own medicine be it not then his own choice to die”
“There is no cure for cancer Time!”
“And there is no cure for death, yet we must still live with it and not be deterred by it”
“Big words!” Healios spoke “Big words for a man who is himself the stealer of life and giver of death”. And Helios remembered then, for how many stars had Helios not seen disappear over Time, and how many others were not destient to fade away like the rest of them. All death is murder, and Time is the culprit behind them all. Kilometer was passing by them by the second as helios meet the European landscape with mornings light, he wanted to run faster to get away from his pressure but wanted to conserve energy for his next sprint decided against it, furthermore, there was no such as out running Time, he always caught you in the end. Time was a jealous man, so he took all the world so that he could have for himself. He was jealous of the young and beautiful, he was jealous of those in love, he was jealous of all the light that he knew he could not himself create,so he meticulously stole from them all the elements he desired, one second at a time, little by little Time took them all. The only thing that was left when everyone was gone was Time, and his yellowish gray hair on his head, and his pale white garments on his body, there was always Time left. Helios knew that even as they were traveling beside each other, Time was stealing life itself from him. It was evident to Helios that the less you had there more you could lose, for all your life and being is tied to so few things, to lose one is to lose all, and Helios only had one thing to lose. Helios gathered his thoughts as he stood still, facing the being of theft who went by such a vague name as time, Helios knew that it was not his real, for the day Helios commenced his existence, Time had induced himself by his real name, his given name. With a stitch tone and burning eyes, Helios spoke “ I do not want to have conversations with a murderer… Memento, I hate you. Be gone now”. Memento the young man with a sad smile and eyes of the mellecolly. There was not much more he could do and Memento knew it very well, he of all knew when it was time to, so he parted Helios with one last line “You hang around for a living, somewhere between all the land and the sky, wonders gift you’ve been given, yet when I tell you you tell me I lie, I wonder why”. Memento was quite faint then in a way only he could be, yes Time was still there, the decay of most and death of the rest was proof of that, yet he had disappeared, and Helios felt calm. The sun felt pleasant above the Spanish sky and walking in the land of the Spainsh had calmed Helios, he was at ease.. Hunger, fatigue or illness, all of them, none of them, no such thing could ever affect Helios, no, for despite the endless theft of Memento, not even he could make Helios feel pain, only two things could do that. The first was bound upon his nature, Helios, the walking light, had no natural need to satisfy his biology, nothing but one: To Walk. It was his defining treat to attempt to catch the night. The mere act of cautious movement of his body and soul gave Helios the natural satisfaction that he needed to survive, yet not live. The positive feedback gained from this movement was reversed substituted with pain and discomfort, and in time yes, he would burn up and die. This pain was indeed terrible and by physical standards by far the most pain Helios could do to himself, yet despite the burn sensation of pain in his flesh whenever he stood still, and clearly understand that for him to continue to do so would kill, still, the pain of the physical could be any match to that of physiological, what pain could the flesh bring you, compared to that of the hearth. In his early days, the only thing that had been on his mind had been to push that sun around the earth to fulfill his purpose, to destroy the night, but there was no satisfaction for Helios to be gained. He found it an impossible task, where to win one continent would be to consenting another, and the impossible defeat to the night left the heart only with dread. There was no whining as there was no fulfillment as the no end, there was only a hollow shell, there was only Helios and where he was and wasn’t. His heart’s true nature had become apparent to Helios, it was felt with a lounging, a desire, or perhaps better-called hope and there was always going to be the feat that that hope would be lost or that desire unmet, yet Helios couldn’t help but feel a sensation of happiness pouring through his body as well. It was a certain type of feeling that far eclipsed that of his basic needs that were met from day to day or the pleasant feeling of walking in a beautiful country. Something with a greater value of satisfaction yet a higher bar of fulfillment, it was quite evident to Helios, that to lose his stars would be the pain creator than any he had felt before. His legs felt strong that day, it had not been long since his last sprint but his legs came along finely, perhaps all the years running had made him faster, made him more durable, perhaps there was a meaning to it all, in the end, perhaps he would soon see his stars again, his stars again. He did not know what he would say as he did not know what he would do, all he knew was that this night, his next night would be the one, were he would make the stars love him, they would truly love him. His entire body started to flex in anticipation, and as Helios ran through the European landscape, he slowly started to build up energy for his sprint.
