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By Seafur1 All Rights Reserved ©



White streams of breath blind me. The field never ends, never ends, never ends. Legs running, pushing, burning, stretching to their limits. No stopping, don't want to die.

A girl runs beside me. Faint memories cross my mind, but it doesn't matter who she is; just have to run. Hot breath on the back of my neck! Run faster, faster! Please don't die, don't want to die, legs go faster!

"The school." "What?" "Go to the school." Inside is safe, school is safe. Field becomes concrete. Girl is ahead now, and my feet follow. Runs past doors. Want to see if they're locked, but it will get me, choke me, mutilate me, ravage all that is left once it has torn me to pieces. Run, run, run.

Something touches my back and a scream claws its way from my throat. Can't breath, chest hurts, legs hurt, dying, dying! Dying, dying, DYING! Can't breathe, can't breathe S U F F O C A T I N G! Everything fades in and out, light then dark, dying.

Calm. Deep breath. In, out, in, out. Still running, still breathing. Run, breathe. One step, one breath, two steps, two breaths. Girl goes through open door, my feet follow. She shuts the door; roar filled with monstrous anger sounds. Run, run, hide. Glass shatters down the hallway, girl pulls me into classroom. Classroom safe. Hide under the teacher's desk, wait.

"What was that thing?" "Don't know." "Should we go out the window?" "Don't know." She is crying, tears rolling down her cheeks like blood. Heavy footsteps in hallway! Hold breath. Heart pounds, palms sweat. Heavy becomes light and then nothing. Deep breath.

Back to the hallway, have to escape. Careful steps, careful breaths. Quiet, quiet, don't let it hear. Take a few steps, look, listen. Take a few more, look, listen. Near safety, girl looks at me. "Why are you breathing so hard?" I wasn't. 

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Pam Thomas: Loved the story. It left me thinking just a tad bit. Also, it is the ultimate blend of genres that I adore! Continue writing!

Alex Rushmer: I like the intrigue that you introduce from the very beginning of the story. The idea of the girl waking up in the alley with no memory of how she got there and with injuries is very interesting. It was very well done. There were a lot of grammatical errors that need to be fixed though. I think t...

Shelley Miller: The ideas and the set up and this are amazing! The feel of the story goes from science fiction to horror to suspense all in a big, thrilling ball. I really like your character so far and her powers and the idea of the ark being a person. The world is intense and gritty and clever as well. While a...

skippybash12: This story has engaging characters that you care about and a plot that is unpredictable and exciting. It is well written with a believable voice. Great weekend escape and if there was a sequel available I would buy it today -

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Bryan Laesch, author of Remnants of Chaos:Chaotic Omens for his use of the Gothic style of writing and in addition the footnotes and endnotes at the end of each chapter, a welcome accompaniment to be sure, though his use of grammar could use a little improving, but his use of punctuation...

Kastril Nomenclature: This is an artfully-written horror story which deals with the most frightening monsters in the entire history of the macabre: teenagers. Indeed, the author captures the speech, relationships, and general highly-charged, petty, and competitive atmosphere of high school so well, that you would swea...

Bailey_Simms: So. As of my writing this review, "Deep Trouble" is the most popular story among those submitted to the current Inkitt horror contest. I guess it's best not to lie: I read this story primarily because I wanted to check out the competition. (There's your full disclosure, first, before anything el...

Frank Pilato: I wanted to be sure to comment on this, as I did not read the whole story through, but I am impressed with you.....very impressed. ......................................................................................................................................................................

E_W_Hemmings: First of all, sorry this review took so long: I've had science mocks recently and then when I came to read this, I made notes to put in the review like I usually do... but then I deleted them. Well done me. As a result, this review is a bit more general than most reviews I write, but hey ho, let'...

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