Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

Free copy left
You can read our best books
Chelsea Marlin would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

A Cruel Fate

By Chelsea Marlin All Rights Reserved ©

Mystery / Horror


Modin Hampshire's mother is a superstitious woman, that is why she named her only daughter after Thor's son Modi, who had been destined to survive the Norse end of the world: Ragnarok. Andrea Hampshire was sure by naming her Modin she would be destined to live a long and prosperous life. Some God somewhere must have been laughing at Andrea on the night of October the 18th.

The Hampshire's lived in a quiet suburban neighborhood in Bellevue, Tennessee. Most kids in Modin's freshman class were partying at Freddy's house two streets over from her own house. Modin, instead of getting dolled up like all of her friends, was sitting on the couch in her 'straight off a magazine cover' living room. 

The night had a demonic chill that made goose bumps rise on Modin's arms, despite being inside. Her parents were currently enjoying a date night at Demos' in downtown Nashville, and would not be back until after midnight. The grandfather clock read 7:52, and already Modin had the desire to go upstairs to her room and sleep until morning. 

The television blared a Taylor Swift music video, but Modin was focusing on a strange noise from the dining room. What was that noise? 

Modin stood and cautiously tiptoed through the kitchen and into the large dining room area. The room was empty and the scratching sound was absent. She glanced under the mahogany table and out the glass double doors just to be sure no one was hiding there. When she deemed the coast clear, Modin went back to watching television. However, before she made it three steps, the scratching sound returned, only this time from the kitchen.

It's not real! Modin screamed to herself, it's just your imagination running wild. 

Modin peeped around the wall into the kitchen. The room was also empty of people, and everything appeared to be in its proper place: the round table with its six chairs were sitting in the center of the room, the island was empty and polished, and all the appliances were turned off. So what was the scratching noise?

Modin shook her head and walked into back into the living room. She plopped down onto the sofa and stretched out, closing her eyes for a brief moment. The room seemed to quiet. She stared at the black screen of the flat screen, I don't remember turning off the TV. 

Modin cringed as the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She could feel the house grow colder, as if someone had turned on the A/C unit. The alarm system blared and flashed a bright green color from beside the front door. Though no one was visible, Modin could feel the presence of someone else in the house with her. 

The front door stood wide open, the cold wind of the night blew leaves into the houses' interior. Modin shivered as her eyes studied every crevice of the room. The cell phone in her pocket vibrated, the alarm system's operator's name flashed on the screen. "Hello," Modin whispered, "I think someone is in my house. The front door is open, but I don't see anyone."

"Hello," the operator answered, "Modin I must advise you to exit the house immediately. You can stay on the phone with me if you would like."

Modin's brain ran rampant, "How do you know my name? I never mentioned it."

The line stayed silent for a moment, "I just assumed it was you. Your name is listed on the system's registry."

A crashing sound from upstairs caused Modin to drop the phone. She turned and ran out the front door as fast as she could. The walkway leading from the house seemed endless and the air in her lungs was quickly depleting. She pushed through the bushes that concealed the house from the road and stopped cold. A dark van with only a window on the driver's side sat parked directly in front of her. 

Oh God, the man on the phone wanted me to come outside.   

Modin slammed the door shut, she could hardly remember the run back into the house. She panted and slid down the door frame. The floor was hard and unforgiving. A hard push caused Modin to fall forward on her face. Someone was trying to bust down the front door; the door hinges were straining from the force. 

Modin knew she had to find a safe place to hide. She grabbed the cell phone from where she had dropped it minutes before and ran upstairs to her parent's room. She slipped into the wide double doors and pushed aside the dresser on the left wall. The dresser was only a front, behind it stood a keypad that opened the secret room. 

Modin punched in the code, 9-6-4-0-2, and entered the family panic room. The door shut behind her and locked. She felt safe until she turned around and had her first look at the panic room. Suddenly, Modin felt she might have a better chance facing the attackers outside, rather than face the horrors that her parents had hidden away in the hidden room.

Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

Caitlin E. Jones: There is something genuinely sweet, child-like, and heartfelt about stories where books comes to life. For me, at the least, since one of my favorite books- "Inkheart" by Cornelia Funke, uses the concept lavishly. This piece brought back those same warm feelings, with its loyalty to the fairytale...

Kastril Nomenclature: This is a very clever story in the style of 19th century (and turn of the century) Gothic writing, very reminiscent of Stevenson's The Body Snatchers or even of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (less so of Frankenstein itself, since the author is more minimalist than Shelley's florid, Romantic rhetoric). ...

Kastril Nomenclature: What a fascinating work: a photo that seems to reveal a strange figure in the window of an old hotel leads to a mystery about a missing page of Queen Victoria's diary! This is a mystery in the best sense, with small clues leading to bigger ones, all of them building one upon the other to the quie...

M.L. Bull: Hello, Aalia!Your story compelled the emotional pain and struggle of a teenage girl very well.. The imagery was also convincing and well-written, showing the different personalities of your characters and their actions. However, I do think that many of your sentences are too lengthy and could use...

Shelley Miller: The ideas and the set up and this are amazing! The feel of the story goes from science fiction to horror to suspense all in a big, thrilling ball. I really like your character so far and her powers and the idea of the ark being a person. The world is intense and gritty and clever as well. While a...

mjtelesca: The plot keeps the reader interested, and you want to help the main characters in their conflicts. A very interesting ending that makes the reader think and talk about it. Minor punctuation and grammatical mistakes but does not impede the overall story. Any fan of action/adventure will enjoy t...

Kiz16: After a truly shocking start to the story, I found the style and content slowed down as the author introduced a varied group of characters who I thought were fleshed out very well. After a slow couple of chapters, I found this story difficult to leave with the tension growing within the house. Yo...

Bradley Darewood: I really really really liked this. I just voted for you!The voice is flawless-- I can't write men as well as you do and I have a penis. Maybe I'm narcissistic but I particularly enjoyed the moment where he muses about how artists would do better in such a solitary job. But my favorite moment ...

Alex Rushmer: I like the intrigue that you introduce from the very beginning of the story. The idea of the girl waking up in the alley with no memory of how she got there and with injuries is very interesting. It was very well done. There were a lot of grammatical errors that need to be fixed though. I think t...

More Recommendations

Caitlin E. Jones: Such a riveting short story, full to the brim with folklore and horrors! The rich details used to make up Doolin were as well-placed as they were written, right down to the disturbing presence of magical creatures. The lives of the humans are used to great effect, giving us short glimpses of thei...

Diane April: Really liked the concept of this story. The beginning had a great explanation about how things worked in the real world that people tend to overlook. It was a nice change from the usual zombie story that just makes things up as they go along and actual facts don't matter.

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral stories!

FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"

The Cyneweard

Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral story!

Ro-Ange Olson: "Loved it and couldn't put it down. I really hope there is a sequel. Well written and the plot really moves forward."