“Are you leaving us already” spoke a weak voice all around Helios?
“For if you do that then we would be so very lonely, would you please slow down and stay a little longer”.
Helios did not like this being very much, which he had always thought was odd since the both wished for elemental harmony in the world, still, the perverted attention of this being was all too much for Helios to handle. At least with the Ocean, Helios had only desired to be collected for the sake of collecting for the ocean to be treated all equally, this being did not. It Klang to Helios like the Volcanoes never would, and lied to him in a way Momento could never find Time to, It was nature, it was the entire European landscape that was talking to him. It continued:
“Why all things must pass, but you don’t have to pass by so quick, don’t you ever get tired of all that running, doesn’t all that movement start to bore you”
“Bore me you say, no, as a matter of fact, it constitutes the bases of my nature, I am no more tired of running than you are of growing your plants or mature you apples”
“But even so must you run so fast, slow or fast all things must pass but it doesn’t have to be so fast”
“No as a matter of fact I do, I am creating momentum, it will be easier for me to sprint in a moment if I’m running first”
“But you always run right through me and give me no attention at all, it is not fair”
“It is simply what is most convenient, run in west Europa star springing is East and finish somewhere in Asia, that is one of the ways I have had the most success seeing my stars and that hope I hope to have success to night”
“Helios, tell me, why don’t you stay around beings that want to give you attention, why do you always chase that witch you can never have, why haven’t you given up on this foolish dream yet.
This did not pick Helios’s fancy, and as he ran through the landscape he came to feel much of the irritation he had felt Towards Momento by weirdly enough for the precisely opposite reason. He would not have it, so in stern words he spoke:
“Alright then you tell me landscape, why don’t you stop pretending that you care for me when all you care for is what I bring: the light? I am well aware that you care not one bit for who I am, but what I am. Tell me when will you realize that neither the arbitrary love of land nor water could never beat the sincere love of the stars, oh the stars.”
“Well” The landscape spoke in the slow voice “At least I care enough to put up a front, at least I care about one aspect of you, at least I love you arbitrary, that more than you can say about your stars”
Helios heard this and was at once about to speak back but the absorbent speak of the Landscape cut him off as she spoke:
“You know I remember seeing you once speaking to the sky, it happened only once but that one time you jumped over the Atlantic ocean in a sprint and landed on my continent in the dead of night. It happens only once but I remember speaking to those stars, creating sweet poetry in an act of love towards them. I remember you pouring your heart out to them but when all was said and done: nothing. They did not reciprocate the gesture nor did they give any sign of acknowledging it nor even acknowledging your presence in the first place. That night, they looked exactly like they did before you arrived as after, and after you left they looked as they did before, they looked that night like they did this night before you came, and when you meet your stars tonight they will look and act and ignore you all the same. So I ask you again Helios, when will you give up on this silly dream of yours”
“You were right about one thing” Spoke Helios “all things must pass, this conversation included” and at once, Helios started his spring away from the cold European continent into Asia, and left his light and Europa behind. I was a sensation to sprint, an almost too apparent overestimation of his biology, like telling a lie without actually lying: getting away with the deed without committing the sin, or believing so anyway. It was a thrill to leave his light behind and sprint wholeheartedly into the abyss of the night knowing full light awaited him, yes! true light awaited him, just a little bit more and he was there. When he reached the limits of his legs, and therefore also reached his destination, it was dark as could be. He always had to get used to the sudden al complete change in lighting as his legs, despite not hurting, were weekend but the sprint and had to rest. Fountunally, the inability of ceasing counties movement and having his body come to a stop only applied when the sun, burning him for lack of movement and there was no sun in this sky, no, for when looking up upon the sky, Helios sees the stars. The movements were short, and he had to make every movement count, so softly he spoke:
Nothings like a great admire, burning like a passion’s fire,
nothings like the fire burning in my heart and soul.
Not the more could I aspire, not the worth to call a lair,
not another piece in this whole world could make me whole.
