1. Left Behind
I was standing outside my bedroom window thinking what I've done wrong, why did it happened to me. Letting out a sigh I try to pick my self up and make a plan. A visible plan for my future.
Tears in my eyes tracing down my cheeks. Dropping my self on the floor hugging my knees I cried, god knows how many times already today.
It has been a week since their funeral. Remembering my parents, it hurts me that I wouldn't get to see them again. Couldn't have dinner with them again, sharing our days. Couldn't confide with them no longer.
Still crying, I made up my mind. I can do this. I can survive this. I have to survive this. Can't let the accident get in the way. Smiling at Barney, knowing I still have him. He will listen to me, when others can't.
As the night came, I'm still sitting in my one bedroom apartment. Wondering what should I do first tomorrow. To think it was all so easy when you were young. Now so many things, have to come to consideration. I am still reluctant to go anywhere, especially after dark. Feeling like some one is watching.
Having the ability to see the dead, is not all the hurrah as people might think. For those that don't have it, they wish they do. And for those who have, they would either accept it or try to deny it. For me is the later.
I would preferably go, where I would know the history of the place. I need to know, what I would be up against to better prepare my self with. Sometimes, they would just pop out of no where, dusty shadows, the sound of a woman crying, or just a face appear out no where, looking sad or even angry some times. I know they want to communicate, sometimes they just want to convey their message to their loved ones. But this is not me. I never wanted this!
I miss my parents, life was so easy with them guiding me... Now I'm scared. To think I was so annoyed back then, when they would tell me where and where not to go. After their accident, I've realised that I needed them the most. Alone in this world, is not how I imagined my life to be.
When their lawyer contacted me the next morning and deliver the news, I was beyond shocked. While still feeling sad and confuse I agreed to come to his office and finish all the legal process.
It's a large office with large windows, overlooking dense mid afternoon traffic. He welcomed me and gave me his card Aiden Monroe. Stated on the name card along with his contact details.
Charming man about 35 years old, glasses and all that. I'm sure the ladies will glance when he passed by looking tall and confident, probably around 6.5'. While I consider my self not short at 5.7' usually men would slightly move away from my direction at bars or parties due to my height, especially when I'm in heels. But he looked right at me and shaked my hand professionally, and directed me to sat on the chair in front of his desk.
"Look Ms. Marsden..." He said, "Lisa...call me Lisa, I'm sure we can loose the formality now that you know more about my family, than anyone else." I said to Mr. Monroe. I don't know why, but at this stage I was sick of everyone calling me Ms. Marsden. It reminded me of my parents last name.
"Well then, you should call me Aiden" he said with a smile ... A very business like charming smile.
I can't seem to look away from his smile. It Looked so genuine, like he really cared about all his clients. Maybe it's the glasses. I've never seem to considered men in glasses. Well maybe it came down to their professions like doctors, lawyers, accountants. I'm usually drawn to more exciting profession in a man. Like athletes, I've dated from basketball players to even golfers. But none who worked behind the desk.
"Look Lisa.. I know it's a lot to process right now, but I want you to know that your parents loved you very much, and they would like you to have a settled future incase of their death." Aiden said to me while getting up from his chair, behind his large dark wood mahogany desk. He moved the vacant chair next to mine, so he could faced me. He sat casually on the chair next to mine, looked into my eyes like we have known each other for years.
I guess it came with the profession. Him dealing with other people businesses, in their moment of grief like mine. Staring into his eyes as my eyes watered, I'm trying to contained my grief, but it hurts ... It hurts, when it happened when you least expected.
Aiden gently tap my palm for assurance, "shh...Lisa I'm sure your parents, would like you to be strong. I have met them before, and they spoke very highly of you.. how you're their only child, and they wanted you to be able to stand on your own, should anything happen to them, hence the Will they composed couple of months ago in this office with me." Aiden said with comfort and calmness, that made me listened to every word he said. Every word, that my parent said to him.
After signing all the necessary documents, I'm ready to leave the office. "Lisa, you have my number. You can call me, should you need further assistance. I owe a lot to your parents. Just call me... okay? it'll ease my mind." Aiden said abruptly, upon me leaving the office.
It made me wonder, what would a person like Aiden owed my parents for..but I just shaked his hand, while nodding and saying goodbye to him. It's all still feel so surreal to me.
Walking out of his office, I glance around and wonder how my parents have the kind of money, to pay for this kind of lawyer. Those looking expensive in their designer suits and luxurious offices. It's one of those prestigious lawyer's office, in tall buildings, right in the business side of town.
Going back to my car, I throw my bags and all documents, to the passenger side. I take a deep breath, grab the steering wheel and shift the gear, to drive back to my childhood home. Once again in my own mind. Feeling left behind.
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