I groan at the sound of my annoying alarm clock, I reach over and switch it off. I sit up in my medium sized bed and rub the sleep from my eyes, I yawn and kick the pink covers into the messy carpet floor. ‘Time for another day in hell...’ I thought as I got out of my semi decent bed. I walk over to my closet and grab a black T-shirt, gray jeans, and a red jacket. I open my drawer and grab a black bra and a pair of green panties, I grab a pair of black socks and close the drawer.
I walk into the bathroom and flick on the lights, which was a big mistake. My black curly hair was a mess, and my pale face was littered with bruises. I sighed heavily and muttered quietly, “I’ll need a lot of foundation for this.” I stripped off my pajamas and began to clean myself up for the day, I got dressed and brushed my teeth. “Ugh... now for this disaster, I call hair.” I said as I took my hairbrush off the sink. I dragged the brush through my knotted hair, I grimaced in pain as I kept brushing my hair. Once I was done, I grabbed my makeup and began to apply some to my face and neck.
Dad really did a number on me last night, I didn’t even do anything. I sighed heavily as I was putting on my black eye shadow, “Not to mention Trina plans on giving me hell today.” I muttered as I finished applying my makeup. I walked out of the bathroom and slipped on my red jacket. Last time I forgot this, I was made fun of for my scars.
I cut to distract myself from the mental abuse, but at home, I get both mental and physical abuse. My dad wasn’t always like this, he used to be nice and sober. That is until my mother was killed last April, he blamed me for her death. He would always say “If it wasn’t for your ignorance she’d be alive!” After awhile I started to believe him, my father began drinking last month, and let me just say he’s not a nice drunk. Last night, he was drunk and angry at me. I tried to hide in my room, but he found me; he just kept hitting me and yelling about how useless I was. I shook my head trying to forget about that incident, I grabbed my book bag and made my way downstairs.
My father was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee, he seemed sober at least I thought he did. “Serenity sweetie... I-I’m sorry about last night... I-I wasn’t myself.” He spoke with a sincere tone, he seemed legit but I had my doubts. “I-It’s fine daddy... I-I know you were angry. I understand really.” I muttered as I slipped on my worn converses, he chuckled lowly as he said: “I usually don’t beat you that bad, but the scene of your mother being dead kept playing in my head.” I looked down as tears welled up in my eyes, I knew he didn’t mean it.“If anyone notices the bruises what do you tell them?” He asked while sipping his coffee, “I fell down the stairs...” I muttered. He grinned at me and said, “Good girl! Now get the fuck out of my house.” I whimpered quietly and walked out of the house.
Why did he get so sadistic after mom died, I thought he loved me, but I guess not. I shut the door behind me, and walk down the sidewalk to the bus stop; my face really hurts. I sat down on the bench and waited silently. “Excuse me, but may I sit next to you?” A soft voice had asked from my left side, I looked up to see a blonde girl with brown eyes standing there. She had tan skin and she was wearing a pale pink sundress. “O-Oh um s-sure.” I stammered slightly as I scooted over. She smiled at me and sat down, “Thanks my name’s Jenny. What’s yours?” She asked politely. I smiled back and replied, “My name is Serenity. It’s nice to meet you, Jenny.” Jenny and I talked a little more until the bus pulled up. I gripped the ends of my jacket sleeves and walked onto the bus. I glanced at Trina and saw an evil smirk on her face, I looked down and walked down the aisle. I tripped and fell to the floor, “Oops maybe you should watch where you’re going freak.” Sneered Trina as she and the others on the bus laughed at me. I used my black curls to cover my face; hoping they wouldn’t notice my tears, “Why the hell did you do that!?” Jenny yelled as she helped me out of the bus floor.
“I didn’t do anything, clumsy bitch needs to watch where she steps.” Said, Trina, as she flipped her straight brown hair. “Um no, you need to learn to get your feet out of the aisle!” Jenny replied as she led me to a
seat near the back, I wiped my eyes and quickly sat down near the window. Jenny sat beside me and huffed, “The nerve of some people I swear.” She muttered while picking at her nails.
I looked down and played with the ends of my sleeves, the bus ride to school was painfully silent; I hope Jenny isn’t mad at me. When the bus pulled up to the school everyone rushed off, even Jenny; she didn’t wait for me. I sighed heavily and began to walk off the bus.
“Excuse me, Miss Williams?” Asked Ray the bus driver, I looked back at him and raised my left eyebrow questioningly. “How’d you get those bruises on your neck?” All color drained from my face, my dad’s hand markings were starting to show. “I-I um fell down the stairs... I-I’m okay though!” I replied with fake reassurance as I ran into the school. He’s not going to believe that, pretty sure you can’t get finger shaped bruises from falling.