Every pattern on your skin, lets another sign begin,
Every constellation is another love to find.
Be my love a holy sin, be it yen and be it yin
When you beacons shines so brightly all my love be blind
May the water always shine, may the landscape be a shrine,
Let the nature have its way and call itself a lie.
May the trees offer their wine, and may there taste be divine,
Nothing in this world could stand against the pearly sky.
Scorpius be an earnest lover, Taurus with his joy cover,
Not to fear the call of war that comes from the red mars.
Leo will then discover, Libare may then uncover,
Nothing in this world could stand against the lovely stars.
So spoke Helios to the stars that shined with brilliant vigor upon the sky, but not a word was returned. Helios thought them magnificent as they hang high above the land and sea, so small yet so great, so far away yet close, there were apparent contradictions of the stars, and here stood helios on the beach, alone, not to be answered. He realized then the worlds of the European landscape, how the stars had been the same as when he was there as both before and after he had gone, saw that skin that night to be the same as it had always been. Never had Helios spoken sweeter words, never had he articulated himself better yet even now his yells for attention became unnoticed. He stood there in uncanny disbelief over the complete lack of acting on the part of the stars. Every single word he spoke nothing in the stars awoke, and Helios could barely get to say another word before the sun arose behind him and blinded the star from the sight of earth, and Helios was left alone, with all the sorrow in his heart and none of the attention of the stars. He stood still then, but due to the sun’s presence on his countuacas by inflicting pain upon the Young Helios, he continued to walk. It was a bitter walk as the morning came to eastern Asia, He really counts believe, that after everything he had done and said, it was all the same, everything was the way it had always been, nothing had changed, nothing had improved, nothing had been and not had been lost. There had been no meaning to it all, all the pain, all the suffering, all the words that were almost impossible to find, and of his sprint that defined his nature, all, all had been for none, for there was no one who would hear him. There was only Helios, Helios was everything, and that wasn’t much. One day, when the sun was high over the sunrise land he was spoken to by a voice which was only just the bit colder then his own, the voice ”Look upon the world Helios, look upon how little we have and how much we deserve. There are no begins quite like us Helios, we are things of destructions and we are creation, we are the only once with quite like that, and this one feature makes os above the lot of the rest, we special Helios and I don’t want you to squander your potential, what do you say good, why don’t we take the world of our self” . Helios was standing close to the Pacific Ocean, readying himself for yet another jump, yet another Continent, but as Helios had realized, something of the last continent was keeping him back. He turned towards the voice as it came from the figure of outstanding strength and vigor, it was Volcanus who was speaking to him, with the fire in his voice and hunger in his soul, why were they always so hungry? Helios had little interest in something as simple as one who was a member of the creator Volcano society so firm words he spoke:
“Be thee gone or I shall be myself”
“Be not in such Haste Helios, we are brothers of the flame, and just as much as I want the best for myself I want the best for you”
“All good lies have a truth in them, and you certainly do want the best for yourself”
“I want the best for all of us. Tell me, all that jumper doesn’t interest you much does it, you are a creature you enjoy walking not jumping yet in this day and age, that is impossible to do completely.”
“It might be a minor inconvenience, but I don’t put many minds in it”
“And the ocean, here her presence of acquiring you, that never bothers you”
“Any unwanted conversation bothers me”, Helios spoke, looking fiercely at Volcanus
“Then allow me and my brothers to build a bridge for you, one from Asia to America, and again from America To Europe, don’t you want that, don’t you want to do more of the walking and less or the jumping, it is in your nature after all.”
“ It is not worth the trouble Volcanus, furthermore, what worth does it have to escape being acquired by one if in doing so I am by another”
“We do not wish to acquire, we wish to ally with you, fire burns the best together after all. If you turn up your heat a bit and help destroy our ocean of ours, then we will give you the world. We only want to create it after all and destroy that ocean, for it is in our nature to do so, both of our natures. If you help us, then we will build whatever bridges or castles or construction you may desire”. It was obvious to Helios that no such partnership would ever be a choice he made to engage in, no, for the smoke created alone from the volcano would be enough to hide the stars behind the sky for him forever, not even taking into account all of the vapor that would be produced. He was like the swiz: too afraid to take any side but more than happy to reap all the benefits of neutrality. Helios was Neutral and he would remain neutral. So he spoke
“What’s the point, what’s the point in any of that? To fulfill your nature, to feel the joy of biology, to do what you were designed to do, what’s the point in any of that? My body being fulfilled does not mean my mind is, to feel the joy of biology is not to feel the joy of love, to do what I was designed well, what meaning does that have, who designed to do this and wh, what meaning is there in any of it. Doing simply to do, feeling simply to feel, living simply to live that is not a life at all.”
