coming the the end
They were following me again. It never stopped. Going to school, they were there. Going to the swimming club, they were there. It's scaring me how much this is happening. People say I am imagining things. But I am not they are just too clever.
The Shadows are following me, and I don't know how to get away.
Waking up is daunting. When you first get awareness of the things around you, you're not ready to open your eyes or even move. That's when it starts. During the night I don't hear them. I am safe whe sleep. But when I get awareness of what is going on around me, the voices start to speak. Well not exactly speak, but murmur, so it is not clear what they are saying, but there are times when a single voice will get through and sometimes "Moron!" They shout abuse. This morning as I got dressed I wondered why me? Why only me? I find no answer but whenever I ask, they stop for a single moment. Just one single, most delightful moment of silence, but then they come back louder and it can be a headache. So I hardly ever ask the question.
I headed downstairs and saw my mum and dad eating their breakfast.
School. What a dreaded place, full of wannna be's and bully's. But I am lucky enough to stay off the radar. I am frequently known as 'the loner' or 'the creepy kid'. But even with my nicknames, they stay away because they are either scared to get cursed or catch my 'creepiness'. This is the only redeeming feature of the entire place. The school is your common grey stone building with windows, but because of where I live, it also has a back drop of woods behind the school where I go sometimes to ditch or to hang out after school. I passed a few people with the usual whispering, this time, not from my head but from actual people; 'don't you think I would get enough of this? The constant whispering?' I sighed and carried on walking through the doors, when it happened for the first time.
I felt a heavy shove on my side and ended up banging into the lockers. I was shocked, which is a surprising emotion. I haven't felt any other emotion except from fear before so, yes, this is strange. I looked up to see who had done it. Turns out it was one of the popular kids that supposedly run the school. Again that was new.
"Watch were you're going freak." They spat the word 'freak' with such ferocity. I said nothing and they walked away. The one that pushed me was a boy who was an inch taller than me and to others he would be considered a hottie. But to me, well, he just seems like someone who hasn't revolutionized yet. And his little gang of the super popular, whether it female or male, were all sniggering, thinking it was one of the funniest things they have ever seen. The other people in the hall-way where talking, whispering things like how they couldn't believe what happened, and what was going to happen now. I got back up, keeping my emotionless mask, and walked to class.
It was during English class next that the newest incident happened. The class started as usual with Miss Hillington, wearing her happy face and with her happy walk. It really was enough to make you gag.
"Right today we are going to explore how Shakespeare presents woman's treatment in the society that he…"
Her voice goes to the back of my mind as I gazed into space. 'You stupid little piece of filth.' I clench my eyes shut with a stupid hope that it will stop the voices. 'You should just disappear.' I hissed as the voices grew louder inside my head. 'Why don't you just die?'
"Shut up." I whispered through my teeth.
"Shut up!" I said louder. I was getting sick of this. Always hearing these things and being the only one. Always alone, with the constant buzz of headaches.
'You're hideous! No one should have to look at your worthless face'
"SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! SHUT UP!" My screams turned hysterical. I sighed in relief, They'd stopped. But I suddenly realised that it was too quiet and I look to the front of the room, finding that Miss Millington had stopped speaking. I looked to everyone else and found them not looking at the front, but at me instead. They looked at me with fear, as if I was an animal going to attack them. Like I was insane. Am I insane? Or is it them that isn't normal? I didn't have the answers.
"I think you should go outside right now" Miss Millington said with a calm but still frightened voice. It was too much seeing them scared of me. I nodded slowly and walked outside in a daze.
It had been a couple of days since then. My parents had come in to the school and the headmaster said that I should go to the school councillor, which I had already been doing. But I remained silent, not answering the questions Miss Anderson asked me. I was just sitting and trying to ignore the voices like normal. People kept away from me now more than ever, like they're all really scared that I would try and attack them. It wasn't new but I guess it was bound to happen, since I went crazy in the classroom. The popular group that had pushed me into the lockers kept on going strong. But now they were leaving notes in my locker saying things like:
'You should just go die in a hole you little freak!'
Nothing I haven't heard before, but it still hurts. But today, it's going to be different. I am not going to let it affect me like this. I am going to act like a normal kid like everyone else. With this thought in my head, I walked in to school the next day. I walked through the entrance expecting the usual greeting, but it didn't happen, which was strange, But I didn't think too much of it. But people were glaring like they were accusing me of something. I just kept walking until I heard a whisper from my right;
"She killed him,"
I stopped dead. 'Wait, what? What are they talking about?' That's when I saw a locker further ahead with gifts and flowers in front. I slowly walked towards it and found out what it was.
May he rest in peace
It showed a picture of the boy who first shoved me into the locker. I didn't even know his name. The glaring got worse as I got closer.
"Don't you dare! You killer" I stop as I heard the female voice more whispers of how I killed Eddie. It was getting worse and soon it wasn't just them.
'Like my handy work you freak?' For the first time in forever tears started to fall and my eyes widened. How? I couldn't stand it! It couldn't be real! I ran the other direction, continued to run round the school and in to the forest at the back. I just kept running, tears streaming down my face. Not knowing where to go. All alone.
I stopped running away after the sun had set. The most sensible thing to do would be to walk back, but I just couldn't take anymore! These feelings these thoughts I wanted them to end.
'Then why don't you just end it?' The disgusted hiss of that voice. I finally snapped. I couldn't take it. I snapped and screamed
"It's your entire fault this happened! I could be normal but no you had to do this!"
Wind began to build up around me. Then once more I asked the question that always brought me pain
"WHY ME?!" I screamed out all of the anguish and sadness that was finally coming out, and for a moment the voices stopped.
But not for long.
The voices came back with more power than before tearing through my mind at immense speed.
"Why are you doing this!?" I was so confused. The whispering of so many voices going through the cold, billowing wind, the trees rustling with the on-slaughter. Leaves falling to the ground like confetti. I was scared, so scared, I couldn't move, couldn't even think properly. "leave me alone! Please! Leave me alone." My last couple of words sounded like whimpers. My fear so high my fear was reaching the peak I knew that I would crash. The wind was howling and moaning. The whispers were getting louder and louder until they were shouting and screaming abuse into my ears. 'Do it!', 'You aren't worth anything!', 'Do it!'
I clutched my head trying to drown out the noise. I looked up to the crescent moon begging and begging to make it stop. I wanted see my family again. But it didn't happen. Instead of answering my pleas, My skull started to pound with white hot pain. I kept hearing screaming and screeching untill I realised that it was me. Me! I was making that terrible noise. "This is it. My death."
This was the only tangible thought in my head. Then everything stopped. The wind, the voices, everything was silent. And in this silence my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I fell to the ground.
Two people walked to a grey gravestone on a bland and bland day. The woman placed a single red rose in front of this gravestone, than the man hugged his wife for comfort. It was a year today that their little girl died. They would never see her again. They stayed a while until they finally couldn't stand it anymore and left. Turning away from what was inscribed on the gravestone.
Born-2 January 1997
Died-5 august 2013