As I walked down the hall, I heard people snickering and whispering. “Nice hickey’s slut, did your pimp give them to you?” Mocked Trina as she and her friends laughed, “T-They’re not hickey’s... j-just bruises.” I muttered while gripping my sleeves. “Oh, you mean like how your scars are cat scratches? Fucking emo freak.” She spoke harshly as she walked away.
I whimpered slightly and rubbed my arms, she doesn’t know what I go through. I walked into my first period and took a seat in the back, Mrs. Stein walked back to me and bent down so she could whisper in my ear. “Dear please stay after class, I need to speak with you.” I blinked my wide blue eyes and nodded, the class period went by slowly; every now and then I’d be hit with paper balls.
When the bell sounded everyone bolted out except for me, “Miss Williams...I’ve been noticing bruises on your face and neck. Is everything alright at home?” Mrs. Stein asked as she took a seat in front of me. I looked down playing with my sleeves nervously, I should tell her but what if my dad gets mad? “Everything is fine at home, these bruises were caused by my accident-prone tendencies.” I lied to the one teacher who actually noticed the bruises, “Well... if you ever need to talk Miss Williams you know where my room is.” Mrs. Stein replied calmly as she stood up, I faked a smile and nodded while leaving the classroom.
The day went by pretty fast until gym class rolled around that is. Coach Stevens allowed everyone to shower, all of the girls kept complaining about how disgusting they felt. “So clumsy bitch, are you going to shower or reek of sweat for the rest of the day?” Trina crudely asked while drying her hair with a towel. I sighed heavily and said, “I can’t shower... my makeup will wash off.” Trina scoffed and smirked, “You need to shower to wash off your skank smell.” I looked down and rubbed my neck, “Come on Jen let’s give her a little push.” Said, Trina, as she walked over to me, I looked up to see Jenny beside her grinning. They both grabbed my arms and dragged me to the nearest shower, “S-Stop it! Let me g-go!!” I screamed as I struggled against them. They both just laughed and pushed me against the shower wall. “You really do smell like sex Serenity, why not wash yourself off, you dirty whore.” Sneered Jenny as she turned on the cold water, the freezing water began to soak me all over. I could feel my makeup begin to wash away, I can’t let them see the bruises. I ran out of the shower before I could get out the door someone tripped me. I fell and hit my face on the damp tile floor, my nose really hurt.
I could hear Trina and Jenny’s laughter echo around me, I began to whimper as I sat up; there was blood on the floor. “Seems like you can bleed somewhere’s else besides your arms!” Trina exclaimed as she continued to laugh. I stood up and stumbled slight, I walked out of the locker room. “Oh my god Miss Williams what happened!?” Coach Stevens yelled as he ran over to me. “I-I slipped and fell...i-it’s no big deal,” I muttered as I wiped the blood from my nose.
“Trina! Jennifer! Please escort Serenity to the nurse’s office!” The color drained from my face as I watched the two girls walk over to me; they were both grinning sadistically at me. They both grabbed my arms and made me walk forward, “Tell me Serenity, where’d you get those pretty little bruises?” Trina asked while gripping my left arm tight. I growled lightly and replied, “N-None of y-your damn business.” I winced as I felt Jenny dig her nails into my arm, “Bet her pimp gave them to her.” Jenny sneered while looking at Trina.
“Awe you didn’t give him his money did you?” Asked Trina as she laughed, I looked down and bit my lip. They’re making fun of me even when they don’t know the truth, “You really wanna know where I got the bruises?” I asked quietly. “Oh yeah tell us all about it freak,” replied Jenny rudely. I growled lowly and said “M-My dad fucking beats me at home! He hits me, then when I come here I deal with you two!” The two of them gave me a dumbfounded look, “Oh bull shit you’re lying! Your dad is the nicest man I know!” Trina exclaimed while pushing me back.
“You’re so pathetic Serenity! Lying about your dad like that, you’re just wanting attention!” Jenny yelled while stomping her foot, “You’re so disgusting! Just go kill yourself already!” Yelled Trina as she and Jenny walked away. I looked down and wrapped my arms around myself, I wasn’t lying my dad does beat me. I walked down the hall trying my best to hide my tears, I stopped in front of an empty classroom.