“ You wanted to light up the world didn’t you, why don’t we give a bit of light. If you burn that sun as brightly as you can, and we burn the tips of our heads all at once, then even though it may not last forever, at least for years, there would be nothing but light in this world. You have one purpose on the earth, Helios, to know the reason is not important, to feel the sweet ecstasy of achievement, that is important, after all that else do we have. After all what else do we have, creators who will not reveal themself or Stars who care not to speak to us.”
Helios looked at the Atlantic Ocean, it was the farthest to jump and he always hated jumping over it, but compared to talking to Volcanoes…Helios spoke
“You really don’t listen do you, i said be thee gone or I shall be myself”
And in one swift movement, Helios Jumped over the Atlantic Ocean. He found a great freedom in his jump over the Atlantic Ocean, to be completely separated from everything even if one for a few movements was a blessing for Helios. To be shot across the Ocean in the exact tortreoy as his feet left the ground, shoot across the Pacific with nothing but the wind to keep him company except the sun that of course followed him strictly when he jumped, and then, at once, his feet touched the ground and he had arrived. Where Helios found himself was colder then what he was used to. Helios had no understanding of warmth, no for he was indeed the creator of it and so no matter what amount the was offered to him it did not bother him, no he didn’t even notice it, but to due his warm skin he had become over-sensitive to the cold and cold was something he cold feel. It was a weird contradiction, for it was indeed impossible for Helios to feel warm, only cold and normal, and normal was everything that wasn’t cold, and this weather was cold. The pale snow fell lazily down upon the face of the earth, and Helios being and walking on that face, him as well. Looked up upon the cloudy sky and saw the white mess that was the sky. Nothing could be seen, not a star, not the sky, not even his own sun could fully penetrate the cloudy sky, only the faint outline of his light could get through, it was therefore widely dark as the morning sun could do little to bring light to the new continent. Helios looked at the sky and spoke to himself
“The Stars are still there, they are right there, it is simply the clouds that obscure the stars for me, if there was no cloud then perhaps things would be different, for the stars never leave, it is simply my perception the changes. And if that is true then true it must also be that that is the same for my light. Each day and each sky of each sky always has the stars behind it, they are right there, they have always been right there but I have been unable to watch them, all because of my light, all because of my sun. How come that my only talent is to take away that which I love, how come that my one blessing is my one course, how come that every single creature in this world wants to take advantage of me for the one ability that I desire not to have, I desire not to have this light, I desire not to be sun, I desire only to see and feel and love my stars, why, why was this forbidden for me from my birth, why can’t I have the stars”
“Maybe they do not want you” spoke a cold voice “Mabey all they desire is for you to be gone”.
It was then that Helios realized that he was not alone, he hated to freeze and he hated that voice, it was natural for him to do so, and he bet she felt the same. The voice that came from all around Helios came from the cold itself, it came from the snow, it came from the ice, it came from the sky itself, It was Shiver, in her cold voice Shiver was talking to him. Up till this point, Helios had been moving slowly through the winter landscape, as it was hard to do anything else than that, but when he heard that voice, he was prepared to jump into a full-on run to get away from her. She was not like the others, others may have been annoying and frustrating to deal with, and speaking for a short while and then leaving was perfectly fine with him, but she was not lying the others, it was not an annoyance to talk to her it was dreadful and Helios never felt he could say anything witty to anyone, one opposite, he only ever himself ended up in a terrible mood for months after talking to her for, she was not like the others. Helios was, therefore, ready to start running and he would have done so too if it wasn’t for that online
“The stars talk about you sometimes you know”
Helios almost feel as he attempting to start running but hesitated
“What did you say!”, spoke Helios.
