Mesmerised and hypnotised
My heart flutters to the beat of your dance
I am dazed and confused.
I am lost in a trance.
And a tear rolls down my cheek
As you slowly die.
Here I am, somewhere between a dream and consciousness, my eyes heavy, as is my heart. And all I can dream or think about is my beloved.
When you find her, you will do anything to be with the woman you love. She will possess your every waking thought. She will invade your dreams. She will become your reason for living and nothing on earth is more important than what you feel for her and your insatiable need to spend all of the days of your life with her.
And that was my downfall, and her name was Charlotte.
When I first saw her I was hypnotised. She was tall and slim and had an elegance about her that beguiled me. Her jet black hair was long and straight and she had a white mallen streak which cut through the centre of her black mane like a lightning bolt through a night sky. The vision of her made me think of the sorceress Polgara from the Belgariad novels of David Eddings. She wore her full ripe lips like a wild red blaze upon her face and her piercing blue eyes were soul deep intoxicating. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And I loved her instantly.
I spent the next two months pursuing Charlotte. I was with her every night and every weekend, leaving her side only to go to work. I virtually lived with her almost from the beginning. It was a tumultuous and passionate relationship, for Charlotte was afraid of love. Her feelings scared her deeply and my love for her terrified her. I was pushed and pulled, loved and rejected. I would see her defences gradually falling as she let go of her fears and then she would rebuild her tower around her and lock me out. Eventually though she gave in to her feelings and our love blossomed. The first time we made love was like an epiphany. I had loved her instantly and wanted to love her forever. When she gave herself to me I knew with a certainty like the rising of the sun, that I would love her forever and could not live without her in my life.
As I wait here in the dark I remember how wild she really was in those first two months. Her anger at me was often intolerable. She was so scared of feeling love that she would often do anything to shake me off. We would be in a nightclub and she would just disappear. I would run out into the night calling her name running miles to her house hoping to find her along the way. Often I would find her, but often I wouldn’t and I would sit on her doorstep and wait for her. She always turned up eventually. Every time I found her she would be so intoxicated that she could hardly stand. Always I would speak to her the following day about how fearful I was when she did this. I would explain how I was scared someone might hurt her in her vulnerable drunken states. Always she would just laugh at me and tell me how silly a notion this was. I continued to worry though. Especially as even after two months she would still disappear like that. It was as if running away had become habitual to her.
I remember the day she confessed her secret to me and I knew then I was lost forever. As long as we were together though I was happy.
She had sat me down upon her bed and holding my hands in hers she said:
“There is something I have to tell you.”
Her eyes entwined with mine, her face full of concern and trepidation and I as if I were her living and feeling mirror was also consumed with the same emotions.
“I have a secret that I need to share with you.” She had said. And I remember how I had turned deathly cold inside and began to shake, for I feared perhaps she would tell me something that would break my heart. And then she bit me.
I knew as she bit me what she was. I knew as I fell unconscious what she had done and I knew a few minutes later as I began to slowly awaken what we both were and I was happy.
“I’m sorry my love.” Charlotte had said to me. Her face wet with tears.
I told her it was alright, that there was no need to be sorry. We were the same now and would be together forever. I told her I was happy and that I loved her. She told me I would not have to kill anyone, for she had blood enough for us both.
“I need to show you something.” She had said, and I took her outstretched hand and she led me out into the night. We walked about a mile until we reached a small industrial estate and she unlocked a door to a small unit and ushered me inside.
“I call this the well.” She said as she switched on the lights revealing to me yet another secret. The small warehouse had been fitted with a dozen or more poles that hung the full length of the warehouse. From each pole were fitted perhaps fifty or more large butcher hooks and from each hook hung a large transparent bag. In every bag was a human body and every bag had a tap fitted at the bottom, fed by a cannula inserted into one of the thighs of every single one of those poor souls.
I was shocked. Yet I knew what I was and the thought that at least I did not have to kill anyone was of some comfort. I realised that I did not have the stomach for murder. All my thoughts, as they had been for the past two months had been about just one thing; Charlotte. It was then that my thoughts became more logical, more focused. It was as if a veil had started to lift. I looked at Charlotte. She was staring at all the corpses, her eyes wide and a smile fixed upon her ruby lips. She turned and smiled at me. I did not smile back.
Suddenly from the well had come a small voice, “Hello?”
I had looked again at Charlotte, but she was gone. I looked out toward all of the hanging body bags and saw my beloved. She had pulled one of them down and was ripping the bag open. A scream filled the warehouse as Charlotte lifted up a young girl and then lunged her teeth into the girl’s throat. The girl was only about seven or eight years old.
“I can’t do this Charlotte.” I had bellowed. ”I can’t...”
Suddenly a hand had grasped my right shoulder. “You should not have turned this one Charlotte. He is weak.” A tall man with white hair and steely blue eyes gripped me, both with his iron talons and with his eyes and although he addressed Charlotte, it was me he stared at. I remember his eyes well, cold and hard and invasive. Around my waste slid a slender arm caressing me. “Weak but cute. Give him a chance Gerhard!” I had thought it might have been Charlotte. But it hadn’t been.
I recall how I struggled, but although their touch was light, it was strong and persuasive. They held me easily as Charlotte approached. “Leave him alone!” Her voice calm, her appearance anything but. Her mouth dripped blood and it had covered her chin and neck. As she spoke blood glided down her nape, seeking out her cleavage.
“He is strong and he is my beloved. You will not hurt him!” Her voice louder than before. The pair that gripped me had hissed like snakes, but their grip lessened and I shrugged myself free.
“What the hell is going on Charlotte?” I spat. “Who are these freaks? And why did you kill that girl?” And as I had looked around I remember how Gerhard and his female companion had chuckled and giggled in response to my outburst.
“Oh my darling, I’m sorry…how rude we are.” Charlotte touched my cheek gently. She had such a gentle touch. I can still feel her now. “I should introduce you to my family.” She’d said gliding past me and looping her arm over Gerhard’s. “This is my brother; Gerhard.” Gerhard simply grinned and nodded. “And the beautiful Marina beside you is my sister.” Marina had responded by blowing a big kiss at Charlotte.
“Gerhard, Marina, this is Jonathon…our newest family member…my beloved.”
Within a blink of an eye Gerhard was face to face with me his nose touching mine. “This weakling must be tested before I will call him family!” He’d hissed. I’d stepped back in shock, Marina though, was at my back. “Test him…test him…test him.” She had chanted and before I could draw breath or speak Gerhard was on the floor and Charlotte had Marina gripped hard by the throat. “He will be tested. And he will pass the test. Then…he will stand by my side as my husband.” Charlotte had declared in a booming voice. And then there was silence. I remember clearly looking at Charlotte and then at her brother and sister and then towards the well, where the sound of a child’s voice came again.
“Hello?” The little girl’s voice said. I looked where she lay and saw her move. “Help me?” She had sobbed quietly, pleadingly.
“Damn you all to hell!” I yelled. “Damn your test and your savage, bloody and cruel...” That was the last thing I remember before I felt a blow to my head. And now here I am, awake but weary. It is pitch black and I cannot see anything. I am bound up and cannot move. I am weak and feel light headed. I have been this way for two days now, floating in and out of consciousness, replaying these memories, reliving my recent past, until finally the warehouse lights are switched on, I cannot see very clearly though, for it is hard to see through the plastic bag. I hear Charlotte speaking to someone.
“I call this the well.”