Qiuzy would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

THE UNSEEN

By Qiuzy All Rights Reserved ©

Fantasy / Horror

WISHES - PILOT

A cold win rattled the window in the Dinner Inn, and Sue stared out of the dark street. Snow gathered on the ground and she said a quick prayer hoped that today the snow doesn’t came in the rush.

“I don’t believe he invited us to this place for the re-united” Sue finally talked to me, Sue is my friend, she was a cheerleader captain in our senior high school. One day, she just left the cheerleader club and came to us to joined our club without any reason and back then I finally know that Sue was joined our club because she was in love with Alden. Alden was a very handsome and brave man. He was our captain, and he could seen a real ghost, that’s why joined the horror club could be so interesting.

“Neither I, he just disappear after he went to the college and now, he wants to meet us.” It’s weird. I thought. James was a clumsy person. He never talked to us, never share any stories to us. I don’t even knew why he joined our horror club in senior high school. When we graduated, he moved to Austria with Alden, and a years after that, we never heard about them again. I just don’t believed that he now invited us. He must changed so much in Austria.

“Hi Allison it’s been a long time” Robert and Grey came together. Robert is my ex boyfriend and we never talked after we broke up on the graduation, but he seems fine right now. He kissed my cheek and sat beside me while Grey sat beside Sue.

“Long time no see guys” Grey smiled to us, “FYI, Robert still single” he added while he stared at me and made Robert and Sue smiled. Jerk!

“Hi Guys” James came to the Dinner Inn and he looked so confident while I felt so strange. I just felt that the atmosphere in this room changed after he came. Not because he is confident now or he looked handsome with his height or his manner, no! It’s not that feeling. He is just looked creepy?

My friends was standing and talked to him, except me. I just sat in there, feeling so bad. I don’t know my feelings never wronged. So if I felt something strange, I believe it must been something.

“Did Alden didn’t came with you? I thought you would came with him” said Robert. Robert and Alden was a real best friend. He looked disappointed that Alden never contact us no matter how long we sent a message for him.

“We didn’t contact each other after the graduation on the college.. Sorry for disappointed you” James looked so confident while saying that. I just don’t think that he really is felt sorry or something.

“I think I must to go to the toilet now” I cut those conversation and went to the toilet tostart sent a message to Alden. I know we weren’t talk to each other now, but maybe just maybe… he could reply and relieved my bad feelings about James.

‘Hi Alden, how r u doing?‘ I waited Alden to answer my chat but he is not, so that I go to our table and they looked very enthusiasm when James talked to them.

“Hi Al, come on sit down here. James had a great horror stories” Sue looked so excited, maybe it wasn’t because the story, I knew Sue very well, it because James was so handsome.

“Okay, since everybody is here now, I will tell you my stories”


Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Qiuzy
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Marijana1: The melancholy present throughout this story has the power to influence and etch into the minds of the readers, to stay there and refuse to leave even after they have finished reading the story. This is a deep, powerful story, making the readers wonder about everything – about love, about their e...

spatiaangelus : Loved reading this novel. the intricacy of the storyline, the amount of detail and the development of the plot was amazing.Not only is it a unique read, I found it utterly enjoyable and cannot wait to read more

Drew C. Elyon: I've only read one chapter so far, but from what I've seen, this is steampunk at its best. The narrative flows so beautifully I could envision every scene in an almost cinematic fashion. I believe in the complexity of simplicity, and this story has that in its descriptions.

Tony Hyde: This was a great book!It was a crazy ride to an insane ending! It kept me at the edge of my seat.I enjoyed the three timelines and how they brought the story to a fantastic peak near the end!If you like suspense with lots of twists and turns than this book is for you!

Nanasha: I thought I'd written a comment on this story, but for some reason, I guess it didn't go through. Anyway, so this story is intensely addictive. I liked how the author uses established mythology but then gives it a unique twist. The idea of goblins all coming from the head of the king is an ama...

More Recommendations

Deleted User: I love your use of writer's craft and how you use figurative language to enhance your writing. It great how you didn't have any spelling or grammar issues.

uccowade: im not quite done....200 pages left. very well written. my only criticism would be the minor spelling, grammar and structure errors. needs more polishing....regardless I was able determine how word or sentences were likely intended to be written. errors we're relatively minor in frequency and...

Hali McGowan: when will the third book be done? I am absolutely hooked. I red the first two books within less than a week. I'm itching for the third one. The plotline is absolutely wonderful. I've never been much for sci-fi ish books. but you've got me hooked on this series

bloodrosemaiden: I love this book!! I have read it several times and though there could be improvements I applaud the author. I know positive feed back is appreciated!! I enjoy reading about the learning the different character's backstories, and the affects in the overall story!

jennywren313: This is a throughly engaging and ripping yarn ... I loved the writing style .. the flashbacks so real that the current moments forgotten .. it is a great read and one I would recommend to anyone that enjoys a bit of a mystery .. wrapped up in a story .. carried by well described characters .. and...

{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.