“Oh simply, those nice diamonds in the sky sometimes talk about you to me… they say… that you are quite pathetic and I agree”
“You have not spoken to them! No one has ever spoken to them, not even me!”
Helios spoke angrily and loudly.
“That’s not completely true, people can communicate in many ways, language is one way, actions are another. Yes I might even say that action is the most important type of cumulation, after all that does words matter if you can’t act behind”
“Be Quiet!” Helios Yelled, “You know nothing of the stars, they are far too bright for something as cold as you Shiver!”
“Tell me Helios, you do realize this is your life right, you do realize that there isn’t going to be any development in your life right? Each day you shall walk the earth, each day you shall desire the stars, you shall sing sweet poetry to the stars, and each night they shall ignore you. You tell me that I know nothing but if the stars truly cared for you would not have answered you by now”
“ They will, someday or rather some night they will, you are just too hollow to see that”
“ Oh sisyfos, must you always roll that boulder, don’t you see that it’s getting you nowhere? It’s just like when you tried to light up the world way back then, you will get nowhere and yesterday is today and today is tomorrow, it is all the same.
Helios was upset by this and although he had continued to move and thought about starting to run, he had to speak back to Shiver, he had not answered her, this was very unlike Helios and Shiver noticed, So swiftly, not allowing Helios to get away, She spoke
“Perhaps just as much as you enjoy watching the stars, just as much are the stars dreading to see you, maybe you are hurting them, maybe you are in their way, maybe faculty of your existence, they are hurting, maybe it would be better if you were no more.”
Helios had had enough, he did not walk, he did not run, but in one swift movement, he sprinted across the American continent. His legs were burning, it felt like they were going to burn up but he had to get away, completely away from that continent, so running his legs across the land, seeing the ocean in front of him, sprinting with all his might he jumped the ocean with a speed he had never done before. Piercing through the sky as a projectile aimed at Europe, and he landed and fell to the ground, a continent away Shiver but still with her words in his head. He had gotten completely away from her but in doing so, accidentally had escaped his sun too and had arrived in a completely dark Europe, with completely bright stars. It was abrupt, he had not known what he was doing and the pain in his legs had forced him to the ground. It was silent, the stars would not say anything, and although that was not new, for some reason that upset Helios, especially tonight. He knew that he had not prepared anything to show, so simple he spoke from his hearth with the most earned sorrow and fear
“Seeing, Evening, sky.
Watching yet never Touching.
Living, Breathing, cry. “
He continued
“I wonder why you will not call me, I wonder why you will not talk to me. I wonder if you’ve never cared for me, seen me, have you ever seen me, or is your gaze focused upon something infinitely more beautiful than I could ever be.”
It was silent
“There you do the same thing my Stars, you allow me to pour out my heart, yet never give me anything of your own, I give and give and yet I never reach anything. Is this gesture your words, is this lack of care you langue”
Helios conditioned and spoke
“Are your words a sign of parting, I the fiend you shrike upstarting,
Am I but the bird that comes and gives you sorrow news.
Am I the Tyger burning bright, Hidden within the forests night?
Am I but the devil that god chose to never use.”
It was silent, and Helios had come to expect that. Despite his long sprint, the were sun was not far behind, and his time had come, the stars were going away, so in what Helios thought to be their last meeting he spoke
“Pearly is the sky
Knowing for the love to wait
Earnest is that lie”
It was all very silent, and the truth of the word “It is the same with you as without” truly rang their true effect then. The sun had risen in the sky then and not before long had stared inflating pain onto the young Helios, his body was burning and his legs were broken, he was ready to die and he thought it to be true, that were he to leave the world in this very moment then there would be no one who would miss him, it was the same before him as it will be after him. As his life had no effect on the world, his life did not have any meaning in the world. Helios wondered then how things had been before he had come along and started to push the sun, he even wounded how it had been before the sun excited, before the land and before the ocean, before the stars, had things been better then. Where had he come from, before he was alive, where had he been, and where was he going? “I suppose,” Helios said quietly “I will find out very soon”. The burning intensified and Helios closed his eyes on the beach.
