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Field Trip

By FeastfulSaint All Rights Reserved ©

Thriller / Horror


   “Carol!!” She yells, tears flowing down her face. Carol’s face is filled with panic, her eyes are wide and she's clearly out of breath. “Diane!!” Carol desperately screams “HELP ME!!” Diane can see him behind her. His eyes soulless, pitch black eyes. Click-clack! Click-clack! His expression is calm, collective and unfazed by the flakes of dried blood falling off his cheeks as he reached out and grabbed Carol’s arm “Here!” Diane sees him raise a bloody fire axe with his other hand “Take my hand!” As soon as their hands lock, the floor suddenly collapses, a steel pipe launched out, hitting Diane on the head, knocking her unconscious.

    The water hitting the small puddles all around her created a nice rhythmic sound that is almost soothing, like small rain drops within a hollow cave. She could feel her eyes trying to force themselves open, but she felt so relax, at peace with herself. Click-clack! Click- clack! that sound sent a jolt of adrenaline within her system forcing her to spin around, pushing off debris of wood and sheet metal off of her back. She studies the area, But all she could see is the mangled metal and pipes dripping water beside her. It’s dark; with a single ray of light several feet ahead of her. The panting she’s letting out is creating a large echo and the pain within her is making it worse. “Where am I?” she thought, rubbing her head. the right side of her body is extremely sore and almost numb.

  She winched as she slowly stood up and suddenly, the image of her friend reaching out to her appeared in her head. “Carol!” she began to look around erratically, tripping over broken sheet rock and small air ducts.  “Carol, Where are you!?” From a distance, just underneath the ray of light, she could see Carol’s hand limp on the ground. Her silver ‘class of 13’ engrave bracelet glistening from the light overhead, giving the appearance of a small hidden treasure “C… Carol…” Diane reached out and touched Carol’s hand; her fingers felt cold, clammy “Carol, are you…” She began to scream as she realized she's holding Carol’s severed arm.  She toss the arm behind her and looks around. It's just stone debris, twisted metal and overturned furniture everywhere. Her breathing echoes heavily through the hollow halls. 

  She then heard that teeth chatter, click-clack, click-clack, click-clack. Her eyes widen, she could feel her heart racing and body tremble. Click-clack, click-clack, click-clack. Diane jumped up and began to bang on the metallic wall. “Marcus! Ms. Cruz! Paulie! Anyone! Anyone!!” A loud snap echoes around her and the floor begins t vibrate. “Oh no, not again!” Suddenly the floor collapsed, she screams, but this time she only dropped a few feet. She quickly fell on her knees and braced herself for any falling debris. She then hears a small ping in front of her, she slowly opened her eyes and sees Carol’s bracelet. She reached out; she could hear Carol’s faint laughter in her mind as she picks up the bracelet and holds it close to her bosom. Her body began to shake once again as she rest her back against the steel wall. “Someone, please save me…”


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cicheah: Very well-knit story which sustains one's interest from beginning to end. Most enjoyable and a pleasure to read.

Shayleen Seiberg: See, I wasn't sure if I'd like this story. But it turned out extremely well. It kept me interested the whole entire time. The only thing wrong with it is there are multiple grammatical errors. Not punctuation wise, but spelling wise and word placement wise. But overall, I loved the book.

taosgw74: If this is the authors first attempt at writing, I'm floored. I was engrossed in the plot from the get go.

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pikagirl311: Katie Masters has definite skill when it comes to plot work and characters. The story is well-paced and pulls you along with the tide, keeping you hooked until the very end. The only reason I did not give it five stars across the board is due to a few minor quibbles with misspellings and such lik...

kim: This is great! Maybe it could just be a little more specific. One of the keys to great writing is describing things in detail. I think you're off to a great start. I wish you much luck.

Deleted User: This is a very clever story in the style of 19th century (and turn of the century) Gothic writing, very reminiscent of Stevenson's The Body Snatchers or even of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (less so of Frankenstein itself, since the author is more minimalist than Shelley's florid, Romantic rhetoric). ...

Ben Gauger: Kudos go to Karissa, author of Elements Of Engagement, an otherwise dark and twisted tale of love and workplace intrigue, very 'Fifty Shades of Grey' to be sure, her writing style being very graphic ad otherwise sexually-charged, hence the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' reference, and as for her use of g...

Carolyn Hahn-Re: I really liked this story! The writing was well done, and the plot was suspenseful. I couldn't stop reading chapter after chapter, on the edge of my seat! The characters were well developed, and true to form. Thank you so much for this wonderful read.

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