Chapter 13: "Can you maybe tell me what's been going on?"
My 18th birthday was slowly approaching and it was easy to say that I wasn’t excited at all. Ever since I found out Blaze murdered my father, I’ve done nothing but drown in depression. My mind was clouded with the moment my father was murdered. Nothing else was in my head except that moment.
I was sat in a group session with a doctor and multiple other patients. I haven’t said a word since I’ve woken up and I wasn’t planning on talking for a while. I was too upset to speak a sentence. I turned in and out of what was being said but I didn’t care what was happening.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Derek. Dr. Michaels wants to see you, he mouthed. I nodded, standing from my spot and exiting the room. We walked down the halls and straight to Dr. Michaels’ office to see the doctor working on paperwork. We entered the office and I quietly sat in the chair in front of the desk. Derek stepped out of the room, giving us privacy.
Dr Michaels finished what he wrote and looked up toward me. “Ryder, I’ve been told you haven’t been acting like how you normally do. Can you maybe tell me what’s been going on?” His tone was full of concern. I sighed as I glanced down to my lap, collecting any thoughts I had. There were so many words flying around my head, I was beginning to feel dizzy.
“The other day I found out something and realized my entire life is a lie.” I quickly explained in a blunt tone.
Dr. Michaels looked at me as if I were insane. “The other day? Ryder, I’ve been getting reports about your case for at least a week or so. I’ve been told you haven’t been leaving you room, you haven’t been eating, you’ve refused to speak. These are common signs of depression and I’m concerned on your mental state.”
I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. Depression? Weeks? This can’t be true. Everything was happening at once and it was too much for me to process. I didn’t think it’s been that long since Blaze and I last spoke.
Dr. Michaels pulled out a sheet of paper. He cleared his throat and continued, “Your guard Derek told me how he would pass your room at night and see you wide awake staring at the ceiling with no facial expression. There’s also days where you would stare into nothing in the eating hall. I’m not exactly sure what you’re going through but judging on your latest actions, you may need a professional who’s more advanced in this field than I am. There’s a doctor in this facility who can help you through what you’re going through. Would you like me to switch you over?”
I slowly nodded my head but wasn’t exactly paying attention to the conversation. A new doctor? I wasn’t sure if I really wanted that. I’ve barely gotten to know Dr. Michaels and I was already being pushed onto someone new.
I left Dr. Michaels office and was taken down to the eating hall. Everyone was off doing their own thing while I sat alone at my table once again. I didn’t even other to get food; I would end up throwing it out anyways. I shut my eyes and rested my head onto my crossed arms. The only thing I was interested in getting was at least ten minutes of sleep.
My thoughts were at ease and my mind drifted off into sleep. My eyelids grew heavier as my body drooped into a slumber. It felt amazing to finally get rest after all those sleepless nights and long days of overthinking.
I felt a chill run down my spine. I shivered, my body covered in goosebumps by the sudden rush of cold air. I tried to resume my rest, but then I felt a hot breath running down the side of my neck.
“You’re going to regret what you said to me Ryder.”