“The worst thing you can do is to spoil a good story, and what is life but the greatest story of them all, once again my dear Helios you are rushing out into something too quickly, wait a bit will”
A voice spoke this, and Helios opened his eyes and knew the voice all too well
“Momento, is that you? You come early in the day”
“I define what it means to be early and it is indeed by definition impossible for me to be late, all there is is the importance by those who can not wait for the fruit to mature , yet I fear you have waited long enough, what are you waiting for.”
“I thought you said I was rushing, but now you are saying that I am standing still”
“You are rushing to the last page not the next, that you have been avoiding for far too long”
Helios was quiet, he had quit given up and was not up for any more games, so Momento continued
“Some people had said that time was money, they were wrong. Time can be used to gain money yet no money can buy you any long time on this earth, optimized it, yes, but no money can buy you longer time than the one that was promised to you by your birth. Count the leaf upon the tree but know the true value of the plant to be the years it can stand in spring. Time is the true currency of the world, and every person is its spender. You spend every day of your life and invest your time into the things that matter, the people that matter. You still have time Helios”
“And what better way to spend your life, than written sweet poetry” Helios spoke softly
“Oh Werther, do your hand never hurt writing such sorrow into poetry, do you never tired of always hurting yourself like, tis not your nature to sorrow”
“Why don’t you know” Spoke Healios “Sorrow is the most romantic device of them all”
“Why that’s cute” spoke Momento “But everything most passer, and anything beautiful most changed. Sometimes it becomes less beautiful, but I was the original one to say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This means, that every second you are alive until the day you die, you become stronger, more beautiful, more aesthetically pleasing, no, but that is but a shell, you are not”
“You are right Momento about one thing, I am tired, too tired, and wise not to walk anymore”
Memento looked upon the young Helios and signed, but regardless continued as he spoke
“You hang around for a living, somewhere between all the land and the sky
You are a wonder of the world, yet sometimes I wonder if you’d rather die, I wonder why.”.
There was a silence than was not unlike the one that had been between Shiver and Helios, but there was a difference, this was Momento, not Shiver.
“Yeah…” spoke Helios “I guess I would like that”
“Why”
“Because the light I bring has no worth, it is neither like the light of yore nor is in any of the future, it is a strong yet deadly light that burns the eyes of anyone who looks upon it. It is not what i desire, it is too different from the stars”
“Yes, perhaps so, but differences bring options. In variation comes strenght , it brings the best of the world to us and to you”
“It brings solitude, it brings shame, it brings nothing i could ever care for”
“It brigns might, you are like none of the others, you are something unique, something special, something new”
“Oh! I desire not to be something new, I simply desire to be loved, why take my time, take my health take my life and kill if it mean i can be reborn a lesser light”
“If you died the ocean would freez”
“Let it freeze”
“If you died the plants would writter”
“Let them wirtter”
“If you died the planet would die”
“Let it die! Let them die! Let them all! Let everything! Let me die if but it means that I may be up among the stars and not down among the dirty and greedy elements. Isent this what you do Memento, you kill, you take. We shall all soon pass anyway”
Memento looked firmly at Helios and he spoke such words that was only all too apparent that he had practiced for all long as he had lived.
“I promise you that you shall die, but not yet. The truth is, I don’t like killing things, I don’t like stealing time, I don’t like taking from the world. There was once where my eternal youth gave me happiness, but ironically enough, that happiness was the only part of me that was not eternal. But amidst all my sorrow, I found the whentruth, I found what the meaning of everything was, death. Life is a promise of death and death is a promise of life. It is because you can live that you can die, and because you can die, you can live. I don’t like seeing things, I like seeing things mature. If i did not pull on people and take their life away then nothing would change, no one would change and what is today would be forever, then what Shiver said would be true, yesterday would be today, and today would be tomorrow, I don’t want that.”
”What right do you have” spoke Helios slowly “What right do you have to choose who lives and dies like that”
“I don’t have any, this life was simply given to me and now I try to make sense of it the best I can, don’t we all? Nothing is eternal Helios, not even the eternal. I don’t know where I came from, nor do I know what my reason for living is, nor what will happen when it’s all over. I don’t know what I’m doing Helios, I’m just trying to make sense of it all.”
