Dear Diary...The Night I let him take me

One thirty in the morning and I can’t sleep. There is so much going through my mind I don’t know where to begin. So I decide to open up and write again…..Here goes.

Internally feeling lost and alone to some degree. My mind races, spinning relentlessly. Where do I start? Where do I end?

My sisters start to write and it pours from them like a Crimson waterfall. I’m excited, I’m elated. I must do the same. But what to write about this time, I’m not sure so I’m gonna fly by the seat of my pants.

I have a blank page in front of me, no title in mind, the song above plays full blast and I start typing not knowing where it’s going to take me.

My body is screaming in pain but my heart and soul are on fire. I want to write and have no topic on hand. Well this is a first…shall I do a dear diary piece? Man, haven’t done one of those since high school. What the hell let’s give it a whirl shall we.

Oh God my sister quill has just written a piece that has my internal female flame lit and the furnace is on high!!!!

That’s it I’ve got it……

Dear Diary,

Today I fell short of myself.

Found myself spiraling into a depressive hell and I’m not even sure why.

Well I kind of am but this time I can not tell you why.

This time it needs to stay in a very special place, inside my own soul. Can’t even give you a hint within.

Hearts a flutter, head is spinning.

Confusion wants to pay me a visit and I do not want to invite it in.

WAIT!! This is a diary entry i can say whatever I like in here……

You see ; It’s very much this incredible vampire scratching at my window begging me to invite it in. But I know if I do doom awaits me.

How am I going to survive this?

I can’t tell. It’s a secret. He’s my secret.

He is the forbidden one. Something I am not supposed to have, not supposed to want.

He entices me, lures me in, keeps me close and then backs off and pushes me away.

I’m hypnotised by his candor. His soft-spoken words. His beautiful eyes.

I’m picturing his lips running up my neck from my collar-bone. His hands on my hips drawing me closer and closer to his body.

Do I run to the kitchen and grab the garlic or do I give in to his polite voice and beautiful face and let him take me. For if I do my fate will be sealed. Life eternal but a night feeder I will be. Lost will be the daylight and the warmth of the sun. New will be the darkness and the fresh scent of blood. I will live for him and no one else. I will be his and he will be mine.

The very thought alone guides me closer and closer to my final decision.

Yes!!! I will invite him inside. I will give in. I’m accidentally in love and I want out of this life. This human life. I will let him take me.

I will never know what it is to grow old but I can accept that for him I will have to accept that.

The Acceptance:

His beautiful face lets me know it will be alright.

I’m ready.

Take me now my darling. Take away from this human hell. I no longer wish to be part of them.

I want to be part of your beautiful soul.

I don’t want my love to go to waste.

Take me to my new life.

Take me with you.

He prepared my body for what was to come.

I was so incredibly relaxed, lost in his eyes.

His strong arms, one around my waist, one behind the base of my skull.

As he leaned in I could feel his cold breath on my skin.

I gave myself to him completely.

As he lay me back on the bed.

His hand running across both breasts so delicately, down the middle between them and across my navel, over my hip to my inner thigh.

So tender, he removed my gown and my panties caressing me with his hands the entire time. Kissing me tenderly on every inch of my body. My back arch ready to accept what was to come.

After what seemed like an eternity he was inside me. To try to explain to you what I felt at that moment would be like having two worlds collide at full tilt. I didn’t want it to stop.

The movements were slow and deep yet heavy but not hard , well at least not hard to point it hurt me in any way.

And there it was; the last moment. God did I feel that!!! Everything went off at once.

As he sank his teeth into my neck a rush of red flashed past my eyes and became all I saw until the darkness came. But he wasn’t done yet.

He travelled his mouth all the way down to my inner thigh bared his fangs and they burst through my skin like a human would bite into a soft peach.

I felt my blood drain as he sucked hard.

Everything went black…….

And then it was over.

Now came the change……..

The change was agony, horrific, most painful. I don’t remember much. but I do remember the a pain.

When my transition was complete I felt tranquil yet I craved blood. Oh my first feed. I thirst like I have never thirsted before.

I was beautiful, like a goddess only a dark one.

But I needed to feed.

Oh the thirst, it was causing such pain inside me. Like an internal fire burning me from the inside out. I had to find someone to feed from and fast…