And Still I Remember

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Summary

They told me I wouldn't remember that day, but I remember everything.

Genre:
Horror
Author:
Joanna Jaguar
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
13+

And Still I Remember

I remember a lot about the day before they brought me here. They all said I wouldn’t, but I do. I remember perfectly.

I remember Father coming into my room the night before. I remember the suffocating weight. I remember fearing the darkness that night, and all the ones before it.

I remember how he woke me up early the next morning, like he always did, and told me to get in the shower before Mother woke up. I remember him wrapping me up in a thick bathrobe, and kissing my head, and "why don't you go into your room and get dressed now, daddy's sweet girl?"

I remember how much I hated being "daddy's sweet girl."

I remember the moving van pulling up across the street. I remember how the pink taffeta curtains that Mother had installed only days before felt against my skin as I drew them back to watch the new family moving in. I even remember the color of the car that pulled into the driveway behind the moving van: dark blue.

But mostly, mostly I remember him.

They said I wouldn’t remember, but still, after all these years I do. I remember how the sun cascaded through the oak trees on the lawn and made his black hair sparkle with highlights of deep red. I remember his smile as he gazed upon his new home, and how his teeth seemed so impossibly straight. I remember how I gasped when he looked up to my window and saw me standing there watching him.

I remember his eyes. Those beautiful emerald green eyes looking up at me with curiosity and wonder. I remember wanting to capture those eyes in a jar as if they were fireflies that would light the darkness that suffocated me every night. As if those eyes, the little fireflies, could keep me safe.

I remember staring at him for what seemed like hours until he disappeared and Mother called me downstairs to meet the nice new family from across the street. I certainly remember the way my heart beat hard in my chest as I took the long walk down the staircase to the front door. I remember the phrase ‘dead man walking’ repeating in my brain.

I remember Mother introducing us, though I don’t remember his name. I was too busy staring into his eyes. I remember her telling me I should bring him upstairs and show him some toys. He was new in town and hadn’t made any friends yet.

I remember the sound of his voice and how it filled my dark world with sunshine. I remember how his laugh tinkled in my ears and how his eyes crinkled at the sides when he smiled.

But mostly, mostly I remember the click of my bedroom door as it locked in place behind me.

I remember asking him if he wanted to play a game, and telling him to sit on my bed. I remember telling him how pretty his eyes were and that he should close them while I set about getting what I needed for our game.

I remember how my secret drawer sounded as it slid open and how the weight of my empty butterfly catching jar felt in my hands as I placed it on the floor by his feet.

I remember singing softly to him, a lullaby Mother used to sing for me. I remember knives, swift like the beat of a hummingbird’s wings and screams that drowned out my song. I remember how sticky the blood felt against my hands and the sound of Mother throwing her weight against my bedroom door, screaming for me to unlock it “this instant!”

I remember hiding my jar and the fireflies within before I heard the crack of the door jamb as Father kicked it in. I remember more screams, and lots of crying. I remember being shaken and how my face stung when Mother slapped it. I remember the sound of sirens.

I remember Father throwing things, and Mother crying, and someone screaming "how could you let this happen again?"

I remember police officers with guns and nurses with needles and doctors who said things like “just tell us what happened, Lily.” I remember my silence.

I remember all the "how are you feeling todays" and the "would you like to talk nows" and the "just be a good girl and take your medications."

I remember that I’ve been here at the Asylum for 2937 days and that today is my 16th birthday. I remember that my name is Lily Walker and that 8 years ago I accidentally killed a boy.

I remember that I didn’t mean to kill him.

I just wanted his eyes; those beautiful, green protectors of darkness.

And mostly, mostly I remember where I hid my butterfly jar.

No one will ever find it.

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Further Recommendations

Fiallosw: Right up to the very end the story is captivating. Brought me to tears. Even though at the beginning of the last chapter I had a inclination that it would end that way. Some of the statements about love hit home. Hope that you do a sequel with the or even a prequel.Great job!!!!

franky: I enjoyed this alot. I could easily read again

Jaww_23: I loved this book , keep making more books like this , enjoyed it a lot

Adin: I have really enjoyed this book so far. I hate Hana honestly, but I think the author did that on purpose

Andjela: This is the best book i read in long time ❤️❤️❤️

Ayiesha: I just like it because it is in my genre standards

Jaww_23: can't wait for the next Rowy's journey

arshifanmail: Hello thereI like the fact that your writing shows your clear thinking, and creativity. I've been going through so many novels the last few weeks. Their writing styles make me cringe and let us not even go to the technical writing aspects! I read the first book you wrote on Galatea and came looki...

jessygranada: You're not kidding when you said you write dark and disturbing content.. But all that I've read is good and I want more of Torin & Sagel's story. I wonder if they can get a HEA ending after the baby? I know it will be highly unlikely with what she's been through with Torin but why not right?

More Recommendations

Kay: I like how the book is set up and how every new chapter the quote to make the chapter more intriguing and eye catching for the reader. I don't like how the brother who is supposedly nicer is almost forgotten how bad he is to the maine character because he was the first to be harassing her in the ...

dorothyblaq: It was so emotional, frustrating and totally had an effect on me. Now that's what makes a good book, keep it up 👍

Megen: I like how the story is progressing, the flow is amazing. The grammar can be improved but I love the story. I would recommend it to friends.

Colleen Fussy: I like the story line . Very interesting!

Kemiah: I liked everything about the book

Superstar No1: It is an awesome book .Please bring a part 2 . 😊

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