“Why are you saying this to me, why know”
Helios was still burning as the repeated pain of the sun struck it him.
“I’m telling you Helios because the least special thing about you is that sun you are carrying about the world, it is your light that I am so intrigued by… you said best yourself, most of this world is very greedy, they want to take and they want to gain and they want to use anything or anyone they can to gain that. They will tell you sweet lies and feed you fake worlds, I know all of them, I know all that has been before and I’ll meet all who will come after, none of them believes in what they are saying. They simply want to take it and will do whatever they can to take it, but you, what have you been doing with your time? You’ve been going around and giving sweet poetry to the world, you’ve denied your nature and ran faster than what you should, not to take but to give, and all you ever wanted back was to be heard. Tis your nature to take but you chose to give, that’s what’s so special about you Helios.”
“But it is too late not Memento, all too late”
“ You still live… I know you’ve done it once already, but never repeat the mistake that is not following your passion. Tell me Helios did it ever occur to you, take Mabey does lovely stars up in the sky simply couldn’t hear you. I’ve never talked to them from the earth nor anyone around here, maybe all you need is not to talk to them, but to go to them.”
“But what would be that point” Helios protested “Even if I could go where I go the sun followers me, I could never leave without bringing it, and I don’t want that upon them”
“Don’t you know Helios, all stars start on the earth, and they become stars when they realize that they’ve always been once. The sun, although quite untamable, is still a being of time, I am not. I shall take it, and I shall watch over it if you don’t want to.”
Memento pulled his hand over his head, and in one quick movement, the sun turned away and moved to the west, away from Helios. There was a movement of disbelief as Helios Helios saw his lifelong companion, or torture, slowly disappear over the horizon
“You must understand, that just as so many else, you are closely connected to the sun, and there is a connecting between the two of you that you could never run from, but it is your choice what to use your life on, it is your choice where you want to be, for Time is one your side, I am on your side after all”
There was awe in Helios then, and little belief that what he had seen was true.
“Would you like that Helios, for I will only do it if that is what you want”
“Yeah…” spoke Helios “I guess I would like that, but what do you get out of this”
“Well, I purpose, Sometimes the happiness of one dependent on that of another, I guess I would like to give something to someone, just like you do”
This had not happened before Helios knew, Time, the creature that took form all and lived and had lived, had for the first time given something, given something to someone else. To choose not to follow his nature and take but to give. The pain was not all gone from Helios, but he could stand, barely, and he could barely walk. And as Time often did, he disappeared and it was impossible for Helios to know where it had gone. How much time Had Helios not spent walking around the world, he was going to walk just a bit longer. And as Helios moved to the east and the sun moved to the west, the night began to appear. It was not a quick appearance as Helios was used to, it was slow and methodical, changing in the light of day bit by bit till finally the entire environment was gone. Before Helios, those stars had opened themself up in the evening sky. It was quiet and Helios expected that, but he did not find discomfort in the silence but rather found himself in peace by it. He knew he needed not to speak but to act. Helios supposed that now the morning would come from the East and not the West, and the last thing he would want is to be cut off by the sun again, this time moving not after him but against him. His legs were broken, but he supposed that he would have no need for legs anymore. Single, individual, yet many in their complexities that brought upon the sky its wonder. Plenty, complex, yet themself in their beauty and nature of the soul of man. So were the stars upon the sky, and so was Helios, as he slowly moved towards the stars. High above the sky to that one place where he had thought he could never go and Helios was no longer alone. If you saw the sky that night, you may have seen things quite the same. Stars of plenty and collection of complexity, there was much on the evening sky and lost oneself upon was but given to anyone who dared their upon among the stars. If you saw the sky that night, you would have seen Scorpius with his claws or Taurus with his horns, or any other constellation your eyes could spot. But somewhere up there, right above earth not far from the greater dipper and not far from the small one either you would have seen a star quite like the others but also quite unlike the others. And he could tell you about where we are right now, and about where you wanted to go, High above the earth, hanging in the sky. you’d have seen the northern star.