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By WittyWriter All Rights Reserved ©


The Victim

Breathe in, breathe out. Darkness. That's all I see. No light. No sound. Total solitude. I can't move. My body is numb. I open my eyes, but there is nothing to see. I let my thoughts roam.

In my mind, I see green fields and a bright blue sky. White fluffy clouds float across my vision high above me and trees dot the Earth. I stand in the middle of this beauty and I don’t move. I won’t disrupt the peace this land has. Breathe in, breathe out.

Peace, what an unusual concept. I’ve never had that feeling before, which is strange. One would think I would have peace if I was just lying in the dark alone. One would think the silence is peaceful. The solitude calming. It’s not. Peace is when you feel the safest and have no worries. That Darkness has no Peace. Breathe in, breathe out.

I strain my ears to hear any sounds around me. There is nothing to hear but myself breathing. I sigh. My mind can create the most beautiful and realistic scene, but there is nothing to hear. Just like that room. In that Darkness. Breathe in, breathe out. Why do I even try anymore? One would think the total silence and solitude would cause a frail being like me to go mad. I have not. I have kept my sanity through these visions I create in my mind’s eye and tell stories to myself. Not vocally of course. Even if I could speak, they would hear me. Breathe in, breathe-!

A gasp escaped me as my eyes flashed open in a panic. My chest was on fire, pain searing through my entire body, the burning spreading to every nerve. A body was above me, its face looking down at me as it held itself above my own form. Darkness covered his features from me, but I could feel his hot breath on my face as he breathed heavily, my bare skin touching rough cloth. I felt the sharp blade move within my flesh, the metal twisting, tearing muscle and skin, blood pouring out of the wound. Breathe in, cough, breathe out.

Precious ichor seeped from the violent wound, the dark garnet liquid soaking my bare skin. Why is this happening? Did I do something to anger them? I… I can’t breathe. I’m choking on my won blood. Cough! Cough! I need to breathe! I try moving my arms to push the attacker off of me but I can’t. I can’t move. Why did I even try? Wasn’t this what I was waiting for? I wasn’t expecting this… this pain. This torture.

Cough, breathe in, cough. This is it. I’m going to die. I am finally going to be free. Free to roam perfect green fields. Free to chase any small animal as I please. Free to do anything I wanted. Free to be with my family once again. Free.

Cough, cough. I feel the darkness pulling at my mind but it wasn’t familiar to the Darkness that surrounded me. Instead, this darkness was peaceful. Calm. Comforting. So unlike the room I was dying in. I was with my family. My long dead family. Running in green fields. Laughing. Smiling. Happy. Alive. I want to join them. I will join them. I see them waving at me, my little brother and sister, my parents smiling at me with their arms around one another. My eyes close and the peace swallows me. Breathe in, breathe out. 

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1. The Victim
Further Recommendations

Tobi Doyle MacBrayne: I was so impressed with this piece. The slow degradation of the main character into a dark and crazy place is beautifully written. I liked that the characters physical descriptions were not described because it gave me a sense that it could be someone I know or love. The grief that breaks the m...

MusketeerAdventure: Well - I really enjoyed this very much! The whole idea of a shared haunting really intrigues me. I thought you did a wonderful job; and I really liked the idea of hearing from the first ghost's point of view. It would be interesting to read more about these two - and the ghost-busters that inf...

Bailey_Simms: So. As of my writing this review, "Deep Trouble" is the most popular story among those submitted to the current Inkitt horror contest. I guess it's best not to lie: I read this story primarily because I wanted to check out the competition. (There's your full disclosure, first, before anything el...

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Bryan Laesch, author of Remnants of Chaos:Chaotic Omens for his use of the Gothic style of writing and in addition the footnotes and endnotes at the end of each chapter, a welcome accompaniment to be sure, though his use of grammar could use a little improving, but his use of punctuation...

elssxa: I love everything about this story. I want more...more...more. This author is superb. I am fascinated by his amazing work. I give him five stars.

heich: Excellent story and excellent writing style. I hope in the future read your works.The story you present is innovative, fresh, different from everything else and let a feeling that you know you want to read more of it. I hope you continue moving in the same, because he's smart and only you know wh...

skippybash12: This story has engaging characters that you care about and a plot that is unpredictable and exciting. It is well written with a believable voice. Great weekend escape and if there was a sequel available I would buy it today -

Caitlin E. Jones: Such a riveting short story, full to the brim with folklore and horrors! The rich details used to make up Doolin were as well-placed as they were written, right down to the disturbing presence of magical creatures. The lives of the humans are used to great effect, giving us short glimpses of thei...

Amy E Moore: If you love horror books, this book will fulfill your needs. It will keep you in suspense and wanting more at the end of every paragraph, page and chapter. It is a must read.

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