Schizophrenia (Updated & Revised)

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Chapter 8: "May I help you?"

It was noon and I was currently sat in a small phone booth type set up. It was visitor’s hour and I wasn’t expecting anyone to visit. I’m the lost and forgotten soul in my family and I’m pretty sure none of them would care enough to visit me in a place I wasn’t supposed to be in. My mother doesn’t care, I’m sure my father doesn’t even know I’m here, and I was an only child. If my mother really cared, she wouldn’t have put me into this mental institution in the first place.

My head was placed in my arms as I rested on the table. It was pointless to allow me to sit here for an hour for no reason. It’s been at last forty-five minutes that I’ve been here and not one person decided to show up. Whenever something was planned for me to meet up with other people, there was no one ever there. Again, I was that one person who was forever forgotten and no one cared about. I was used to the feeling and I feel as if it wasn’t healthy or right to be used to such an upsetting feeling.

I heard a knock on the glass in front of me, making me look up. I saw a woman with dirty blonde hair and seemed much older. I gave her a confused expression; I had no idea who this woman was. I’ve never in my life seen this woman and now she was suddenly visiting me. Was this all because she saw no one coming to my window? Was this all out of pity? The woman picked up the black telephone which made me mirror her actions, picking up the phone myself.

“May I help you?” I hesitantly asked.

The woman gave me a warm smile, “I’m AddaLynn Dixon,”

I was still confused. “You’re here for what reason?” I asked. I didn’t get why this woman would randomly show up to my window and start talking to me. Just because she told me her name doesn’t mean I would know her right away. As I said before, I have no idea who this woman is. She wasn’t a friend of anyone on my family, she wasn’t in my family, and she isn’t the mother of any of my friends.

The woman sighed before speaking again, “I’m here because I received a phone call this morning from a man named Dr. Michaels. He told me you know a past patient named Blaze.”

I was annoyed to know Dr. Michaels took this whole situation with Blaze outside of the institution. Why did he care so much? Blaze wasn’t harming me in any way, so I can’t catch on to why it was such a big deal. How does this woman know about Blaze anyways? I thought his story wasn’t allowed out of the walls of Mills Mental Institution.

“How do you know Blaze?”

AddaLynn looked from her left to her right as if she was making sure no one but me heart her. She then rummaged through her purse. I watched carefully as she went through his bag in such a hurry. She pulled out a photo and dropped her bag onto the floor. The pulled the phone back to her ear and held the photo to the glass. “I’m also here because I’m Blaze’s sister.” She whispered into the phone.

I felt my face drop as I stared at the picture. It was a photo of AddaLynn and Blaze together. Blaze had an arm slung around AddaLynn’s shoulder. Blaze had a full smile on his face -- he was flashing his teeth and he actually looked happy. “When I heard that you were able to see and speak to Blaze, I rushed over right away. I came here to tell you that Blaze my seem like he’s a person with his head on straight, but he has problems that can mess anyone up. He has a dark reputation on this place and he’s a danger to everyone around him. Our parents didn’t allow me near him, especially when he was mad or upset. I just wanted to warn you on how dangerous he is. You might not have believed Dr. Michaels, but I’m his sister. You have to believe me Ryder.”

Speechless wasn’t enough to describe how I was at that very moment. I was finding Dr. Michaels hard to believe, but having all of these details coming from Blaze’s sister changed my point of view. AddaLynn must’ve known what she was talking about; she’s known Blaze her entire life up to the day he was put into Mills Mental Institution.

“Come on Ryder, visiting hour’s over and we have to go back to your room.” Derek spoke up.

AddaLynn mouthed the words I’ll be back soon to talk to you. I nodded as Derek pulled me off into the halls once again. Patients, guards, and doctors surrounded me as millions of thoughts clouded my mind. Having AddaLynn explain who Blaze was and exactly how dangerous he was was a wake up call for me. I wasn’t going to drop Blaze so soon though -- I was going to dig deeper into who he is and why he’s the way he is. I mean, I’ve got nothing to lose, right?

I entered my room and allowed Derek to cuff me which was still pretty annoying. I was then left alone in my room with my thoughts once again. I was still processing everything AddaLynn told me. I found myself over thinking over and over and over again. I was praying Blaze wasn’t in the presence of my room because whenever he’s around me, he can listen in on my thoughts without a word leaving my lips. If he knew I was giving second thoughts about him just because of what AddaLynn said, he would probably hurt me again. I didn’t know what he was capable of when he was upset; AddaLynn said she was forced to stay away whenever he was upset.

Being terrified was an underestimate.

“I swear to god Ryder if you believe AddaLynn I’ll kill you.”

I turned to see Blaze staring at me with the look of the devil. He glared at me and i began to feel my heart run faster than a racing horse. I shook my head as I stood up, “I’m not Blaze I swear I’m not. I’m just thinking through what she said to me,” I defended myself. I didn’t want Blaze to get to the point where he would want to cause harm on me. I still have that scar under my hairline. I never asked for the scar, and I’m not asking for another one.

He walked closer to me and continued to stare at me with his dark eyes. As he took one step towards me, I took one step back. We continued this until my back hit the wall behind me. “I heard every detail AddaLynn told you. I don’t care how long she’s known me, she’s wrong. AddaLynn is the sister I wish I never had. I was compared to her and she was always the child who was better than me. My parents loved her while they hated me. AddaLynn doesn’t know what she’s talking about because even if we were siblings, she knows nothing about me. If you seriously believe a word she says, you’re dead. Do you understand me?

Terrified, I nodded my head. Blaze faded away and I was left in my room, still against the wall. I tried to clear my mind since I knew Blaze was waiting to listen in on my thoughts. For the first time in my life, my body was trembling with fear. I was terrified of what would happen next with AddaLynn and Blaze. I never thought Mills Mental Institution would pull the terror out of me or bring me to near death. Either way, this institution has brought out a side in my I never thought existed. I wasn’t ready for what was next and I most definitely didn’t want the near future to approach.

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