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Do You Want to Hear a Story?

By TheMightyZan All Rights Reserved ©

Horror

Chapter 1

“Do you want to hear a story?”

The words woke her with a start.

She stared, wide eyed, into the darkness around her, her mind racing as the sound of blood rushing through her ears drowned out everything else for a few moments.

A whisper of movement to her side caused her to freeze, muscles bunching in terror, before a voice spoke again.

“I can tell you a story.”

The voice was whisper soft, and not quite… right. Her hair ruffled as putrid smelling breath washed over her ear, and she scrunched her eyes closed again.

A low, giggling laugh followed her actions and she jerked slightly as she felt a tongue run over the side of her face leaving globs of too cold spittle behind.

“Once there was a girl who thought she was safe. Thought nothing could ever hurt her. So she played with things she should have left alone.”

A nail scrapped over her arm, leaving a burning wound in its wake. She couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her, and the thing laughed again.

“So she played and I was called out, and do you know what I’m going to do to her?”

It shifted above her, and she could feel the oily slide of hair over her shoulders as it moved.

“I’m going to eat her up.”

“Please.” The word stuttered out of her, high pitched and barely recognizable. She hunched further into the bed and would have pulled her blankets over herself if she wasn’t afraid of brushing against the thing above her.

“Please?” It laughed again and leaned down for another lick, this time on her other cheek. “Open your eyes, girl. Look at me if you want to beg for your life.”

She was choking on the stench, and every muscle in her body screamed for her to stay perfectly still, to not open her eyes. But another part… Another part wondered if it might listen to begging, might let her go…

She opened her eyes.

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Clarissa: Very atmospheric and descriptive language, with good character development. This is a complex and interesting story - definitely worth a read.

Deleted User: This is a very clever story in the style of 19th century (and turn of the century) Gothic writing, very reminiscent of Stevenson's The Body Snatchers or even of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (less so of Frankenstein itself, since the author is more minimalist than Shelley's florid, Romantic rhetoric). ...

Shannon Rohrer: This is probably one of the most imaginative stories I've come across in a long time. You have hooking down to a fine art; every chapter has been as engaging as the one before it, the story unfurling in a way that is easy to follow and paced perfectly for each round of events or backstory. Lookin...

Colin Milroy: To begin, I don't think that the first review of this story was fair at all. Based on the popularity of this story, I would say the one-star review hasn't done much harm, but I still felt the need to address it. Now I will do my best to be constructive.I liked the concept of this story. I found i...

duggsy: This kept me intrigued, I only intended on reading 1 chapter but couldn't stop until I'd read the whole thing. The only let-down were a few spelling mistakes hence the 3 stars but otherwise a great read.

Alex Rushmer: I like the intrigue that you introduce from the very beginning of the story. The idea of the girl waking up in the alley with no memory of how she got there and with injuries is very interesting. It was very well done. There were a lot of grammatical errors that need to be fixed though. I think t...

shadowmaven: At first, the word "Dagon" threw me, making me think that this was going to be a story based on one of Lovecraft's, and was pleasantly surprised--no, make that thrilled--when it wasn't (honestly, I like your mythos more). Your writing is so lyrical, deftly capturing this tiny village and the rela...

Resting-Madness: I've been in love that strongly, that I could see myself in the same situation as Surgio. The slow crawl of desperation was well depicted, I could feel myself leaning close to the screen, like he and I were conspiring together on how to construct this Frankenstein of Adela. And that's written thr...

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Bryan Laesch, author of Remnants of Chaos:Chaotic Omens for his use of the Gothic style of writing and in addition the footnotes and endnotes at the end of each chapter, a welcome accompaniment to be sure, though his use of grammar could use a little improving, but his use of punctuation...

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Amy E Moore: If you love horror books, this book will fulfill your needs. It will keep you in suspense and wanting more at the end of every paragraph, page and chapter. It is a must read.

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