“Kill myself huh... sure...the world will be better without me,” I muttered as I walked into the room. I shut the door and began to look through the drawers of the desk for a pair of scissors. I found a pair of purple ones in the top drawer, I grab them and sit down in the chair behind the desk. I open the scissors wide and drag the cold blade across my left wrist, “I-It’s not bleeding enough... I-I can fix that.” I muttered as I dug the blade of the scissors in deeper.
“Oh my god Miss Williams, what are you doing!?” I looked up to see Mrs. Stein standing there in the doorway, I ignored her and continued to dig the scissors in deeper. “Miss Williams stop it!” Mrs. Stein yelled as she took the scissors from me, I looked up at her as my vision began to blur. She grabbed some gauze from her desk and began to wrap my wrist, “N-No...s-stop p-please... I-I want t-to die.” I muttered weakly while looking at her. I couldn’t hear after that, for everything had gone dark. I could hear the faint sound of beeping, I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t. “Where did she get the bruises, David!?” I heard a familiar female voice scream, “I told you, Robin, she fell down the stairs!” That was my father’s voice, where am I? I could have sworn I died. “I know you’re lying, David! I am going to call the police, I will not stand for this!” Robin yelled and then a door slammed shut. “If I got to jail because of you, I will make your life a living hell.” My dad whispered in my ear harshly, that’s the last thing I heard before falling back to sleep.
“Mrs. Blake your niece has deep lacerations on her left wrist, it also appears that she has some old ones as well.” A deep male voice spoke, I groaned and slowly opened my eyes. “Serenity sweetie, oh my god are you okay?” I blinked and looked over to my aunt, “W-What’s going on? W-Where am I?” I rasped out while staring at my aunt. “You’re at Mercy Grace Hospital Miss Williams. You were rushed here after your attempt at suicide.”
I turned to look at the man in the white coat and scrubs, he appeared to be young, he has brown hair and gray eyes. “Serenity...why’d you try to kill yourself?” My aunt asked while holding my hand, I looked down at the blue covers in shame. “I always get bullied, nobody helps me... t-then at home daddy calls me names and hits me... I-I couldn’t take it anymore.” I muttered as I allow my tears to fall freely, my aunt tilted my head up so I could look at her pale face.
My aunt’s dark brown hair was a mess and her pale green eyes held worry in them. “How long has he been doing this sweetheart,” my aunt asked calmly. I rubbed my arms and replied softly, “T-Two months... t-the verbal abuse started after mom died... the physical abuse started when he began drinking.” She pulled me into a tight hug, “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked quietly while holding me tight. I began to whimper and visibly shake, she’s mad at me too.
“Miss Williams you’re going to have to try and calm down.” The doctor instructed as he pulled my aunt away, I began to hyperventilate as the panic feeling in my chest grow. Why can’t I do anything right? I always fuck everything up, “She’s having a severe anxiety attack! I need to sedate her.” The doctor exclaimed as he took a syringe from the medical cabinet, it was getting so hard to breathe; I couldn’t control myself. I flinched when I felt a small prick on my arm, suddenly I began to feel warm.
“Sweet dreams Miss Williams,” said the doctor as I fell into peaceful darkness. A few hours later I felt my blue eyes flutter open, my aunt was sitting at the foot of my hospital bed. “R-Robin?” I rasped out the question, she smiled at me and replied: “I’m here sweetie... doctor Stone had to sedate you last night.”
Okay, so I was out for the rest of the night, “I-I’m sorry for freaking out on you.” I muttered as I sat up, “It’s alright honey... the doctor started you on antidepressants and nerve medication to help with the anxiety.” She replied while stroking my hair, she was wearing her gray pantsuit. “Y-You’re not late for work are you?” I asked hoping she wasn’t, “Oh no sweetie I left early so I could come see you. It’s noon Serenity.” I gave her an ‘oh’ face as I nodded my head.
“Now the dilemma with your father... I called child services this morning, they’re going to set up paperwork so I can be your legal guardian.” She spoke with happiness.” Did... Did they put daddy in jail?” I asked quietly, she looked at me with sympathy and replied, “Yes, he is...he can’t lie his way out of this.” I could feel the panic feeling rising once more, “Serenity calm down! It’s going to be okay I promise!” Robin exclaimed as she hugged me tightly.
I closed my eyes and took in a slow breath, “It’s going to be okay... I don’t know if your father will be going to court or not... from what I heard he’s thinking about taking a plea bargain.” She spoke softly while holding me tight, it won’t be okay anything is never okay with me. The door opened slightly to reveal Doctor Stone’s young face, “Good afternoon Miss Williams, how are you feeling?” He asked while smiling. “I’m feeling okay... a little nervous but okay,” I replied softly while playing with the edge of my blue blanket. “The nerve medicine I prescribed should help with that, I do believe you’re ready to leave, but I recommend two days off from school.” Stone replied while handing my aunt a clipboard, my aunt signed her name and returned the board to him.
“Also Mrs. Blake CPS called saying they needed to talk to you.” Said Stone as he left the room, Robin pulled out her flip phone and turned it on. “Oh my They’ve tried calling me a few times, I’m going to step out and call them back.” My aunt spoke as she walked out into the hall. I sat in the room quietly and looked around with a bored expression.
Maybe living with my aunt will make me feel better, “Tch... yeah right...I’ll just fuck up my life with her too.” I muttered as I leaned my head back. My aunt walked back in with a wide grin on her face, “I have good news! CPS has given me temporary custody over you!” She exclaimed happily, “What’s the bad news...don’t say there isn’t any cause that’s a lie.” I replied calmly while looking into her green orbs. She lost her smile and sighed, “Your father took the plea bargain...he’s on one-year probation and he must attend AA meetings every Wednesday.”
So he’s not going to jail, at least I won’t be living with him. “The CPS worker... gave him supervised visits once a month, he’ll be coming to our house.” My aunt added quickly, oh so I’m just screwed all around with this. “He will not get you back, I promise sweetie. If he tries anything he will go to jail.” Robin spoke with reassurance, I don’t believe her. Knowing my dad he will find a way to hurt me. The door to my room opened, there stood a young African American woman; she was wearing pink scrubs and her hair was tied into a tight bun.
“I’m just here to remove her IV, once I’m finished you’ll be able to take her home.” The nurse spoke happily as she walked over to my bedside. She removed the needle from my hand and put a bandage over the needle mark. She then disposed of the needle into the dirty needle box on the wall, she walked out of the room soon after.
“I stopped by your house on my way here, I brought you some clean clothes to put on,” Robin explained as she sat a bag of clothes on the bed. I took the bag and made my way into the bathroom, the content in the bag consisted of a black t-shirt, blue jeans, a gray bra, and pair of blue panties. I took off the hospital gown and flinched, in the mirror, I saw the many bruises and scars that I had on my body. The bruises from my dad, and the scars from myself. I felt tears well up in my baby blues, I really regret all the times I took that cold blade across my skin.
The bruises are fading away, but the scars might not ever go away. I sighed heavily and got dressed, “Are you dressed honey?” Robin asked from outside the door. I opened the door and faked a smile, “I’m all ready to go... just gotta put my shoes on.” I muttered as I walked past her, I looked under my bed to find my worn out shoes.
I grabbed the worn out converses and slipped them onto my feet. “Serenity... I know you’re scared, but I need you to trust me when I say I’ll protect you.” Robin spoke softly as she rubbed my arms. I sighed heavily. And looked into her pale green orbs. “I’m trying to believe you, but it’s hard,” I muttered as I wrapped my arms around myself. Robin sighed as she guided me out of the room, and down the hallway. “Um, ma’am patients must use wheelchairs, hospital policy.” Said a male nurse as he rushed over to us with a wheelchair. My aunt apologized as she took the chair from him, I sighed and sat down.
“The doctor said you could go back to school on Tuesday, he said your medicine should kick in over the weekend.” Said, Robin, as she wheeled me out of the hospital. She wheeled me over to her sleek, black Sedan, and helped me stand from the chair. “Your uncle is very excited to see you,” she said with a smile on her face as she got into the driver’s seat.
I nodded my head and got into the passenger seat. “When’s the first visit from dad?” I asked flatly while looking out the window. My aunt sighed heavily and replied, “This coming Thursday... I tried to change it, but they wouldn’t have it.” I laid my head on the window and muttered a soft sarcastic “great.” Most people my age would be lounging around doing nothing on a Saturday afternoon, but me I’m here in my new bedroom pacing nervously.
‘Some how some way, I’m going to mess everything up with my new life.’ I thought nervously as I began to play with my hair shakily. There was a soft knock on the door, I jumped out of panic and asked, “Y-Yes?” The door opened slowly and my uncle’s head popped in, my uncle John had a slim face, his complexion is tan, and his hair was brown with a little gray.
“Dinner is ready, we decided to fix your favorite.” He spoke with a soft smile, I smiled back and rubbed my head. “I-I’ll be down in a minute,” I replied softly while tugging down the sleeves to my gray
cardigan. He nodded and shut the door, I let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding. “Let’s start this new life.”